waxing philosophical

[Word Nerd]

I came across this blog post while looking for information about afterschooling, and it rubbed me the wrong way. Just to give a little background, I had to return to the workforce and enroll my daughter (age 9) in school earlier this year after homeschooling her since preschool. We do some of the same things now that we did when I homeschooled her full-time, and I still consider myself a part-time homeschooler even though I know that technically I'm not homeschooling any more.

 

I'm just curious what others think about the author's points. Essentially, she argues that homeschooling and afterschooling are nothing alike and that there's no such thing as homeschooling only during summer breaks, etc. Is it a matter of quibbling over semantics, or do you think there are significant philosophical differences between homeschooling and afterschooling?

[Heather in WI]

I thought it was extremely obnoxious. :tongue_smilie:

[easygoer]

That was strange. I mean, I respect her viewpoint as it applies to her and her family. Clearly, that's the way they identify. To insist that the way they identify themselves and their lifestyle is some kind of universal imperitive definition is...not something I would attempt, myself.

 

One of the positives of homeschooling/afterschooling in part is as way to free up time and create opportunities for a student's time. I feel as though, if what my daughter wants to be doing with that time is attend school, for any number of different reasons, then that may be a perfectly valid use of it.

 

I think it's possible to still take parental responsibility for a child's education while the child attends school. Why would it not be? In fact, many many parents feel that way whether they 'call themselves' homeschoolers or afterschoolers or unschoolers or the Joneses.

 

The Identity game that that blogger is playing just doesn't work for me. I think it has too many pitfalls.

Edited July 8, 2010 by easygoer

[easygoer]

Oh, I didn't answer your question :tongue_smilie:

 

Is it a matter of quibbling over semantics, or do you think there are significant philosophical differences between homeschooling and afterschooling?

 

I think there are significant philosophical differences between that blogger's homeschooling viewpoint and afterschooling. But not necessarily mine or someone else's.

[Bee]

I hs one child and 1 attends public school. There is a big difference in how they and I think about their educations. Older hsed dd's life revolves around hsing and learning. Younger dd's life is focused on school, the subjects she studies at home enhance and build on what she learns at school. I do consider what she does at home over the summer to be hsing but it still doesn't really count. Now, older dd's work (all of it) does count because it is what I officially report.

 

Someone once said that a kid that quit school to get his GED was hsing- sorry, no, to me it's not. Not everyone learning at home is homeschooling.

[LibrarianMom]

This blogger vastly underestimates afterschoolers. I do not consider what I do to be homeschooling, yet it is much more than simply helping my children with their homework or supplementing their education. She doesn't understand that we spend a great deal of time selecting books and curriculum to use to ensure that our children aren't doing tons of worksheets after school. As others have indicated (both here and at her blog), why should she care what we do?

[EKS]

I agree with her basic premise, that inherent in homeschooling is assuming complete responsibility for the education of one's children coupled with living outside of the norm of society. Neither of these issues are present when one afterschools.

 

Of course, true afterschoolers are doing more than helping with homework; frequently they are introducing new material and ensuring that it gets learned. Many do feel that their children's education is ultimately their responsibility. As with anything like this, there is a range of behavior, in this case from the extreme of homeschooling to afterschooling to helping with homework to providing an appropriate area for doing homework to the other extreme of complete disengagement.

[rwjx2khsmj]

I agree with her premise that homeschooling is different from afterschooling. I don't agree that afterschooling is just parenting. I think that parenting does involve teaching but afterschooling/summer schooling is more planned/intentional and purpose/output oriented.

 

I think her tone was extremely defensive and a bit over done. I don't think afterschoolers are threats to all that I hold dear about homeschool. I don't think afterschoolers are out to negate homeschooling. I think the purpose of afterschooling is admirable as is the purpose of homeschooling. To each his/her own. I am so thankful we all get to make our choices about what is best for our individual family.

 

ETA: I also wonder where she comes down on co-ops and cottage schools, online classes, etc.? I'm not interested enough to ask though.

[easygoer]

I have read it again, and I have read the replies the author has made to her comments.

 

At first I was just amazed at the fervor with which she wants to insist over and over in capital letters that afterschoolers are NOT homeschooling and should NOT dare to suggest they might relate to 'homeschoolers' or feel like 'homeschoolers' etc. etc. It really took me aback.

 

Then I found a point of commonality with the author. And it made a lot more sense.

 

I'm a single mom. I'm one of many single moms (but not all, by any stretch) who really doesn't like hearing a married woman say "my husband is out of town, I'm a single mom for the weekend" or "he's been working so much I feel like a single mom." I've discussed this many times with other single moms...some of us, it's like it makes us uncomfortable. And I could literally almost replace a few words in that blog post with substitutes and basically write the exact same thing. I won't do it here, but it'd be amazingly similar about how being single isn't really anything like having a husband who travels or works, other people's reaction to you is one of the differences, 24/7, etc. etc. etc.

 

But the reason I'm posting this here is again to address the original question...that I feel like that is about me. It's about the way that I feel about my family. This blog projects it onto the others and diagnoses how they are feeling ("they wish they could...") and where they are confused or off base, (and goes even further to claim to predict how their children will be feeling, too) which for me would be very misguided.

 

So again I say, IMHO really says little about universal philosophical differences.

Edited July 9, 2010 by easygoer

[In2why]

I think the biggest point to jump out at me is that we as parents are responsible for our children's education as part of being a good parent and if we are afterschooling that is good parenting but it should be what is expected and not an entire catagory. I afterschool one child and homeschool one child. The process is like comparing apples to oranges. Even here in this forum there are different boards for each. If afterschooling was homeschooling there wouldn't be a need.

[MBM]

I haven't read the linked blog but am curious how many of you have heard the word afterschooling outside of the WTM boards? I haven't, and IRL, when I speak with other parents about what we do, I call it supplementing.

[Hunter's Moon]

I am not a parent but I found something interesting about what she said. She gave the definition for homeschooling to mean the child learned at home instead of in school.

 

Well, if afterschooling had the same exact definition, then it would be homeschooling. Just because afterschooling doesn't have the same exact definition (because that wouldn't make it afterschooling, it would be homeschooling), it doesn't mean that afterschooling is completely different than homeschooling.

 

I was never afterschooled when I was in PS. I was parented, but I was never afterschooled. I was helped with homework but was never afterschooled. I was never given a lesson by my mother or introduced to a new subject by my mother. THAT is afterschooling, and to me, that is quite similar to homeschooling.

 

I hope my post made some sense.

 

P.S. I value her opinion, because it is just that, an opinion. BUT she did not have to be that brazen about it. She came off a bit snobby, IMO. At one point, it sounded a bit like teasing when she said something along the lines of they wish they were homeschoolers (I can't find the quote).

[LimitBreak]

I would actually have to thank her for that post because I never knew that there were homeschoolers who felt that way. I will never refer to myself as a "Part-Time Homeschooler" again. I don't even want to call myself an "After Schooler".

 

I think I will start calling myself an "Intercrossed Schooler" or something like that because I am an amalgam of both Homeschooling & Public Schooling.

 

Those "Homeschoolers" don't know what we "Intercrossed, DiHybrid, Blended, Crossbred" go through!!!!

 

I considered myself a part-time homeschooler because imo, my lifestyle is sooooooo much more different than other homeschoolers.

 

So different. Seriously. Those full-time homeschoolers will never understand.

[easygoer]

I haven't read the linked blog but am curious how many of you have heard the word afterschooling outside of the WTM boards?

 

I think SWB in The Well Trained Mind was the first place I read the term, but I'm pretty sure I've heard it other places. I think, anyway.

 

I am not a parent but I found something interesting about what she said. She gave the definition for homeschooling to mean the child learned at home instead of in school.

 

 

I actually looked and the dictionary.com definition quoted says "instead of" but Merriam Webster says:

 

intransitive verb : to teach school subjects to one's children at home

transitive verb : to teach (one's children) at home

 

and thefreedictionary.com says:

v.tr. To instruct (a pupil, for example) in an educational program outside of established schools, especially in the home.

v.intr. To provide educational instruction in a homeschool.

n. A school operated outside established educational institutions, especially in a home.

 

 

The only one that includes the strict exclusive qualification is the one picked.

 

To deal with the semantics, it really seems to suggest the question: why isn't intentional teaching at home 'home-schooling'? I believe I understand the blogger's answer (because Homeschooling is a lifestyle, a culture, an experience beyond being taught a subject or subjects at home.) But again, that's one way to look at it.

 

In the end, the whole discussion reminds me of the cringe-worthy debates I've read where people try to determine if a child who spends part of the day in a child care center is or isn't being "raised" by his parents. Really, most of the exact same arguments could be made. (And, unfortunate to my mind, they actually are.) Or, is a non-custodial parent really "parenting" because, after all, he isn't doing the same amount of work as or the world perceives him different from, say, a SAHM. This is ugly territory to me. And these things can't be measured with a timesheet.

 

Philosophically, to me, both parenting and educating are much harder to pin down although I agree with her that responsibility for the end result is the probably the most salient part of both.

[Caroline]

I don't think what I do with my children is homeschooling. I created an educational environment at home that goes far beyond help with homework. But my kids do go to school and learn a lot there, and I don't want to minimize what a great experience that is, too. I also think that the outcome of what I am doing can be just as wonderful as homeschooling, even though it will be different.

[Word Nerd]

I've really appreciated reading your responses and seeing the different perspectives. I never liked the term homeschooling when I was homeschooling because it wasn't an accurate description of what we were doing, so it's ironic that I've been calling myself a part-time homeschooler. Maybe I'm clinging to the thought of myself as a part-time homeschooler because I'm not ready to let go of being a homeschooling mom. I am still making every effort to maintain that lifestyle of learning even though it has a different shape now. In any case, I think I will just avoid labeling myself if possible and focus on the big picture, which is being directly involved in my children's education and guiding them.

[Word Nerd]

I think SWB in The Well Trained Mind was the first place I read the term, but I'm pretty sure I've heard it other places. I think, anyway.

 

 

 

I actually looked and the dictionary.com definition quoted says "instead of" but Merriam Webster says:

 

and thefreedictionary.com says:

The only one that includes the strict exclusive qualification is the one picked.

 

To deal with the semantics, it really seems to suggest the question: why isn't intentional teaching at home 'home-schooling'? I believe I understand the blogger's answer (because Homeschooling is a lifestyle, a culture, an experience beyond being taught a subject or subjects at home.) But again, that's one way to look at it.

 

In the end, the whole discussion reminds me of the cringe-worthy debates I've read where people try to determine if a child who spends part of the day in a child care center is or isn't being "raised" by his parents. Really, most of the exact same arguments could be made. (And, unfortunate to my mind, they actually are.) Or, is a non-custodial parent really "parenting" because, after all, he isn't doing the same amount of work as or the world perceives him different from, say, a SAHM. This is ugly territory to me. And these things can't be measured with a timesheet.

 

Philosophically, to me, both parenting and educating are much harder to pin down although I agree with her that responsibility for the end result is the probably the most salient part of both.

 

I can relate so much to this, as I'm also a stepmom. I'm a parent to my stepson, but not in the same way that his mom and dad are or that I am to my daughters.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

This blogger vastly underestimates afterschoolers. I do not consider what I do to be homeschooling, yet it is much more than simply helping my children with their homework or supplementing their education. She doesn't understand that we spend a great deal of time selecting books and curriculum to use to ensure that our children aren't doing tons of worksheets after school. As others have indicated (both here and at her blog), why should she care what we do?

 

:iagree:

[Capt_Uhura]

The term afterschooler is used outside of this board. There is an entire board dedicated to afterschoolers at yuku.com. Here's the link http://afterschoolers.yuku.com/. A number of us are now HSers though so we have a section for HSers as well so the board has gone quiet as it normally does in the summer time.

 

Capt_Uhura

[LibraryLover]

That seems unnecessarily provocative and devisive, not to mention unhelpful. What's the point of such harsh words towards those who are simply trying to do the best they can for their families in a way that works for their situation. Maybe she was hoping to increase her blog traffic? I mean, I clicked it on. I never would have stumbled across it on my own.

Edited July 16, 2010 by LibraryLover

[rlowetx]

As a parent who HOMESCHOOLS, but is about to send her child to private school and will continue to AFTERSCHOOL, I doth think the woman protests too much.

 

Now, her two friends who say they afterschool are not homeschoolers because they may only do homework may be an improper use of the term afterschooling...I don't know. I use of a lot of words with the perceived meaning instead of the actual meaning. But honestly, who am I to judge?

 

Although I won't be a technical homeschooler next year, all I learned - through WTM and spending such an amazing time with my son, I will continue to use to keep up his studies - go into depth on subjects he's studying, introduce new ideas, and basically continue to stay on top of what he is learning (I don't agree that if you send your kids to school that it is entirely up to the school to teach them). Most important, I will continue to advocate for homeschooling. In the end, don't we need to have more supporters and less distractors? Moving to MA from TX I realize more how important standing together is - it would be a shame to push supporters away because we don't think they are "living the lifestyle". And please,.. do you know how many types of homeschooling lifestyles there are? We all know of cases where they say they are homeschooling, but they aren't...

 

All in all, I'm getting too old to judge people.

[Just Robyn]

Well, I think that post was terribly annoying and some of the things said were just plain mean and generally incorrect. I do however tend to believe that afterschooling is not homeschooling for a couple of the reasons she mentioned: the responsibility, and the incessant ignorant remarks from EVERYONE (or so it feels at times). I suppose afterschoolers suffer their own version of ignorant comments from strangers though, so maybe that is my own ignorance about what it's like to afterschool that's coming through.

[Windmilldreamer]

I can understand why she wants to make the point that what she is doing is different, and she has some valid issues.

 

On the other hand, as I sent my kids back to school, the only way I could do that was with the realization that I was still one of my children's teachers. We had our reasons for not going the homeschool route. And yes, I called myself a part time homeschooler, at least in my mind. I can understand her reasons for rejecting the term. But I think that my reasons for adopting it were equally valid.

 

It's a wonderful thing to be able to be off the school grid completely. But it does not work for everyone all of the time.

[Robin in DFW]

it is her blog and I suppose she's free to say whatever she wants.

 

To the poster who said "homeschoolers have no idea what we afterschoolers go through" (or something like that)...don't assume...

 

I've had kids in ps in the past and now we homeschool exclusively and have for about 6 years. I have a rising senior and rising 8th grader.

 

When my kids were in school, we did plenty of extra "schooling" with them. It took a lot of time and energy. Every evening was spent working with them...going above and beyond what they were doing in class.

 

BUT, it in no way compares to what full-time homeschoolers go through. Having btdt on both sides, I can honestly say homeschooling is beyond what many people could even imagine.

[2cents]

Personally, while I think there are differences between afterschooling and homeschooling I also think that the blogger was insensitive. I honestly could not even finish reading her blog because it reminded me of a few 'rabid' homeschoolers that I've run across that were rather full of themselves. Her blog entry devoted to validating her definition of homeschool makes me wonder if there is an element of over-justification going on. A tad insecure perhaps? That said, I may have to try her brownie recipe since having to read her long-winded obnoxious blog gave me a headache. :glare:

[LibraryLover]

*Love* your blog. You have a beautiful family!

 

There are many paths in this life, and it looks to me that you have a clear head and a loving heart.

 

It will be ok, no matter what you choose.

 

 

The blog post really hurt me the moment I read it. I spent this week struggling with whether or not we would put my daughter in an afternoon kindergarten class since I've planned to homeschool her exclusively since birth. You can read my blog post about my struggle and our decision here.

 

It saddens me that we can't as parents, especially homeschooling parents, be respectful to each other as we each struggle to choose what's best for our children.

 

I understand some of her points, but it could have been written in a much kinder fashion.

Edited July 30, 2010 by LibraryLover

[Sahamamama]

Her tone was a bit over the top, but I agree with her viewpoint.

 

I agree with the poster who made the analogy to being a single mom -- there is a stigma to that, a reality to that circumstance which can not be completely understood by married people (unless they lived through it, too). ;) When I was single (not a parent, just single), happily married women used to say, "Oh, just let Jesus be your husband." :banghead: And I wanted to SCREAM. I wanted to say, "When he walks through the door and takes out the trash, THEN Jesus will be my 'husband.'" What a load of crock. :tongue_smilie:I saw it for what it was -- a complete load of crock, and asked Jesus to give me an actual, real, flesh-and-blood husband (and He did). :D But it stayed in my mind that we are so prone to thinking that we DO understand another person's situation, and that our trite bits of advice are not only welcome, but helpful. Not always so.

 

Back to the blog: The main point on which I agreed with the blog author was in how she pointed out the difference in the life of the child. Here's a quote pertaining to children who are solely home-educated:

 

Their lives are completely different than a traditionally educated child. A homeschooled child knows that their lives are very, very different than a public/private schooled child. If you ask a homeschooler where they go to school they will say, "I AM homeschooled."

:iagree:This is true. I've never seen a child get a negative reaction from saying, "Oh, I go to Roosevelt Elementary." BUT a homeschooled child (not to mention the parent) will quickly learn that there are, at best, mixed responses to, "Oh, I am homeschooled." Many people -- even complete strangers at Walmart -- will openly slam that choice. Who EVER says, "How can you even THINK of going to Roosevelt Elementary?"

 

My home-educated daughter is only 5 years old, and has already heard the whole range of responses to "I am homeschooled." Her 9, 13, and 15 year old publicly-schooled cousins have NEVER had to deal with this. Just think, a child three times her age has never heard a negative response to his parents' educational choice -- which, by the way is NOT a good school system -- while a mere FIVE year old has to put up with comments about her parents' educational choice. And people will pronounce their verdicts directly to the child, no matter how hard her parents work -- no matter how hard SHE herself works -- to make this education excellent. I don't see the general public undermining public schooling or private schooling in the same way that they seem to sometimes undermine home schooling.

 

The AFTERschooled child (or parent) can avoid all this uncomfortable scrutiny and criticism. If you afterschool, do you say, "Oh, we go to Roosevelt Elementary AND we after school and homeschool in the summer?"

 

Or do you give the least "offensive" answer, and simply say, "Oh, we go to Roosevelt Elementary?" This is true, of course. ;) But it doesn't put you out there on that limb, does it?

 

The homeschooled child or parent has no public or private school "name" to hide behind.

 

Yes, it's different.

[Surlygirlie]

It's a wonderful thing to be able to be off the school grid completely. But it does not work for everyone all of the time.

 

 

This is all too true.

 

I thought I would be homeschooling until high school and in three weeks my two are going to be attending traditional school for the first time. *SOB*

 

Seven years ago--when we were first starting out--I probably would've pumped my fist right along with her. But along the way, things change and while my kids have gone through the inquisition from strangers regarding being homeschooled, I've stopped feeling threatened by others' choices and labels and concentrated on being okay with mine.

 

Maybe the author of the blog should consider doing the same. I mean, why so angry? *shrugs*

[MBM]

I'm sorry for what some of you have had to endure. I witnessed an elderly man give a woman the third degree at a restaurant because he thought she was homeschooling. She wasn't. Her son had a doctor's appointment, and they had stopped in for a bite to eat. Sheesh! Plenty of Nosey Nellies out there, eh? You have my empathy.

 

I'd agree that homeschooling and afterschooling are different in many ways. Both have their unique problems.

[Robin in DFW]

because their child goes to ps all day and then afterschools, too???

 

I doubt it.

 

Does anyone have family or complete strangers that comment on your choice to afterschool?

 

I doubt it.

 

You probably get tons of "great job", "what dedication", "what a great parent you are to devote so much time to your child"---we full-time homeschoolers have had to deal with much ridicule, finger-pointing and just plain rudeness.

 

Once you have homeschooled exclusively, then feel free to air your grievances against the blogger in question.

 

My guess is, she's probably had her fair share of attacks BECAUSE she homeschools...possibly from those ps'ers and afterschoolers...maybe if homeschoolers had not had to deal with the bullying FOREVER from others, we wouldn't be so defensive about the choice we've made.

 

Maybe if WE homeschoolers could be accepted we would also be more accepting...it's hard to play fair when you are the only one willing to do so.

[Surlygirlie]

 

You probably get tons of "great job", "what dedication", "what a great parent you are to devote so much time to your child"---we full-time homeschoolers have had to deal with much ridicule, finger-pointing and just plain rudeness.

 

Once you have homeschooled exclusively, then feel free to air your grievances against the blogger in question.

 

Which is what I thought I was doing. I HAVE homeschooled exclusively until this coming August 18th. So I felt like I could see where she was coming from. My kids have endured all the nosiness, the random quizzing and so on. We've lived it and I still say I "get" what she's saying, but I think she's too heavy on the vehemence. Finger-pointing, labelling and what-not are never positives regardless of the situation.

 

My guess is, she's probably had her fair share of attacks BECAUSE she homeschools...possibly from those ps'ers and afterschoolers...maybe if homeschoolers had not had to deal with the bullying FOREVER from others, we wouldn't be so defensive about the choice we've made.

 

Maybe if WE homeschoolers could be accepted we would also be more accepting...it's hard to play fair when you are the only one willing to do so.

 

That's true. It's hard. But what isn't? I'd rather be positive in what I'm choosing to do, than feel an angry need to delineate what is/isn't homeschooling to validate my choice all the more. That's what I feel like she is doing. Again, IMHO.

[ccmom]

That seems unnecessarily provocative and devisive, not to mention unhelpful. What's the point of such harsh words towards those who are simply trying to do the best they can for their families in a way that works for their situation. Maybe she was hoping to increase her blog traffic? I mean, I clicked it on. I never would have stumbled across it on my own.

 

:iagree:

[MBM]

because their child goes to ps all day and then afterschools, too???

 

I doubt it.

 

Does anyone have family or complete strangers that comment on your choice to afterschool?

 

I doubt it.

 

You probably get tons of "great job", "what dedication", "what a great parent you are to devote so much time to your child"---we full-time homeschoolers have had to deal with much ridicule, finger-pointing and just plain rudeness.

 

Once you have homeschooled exclusively, then feel free to air your grievances against the blogger in question.

 

My guess is, she's probably had her fair share of attacks BECAUSE she homeschools...possibly from those ps'ers and afterschoolers...maybe if homeschoolers had not had to deal with the bullying FOREVER from others, we wouldn't be so defensive about the choice we've made.

 

Maybe if WE homeschoolers could be accepted we would also be more accepting...it's hard to play fair when you are the only one willing to do so.

 

Some might be airing their grievances but not ALL of us.

 

And on this board, those who send their children to *prisons* or *brick-and-mortar institutions* are sometimes labeled as

 

...people who don't love their children

...ignorant of what is the right thing to do

...unaware of the dangers lurking in school

...etc.

 

Yeah, we hear the nasty comments, too. On this board. By people who are unfairly maligned. The silence on this board when those types of comments are posted to us is deafening.

[ccmom]

I have encountered all too many nosy people who make assumptions and disapprove of my homeschooling without even knowing or taking the time to get to know or understand me or my kids. There was a time when I would say nothing, but now I have no trouble putting people in their place.

 

My local homeschooling community has been extremely negative for us, mainly because most of the moms act like they are still in high school. Gossip and nastiness seems to thrive in my city's local homeschool groups. Since we live in a small town, our homeschool-oriented social choices are very limited. I decided several years ago to cut ourselves off from the homeschooling community altogether. I chose to stay far away from these groups because the negativity had worn us down and I didn't want my kids to suffer anymore.

 

Since then, we have healed from the horrible homeschool group experiences. I realize, in retrospect, that there is no need to "identify" ourselves (my family) as homeschoolers. In trying to fit in with certain "support" groups, we were trying to define ourselves to fit within a certain "homeschooling" category, something that seems to be inherently necessary to fit in with any particular group.

 

Ultimately, my husband and I are parents doing the best we can to raise our children and provide them the best education that is possible, within our financial means. That is why we homeschool. I don't care if others homeschool or how they homeschool if they do. I care about meeting quality people and hope my kids can make quality friends, regardless of what school they attend. By widening our reach beyond the homeschooling community, we have met some great people and my kids have finally made some very nice friends.

 

Everyone is different. The blogger did not speak for my husband and me, even though we homeschool exclusively. There are some of us who do not feel the need to be labeled as *pure* homeschooler. We are just parents wanting the best for our children.

 

Sorry for rambling! I didn't mean to make this so long.

[Robin in DFW]

I have btdt...I have 3 kids...1 is in college (attended ps exclusively), the other 2 are homeschooled...now...they both previously attended ps.

 

I'm just trying to share experiences with those that have not been on both sides.

 

When my kids were in ps, there was never a negative word uttered from anyone.

 

When we began homeschooling, I heard it all, whether I wanted to hear it or not...from friends (or so I thought), family, strangers...you name it...

 

Anyway, I do not ever come to this board, but for some reason I came across this thread...some of the comments just rubbed me the wrong way I guess.

 

I do agree that the blogger in question comes across a bit harsh...but, hey, it's her blog, her opinion, and she can be as harsh as she wants to, I suppose.

 

Not all homeschoolers speak of ps as being a wretched place. I have, however, been on both sides and have seen the awful side of ps AND the not so pleasant side of homeschooling. I'll take the homeschooling side.

 

I guess I just don't appreciate it when people who have NEVER homeschooled full time and TRULY LIVED IT make condescending comments about how we don't know how hard it is for them having kids in ps and conducting afterschooling with those children. SOME OF US HAVE BEEN THERE AND DO KNOW :D.

 

The same holds true for those have NEVER had kids in ps and speak about and make commentary on something they know nothing about...like the blogger in question...

 

I would LOVE it if there was not a divide between homeschoolers and public schoolers...but, alas, there is and probably always will be. It takes more than the just the homeschooled side to make the effort. The teachers and administrators (not all, but many) have to stop being intimidated by us and trying to discredit us at every opportunity and the parents of ps'd kids have to stop having the idea that our homeschooled kids are messed up, socially inept, and will never amount to anything.

 

As with so many issues, there is more than one side to the story...

Edited July 30, 2010 by Robin in DFW

[AnneGabe]

b

Edited September 6, 2023 by AnneGabe
privacy

[Robin in DFW]

Hmm, I homeschool my kids and really didn't enjoy that post.

 

I don't want to be negative in response but I'm feeling pretty darn moody after reading. Not because of her ideas but because of how she presented them.

 

I think the way she responded in her comments section made it even worse for me. She seems like a very rude and judgemental person.

 

I get that sometimes we respond in rude and judgemental ways when we've been treated rudely and judged wrongfully, but it doesn't do any good to respond in kind.

 

A little compassion and love go a long way and her post and responses were 100% lacking both :(

 

...but, whether we like it or not, it is her blog...she's free to say what she wants...

 

Just for the record...I have never responded rudely to anyone who has made comments about our homeschooling...I just usually chalk it up to ignorance on the topic and move on...

 

I'm afraid my posts above have not conveyed my thoughts very well...

 

I don't agree with all the things the blogger ranted about...some are spot on...some are way off base...her responses to people commenting on her blog were ill-mannered...but, again, we don't know her full history...

 

I'm not defending her rudeness...she definitely could have been a bit more...ummm...tactful.

[easygoer]

It feels as though 'homeschooler' is now being defined as "someone who is criticized harshly by many for their educational choices."

 

That's accurate in many (but not all) cases, in my experience, but certainly not the definition of what it means to school someone at home.

 

(In my circle, I'm looked at askance for considering public school, I telling the truth.)

 

I guess I just don't appreciate it when people who have NEVER homeschooled full time and TRULY LIVED IT make condescending comments about how we don't know how hard it is for them having kids in ps and conducting afterschooling with those children. SOME OF US HAVE BEEN THERE AND DO KNOW :D.

 

 

I personally read that to be tongue in cheek, but I didn't write it so I don't want to speak for another poster.

[gandpsmommy]

*Love* your blog. You have a beautiful family!

 

There are many paths in this life, and it looks to me that you have a clear head and a loving heart.

 

It will be ok, no matter what you choose.

 

I concur. I think the Montessori school sounds like an ideal opportunity. I found the blog post referenced in this thread condescending and irrelevant.

[AnneGabe]

b

Edited September 6, 2023 by AnneGabe
privacy

[Robin in DFW]

come off the wrong way. And I don't mean to. :001_smile:

 

I think everyone agrees the blogger was harsh...so...afterschoolers and homeschoolers...AGREE!!! :lol:

 

Just so you know, I tend to take the attitude of "to each his own". I don't care how or what everyone else is doing, that's their business, just don't push it off on me. Likewise, I don't expect ANYONE to think or do things the way I do...live and let live...

 

Have a fantabulous weekend "schoolers all".

[AnneGabe]

Just so you know, I tend to take the attitude of "to each his own". I don't care how or what everyone else is doing, that's their business, just don't push it off on me. Likewise, I don't expect ANYONE to think or do things the way I do...live and let live...

 

I really couldn't agree more!

[Homemama2]

Her blog entry devoted to validating her definition of homeschool makes me wonder if there is an element of over-justification going on. A tad insecure perhaps? That said, I may have to try her brownie recipe since having to read her long-winded obnoxious blog gave me a headache. :glare:

 

 

:iagree:

 

 

As a homeschooler, I guess I didn't really get her point (except the point she was irritated). I mean obviously it's not the SAME EXACT THING. Just like summer school isn't the EXACT same as regular school. However, afterschooling is NOT just typical parenting, IMO, either. It is going above and beyond 'homework help', and giving your child an education they would NOT be getting otherwise. And if someone is afterschooling and calls themself a homeschooler, who really cares? :confused: Geesh!

[mcconnellboys]

Well, her family obviously has adopted a learning lifestyle and so she feels that those who are just doing some subject work here and there aren't really, truly "homeschoolers". She might be surprised to find that tons of homeschoolers may not really have adopted a learning lifestyle, either.....

[Word Nerd]

FWIW, I was not once ever strung up by my toes as a homeschooler. That's only my personal experience, of course, but honestly, "good for you" was the most common response other than " I could never do that." Especially because I have been on both sides and have been a gen-u-wine homeschooler instead of just a wannabe (to paraphrase the blog post--or at least my impression of it), I don't have any patience for us-versus-them attitudes.

 

In any case, I am going to think of another term to describe what we do, even if it's just for our family's use. Or maybe I'll focus on the doing and not get caught up in what to call it!

Edited August 1, 2010 by WordGirl

[Word Nerd]

Ugh! I just read a couple of her follow-up comments, and now I regret ever sending her blog more traffic in this post.

[easygoer]

Ugh! I just read a couple of her follow-up comments, and now I regret ever sending her blog more traffic in this post.

 

There is so, so much irony in the fact that one of the main distinctions (maybe the one emphasized the most both in her blog and the ensuing discussion) the author is making is that afterschoolers can't relate because they aren't subject to the same harsh judgment, criticism and attacks on their choices that homeschoolers endue.

 

Then she lambastes the last commenter with you "are doing IRREPARABLE HARM to your poor child by afterschooling him" (and lumps in all afterschooling as harmful, just for good measure.)

 

Wow.

[Caroline]

Never mind.

Edited August 2, 2010 by Caroline

[easygoer]

I have gotten 'strung up' for both, truth be told.

 

[upon learning DD will attend ps] "Oh ... Really?? ... Um. Wow."

 

And [upon learning my ps-educated kid sings latin songs at home, or is blasting her way through RishgtStart B 10-minutes at a sitting, etc. etc] endless variations on eyerolls and "your pushing her" "you're trying to make her into a genius" "you're an idiot (not really, but pretty much)" basically what the blogger said just not that judgmental, antagonistic or arrogant.

 

Also, since this thread was posted on this board you can find questions (that I am not picking on in any way, really) that have analogues in the homeschool experience.

 

"Do you ever feel like you are pushing your kid too hard?" Sounds like "do you ever feel like your kid will be unprepared for college/a career?" doesn't it? [if I thought that, would I make this choice?]

 

"Don't your kids hate having to do school twice?" Sounds a lot like "don't your kids hate having no friends?" [Well, the premise of your question isn't very accurate. And, no.]

 

Innocuous questions, in and of themselves, that sort of have their own message nonetheless.

 

I think perhaps the blogger and others might be surprised at the commonalities of the experience (and yes, even possibly the commonalities of the philosophies.) You never know.

Edited August 2, 2010 by easygoer

[Shay]

Just read that blog:tongue_smilie:. There isn't much else to add here, really, but I did want to say a few things.

 

First, as an afterschooler for 9 years now (wow!), I've never once thought I was "homeschooling" after school, nor would I ever tell a hs parent I was doing so. I can see how that would smack them the wrong way.

 

Actually, I never refer to myself as an "afterschooler" anywhere other than on this board. I have always been quite aware that this is very different and that I have no idea what it is really like to homeschool.

 

I agree that as'ing is different than just being a good parent and helping with homework. For me, it is a deliberate attempt to fill in holes that the school can't/won't fill~ and to avoid problems early on.

 

One of my best friends is a homeschooler and we appreciate each other and don't question each other's choices. Our kids benefit from each other, and with the exception of where they are schooled, they are being raised similarly. The blogger opens the whole tirade by saying "my friend told me recently........" That is not friendship. If my hs'ing friend felt like that lady does about me, I'd honestly be so hurt.

 

And yes, children *do* get ridiculed for going to "Roosevelt Elementary," as people here in my area are very concerned with "which" school you attend. Some are embarrassed to say they attend "X" school.