mommyoftwinboys Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 Please answer gently if you are feeling led to answer... I'm pregnant right now so my emotions are on a crazy rollercoaster... For the last week or so, I've *felt* like my son has cancer...I don't know why but it is literally gripping me with fear. I'm constantly checking his temperature, his weight, his stomach, checking for rashes..everything.. He is a bit smaller than his twin and while he is generally a strong, active kid I just worry about him more... I feel like I can't stop worrying about this...I've scheduled well checks for both of them on Friday because my fear is such that I can't even cope right now. I'm constantly crying about it and googling symptoms on the computer. My husband agreed to let them go to the well check(even though he feels like nothings wrong-just to appease me and my feelings) I was constantly feeling his stomach last night for swelling and then checking his brother..I could have sworn it felt swollen on one side but my husband said otherwise... I worry because he is smaller and weighs less(like 8 pounds) than his twin... Please help me sort through this...could this be mother's intuition or am I just crazy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 :grouphug: I wish I could tell you something to help your fears. I believe in intuition but I also believe in crazy pregnancy hormones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 As a mother who went through this just a weekend ago, I believe in trusting my gut, on the otherhand, I'm not preggers either!! Is there a non invasive way to test (PET scan) that you can afford? --Because this would be self pay, not insurance since there are no symptoms. Lara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoftwinboys Posted December 13, 2010 Author Share Posted December 13, 2010 How much does a PET test cost? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoftwinboys Posted December 13, 2010 Author Share Posted December 13, 2010 Also(Lara inCO) did you have a child that didn't have symptoms but you felt something was wrong? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 I had a child that sliced her achilles tendon and the first emergency room sent her home and told us to call a specialist in a few days, my anxiety grew to the point where I took her somewhere else a couple of days later. Even there, the Dr called in a specialist only because I looked so stressed, and the specialist tried to tell me her tendon would grow back, he looked at the MRI to humor me, a few minutes later she was booked for surgery the next morning. Turns out she completly severed the tendon and it would have never grown back. Lara I do not know how much a pet scan costs-- at lot though 3000-5000? Lara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delaney Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 If the weight is the only issue that has you worried I would say that it is the hormones making you think that way. Unless there is something you can physically pinpoint I would just go the visit, see what they say, and then go from there. I used to have all sorts of paranoid thoughts about my kids when I was hormonal. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 As a mother who went through this just a weekend ago, I believe in trusting my gut, on the otherhand, I'm not preggers either!! Is there a non invasive way to test (PET scan) that you can afford? --Because this would be self pay, not insurance since there are no symptoms. Lara Umm, a PET scan IS invasive; you're injected with radioactive dye! You can't just go in and demand one; a doctor has to order it. If you're really worried about your son, take him to the doctor. If the doctor feels there's good cause to check this out, he'll start with bloodwork, most likely, then go from there. A PET scan is NOT the first step in determining cancer. I'm sorry you're worried--pg hormones can really wreak havoc, but please don't put your son through invasive tests unless you have some solid evidence supporting your fears. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoftwinboys Posted December 13, 2010 Author Share Posted December 13, 2010 Oh gosh..we couldn't afford that... Has anyone expressed these concerns to your childs doctor and been dismissed? I've read there is a blood test that will test for that.. I think it's called CBC or something like that..I wonder if I could get that without a doctor's orders? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoftwinboys Posted December 13, 2010 Author Share Posted December 13, 2010 He hasn't lost weight, he's just smaller than his brother. They both eat the exact same amount and are in the same activities.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 This is a hard thing to know what to do. I believe that God gives us messages through feelings, I also know that I have misinterpreted them many times. I cannot tell you how many times I have driven home to check the stove that I knew was on and it wasn't. I also know that a couple of Dr's told me this could wait (DD's tendon) and I just kept pushing, now the feeling is gone. If I were you, I'd do a lot a prayer, and look for syptoms and see a Dr who will actually listen to you. Lara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 Oh gosh..we couldn't afford that... Has anyone expressed these concerns to your childs doctor and been dismissed? I've read there is a blood test that will test for that.. I think it's called CBC or something like that..I wonder if I could get that without a doctor's orders? No lab is going to give tests without a doctor's order to do so. A CBC is a complete blood count. A doctor interprets the results. You can't get a CBC and just look at the results and know what they mean. Again, if you're really concerned, take your son to the doctor. If you have symptoms or evidence that supports your concerns, write it down and discuss it with him/her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialmama Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 Could you find a really good Naturopath? Some of them are great. (((asking very, very gently))) are you ever concerned about other things? Does OCD run in your family? This is just my personal filter here, with a sister who has put her infant son through many tests for no reason, it was just OCD in her. He was 1 month old and endured a spinal tap, the poor thing. :crying: and :cursing: I'm not saying I don't believe you, I do know that God does give mamas a 6th sense about things sometimes, so do go with your gut and do what you can to ensure his health. I just wanted to throw the above out there for a quick consideration but totally smothered in hugs :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoftwinboys Posted December 13, 2010 Author Share Posted December 13, 2010 OCD...no...Anxiety...yes..and I've been struggling BIG time with it this pregnancy. But, I then worry it's not my anxiety but mother's intuition....and the circle of worry continues... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jilly Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 I would take them on Friday to put your mind on ease. Until then I would try not to worry, and I would make an effort to not check your son anymore. I have a feeling the hormones may be making you worry about this more than you would otherwise. Also I would try to not compare the twins. I know how easy it is to do this as I worry about my twins too. My son is very skinny and has asthma and allergies. His twin sister is healthy and not skinny, and many nights I stay up worrying about my son. It has taken me years to realize he is fine just the way he is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VA6336 Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 Out of curiosity, are the twins fraternal or identical? I know lots of fraternal twins who vary widely in weight and height. I know some identical twins who vary in weight, but not in height. I have absolutely no medical background so please don't take the question as anything other than curiosity why the weight differs if they eat the same and have the same activity levels. Otherwise, it sounds like you need a great big :grouphug: and some good friends to pour out your anxiousness to, in order to stay calm and focused with your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 I can understand the worry...I've gone through periods of it myself with my twins. It's normal for one twin to be smaller. My identical girls have been at different weights most of their lives, even though they are pretty much always the same height. They just have different metabolisms I think. I would get a well check done, and then try to chalk it up to pregnancy anxiety. It's hard, but it won't do any of you any good to dwell on it. If it continues to be that strong, then you might want to talk to your OB/GYN about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 My twin boys were always similar heights but different weights. Around 9 years old, I would say that one was maybe 10 pounds heavier than the other, but all through their lives there was some difference. Then the heavier one shot up in height, and right now, he probably has 3 inches and 20 pounds on his twin. Both are very "normal" heights and weights, but one is taller and heavier than the other. Both eat a lot and are active. I am not a huge believer in women always thinking their guts are right. I think God gives us brains, reason, and facts as a way to balance our "gut" feelings. To me, it seems like women bring a lot of trauma in their own lives by always thinking that "go with your gut" is the right answer. That said, though, if you are picking up on things that concern you, even things you can't articulate, it seems like there is no real harm in getting well checks and talking to a doctor. The harm would be (to you) in allowing this to consume you and (to him) in requiring unnecessary tests and worry. But getting an appointment to have him checked out and giving the doctor heads up that you have this feeling that all may not be well does not seem like a mistake in and of itself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 OCD...no...Anxiety...yes..and I've been struggling BIG time with it this pregnancy. But, I then worry it's not my anxiety but mother's intuition....and the circle of worry continues... I completely understand that. Sometimes when my son (who's an adult, fcol!) is out late, I get this sick feeling that he's in an accident and hurt or dead and I get all worked up over it until I'm a sobbing mess, only to have him waltz through the door an hour later. And, I'm not pg! When was the last time your boys had physicals? If it's been a year, schedule them. Most insurances pay for yearly exams, which can include bloodwork. My insurance, for example, doesn't even charge the co-pay for the yearly exam and covers blood work and a chest x-ray. If it puts your mind at ease that your sons are OK, then by all means, take them in for physicals. Feelings can be deceptive, and while I do believe in mother's intuition, I don't believe it's 100% infallible. If you have a history of anxiety, and your son has no other symptoms than that he's smaller than his brother, I'd tend to think this is more anxiety on your part than a real disease. BUT, a physical or check up can't hurt anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 I don't know if this will help, but I have identical twin boys. The only real difference is in their weights. Twin A has always been 3-10lbs smaller than his brother (except when they were born then it was about 13 ounces different). Twin A is more active and I suspect has some ADD issues. I've never given the weights a second thought ;) Take care of you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenC3 Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 Bless your heart! I know wht you are going through. I've felt this way with all 3 at one point having to do with weight, various aches and pains, apparent bumps, bruises. I'm a bit OCD I think with the kids I can worry endlessly, pg or not. What I've had to do is say to myself God gave me these children to steward to the best of my abilities and ultimately they belong to Him. If there are no REAL symptoms that seem out of character or unusual AND persist, than I have to shake it off. I do believe that the warning will be there for me. HUGS mama! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 With the pregnancy, I tend to think that this could be a hormonal thing on your part. I'd talk to my OB about these feelings and give him the same details you've given us.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 Taking them in for well checks is never a bad idea. I do want to throw one thing out there though.....Do you think it is possible that you are worried about the new baby, and projecting those fears onto your son? I would, like a pp said, stop examining your son....he might start getting anxious and worried too. Talk to your doc on Friday, and let us know how it goes. Until then, :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoftwinboys Posted December 13, 2010 Author Share Posted December 13, 2010 Thank you all for being so supportive..I do feel like a bad mom because he keeps asking if something is wrong with him:crying: I just love him so much and he's always been the one I baby a bit...I'll bring him in on Friday with his brother. We are all seeing the same doctor and I have an appt. on Wed. so I think I'll let him know then too so he can be especially attentive on Friday.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 Thank you all for being so supportive..I do feel like a bad mom because he keeps asking if something is wrong with him:crying: I just love him so much and he's always been the one I baby a bit...I'll bring him in on Friday with his brother. We are all seeing the same doctor and I have an appt. on Wed. so I think I'll let him know then too so he can be especially attentive on Friday.. Good job! Now, relax. Take a bubble bath and light some candles and have some hot chocolate with hazelnut creamer and marshmallows on top. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I'm sure everything is just fine, and that your ds is perfectly healthy. I know what it's like to have an irrational fear and how incredibly real it feels. I think you should have your son see the doctor, not because I believe he needs it, but because I believe that you need to do it to calm your fears. The biggest thing to remember is that even if the doctor says everything is fine, and you're convinced that he's right about that, you might start worrying about something else being wrong next week. It's so easy to get into a vicious cycle where you feel gripped by fear and paranoia. Of course, this could be your mother's instinct telling you that something is wrong... but it probably isn't. It's probably just your emotions wreaking havoc on you. If your son was constantly exhausted, or had other weird and unexplainable symptoms, I would be more concerned about this, but he sounds like a normal kid who happens to be smaller than his twin. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olan719 Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 :grouphug: I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. In the past, I have struggled with anxiety about my own health, and I know just what you mean about the cycle of worry versus intuition thing. I think it's great to get the boys checked out. Many doctors do routine CBCs through a finger stick at their well child checkup - ours does. That may set your mind at ease. Like pps have said, it's best to stop checking your son repeatedly, and stop googling information. (Said very gently) These patterns of constantly checking and googling to "make myself feel better" were things I did when I thought I had something seriously wrong with me. I recognize now the obsessive patterns that my anxiety was causing me to do. Just based on what you have said, I think your pregnancy hormones are playing with your tendencies toward anxiety. My twins are VERY different sizes. One is 3 and a half inches taller and 7 pounds heavier. They are both girls, so same gender! I have never worried about the smaller one's health just because she was tiny. Smaller does not mean something is wrong. There has to be something else physically present. :grouphug: I hope you can calm your mind and fears soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rivka Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 I had Postpartum Anxiety Disorder with my last baby, and I felt just like this. I had very, very strong beliefs that things were badly wrong, and I couldn't stop thinking about them, and I was absolutely convinced of their truth even though I had nothing I could put my finger on to convince anyone else. It felt absolutely, 100%, perfectly and completely real. It went away when I took medication to treat my anxiety. Completely away. I am glad you are going to talk to your doctor about your concerns. Please be open to the possibility that these fears have a biochemical basis. We hear a lot about Post-Partum Depression, but Post-Partum Anxiety is also a very real hormonal/biochemical disorder. Just like PPD, it can begin during pregnancy instead of after the baby is born. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 I don't believe it's intuition. It sounds like you're hormonal and experiencing irrational fear. A pp suggested talking with your OB and I agree. I also think you should talk with a trusted IRL friend who can be a reality test for you and help you with accountability for staying off google. You are giving up some days with your children worrying yourself about something that is highly unlikely to be true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 Oh gosh..we couldn't afford that... Has anyone expressed these concerns to your childs doctor and been dismissed? I've read there is a blood test that will test for that.. I think it's called CBC or something like that..I wonder if I could get that without a doctor's orders? When Zee started struggling with daily headaches in addition to migraines, I started with my pediatrician. She refered me to a neurologist, because she is a good enough doctor to admit when something is outside her scope of practice/expertise. Now, we have a PPO, so we didn't need a 'referal'; I can take my boys to whatever doc/specialist I want. But, my point is, my ped. didn't minimize my concerns; instead, she validated them by helping us find the right doctor to help him. Hopefully, your pediatrician will be able to help you, too. And yes, I firmly believe that the Lord can prompt moms and dads to action about things concerning their children, even without any 'reason'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catalinakel Posted December 13, 2010 Share Posted December 13, 2010 Umm, a PET scan IS invasive; you're injected with radioactive dye! You can't just go in and demand one; a doctor has to order it. If you're really worried about your son, take him to the doctor. If the doctor feels there's good cause to check this out, he'll start with bloodwork, most likely, then go from there. A PET scan is NOT the first step in determining cancer. I'm sorry you're worried--pg hormones can really wreak havoc, but please don't put your son through invasive tests unless you have some solid evidence supporting your fears. :grouphug: :iagree::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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