Embarassing homeschoolers...

[chiguirre]

Ds, dd and I attended cub scout Twilight Camp this week and had a blast. The only down side was the home school pack that had 4 kids in our camp den. Wow! I've never really noticed hsers being more poorly behaved than school kids before, but these kids really did stand out. They talk out of turn, they wander off, they won't stay in line, they lose their stuff, etc. Of the 4 packs represented in our group, this pack won hands-down for worst behaved. The only thing I can say in defense of these kids is that they didn't have an adult from their home den who knows them well.

 

But, that just opens the can of worms of the lack of involvement of the hs pack's parents. Our (Catholic school-chartered) pack sent very few kids without their parent. In our den, 3 adults accompanied the Bears while 2 moms of Bears were walking with their Tigers, but were on site, so every Bear at camp had a parent at camp. In the hs pack, 1 mom was walking a Tiger while 3 kids were drop and runs. The other two ps packs who were part of our camp den sent a volunteer with 3 kids each (although one was only part time, but still, someone took the time to come even if she didn't take vacation time from her job). I really resent hsers being put in such a bad light by the unruly behavior of these kids and the lack of involvement of their parents.

 

ETA: This is just a rant, the camp's over and hopefully they'll require volunteers from every participating pack next year.

Edited June 25, 2010 by chiguirre

[nono]

I guess I'm not clear on your embarassment. Are you embarassed by them or embarassed for the children?

 

How others behave, even if they could be "grouped" as similar to me, has no bearing on me, if I'm actually not of that group. I may feel embarassed on their behalf, but I don't take on their behavior as a reflection of me.

[Oney Jones]

Honestly, the same could be said for any pack at any given time. It just so happens that this particular group was all homeschooled. Right? :confused:

[Jean in Newcastle]

That is due to parenting method, not educational method (and yes, I know they get blended when homeschooling, but still . . .)

[abbeyej]

I do hate it when I feel like other home schoolers are giving us (as a group) a bad name. I've actually known organizations that suspended *all* home school field trips after bad experiences (children who wouldn't follow staff instructions regarding basic safety and preservation of the facility; parents who wouldn't back up staff instructions; lots of "those rules aren't for me" behavior)... And that's really unfortunate for all of us.

 

*Most* of the home schooled kids I know are well-behaved. Some of 'em may lack line-standing practice ;), but generally speaking good kids. The same is true for our public school friends (although they generally have plenty of practice queueing up). ... *But* the few home schooled hellions I know and the few parents who really *don't* discipline their kids or require socially acceptable behavior in public... They're the ones that stand out. And they're the ones that really tarnish the image of the "home schooler" for the rest of us. And it irks me.

[MorganClassicalPrep]

*But* the few home schooled hellions I know and the few parents who really *don't* discipline their kids or require socially acceptable behavior in public... They're the ones that stand out. And they're the ones that really tarnish the image of the "home schooler" for the rest of us. And it irks me.

 

It bothers me too. When a public school child acts up (or does drugs at 12, or gets pregnant at 15...) no one says "Look at what happens to children from public school!" But when a homeschool child isn't absolutely perfect, it becomes the stereotype, because OBVIOUSLY they aren't socialized.... -sigh-

[Caraway]

I avoid the local homeschool kids because they are SO poorly behaved. We took a cooking class with them ONCE. I ended up staying after with my kiddos to apologize and help the instructor clean up.

[4besitos]

It is unfortunate that the unruly children were "the homeschool kids" because it does tend to stick in peoples minds. Our field trip groups have very strict rules about behavior because of this tendency to quickly label hsers as bad news if even only a couple of children are being unruly. Of course, the museums, plays, etc. don't ban public school field trips for unruly public school children. :tongue_smilie: I'm not sure why that is.

[Caroline]

It is unfortunate that the unruly children were "the homeschool kids" because it does tend to stick in peoples minds. Our field trip groups have very strict rules about behavior because of this tendency to quickly label hsers as bad news if even only a couple of children are being unruly. Of course, the museums, plays, etc. don't ban public school field trips for unruly public school children. :tongue_smilie: I'm not sure why that is.

 

They will ban a specific school, though.

[Starr]

Our kids were in a community theater production with quite a few home schooled kids. In some ways they really weren't well behaved. They were independent and didn't heard(as in a group) or listen very well. Part of this was the particular kids and part that they just didn't know how to stand in line and whisper while looking angelic. I have not always found home schooled children to be the most well behaved or kindest if their parents aren't around.

 

It's always hard if there isn't someone around that knows the children. I'm surprised the little ones parents sent them.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I think that some families think that by keeping their kids home that they will automatically (or perhaps magically?) learn good manners, will be good siblings and good participants in group events. Now, I don't think it needs 365 days in a classroom to learn to raise your hand, wait your turn and take care of your belongings but it does take some instruction.

[Sparkle]

Maybe I've just been really fortunate, but I've only encountered one or two homeschooling families with poorly behaved children. Almost all the hs families I know have very well behaved kids. Even the kids at my church, whom I like and are decent kids, have a lot more behavior problems than the homeschoolers I know. I do think parental or teacher involvement and supervision though is a must for young kids though when they're in a public situation like a field trip.

[....]

We're in a cub scouts pack and we are the ONLY homeschoolers... :glare: Those boys are absolute lunatics too. I think it's just the Boy Thing.

 

On the other hand, we've had to distance ourselves from our homeschool group several times :tongue_smilie: because the kids would get out of control.

 

I think maybe just kids in general have a lot less discipline than...say, 50 years ago. :confused: I dunno know.

[Oney Jones]

I think maybe just kids in general have a lot less discipline than...say, 50 years ago. :confused: I dunno know.

 

I'm sure that's true.

[SailorMom]

It bothers me too. When a public school child acts up (or does drugs at 12, or gets pregnant at 15...) no one says "Look at what happens to children from public school!" But when a homeschool child isn't absolutely perfect, it becomes the stereotype, because OBVIOUSLY they aren't socialized.... -sigh-

 

:iagree:

 

We have a few famlies around here that have the poster children for the homeschool stereotype. Of course, I've also met ps kids that could fit the bill as well - but like you said - no one points to them and blames the ps :glare:

[SquirrellyMama]

When my kids act up in public I just say, "See, they are normal." Every kid has their moments. No matter how perfect people think their kids are, THEY ARE NOT.

 

We should always remember something. All kids have their moments. Good and bad. We shouldn't be so quick to be embarrassed or angry or whatever because of an incident. Even if there is a kid who always misbehaves in public, he/she might be a different kid elsewhere. I have one. He cleaned his room, got dressed, brushed teeth, made breakfast and groomed the cat all before anyone else was dressed and yet he's my kid who most people in public would think is going to end up in reform school. He kills bugs for me and then in a very sweet voice will say, "Mom, I'm sorry you saw a bug." He's the one that Sunday School teachers would like to kick out of class. He's discipline for it and talked to and taught different strategies but to no avail sometimes.

 

Don't be so quick to judge.

 

Sorry, I don't mean to be harsh or anything. I get so tired of always hearing that homeschool kids have or are expected to have spotless behavior. They don't, no one does. I'm tired of the books with spotless children dressed in white sitting on the lawn doing their school work (ok, I've only seen one).

Edited June 26, 2010 by kwiech

[RamonaQ]

We're in a cub scouts pack and we are the ONLY homeschoolers... :glare: Those boys are absolute lunatics too. I think it's just the Boy Thing.

 

On the other hand, we've had to distance ourselves from our homeschool group several times :tongue_smilie: because the kids would get out of control.

 

I think maybe just kids in general have a lot less discipline than...say, 50 years ago. :confused: I dunno know.

 

That was our cub scout experience. And my ds LOVED it!!!!! :tongue_smilie:

 

Every kid has their moments. No matter how perfect people think their kids are, THEY ARE NOT.

 

I get so tired of always hearing that homeschool kids have or are expected to have spotless behavior. They don't, no one does.

 

Exactly. Kids are kids. I think there is some expectation that just because kids are homeschooled they are better behaved. One homeschooling family told my best friend, who was house/babysitting, not to worry about the kids, they were unlike OTHER children. Well, the second the parents left the kids ate ice cream and watched TV 12 hours straight.

 

I know, OP, that wasn't your expectation. You were just frustrated and embarrassed by this group as a whole. Frankly, I would imagine that is just the "culture" of that group....they feel it is ok to act that way. You should be glad you are not a part of it.

[scubamama]

My ds was a scout this year...dad always went. We all went tot he promotion ceremony with Grandpa and I was shocked at how crazy the boys were - running around, not listening tot he pack leader, etc. I was embarassed! Dh said the kids were usually like that...all the other parents seemed to be ok with it and the pack leader carried on as if it was not unusual. This was a mix of HSers and PSers - so I guess it kind of depends on the "tone" of expectations from the pack and parents. I didn't know if I should start yelling at kids or stand back...I have lots of respect for the Scout leaders. I did before I and do now!

[DianeW88]

That kind of out of control behavior with parents who seemingly look the other way is the reason why we quit doing homeschool co-op activities altogether. :glare:

 

Diane W.

married for 22 years

homeschooling 3 kiddos for 16 years

[scubamama]

We quit a HS group b/c of that too...the leaders kids were the worst (isn't that how it often is?) everytime they were corrected by another adult she would give them candy from her purse :confused: It was like negative conditioning!