ChristusG Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 I've had it up to here (visual image of me holding my hand up to the top of my head....much like a salute) with my girls bickering. They are 3 and 6....up till about 2 months ago, they got along great! Just the occasional fight. Well, now it's all the freaking time! I've tried seperating them, time outs, everything! I'm finished with it. I went to the garage, got a box, and have dubbed it the Bicker Box. If they are bickering about ANYTHING, it goes into the box. I don't care whose fault it is, whether it's not fair, whether I'm being mean....it's going in! The first thing to go into the Bicker Box were two placemats. Yes, placemats. I haven't decided what will happen to the contents of the Bicker Box yet. I'll either keep it put away for a while, or I'll give it away. Does bickering drive anyone else absolutely nutty? I can tolerate fighting here and there, but constant bickering like they are doing lately drives me crazy. What are your solutions for bickering? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmasmommy Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 My older two (9 & 7) nitpick each other constantly. It's maddening. I haven't found a solution yet but I'm all :bigear: I have to say when I read your title I was expecting to read that you put the kids together in the box until they stopped. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 I've started sending them to their rooms as soon as they start. So far today they've been in their rooms for time outs at least 12 times. I don't bother to keep count, though. We also do the "you are not allowed to speak, touch, or even think about each other" time outs. Those are fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caraway Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 Trying to figure out how this would work over here. So, if they are in the car bickering over who is looking out which window .... would I put the car in the box? Their eyeballs??? :tongue_smilie: I too am ALL DONE with bickering. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted October 13, 2010 Author Share Posted October 13, 2010 LOL, I think this only works since they usually seem to bicker over toys. If they bicker over something larger or less concrete, I'm not sure what to put into the box LOL! Hey, I could consider actually putting THEM into the box like someone mentioned. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 Trying to figure out how this would work over here. So, if they are in the car bickering over who is looking out which window .... would I put the car in the box? Their eyeballs??? :tongue_smilie: I too am ALL DONE with bickering. Them. You put them in the box. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickelfritz Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 Can I go in the box? Let them just duke it out while I hide. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abigail4476 Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 Them. You put them in the box. :lol: :hurray::hurray::hurray: I LOVE this suggestion! LOL!!!! My two older girls, ages 13 and 15, have always bickered quite a bit. My policy has always been to let them work it out unless it turns into a full-fledged fight with lots of volume and/or violence. It seems like they're gradually bickering less and less and becoming more and more friendly with one another as they get older. I think it's good for kids to learn how to resolve conflicts on their own as much as possible. I only step in when they can't work it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 I think the Bicker Box is a good idea (I have used something similar as well as a "Laying-Around-the-House-and Not-Put-Away box, also known as Toy Jail.) However, I think it needs to be done in the context of teaching them other behaviors besides bickering. Just using it as punishment isn't going to give them the tools to prevent it in the future. It may backfire and cause more bickering. I did a lot of modeling when my kids were younger. I helped them express their feelings in an appropriate way and gave them plenty of practice on how to play nicely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 Sounds great until they bicker about IMAGINARY DONUTS. Yes, lol, really. ;) For the most part my kids have always gotten along really well, for which I am immensely grateful (though it's also been something we have *worked* on along the way), but they do have relatively frequent minor squabbles. And once it was even about "He took my imaginary donuts!". Really? REALLY?!?!??!?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 This is an AMAZING idea and I am headed to the closet to find a box right now to implement this same thing in my home. Thank you! And yes, the bickering will ruin even the best of moods in this tired momma! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 My mom used to make my brother and I sit in the bathroom and write love letters to each other :p We bonded over how nuts she was :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 My mom used to make my brother and I sit in the bathroom and write love letters to each other :p We bonded over how nuts she was :lol: My mom once made my older brother and I hold hands in the middle of my gp's house during a party. We also bonded over how crazy mom was. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rwjx2khsmj Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 I always gave my kids a job they had to do together when they couldn't get along. Something easy like wiping the fronts of the kitchen cabinets or matching socks. Really something to change the focus of their attention and make them cooperate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 OMG!!! I told my oldest two that next time they got into it they would have to stand on rug in the bathroom holding hands telling each other positive things until I calmed down. Now they just seem to bicker in public. I am so going to make them hold hand and profess their love for each other right then and there. If the end result is that they bond over how crazy mom is... hey at least their making a memory together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 My mom once made my older brother and I hold hands in the middle of my gp's house during a party. We also bonded over how crazy mom was. :tongue_smilie: :lol: OMG!!! I told my oldest two that next time they got into it they would have to stand on rug in the bathroom holding hands telling each other positive things until I calmed down. Now they just seem to bicker in public. I am so going to make them hold hand and profess their love for each other right then and there. If the end result is that they bond over how crazy mom is... hey at least their making a memory together. I've considered it...... They'll bond over my craziness and why not? It worked for my mom ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kebo Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Occasionally I make my boys hug each other for 3 minutes when they are bickering. Typically they start laughing immediately and trying to figure out how to follow the letter of the law while violating the spirit. It all ends well. I don't use it too often, though, or it might lose it's magic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K&Rs Mom Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 I do this, both for bickering and for toys not picked up. It requires a good deed to earn it back. But periodically the full box gets dropped off at Goodwill - no real timeline involved, just whenever I get to it - so there's an element of "will I get it back before it's gone" involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarcyB Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Hey, I could consider actually putting THEM into the box like someone mentioned. :D I actually thought that's where you were going with that...and thought, "hmm..do I have a box big enough for the oldest?" LOL:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Mine are 9 and 5 and bicker constantly. I was telling the older one about this thread and said I was getting ideas. I laughed out loud at the imaginary donuts, so she asked me what was so funny. When I told her, she said, "Now I'm getting ideas." Like she needs to steal things to fight about with her sister! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beach Mom Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 My two boys (9 and 8) have a really good relationships, but certainly their share of bickering as well. We have a chair in our family room they have nicknamed "the unity chair", because when they argue they have to sit in it together. It is a wing chair that they can't possibly sit in without touching each other. They always start out trying not to look at one another and almost always end up giggling. It is a good solution for us. Rarely, when they are really having trouble with one another, I impose a 30 minute "you can't talk to your brother" time. By the end of the 30 minutes they are begging to speak to one another. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 My kids, who are 23 and 12, will still bicker. When they get started, I say, "Oh dry up, the both of you." I don't recommend this approach with small children, but with old ones, it's what I resort to. Really, for kids that old to be bickering is ridiculous and I have no patience with them when it gets started. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mabeline Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Sounds great until they bicker about IMAGINARY DONUTS. Yes, lol, really. ;) For the most part my kids have always gotten along really well, for which I am immensely grateful (though it's also been something we have *worked* on along the way), but they do have relatively frequent minor squabbles. And once it was even about "He took my imaginary donuts!". Really? REALLY?!?!??!?! :lol::lol: A year or two ago mine were arguing over a penny. I go to take it away and my older son says, "It's a pretend penny." :001_huh::confused: I told them to pretend another one and stop arguing.:lol::lol: OP: My solution is to punish them both when they start arguing. I have heard my ds8 wispering to his brother to stop yelling or they will both get time out. Then they try to work it out. It doesn't work perfectly but it has helped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingmommy Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 My girls are 14 and 9 and the bickering is reaching epic proportions....again. The most tried and true method I have is two-fold. First, I cut out television, which usually results in a dramatic mood improvement. They pick up so much ugliness from seemingly innocent tv shows. :( Second, I make them stick to each other like glue. They literally can't be more than three inches apart. This usually puts them in a good mood fairly quickly since they sometimes look a little silly trying to walk around like that. They almost always end up in one or the other's bedroom laughing and giggling in no time at all. :) As for the inevitable bickering during school time (she's looking at me!), I bought two tri-fold project boards (think science fair) and clipped them together. I stand them up in the center of the table so the girls can't see each other, but I can see both of them. The barricade folds up compactly till the next time I need to separate them. :) I also don't allow them any decorations on the boards. Nothing to see but plain white......... Good luck! J Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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