Seconds at dinner

[happyhomemaker25]

Tonight as I watched all of my perfectly healthy and great weight kids get second helpings on dinner I thought about whether it was going to hurt them later in life.

My husband and I are forever battling our weight and I don't want to instill habits in them that will cause weight problems later in life.

Do your kids take seconds? Would I be depriving them if I stopped offering seconds? We don't get seconds at restaurants and everyone seems full. I'm just pondering.

[Dawn in OH]

We struggled with this too. We've finally come to a comfortable position on it.

 

If you have eaten everything on your plate and you would like seconds, you have to wait and think about it for a few minutes. If you are truly hungry, you may have seconds. We prefer it to be of the meat, beans, vegetable or fruit. We are a little more strict with seconds on things like pasta, rice, and bread. In fact, I've started making less pasta and rice and encouraging people take larger servings of a vegetable.

 

I don't want anyone to leave the table still hungry. On the other hand, I don't want anyone overeating just because it was good.

[HappyCrazyMama]

I allow seconds but don't offer them.(iow I don't make suggestions) My dc take seconds often but not always. I don't think it is a problem unless they are stuffing themselves on a regular basis out of habit but my children eat more than I do most of the time even the little ones.

 

ETA- Like the previous poster they do have to have the first plated cleared before getting a second helping of something, for example you can't get another spoonful of potatoes if you still have meat and/or salad on your plate.

Edited October 16, 2010 by Happyhomemama
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[kmacnchs]

If you have eaten everything on your plate and you would like seconds, you have to wait and think about it for a few minutes.

 

I think that's a good rule :)

 

As long as you are eating healthy food, seconds aren't a bad thing, imo.

 

We have our meal (meat, veggies, maybe some bread/pasta) and then fruit is our dessert (if they finish everything on their plates).

[Nestof3]

Kids are growing; adults are not. Adults just don't need as much food. My boys have never had a weight issue, so I don't really give it a second thought.

 

If I were as active as they are, I wouldn't have a weight issue either.

[regentrude]

In our family, everybody gets to eat as much as they want. If they want seconds, they can as long as there is food left. If they want seconds for desert, they can as well.

Nobody in our family is overweight. The key is having enough exercise in the daily activities.

[Mrs Mungo]

Kids are growing; adults are not. Adults just don't need as much food. My boys have never had a weight issue, so I don't really give it a second thought.

 

If I were as active as they are, I wouldn't have a weight issue either.

 

Same here.

[Alyce]

I have a weight issue and always have. Dh has developed one as he got older. Both my kids are slim. Dd is 102 lbs 5'6" at 20 yrs old. Ds is 130 lbs at 6'4" at 17 years old. They've always been thin and many times been accused of being anorexic. They can put away the food. It is nothing for my son to put away 3 chicken sandwiches at one setting. They can eat so much because they are very active and need lots of calories. Dd is a dancer and Ds is heavily involved in Martial Arts. We have always let them eat as much as they wanted but also have talked to them about the need for less calories as they get older and as they get less active. Dd told me last year that she could tell the activity level paid a big part in her eating habits. She is a dance major but was only taking one dance class. She found that she felt fuller sooner than she had been. This year her eating is back up because she is taking 5 dance classes. Because we've talked with them as they grew up and didn't have a lot of snack foods and no soft drinks around I think they've come to a better understanding of food and it's effect on the body. I'm not worried about what will happen when they get older.

[NanceXToo]

None of my kids are currently overweight.

 

They are all healthy, active, growing kids.

 

If they want seconds (or even thirds) they get it!

 

They also have no problem not finishing a plate when they are full- they know their body's "hungry" and "full" signs, and I try to respect those.

 

If you're worried about your kids having eating issues later, I think that refusing them food can make them covet it even more or something, I can totally see that mindset backfiring on you.

[Dobela]

In our family, everybody gets to eat as much as they want. If they want seconds, they can as long as there is food left. If they want seconds for desert, they can as well.

Nobody in our family is overweight. The key is having enough exercise in the daily activities.

:iagree:

[Sherry in OH]

Tonight as I watched all of my perfectly healthy and great weight kids get second helpings on dinner I thought about whether it was going to hurt them later in life.

My husband and I are forever battling our weight and I don't want to instill habits in them that will cause weight problems later in life.

Do your kids take seconds? Would I be depriving them if I stopped offering seconds? We don't get seconds at restaurants and everyone seems full. I'm just pondering.

 

I deliberately put less on my children's plates than I think they will eat. When they have eaten that, they may have more. Thirds are available only after everyone has had an opportunity to ask for seconds. If we are having fruit, it is served with the meal. We rarely have dessert.

 

Most restaurants put far more food on the plates than I would at home. Even so, my oldest frequently eats all of his meal and half of his brother's.

[Nestof3]

Same here.

 

Yeah -- did I mention we stopped by Dunkin Donuts today. ugh

 

Now I know why I only do that once a year. The guilt of it!

[OlgaLA]

I think it is better in the long run to serve smaller portions and have kids ask for seconds than to serve a lot and have them think that it is a proper portion size that needs to be eaten. The second scenario is more likely to lead to weight problems later on. But I remember how much I could eat when I was a teen, so I would absolutely let my kids have seconds if they wanted (mine are still young, and I have to fight for them to eat anything at all :) )

[fairfarmhand]

one weird phenomenon I have observed is that if I fix people's plates at the stove and we eat at the table, we are all less likely to get seconds. But if the serving dishes are at the table, people eat more of the leftover food.

 

Out of sight out of mind?

 

But yeah, if a kid wants more veggies, I love it, but limit the starches.

[Farrar]

Kids are growing; adults are not. Adults just don't need as much food.

:iagree: I think that's really important to remember. When I was teaching, some parents would send the tiniest lunches for their middle schoolers and the kids were always genuinely hungry after. The parents seemed to have no clue that kids need more food. Yes, sometimes they go through phases where they're picky or eat less or waste, but they're growing - it takes more.

 

I would add that the food at meals is generally healthy at our house and for the things that are less so (like, say, the dinner rolls) there is usually a smaller quantity anyway so once you've eaten your portion, it's gone. I would never think twice about my kids asking for seconds on the protein or the veges. They can have as much of that as there is.

[Lawana]

If you focus on the food being healthy─lots of vegetables, fruits, whole grains, I think it is safe to let appetite be the guide to consumption. If the choices lend themselves to overconsumption based on taste alone, (juices, soft drinks, processed, salty, sweet) then I would be concerned.

[Pretty in Pink]

I serve healthy meals and do not mind at all when the kids go for seconds and thirds, which is pretty much every night. None of us have weight issues; well, that's not true, because three of us are technically underweight.

[Tohru]

Letting them eat, but not forcing them to eat, is probably the biggest key to reducing or eliminating later food issues.

 

I am always so annoyed when a parent tells their child to eat one more bite or finish their plate. Sheesh. Talk about being set up for food issues later in life. If the child is full or doesn't like something, why make them eat it? They'll eat when their hungry.

 

So yes, in our house, we allow 2nds and 3rds, and late night snacks and midnight snacks. My son's friends love coming over because they get to eat when their hungry. And no, we don't have junk or processed food in the house and nobody here has weight issues.

[QueenCat]

Do your kids take seconds? Would I be depriving them if I stopped offering seconds? We don't get seconds at restaurants and everyone seems full. I'm just pondering.

 

Sometimes, they take seconds. Sometimes, not. If not, they are snacking an hour or two later. Restaurant portions are usually bigger than what we normally put on the plate at home, at least at our house.

[Nestof3]

Yes, if we have rolls or dinner bread (which isn't often), I limit the number I make. Even if I make extra, they may only have extra rolls if they eat more veggies, or I limit the younger boys to two rolls.

 

I would add that the food at meals is generally healthy at our house and for the things that are less so (like, say, the dinner rolls) there is usually a smaller quantity anyway so once you've eaten your portion, it's gone. I would never think twice about my kids asking for seconds on the protein or the veges. They can have as much of that as there is.

[ZooRho]

Well it depends on what calories your child is burning in a day.

 

For us, at the moment I can't get my youngest to eat enough in a day. So he is eating lots of pasta, rice etc, because he needs the calories, since he is on a very low fat diet.

 

We are encouraging eating the daily requirements for fruits and veggies.

[rootsnwings]

Oldest has ALWAYS been overweight. I nursed him, on demand until he started solids at 6mo. I've never forced him to eat, nor have I made a huge deal out of his enormous appetite. He's always been big (both overweight and super tall foe his age) so I've always felt his appetite was because of his growth pattern. I know I was ALWAYS a head & shoulders above my peers (who were actually a year older than me b/c I started school early)--so I was SUPER tall/big boned ;) growing up too. It really stinks because I KNOW people probably assume I feed my kids crap and let them eat like pigs but it's just not true! Some people are just born eaters/growers/big people with big appetites. I do allow my son seconds but always feel like I might be making the wrong decision. :( We have the same rules mentioned before--everything on the first serving must be eaten before any seconds are dished out and I also ask them to eat a second helping ofthe veggie along with whatever the request for seconds is. We don't eat dessert (maybe a cookie every once in a while) I don't buy soda so they drink milk or water, no juice, not even for the littles. Snacks are fruit, veggies, or healthy protein, etc. My little ones are MUCH more average growers & eat like typical toddlers which is a whole lot less stressful for me, to be honest!