What can you do about a lazy kindergartener?

[lotsofpumpkins]

I apologize for my use of the word "lazy", which bothers some of you. I mainly used it to make a point- this is a child who is bright, has no issues with writing whatsoever, and just perhaps needs a little push when it comes to school.

 

I mentioned this a bit in one of my other threads, but I felt it needs to be its own topic. My 5 year old (turned 5 in December) started Kindergarten work about a month or so ago. We are using Little Hearts for His Glory by Heart of Dakota, and he seems to enjoy the "rhymes in motion" and singing and hands-on activities (as long as his older siblings "tag along" with him; he can't stand the thought of doing a program all by himself!). But when it comes to his written work, I hear a lot of "I'm tired", "I don't know how", and "I can't". Dh and I feel that he's just grown accustomed to being allowed to do whatever he wants during schooltime, and perhaps he just needs time to adjust. I have a small amount of work that is required for him each day-- one page of ETC, one page of earlybird math, and either handwriting or a page of one of the R&S workbooks for this age. I don't feel like that's too much. We will also be adding in Phonics Pathways once my copy arrives, but obviously that won't add anymore written work for ds.

 

I don't think this is an issue of ability. This ds picks up on things pretty quickly IF he is willing to learn them. Does anyone else have a child like this? Did you try to do anything about it, or just stick with it? My oldest two may complain from time to time about some of their schoolwork, but in general they have enjoyed school and haven't really given me a problem. This ds just wants to draw or go play, and I really have to insist that he completes his work first.

 

ETA: I had a chat with ds and it he said he doesn't like ETC because he might get the words mixed up. I don't know if he's a perfectionist or if he just doesn't want to do work that might challenge him. I told him we can do PP for a while without ETC, and we'll use a markerboard for phonics. He seemed to be happy with that plan.

Edited April 9, 2010 by lotsofpumpkins

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

My son is the same way. I am just waiting til the fall. I figure kids usually turn 6 in K and my son wont be 6 until next fall so I think I am just going to give him that time to get emotionally ready. I tried when he just turned 5 and he just isnt ready. Yes, he is smart and understood what we were dong, he just really isnt ready for K quite yet. :D

[lotsofpumpkins]

I would wait, but we school year-round and usually promote in mid- or late-May (so, we did start a bit earlier with his Kindergarten than I originally intended, but only by a couple of months). With having to take some time off this fall for the new baby, we especially need to continue our year-round schedule this year!

 

I also feel like I'd be "giving in" to him if we put the books away for a while, since I do feel like a lot of this is related to him not wanting to do it even though he is capable.

[Guest]

It's developmentally appropriate for a K-er to prefer hands-on work and games to written worksheets. Three pages of work might not seem a lot to you, but it can seem like a mountain to a very young child who has trouble sitting still and physically managing the act of writing. I'd second what the other poster said and tuck the written work away for six months or so and see what happens. Play games with math instead of doing worksheets (there are a lot of threads about fun ways to do math, and Peggy Kaye's Games For Math is great for quick, easy games that allow children to jump or move around rather than sit and write); continue to read picture books and do non-written phonics exercises; do some fun science activities (Mudpies to Magnets is good, as are a number of other books with ideas for young children); have your child strengthen fine motor skills before you settle down to writing. There is a series of fun craft books in the bookstores called Chicken Socks, and there are lots of games that require fine motor movements -- PickUp Sticks, RushHour, etc. -- that will help dramatically when your child is ready to sit and write as a mode of learning. There's no hurry. Learning does not stop when you put away the paper and pencils. There will be plenty of time for that when he is developmentally ready.

[fenni]

It's not unusual for young boys to be allergic to pencils. I wouldn't worry about it. I might have him write one sheet some days but the rest I would write for him. It won't matter in the long run.

[JudoMom]

Mine isn't going to be a popular response, but when my boys turn 5, certain things become requirements that were mostly optional at 4 and younger. This includes some school work. Phonics, math, & penmanship are the typical required items, and I make sure the lesson ends on my terms. In other words, if they're having a bad "I don't wanna day", I'll cut the lesson short but won't let them know I cut it short, if that makes sense. These take 30 minutes on average, and it's often broken up throughout the day. They are also required to sit in on history readings or other group work if I think it's something they'll understand and at least somewhat enjoy.

 

Not many 5 year olds are going to want to sit and do school work, but I believe it's a good time to build good habits and learn some basics.

[8filltheheart]

When my oldest was a Ker, his definition of coloring a page was a single line swiped acrossed it and immediately handed back to me. Sadly, I fought him for a long time trying to make him do seat work. I did learn from that experience though.

 

When they are ready, they can learn very quickly what you can take a long time teaching them when they are younger. Who cares if they are writing letters at 5? It won't hurt them to write them at 6 or 7. Academics isn't all its cracked up to be when they are little.

[Caribbean Queen]

I'd be reluctant to say he is lazy.

 

It would have been hard for my son to do 3 worksheets when he was 5. I did not require him to do any math worksheets. On most days he copied a short sentence and/or wrote 6 letters. That was all the seat work he did. Now he is 6 years old and he can do much more seat work without frustration. He matured.

[Momling]

With my reluctant kindergartner, I try to create situations where she'll want to do her work... So I say things like "You can go outside and play until 4pm, but you need to [finish this page/clean your bedroom/empty the dishwasher] first. If it takes a long time, I don't know if you'll have much time to play!" Another thing (if you're willing to do work at night) is to have your child all ready for bed at 7pm. And then say "Do you want to a little work before bed or are you ready to go to sleep?" This technique always works for us.

[K&Rs Mom]

I get this sometimes from both of mine. I have a friend using Abeka, so I usually can remind mine what M & L have to do for writing each day, and they're suddenly grateful to be on the WTM plan instead. :D Sometimes I need to walk away: if it's something that really doesn't need my help (like copywork or math practice, nothing new), I'll leave the room and tell them to call me when it's done. Sometimes it will take an hour, but they don't have any other options until it's done, and I don't have to waste my energy arguing with them. Most of the time it's done in under 10 minutes because they want to get on with life. This seems to work better when they're smaller - both of mine get a big kick out of "surprising" me when I come back and their work is perfect, but 7yo seems to be moving past that now.

[LibraryLover]

Seriously? And i am trying to say this without 'tone'...I would drop the idea that a 5 year old is 'lazy'.

 

A 5 year wants to do and be and dscover. He might not want to do dull worksheets and write and sit, but he wants to be in the world, he *wants* to learn.

 

If you are set on doing book work/curric at this age, I would check into Charlotte Mason.

[momofabcd]

You could easily set ETC aside for awhile or even dump it. Phonics Pathways will be all you need. Then split the other worksheets apart with lots of playtime in between. He's such a young five. My dd turned five in January, and I only have her doing a handwriting worksheet one day, then she practices writing her letters the rest of the week on a dry erase board (she loves this) whenever she wants. On another day, I have her doing something from a R&S K book. I don't give her more than one worksheet each day. We do Right Start math, so that's all hands on. She is a worksheet lover, but I don't want to burn her out. So, I'd say relax and let him be an active little boy. Hug on him and love on him. He will grow up way too fast. I'd venture to guess he's not lazy at all, just active and social and very young 5, not even true K yet ;)

[EppieJ]

It's developmentally appropriate for a K-er to prefer hands-on work and games to written worksheets. Three pages of work might not seem a lot to you, but it can seem like a mountain to a very young child who has trouble sitting still and physically managing the act of writing. I'd second what the other poster said and tuck the written work away for six months or so and see what happens. Play games with math instead of doing worksheets... continue to read picture books and do non-written phonics exercises; do some fun science activities (Mudpies to Magnets is good, as are a number of other books with ideas for young children); have your child strengthen fine motor skills before you settle down to writing... There's no hurry. Learning does not stop when you put away the paper and pencils. There will be plenty of time for that when he is developmentally ready.

 

:iagree: He's probably just not "there" yet developmentally. And, like a pp said, young boys tend to be "allergic" to pencils. You said he turned 5 in December so he's still pretty young. In school districts around here, that's pre-kindergarten age, not kindergarten. Those few months can make a huge difference at this age. Believe me, I know. My ds started a little early as well (October birthday). While he was ready academically for 1st grade when we started him at the alt ed program, he was not ready for a lot of writing, etc. Some things just take time to develop. It's hard work to develop those fine motor skills; it takes time to build up the stamina and dexterity.

 

For letter "writing" practice, you might have him draw letters in cornmeal, etc. with his finger. That way he's learning how the letters are formed and building up some dexterity. Or try sidewalk chalk on the porch outside (or whatever is available). Things like this will allow him to progress in the writing, but still allows for his developing fine motor skills. And it's way more fun than sitting down at the table with a pencil.

 

You mentioned that he likes to draw. This is a great way to build up writing skills. Does he like mazes or dot-to-dots? Things like that are great for pre-writing skills (as well as critical thinking). Kumon has some great workbooks that address these things. You might also try file folder games. I used lots of these when I was teaching in a pre-k classroom and again, with my son. A Google search will find you lots of ideas.

 

Playing with playdough is actually a good way to strengthen some of those writing muscles, too. Some great books to have on hand for this age are: Scribble Cookies, Kids Create!, and Mudworks. These list all kinds of recipes (goop, playdough...) and activities that are great for this age.

 

You know your ds better than any of us, but from what you describe, IMHO he's not lazy. He's just not quite ready.

 

HTH!

[LibraryLover]

Yo, ho ho! :iagree:

 

:iagree:

 

 

Playing with playdough is actually a good way to strengthen some of those writing muscles, too. Some great books to have on hand for this age are: Scribble Cookies, Kids Create!, and Mudworks. These list all kinds of recipes (goop, playdough...) and activities that are great for this age.

 

You know your ds better than any of us, but from what you describe, IMHO he's not lazy. He's just not quite ready.

 

HTH!

[lotsofpumpkins]

Mine isn't going to be a popular response, but when my boys turn 5, certain things become requirements that were mostly optional at 4 and younger. This includes some school work. Phonics, math, & penmanship are the typical required items, and I make sure the lesson ends on my terms. In other words, if they're having a bad "I don't wanna day", I'll cut the lesson short but won't let them know I cut it short, if that makes sense. These take 30 minutes on average, and it's often broken up throughout the day. They are also required to sit in on history readings or other group work if I think it's something they'll understand and at least somewhat enjoy.

 

Not many 5 year olds are going to want to sit and do school work, but I believe it's a good time to build good habits and learn some basics.

 

That's how dh and I feel about it.

[lotsofpumpkins]

It's not unusual for young boys to be allergic to pencils. I wouldn't worry about it. I might have him write one sheet some days but the rest I would write for him. It won't matter in the long run.

 

That's not this child. He loves to write and draw (for fun). And as an example of the workload- sometimes the ETC page involves only circling the word, not even writing it. On his earlybird math page he might only have to write 4 numbers. The handwriting/R&S workbooks are pretty simple so far too. So, it's really not that much.

[...................]

I think you are reasonable in your requirements.

 

Can you add hands on stuff to the pages? It is developmentally appropriate at his age to desire touching and doing rather than writing. That will help.

 

As far as the complaining, I would set up a reward system. A piece of gum or candy placed on the counter each day. Give him ten bingo chips or other markers. Every time he complains take a chip away. Consistently!!! Don't ever let it slide. At the end of the day if he has 9 chips he may have the candy.

 

Also be sure to space out every subject with playtime in between! This is key for my boy. If I try to get him to keep going he becomes a lump on the floor (literally!!!). But the break revvs him up, in a goid way. Ten minutes set on the kitchen timer is enough.

 

:)

[lotsofpumpkins]

Seriously? And i am trying to say this without 'tone'...I would drop the idea that a 5 year old is 'lazy'.

 

A 5 year wants to do and be and dscover. He might not want to do dull worksheets and write and sit, but he wants to be in the world, he *wants* to learn.

 

If you are set on doing book work/curric at this age, I would check into Charlotte Mason.

 

I know it sounds bad to use the word lazy. I was just trying to explain the situation the best way I could.

 

It is difficult figuring out the best way to educate all of the children who are so drastically different in personality. My oldest has always loved school. When my 6 year old was in Kindergarten, he was trying to do 5-6 (or more) pages of workbooks a day, just because he wanted to. So, evidently my 5 year old isn't so thrilled with the whole workbook thing. I can go ahead and drop the ETC for a while since we have PP now. I do think we need to keep the math, because we do the hands-on stuff with it and he doesn't seem to mind that part.

[Ellie]

Honey, he isn't lazy. And be careful about putting such a negative label on him, because it will affect so many facets of your interactions with him.

 

He's a 5yo child. It is common for 5yo dc not to be enthusiastic about the things their parents want them to do, especially if it looks like "school." It isn't "lazy." It could be a discipline issue, but it isn't *lazy.*

[lotsofpumpkins]

Honey, he isn't lazy. And be careful about putting such a negative label on him, because it will affect so many facets of your interactions with him.

 

He's a 5yo child. It is common for 5yo dc not to be enthusiastic about the things their parents want them to do, especially if it looks like "school." It isn't "lazy." It could be a discipline issue, but it isn't *lazy.*

 

Laziness IS a discipline issue, is it not?

[LibraryLover]

You're going to make yourself crazy thinking this way. :D He has been on this earth for 5 short years. Of course he wants to move, to discover it. That is what little children do!

 

What does Charlotte Mason say? God put the wiggle in your child, dont you take it out? Something like that. I am not a Christian, but i am always soothed by those words when i see them in curric ads.

 

It's pretty well -noted that some of the finest, most intelletucal people (men) of history did not start their formal educations until 8 or later.

And again, formal does not mean they sat on their mother's or nannies laps all day with no exposure to anything but the bosom. :tongue_smilie:

 

Laziness IS a discipline issue, is it not?

Edited April 10, 2010 by LibraryLover

[alpidarkomama]

I definitely wouldn't push it. Until age 6 I don't make learning time "mandatory." It's completely up to them when and how much (Hebrew, reading, writing, and math). They're learning plenty just being in a rich environment. Boys especially aren't too interested in the pencil/paper side of things.

[Karis]

Hi,

 

Take this time to discover what your child delights in. Early Childhood Educators KNOW there is much learning in "play."

 

If you and hubby make learning a less than positive experience, there will likely always be a struggle. Give your little guy some time. A child should delight in learning new things. Sometimes WE get caught up in how WE choose to educate a child. We want to do things OUR way. Homeschooling affords US the opportunity to learn and grow, too. (IF we are teachable)

 

 

 

I'll simply share what a good friend shared with me when I first began homeschooling formally...

 

"The wise teacher makes learning a joy."

 

Raising a child, Touching a heart, Nurturing a spirit... takes wisdom, perseverance, and creativity.

 

I beam when my children tell others that they LOVE being homeschooled.

 

 

Their work is not "easy" It is quite challenging. But I plan appropriate and enjoyable activities to go with their coursework. Each child has a unique bent/ personality.

 

If workbook stuff isn't "it" Play some games.

 

Children love to learn, so make the learning fun.

[kmacnchs]

As others have said, you know your child better than anyone. That being said, here are some of our issues and how we deal with them:

 

dd1 will sometimes answer w/o thinking and is reminded to be "slow to speak" (Ja 1:19) - ie. THINK before you speak (when she is just trying to finish - not trying, really)

whenever she complains or talks about when will we be done for the day? she is reminded not to ask that - to just focus on the task at hand. if she asks more than once, that is not obeying, it is nagging, etc. (take your pick) and she is disciplined for it

 

today, for example, she went through the whole school time (1hr&30min for her) having a happy heart and I just praised her socks off about it :D I continually remind her that it is not about getting the answer right (she is a perfectionist at heart), but it is about having a happy heart and trying your best!

 

she hears this A LOT (my 2yo was doing a puzzle the other day and said, "I'm trying by best, mamma!" - I didn't realize how much I say it :lol:)

 

I do like the idea of breaking up his wkshts w/hands-on activities. We do that, and it helps a lot!

 

Don't let others get you down for semantics! When did it become a bad thing to expect things out of your kids! geesh! I'm sure you are doing a great job :)

Edited April 9, 2010 by kmacnchs

[tristangrace]

First, I'd ask myself a clarifying question: Is my main goal to create a daily training opportunities for my son to learn discipline (in addition to the ones that come up naturally two dozen times a day--at least--in my house!) or is my main goal that he learn certain materials?"

 

If your main goal is to have daily training sessions, there is no particular reason to have schoolwork be the training ground (and perhaps some good reasons not to). You could focus on training him to do housework, for example. If I felt my five-year-old needed "extra" training in doing things he finds distasteful, mainly because a well-trained five-year-old can be a BIG help around the house.

 

If your main goal IS an educational one, you probably just need to get much more creative with how you teach--activities, games, pictures. (Which, if you are like me, is much more work than using a more straightforward workbook approach--but that's when I tell myself "sometimes we have to do things that don't come easily!" ;)

 

Hope that helps!

[texasmama]

My advice is to use a simple reward system like a sticker, piece of gum, trinket, etc. If you choose reinforcers that he is interested in and he still is not able to cooperatively do the work, I would say that it it too much for him at this point. The writing doesn't sound like too much as you describe it, but obviously something is not working for him so thus, the reinforcers. That is what I do when I hit a wall with my kids. I don't want to spend our time focusing on negatives but rather my goal is to get them motivated through positives.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

When my oldest was a Ker, his definition of coloring a page was a single line swiped acrossed it and immediately handed back to me. Sadly, I fought him for a long time trying to make him do seat work. I did learn from that experience though.

 

When they are ready, they can learn very quickly what you can take a long time teaching them when they are younger. Who cares if they are writing letters at 5? It won't hurt them to write them at 6 or 7. Academics isn't all its cracked up to be when they are little.

 

:iagree: I think it is a developmental problem and not a laziness problem. IOW, his brain and body are not ready for seat work from what I learned as a nurse.

 

In the meantime, I would use a lot of creativity and reading to your ds for his learning adventures. For example, crayons, chalk, educational games, clay, educational computer games, educational DVDs are come in handy at this age IMHO.

 

My ds was allergic to writing until well after 7. I learned to use chalk and to have him practice words that interested him such as planets, Jupiter, Scooby Doo for writing practice. I learned to do a lot of non-writing educational actitivities that involved some of his interests as well. Lastly, the main thing was that I read tons of good books to him with me occasionally sounding out words to him. I also found Between the Lions on PBS to be very helpful.

 

My son, at almost 8, finally learned to do seat work with me at his side:) I still have to be creative though at times and break things up. I have also found a desktop white board to be handy as well.

[Lori D.]

.. seems to enjoy the "rhymes in motion" and singing and hands-on activities (as long as his older siblings "tag along" with him; he can't stand the thought of doing a program all by himself!).

 

 

In addition to agreeing with other responses about 5 being pretty young to do seat work, it also really sounds like to me from your post that he prefers doing school WITH others. How are you currently having him do his seatwork? Hand it to him and walk away? Is he in the same room with everyone else who are all doing various schoolwork, or is he alone at the table or desk?

 

What happens if you sit with him and fold laundry or chop things up for dinner while he does seatwork, so he can be interacting with you (and in addition to giving him positive feedback, by being right there you can gently, subtly be redirecting his attention back onto his work -- I had a VERY distractible little lad: "That's great! That's the right answer! Now do the next problem just like that one!" ... "Wow, half your worksheet is already done! Do you think you'll finish the rest before I get the basket of laundry folded?" ... "Yes that was a really funny joke! Oh, look! Only 3 more problems and you're done!"

 

Or can he sit at the table while older siblings are also doing workbooks ("Look at that; all the big kids are doing their worksheets together!")?

 

 

Also, with our active distractible DS, for the first year or two, we could only do math or language arts in short "bursts" (5 to 15 minutes) and then have him do something active, hands-on, or different than sitting and writing. Example:

- do half of worksheet 1, then sing some songs;

- then finish worksheet 1 and go out and play for 20 minutes;

- come in and do half of worksheet 2, and then do a hands-on activity;

- then read-aloud or book on tape for 20 minutes; and finish worksheet 2;

- have a snack or lunch; then do half a worksheet 3;

- then do another activity; then finish worksheet 3.

 

 

Enjoy those dear little ones while they are little; those days go by so VERY fast! Warmest regards, Lori D.

[lotsofpumpkins]

In addition to agreeing with other responses about 5 being pretty young to do seat work, it also really sounds like to me from your post that he prefers doing school WITH others. How are you currently having him do his seatwork? Hand it to him and walk away? Is he in the same room with everyone else who are all doing various schoolwork, or is he alone at the table or desk?

 

 

 

When it's time for his seatwork, he sits at the kitchen table and I sit next to him. His big brother sits across from him and works on one of his more independent subjects (math or penmanship). His big sister sits at her desk which is right next to the kitchen table. His younger siblings are sometimes at the table too, coloring, or sometimes they are off playing somewhere. So, we are all in there together, and I definitely don't hand him work and then walk away. So, I know he's not lonely! :)

[Ellie]

Laziness IS a discipline issue, is it not?

You correct the behavior; you don't call him "lazy." It's a deadly label. BTDT.

 

But you also evaluate the kinds of things you're doing to see if they're appropriate for *him*. Children can't say, "Mother, I am not challenged by this material, but I know you're going to make me do it anyway, so I'm just going to complain and whatnot." Or "Mother, this material is way over my head. I know you're going to make me do it anyway, so I'm just going to complain and whatnot."

[Lori D.]

So, we are all in there together, and I definitely don't hand him work and then walk away. So, I know he's not lonely! :)

 

 

That is helpful to know -- one thing you can cross off the list as a possible factor! :)

[ALB]

I also agree that it's good to develop good work habits early and that since you know what he is capable of, it's not wrong for you to require him to meet your expectations. I think more hands on activities might accomplish the same goals as doing wkbk pages in the end, so it might be good to make those the main thing, but I also think requiring a page to be completed daily is good practice. I know 5's need play and experiences, but I also think they can take 5-10 min. to work on a page when they are told to, without any devastating results. Just my (inexperienced!) opinion!

[ChrisB]

 

I don't think this is an issue of ability. This ds picks up on things pretty quickly IF he is willing to learn them. Does anyone else have a child like this?

I have one who is a perfectionist in her own little way. She will not try something new until she knows she can do it perfectly (or close). If she perceives that she is unable, even though I'm pretty sure that she can, she won't try it until she's confident in her ability. It just takes her a tad longer to turn that corner ;). And when she does it, she does it well. (most of the time;))