What is it with dh's

[kahlanne]

Just a quick vent before I demonstrate for my kids how things explode. LOL. You know how you hate when people assume that homeschoolers and their moms do practically nothing all day? Don't we all hate it! Imagine it coming from your dh. My dh called about 30 min ago wanting insurance information since he decided to refinance our house. (yes, I love the idea of refinancing but since I am not on the note, he is supposed to handle the paperwork) Miraculously, I was able to keep ds, 18months, asleep inspite of answering the phone or talking. I quietly explained to dh that I was going to lay him down in a minute and would look up the information. He asked if I could just take ds with me to look. When I said no, he said hurry because he needs it now. After a few minutes, I was able to lay ds down and search for the information. I called to give him the info and he said he needed more which would require me to go outside to the truck. When I opened the door, the dogs went nuts and up popped my 18 month old! (usually the dogs don't do this but I am still blaming dh) I got the information and knowing it was pointless to try to get son down again, I decided to school with him awake. Get started and five minutes later, dh calls again to ask me to call around insurance agencies to get quotes. I asked why he couldn't do it and his reply, "well, because I am busy working" I nearly flipped! I was able to control myself enough to just say "well I guess it is good that one of us does nothing all day and can handle everything!" I guess this bothers me because yesterday he took off work to "babysit" while I went to doctor (pregnant with #6) and eye doctor. I asked him to either straighten the house or do schoolwork which I laid out. I called him at 10:00 and he was napping. At 12, still napping. When I returned, the house was even worse off and dd had only completed two pages of work that she was able to do on her own. Our preschooler did nothing. Seems dh left our 9 yr old in charge of siblings while he rested on the sofa. UGGH!!!!!! I am not playing catchup on housework and schoolwork. Toss in that I have two older children that I drive to and from public school which interrupts our flow and it is difficult to get everything done. Anyway, you don't have to comment...more than anything this is a release of steam!

 

FWIW, dd is working on schoolwork while I type.

[Snickerdoodle]

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in

their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers

strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was

thefront door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.

 

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been

knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front

room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

 

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, break fast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

 

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel.

 

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

 

He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

 

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?"

 

"Yes," was his incredulous reply.

 

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

[Snickerdoodle]

:grouphug:

[OregonNative]

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in

their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers

strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was

thefront door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.

 

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been

knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front

room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

 

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, break fast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

 

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel.

 

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

 

He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

 

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?"

 

"Yes," was his incredulous reply.

 

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

 

This makes me laugh every time!

[Impish]

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in

their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers

strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was

thefront door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.

 

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been

knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front

room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

 

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, break fast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

 

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel.

 

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

 

He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

 

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?"

 

"Yes," was his incredulous reply.

 

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

I've had Wolf read that before.

 

And expect for the thread to be deleted...complaining about dh's isn't allowed on the board. :grouphug: to you though.

[Parrothead]

I get so annoyed with fathers who think taking care of their own children is babysitting. Uggh!

 

As for the rest. I can commiserate with you. My dh, bless his heart, is oblivious too. I've been working at it for 12 years come Sunday. His favorite response to something is "Well, I didn't know." How? How can you no know that _____. :lol:

 

Bless their hearts.

 

 

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?"

 

"Yes," was his incredulous reply.

 

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

I love that one.

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

I want to send this to DHs grandma after certain indirect comments this past visit although she does notice that my house is in a much more pleasant state than certain others'. :P lol

 

Hugs to OP!

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in

their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers

strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was

thefront door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.

 

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been

knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front

room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

 

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, break fast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

 

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel.

 

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

 

He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

 

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?"

 

"Yes," was his incredulous reply.

 

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

[kahlanne]

Snickerdoodle, I love it. I have never read this before. Made me smile. Thank you!

[kahlanne]

And expect for the thread to be deleted...complaining about dh's isn't allowed on the board. :grouphug: to you though.

 

 

Really, I didn't know you couldn't complain about dh's. I know I have seen many complaints before about other people and never stopped to realize none were dh complaints. I wonder why it isn't allowed. Btw, I am feeling much better now.

[Parrothead]

I think complaints are allowed, but bashing is definitely not allowed. But one person's complaint is another's bash so...

[kahlanne]

I think complaints are allowed, but bashing is definitely not allowed. But one person's complaint is another's bash so...

 

 

I hope this didn't come off as a bashing. I love dh and he is very supportive and even dare I say it helpful around the house. Sometimes he just drives me insane. I know he knows I have lots to do here but then when he is working, hedoesn't think about it or stop to think that my work is as important, necessary, and time consuming as his is.

[Barry Goldwater]

I think complaints are allowed, but bashing is definitely not allowed. But one person's complaint is another's bash so...

 

She MIGHT be in the clear...there's no name-calling or derogatory adjectives...and I think napping on the job is a legitimate gripe, personally.

 

Maybe suggest NOT wording the title that way?

 

HEY! here's an idea...for this kind of thread, how about using something like 'the doG' in place of DH, (teA, etc?) Then you can VENT worry-free!

 

Just trying to help!

[Parrothead]

She MIGHT be in the clear...there's no name-calling or derogatory adjectives...and I think napping on the job is a legitimate gripe, personally.

 

Maybe suggest NOT wording the title that way?

 

HEY! here's an idea...for this kind of thread, how about using something like 'the doG' in place of DH, (teA, etc?) Then you can VENT worry-free!

 

Just trying to help!

:lol: Love it.

[TXMomof4]

How funny! I was just coming here to vent about an insensitive comment by dh about my lack of "get-everything-in-the-world done while he's at workedness".

 

I have imagined what would happen if I really did nothing for an entire day. Oh what insanity that would bring! I'm just not up to recovering from it the next day. Someday I'll get the guts. Or maybe I'll go somewhere for a week and leave dh really in charge of everything. I can dream!!

[Melissa in Australia]

. Someday I'll get the guts. Or maybe I'll go somewhere for a week and leave dh really in charge of everything. I can dream!!

 

Doesn't work, I have tried it. Only one child (ds16) even attempted schoolwork. The rest just ate every scrap of food in the house and road around the neighbourhood on their bikes the whole week. Dh thought the kids do their work independently, of their own free will !:lol:

[Dawn in OH]

Dh thought the kids do their work independently, of their own free will !:lol:

 

:lol:

 

That's the kind of thing I expect to hear from people that don't have children. Anyone that has ever met a child should know better.

[RegGuheert]

 

I wonder why it isn't allowed.

I don't know the answer, but I suspect they may be concerned that the servers do not have sufficient bandwidth to handle the load! :D

[Starr]

I don't know the answer, but I suspect they may be concerned that the servers do not have sufficient bandwidth to handle the load! :D

 

:lol:

[Meriwether]

I don't know the answer, but I suspect they may be concerned that the servers do not have sufficient bandwidth to handle the load! :D

:lol::lol:

[Parrothead]

I don't know the answer, but I suspect they may be concerned that the servers do not have sufficient bandwidth to handle the load! :D

Oh, yeah. We'd have to take turns logging in so as not to continually get the "The server is busy, try again in a moment" pages. :lol:

[JudoMom]

I hope this didn't come off as a bashing. I love dh and he is very supportive and even dare I say it helpful around the house. Sometimes he just drives me insane. I know he knows I have lots to do here but then when he is working, hedoesn't think about it or stop to think that my work is as important, necessary, and time consuming as his is.

 

I try to remember that really, I've got a lot more flexibility than my dh. If I don't get the laundry done, people might have to wear dirty clothes. If dh doesn't get a project done, he might get fired. So I can make phone calls during the day, or stop what I'm doing to answer his questions. It might not be how I want to spend my time or planned to spend my time, but it makes the most sense. I know my dh values what I do, so when I'm tempted to feel disgruntled, I just remember the perks (I was able to take a 20 minute nap on the couch over lunch, for instance) of my "job". :grouphug:

[VBoulden]

:grouphug: My husband is the nicest man I know (for real) and this could have been him on any given day. :grouphug:

 

He can't do the calling at work because he's being paid to do something else... and he's honest... and he probably can't do it on the weekend because he's doing other things with you and the kids or around the house or the places are closed...

 

But, he also doesn't realize it will take the whole day for you to call six places... :glare:

 

We had the exact same fight when my hubby wanted me to call around a get the price of oil a few years ago. I did. It took all day. We got the cheapest oil.

 

Six weeks later, he wanted me to call again to make sure the prices hadn't changed. I did. It took all day. We ended up getting oil from the same place the second go around.

 

Six weeks later, he wanted me to call again to price shop. I (politely) refused... We've been using the same oil company for years now. ;) I should probably call to make sure that company still has the best prices....

 

My hubby sits on the couch when he watches the kids, too. He doesn't feed them or change them or notice that the garbage smells so bad it is coming into the living area and making it smell RANK, too... Sigh.

 

...But, he IS keeping them alive so I can sleep in or go to the store without them... so I try not to gripe. :grouphug:

 

Try to think about the good things he does, his good qualities, etc. These kinds of negative things can fester and grow from a root of bitterness to a huge tree that sucks the love right out of your marriage... It's wiser to overlook it and just sacrifice a day to make those phone calls. "A wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands." (I have to say this under my breath all day some days.)

 

You are totally right in this, but then again, so is he... since he can't do the calling either....

 

And, keep in mind, once you pick an insurance company, you probably won't change it for years and years... and you need insurance, without question.

Edited October 6, 2010 by VBoulden

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Sincere sympathy for you! I'm often in the same boat! I used to work with my dh for four years, so I know what he does all day. He will never know what I do all day, because even when I leave him with the kids for a weekend, he gets others to help him out- like his mom. He doesn't even do 1/10 of the things I do around here.

[VBoulden]

I hope this didn't come off as a bashing.

 

I could tell you were just upset. :grouphug:

 

I think husbands and wives forget how hard the other person's day is.

 

Last night, I asked my husband to take me step by step through his day yesterday. When he did, my jaw hit the floor. NOW I understood why he is sooo short with me when I call him because the home computer froze or when I want to ask a question about money... :001_smile:

 

I didn't call him at all today. I figured, whatever it was could wait. ;)

[Mimm]

I could tell you were just upset. :grouphug:

 

I think husbands and wives forget how hard the other person's day is.

 

Last night, I asked my husband to take me step by step through his day yesterday. When he did, my jaw hit the floor. NOW I understood why he is sooo short with me when I call him because the home computer froze or when I want to ask a question about money... :001_smile:

 

I didn't call him at all today. I figured, whatever it was could wait. ;)

 

I know what you mean. My husband is a programmer and I used to think that his day was pretty much spent in front of his computer typing stuff in some mysterious language. Nope. Turns out he's pretty much the go-to guy for his entire department. Any time anyone needs help with anything, they ask him. He spends more time working with someone else than he does alone. Furthermore, he has a to-do list that's pretty much a year's worth of work that he could be doing at any given time.

 

He tells me when he's too busy to talk or when he has to go suddenly and I never get offended at that. If something absolutely can't wait, I text or if he answers, I make it as brief as possible.

[VBoulden]

I know what you mean. My husband is a programmer and I used to think that his day was pretty much spent in front of his computer typing stuff in some mysterious language. Nope. Turns out he's pretty much the go-to guy for his entire department. Any time anyone needs help with anything, they ask him. He spends more time working with someone else than he does alone. Furthermore, he has a to-do list that's pretty much a year's worth of work that he could be doing at any given time.

 

 

 

This is my husband's situation exactly. :001_smile: