What do boys age 10 play DS? (long)

[linders]

Help! What do boys age 10 play when they get together?

 

We are running into a serious problem with DS10's friends. Up until last year, friends who came over were happy to play games (indoor and outdoor), explore the large yard, practice sports (we have a basketball hoop and various other sports gear), play with action figures and our racetrack, build with Legos, even do imaginative play with the ton of dress-up stuff we have (very action, boy-oriented stuff). My DS still likes all things things.

 

And now..."Can we just play your Wii?" This is from the friends, not my DS. We are very mindful of video game time and only got a system this past Christmas. Our two DS get a few hours on weekends, and that's it. I have had a policy of no video games while friends are here. Unfortunately, friends now turn down invites because it is "boring" here. Even the option of doing the Wii for a part of the time is not enough. They have absolutely no interest in any other activity for any part of the time. This isn't from one or two kids, this is literally every boy who my DS knows from every group (homeschool, church, scouts).When DS goes to others' houses, they spend every single minute playing video games. I've had to become an ogre about that, too, because it turns out that what is considered appropriate at other houses (Halo???) is not allowed here.

 

I'm at a loss. I think boys this age should be doing something more than just playing video games together. Ideas?

Edited August 5, 2010 by linders

[Laurie4b]

I allow visitors to play video games for part of the time. Our most frequent visitors have the same rules at their house only. I think that is key.

 

I think there is a fine line to walk here. On the one hand, you aren't in charge of the other children's development and playing video games is a new but normal part of the way kids socialize; on the other hand, you are wanting to help your ds keep other kinds of social skills open. I do not think this is a time to dig in your heels, just because it is your house.

 

I would talk to the other parents of the kids who visit and express your concerns in an open-ended way. If they also have concerns, perhaps you could come to an agreement as to how long they play Wii, etc. when visiting. If you secure agreement, then you've solved the problem.

 

As for other things boys do together: play with air soft guns, shoot hoops, explore in the woods, play games, play Legos or Playmobils or with action figures. If you belong to a pool, you can take them to the pool with you part of the time.

 

My sons are older (youngest is 12) and I had to learn to flex with the video games. I also had to overcome some of my prejudice. I've learned that several types of video games actually increase some types of cognitive functioning, for instance. Some Wii games help build balance and coordination. So it's not like a total waste when they play. It is part of the culture in which they are growing up and a normal part of socializing.

[SailorMom]

We also just finally got a Wii at Christmas. And I also have the same issues here with DSs' friends.

I allow the Wii for short periods - say - 30 minutes or so - but then they are supposed to go outside, go swim, play a board game, etc.

My younger DS is 12, and he is still more than happy to play with army men, explore outside, build forts, etc. I fear that most of the other kids he knows are precociously growing out of their childhoods.

We are also the house with snacks no one likes:D I've even had mom's bring me a grocery sack full of cruddy snacks because their kids won't eat fruit, crackers, granola bars, etc.:glare:

[EarleneW]

While my kids do play outside ALOT, it has been so hot this summer that video games have become a bigger part. It has just been so hot the last month or so that even going to the pool is miserable. So, I have pretty much let them play when friends are over. The girls are way more interested in crafts, but not the boys.

[Homemama2]

My ds is 8 but his group of friends range from 8-12yrs (with my 6 yr old tagging along most of the time.) I agree 100% about the video games. While this group of kids still likes to play 'war or battle' w/ toy swords or guns or whatever, and the one boy is obsessive about playing baseball....90% of the time all they want to do is play video games. We don't have any video games/DS etc so now everyone thinks our place is boring too. However we do have the best supply of nerf guns, swords etc supposedly so they will come to play that ;)

It seems sad that kids don't just want to play outdoors anymore.

[rafiki]

.

[Desert Rat]

We usually don't allow video games when kids come over to play. Or, we put restrictions on time. For instance, they play outside for the first hour then they can play DS or Wii. As they get older, I realize that kids switch away from actual playing and more into video games, etc. We do have a trampoline which is still a big attraction.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Well, my kids are only 6 and 7. Ds1 does have a DS, but only limited time to play it. We have no Wii or any other game station.

 

Ds1 had a friend from school over for a playdate (first and LAST with this kid!). They played with Pokemon cards, Legos, played outside on the swingset, etc. The whole time, though, ds kept asking if they could play Lego Star Wars on the computer (the only video game we have beside the two he has for his DS). I kept saying, "No, not while your friend is here. That is not polite."

 

Little did I know it was the friend who was plugging for the the video game. When his dad came to pick him up, he announced to all of us that it was the most boring playdate he ever had.

[KellyGirl]

Yup, all the neighborhood kids around here want to do is play our video games (or get on my computer). And we let our kids have 3 hours of screen time on the weekends. So I say "No, we don't turn that on during the week."

 

However, there is a lot of "poverty" in my neighborhood - most kids don't have a video game system, especially not a current one. So, while they are irritated that I will not let them on my Mac, my Wii, my XBox360 or my son's DS, they do usually find other things to do. I'm sure they would be here a heck of a lot more if they were able to game all day.

 

I'm not sure what I would do if it caused the other boys to stop coming over. But most likely I wouldn't change anything. The fact that those boys are unable to enjoy life "unplugged" is one of the big reasons we limit screen time (even though now we don't really have to - my kids would rather read or be outside most of the time.)

[luvnlattes]

I allow visitors to play video games for part of the time. Our most frequent visitors have the same rules at their house only. I think that is key.

 

 

 

I agree. Usually the first thing the kids want to do when they get together is play video games. I'll usually say, "O.K. you can play for 1 hour but then you'll need to turn it off and find something else to do." I don't get too much negative feedback because my kids are used to this and it seems that most of their friends have screen times limits at their house too.

 

My youngest (9.5) had a friend over yesterday. They played Wii first off for about an hour, then were shooed outside to play. They rode bikes but got too hot so then came in to do a board game. After that, back out to shoot hoops. Back in for another board game. It was a lot of in and out moving from one thing to another. After dinner they asked if they could play Wii once more so I gave them a 30 minute limit.

 

I want my kids to interact with their friends when they come over rather than stare at a screen. But to them they are interacting, just in the form of a video game. So I've decided I'll continue to limit screens when no one is over but when friends are over it's like a "special occasion" and I let it slide a bit.

 

The same isn't true for neighborhood friends, however. They're here every day so that doesn't count as a "special occasion" and the screen restrictions apply. So they have standard neigborhood things they do with these friends...big games of tag, capture the flag, air soft battles, and playing in the woods. If any of these friends spend the night though, then it's back to "special occasion" and I let the amount of screen time slide.

[cougarmom4]

I want my kids to interact with their friends when they come over rather than stare at a screen. But to them they are interacting, just in the form of a video game. So I've decided I'll continue to limit screens when no one is over but when friends are over it's like a "special occasion" and I let it slide a bit.

 

The same isn't true for neighborhood friends, however. They're here every day so that doesn't count as a "special occasion" and the screen restrictions apply. So they have standard neigborhood things they do with these friends...big games of tag, capture the flag, air soft battles, and playing in the woods.

 

:iagree:

[LibraryLover]

Well...currently, I am seeing the boys in our hs group playing Go Go Funny Bones....

 

That and Silly Bands.

 

:lol:

And pretend swords with sticks. And running around and around. Climbing trees. We live where there are lots of woods and nature; even our library has a little creek and woods behind it. They are very busy little people.

 

And Lego. And Wii. I don't have a problem with Wii...we don't have one, but one of the families in our hs group does, so when we have playgroup there, the kids play sometimes. Not the whole time, not all of them, but some of the kids like it.

 

One of the families has an inground pool (not as common here as in FL, TX, and CA), and 6 acres, and he kids love that. That family also has x box, but if it's nice none of the kids choose xbox. Maybe get a pool. ;) LOL No, wait. I'm confused. *I* want a pool

 

I don't get involved in my kids' play. That's their domain. They are pretty darn good at it, too.

Edited August 6, 2010 by LibraryLover

[FairProspects]

We have this problem too with some of ds's friends and they are only 5 y.o.s. I mean, ds hasn't even figured out how to play most games yet. It is nice to hear how the parents of older boys have handled the screen time issue and helps me to think through what our house rules might be.

[Catwoman]

Linders, I wish we lived near you -- your ds10 and my ds10 would have a great time together!!!

 

Cat

[Mom22ns]

Sorry, but they play Wii. In the summer, everyone who comes over usually goes swimming in our small backyard pool and maybe hangs out in the treehouse for a bit. They also play with the pets, ds has a ferret, dd has a guinea pig and they often have these out when friends are over. However, since ds was 10 or 11 the guys have mostly just played video games. I limit his time playing alone, but let him play with others all he wants.

[Jean in Newcastle]

We no longer allow computer or video games due to addiction issues. We've run into the "your house is boring" issue but at the same time we are not willing to let ds just go over there to play. So we invite guys to go on hikes or to go to a park with us (not a little kids playground) - something active but away from home so that we do not have this issue.

[RobinF]

Our boys know that the Wii is only on weekends and not when friends are over. So they might ask (and usually it is the 6yo) but they know what the answer will be. They tend to play board games, make elaborate set ups with army men or playmobil. They will build with Legos and will play outside either on the trampoline or play basketball, soccer, baseball or football.

[Night Elf]

I believe video games can be a very social activity. When my kids and I play games, we have so much fun together. I believe there is a HUGE difference between playing a video game alone and playing with friends. My dd18 plays Wii games with her friends. They are hilarious and their excitement is contagious. It's a happy home when everyone is laughing. :) And there are some Wii games out there that are much more physically active than playing a board game.

[linders]

I received so much great input, ranging from "let them play" to "hold you line" and everything in between. All of it was wonderful food for thought - I even made DH read your responses (and he is so not a message board person).

 

We are going to try a couple of things - adding more fun non-video stuff (Nerf and air soft guns would oikely be a hit) and some limited Wii time when friends are over. I hope we can find a good balance! And those whose DS are like mine - I so-o-o wish you lived here!!! DS10 would love some friends who think Lego building and action figures are fun! Fortunately, he has a little brother in to train:).

 

And if all else fails - how about I send them to find the rattlesnakes and copperhead that have been spotted in our backyard? (I just love our new South Carolina home...)

[Mom0012]

My son is 10, soon to be 11, and we are running into this more and more. When I send him to a friend's house, they wind up gaming the whole time and when the friends come over, they want to play his ds. I really wish I had gotten a Wii instead of the ds because at least they could play that together instead of just taking turns on the ds. I think we may get a Wii this year for Christmas.

 

Yes, I would much rather they play outside or with legos or whatever and I do try to restrict the gaming to 30 - 60 minutes, but I can see that is going to get harder and harder as he gets older. I'm not going to let him lose friends over this though.

 

I still restrict his ds time to 30 minutes a day other than when he has a friend over. In our case, we don't live on a street with other children so he usually only has a friend over once, maybe twice a week.

 

Lisa

[Nestof3]

We haven't had our boys play video games with friends yet. Our boys play: dress up (historical figures), Legos, Playmobil, spies, act out things they learn in history (like Ancient Egypt), ride bikes, jump on the pogo stick, play board games, Nerf guns, etc.

 

The one boy my boys play with the most is also homeschooled and likes playing the same things my boys like playing, so that helps a lot. We had one boy over (the younger brother of one of Aaron's friends), and he asked the entire time he was here to play the Nintendo 64 (yes, we are that far behind). It got to be so annoying. My boys went to his house once (Aaron took them), and this boy played the whole time while Nathan and Ben just watched. Ben kept asking to play, but he didn't want to give it up. I see a lot of that happen with video games, so I'd just prefer they actually play things together and leave the video game for when they are alone.

 

I wanted to add that our boys will play against one another sometimes in a racing game, and John will join in as well. I haven't seen it work very well with friends, though.