kalanamak Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 (edited) I'm halving it all. I've gotten rid of over half my clothes, 2/3 of my books, half my kitchen stuff, half the kid's toys, most of my old videos, boxes of juvenile writing, most of my mementos (the collars of all my dead pets, my childhood toys, unremarkable shells and rocks I have collected, etc). Now I have to decide what to get rid of in the line of things owned by my parents, grandparents or perhaps further back. I don't really want to cart around the corroded silver plate my grandmother got as a freebie in her detergent (3 salad forks, 6 spoons, 1 regular fork), the chipped depression glass lemon squeezer, a 150 year old Jenny Lind bed I slept on as a child that really has seen better days, etc. I don't want to spend the rest of my life schlepping these around as they get rattier and rattier, but it feels terrible. I'll keep the throws my GM tatted, and my GGGM full china set, and my GGM pan from WW1. I was folding the first quilt my mother made and came upon one of her hairs. I had trouble throwing it out. I even thought about eating it, rather than throwing it out. I could hear my mother "what a weird thought". I gave it to my son to throw out. To live many lives, we must die many deaths. Edited February 21, 2010 by kalanamak Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 Take beautiful pictures of the items and then put the pictures in a special photo album (or scrapbook if you're so inclined). Or, if you're going to throw the items away and not sell them or give them away, take pictures of the items and break off pieces of them to put in a sturdy, pretty box. Then, you'll just have one box of the pictures along with pieces of each item to touch. For instance, cut a bit of fabric, keep one spoon, smash the chipped lemon thing and keep a piece of the glass, and a spindle from the bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 Darn... wish I lived near you... you could schlep your JL bed right over to my house!! :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMCassandra Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 (((kalanamak))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mermaid Mama Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 To live many lives, we must die many deaths. This is awesome. And P.S. - I don't think the eating of the hair is all that weird. We get plenty of it from rats and strangers when we eat processed food. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avila Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 :grouphug: I am doing the same thing, though I doubt I make it to half. I did get rid of my grandma's china. And it is only the beginning. I have a big box of pictures, many very old and without names, so I don't have a clue who they are. They belonged to my grandparents, and they may have inherited them. As a genealogist, I want to KEEP! But since I have no clue who they are and no way of finding out, I am having a hard time justifying that. I would love to send them to the right homes, but it is hopeless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 oh, i hope i catch this.... i try so very hard, but i am so far completely unable to get rid of things that belonged to any of the "greats" (great grandparents, great aunts, etc, etc). it still feels so very much like a trust given.... yup, i'm not ready to do it even yet. i've managed to move some of it to the garage, though, which is the first step.... ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PollyOR Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 (edited) Oh, I admire you! How I wish I wasn't carting this stuff around. I have my mother's piano that none of us play, one set of my grandmother's china (there were at least three), and 1/2 a duplex next door full of my parents' memorabilia. When one of my grandmother's plates broke last year, I was secretly thrilled....then my mom lovingly glued it back together. :001_huh: Edited February 21, 2010 by PollyOR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny Piaaree Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 Or, if you're going to throw the items away and not sell them or give them away, take pictures of the items and break off pieces of them to put in a sturdy, pretty box. Then, you'll just have one box of the pictures along with pieces of each item to touch. For instance, cut a bit of fabric, keep one spoon, smash the chipped lemon thing and keep a piece of the glass, and a spindle from the bed. Oooh, I love this idea! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annabel Lee Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 To expand on Garga's idea, you could make a nice shadow box hanging out of those bits of things. I too have an incredibly hard time decluttering, nevermind the sentimental stuff, even with anything "useful" or "worth something" that could be sold and part of the money put into it reclaimed. (((hugs))) Your ancestors wouldn't want you to keep stuff that feels so cumbersome that it's come to "schlepping it around". They'd want you to be at peace & live the quality of life you dream of (read as: not schlepping loads of stuff around nor living in little spaces between it all). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 A few thoughts: Can you find out if anyone else in the family wants any of the items? That way you can live on guilt free, knowing they went to another family home? Or do you know someone who collects antiques? You can pass them on to someone who would really enjoy them and appreciate them for what they are? There are online sites that sell replacement pieces for sets of china and silver, maybe they would be interested in the pieces. While you may still feel guilty about getting rid of them, it would be nice to make the person looking for that exact item, very happy to have found it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 Oh, if only I couldd come to your house and help! I am known around here as the 'anti sentimental' one LOL and throw away just about everything!! That said, I am a scrapbooker and take photos of everything, so Ii can't be that unsentimental, right? I always feel better, lighter, when I declutter. It might take time, but our lives are not about our 'stuff'--they're about the people and the experiences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted February 21, 2010 Author Share Posted February 21, 2010 A few thoughts: Can you find out if anyone else in the family wants any of the items? That way you can live on guilt free, knowing they went to another family home? Or do you know someone who collects antiques? You can pass them on to someone who would really enjoy them and appreciate them for what they are? You wouldn't believe the number of antiques my parents left behind. One brother manned up and took the lion's share. If he ever moves or remarries, I don't know what will happen. I'm thinking of offering them on Craig's list free. 19th century walnut furniture ought to catch someone's eye. It's just the Paradise Lost feeling, our mortality, how things fade and die no matter how much we love them, the "algia" in nostalgia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beachrose Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 Wow it would be tough to go through that list! I would just pick out the few most special things things that have memories attached! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 I am currently going through family photo albums from 2 generations, on BOTH sides of our family. UGH. thegood news is...I can scan them and then throw them all away! I just pulled out the girls' summer clothes and am going to cut that in half, at least. Maybe even a third. I'm going to try to get them down to 4 nice outfits, 7 play outfits and a few tank tops. And 3 Sunday Dresses. Not going to be easy, they are girls, through and through. They LOVE their clothes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i.love.lucy Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 I've been thinking a lot on these lines too. We just moved and got rid of a ton. A. TON. But my dh is very sentimental and doesn't part with things well. Can you say "crates and crates of records"? Oy. And now his dad, my dfil, is back in the hospital today probably to never return home. We all have that melancholy "you can't take it with you" feeling. I have a hard time when people attach too much importance to "stuff". (Obviously some stuff is important - ykwim) My mom has done this and is a borderline hoarder. I live in mortal fear of the day I will have to go through her things. I can't even think about it, it overwhelms me so. Especially because in her mind the plans she has for these belongings - and how that person treats them - equals the love they have for her. How I wish I could change her perception of this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 Take a picture and start a scrapbook or photo album of mementos... you will enjoy it much more with one book to look through to go down memory lane rather than having the actual items scattered throughout the house collecting dust, taking up room! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MistyJ Posted February 22, 2010 Share Posted February 22, 2010 It helps me to keep 1 or 2 things that remind me of my dad or my grandmother, etc., and toss the rest. I don't need 10 or 12 things to have the memory. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EthiopianFood Posted February 22, 2010 Share Posted February 22, 2010 I'm thinking of offering them on Craig's list free. 19th century walnut furniture ought to catch someone's eye. Oh dear god, you don't live anywhere near MN, do you?? :drool5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted February 22, 2010 Share Posted February 22, 2010 Why would anyone rate this thread low? I think it's great that you are taking inventory and asking yourself how much of your life you want centered around stuff. Congratulations! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rose_king Posted February 22, 2010 Share Posted February 22, 2010 And P.S. - I don't think the eating of the hair is all that weird. We get plenty of it from rats and strangers when we eat processed food. That's just GROSS! :eek: I may never eat again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted February 22, 2010 Share Posted February 22, 2010 Why would anyone rate this thread low? I think it's great that you are taking inventory and asking yourself how much of your life you want centered around stuff. Congratulations! :iagree: I think it's awesome too. People that give bad ratings to good threads are (I'm guessing) sad little people living sad little lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rose_king Posted February 22, 2010 Share Posted February 22, 2010 I wish I had your self control. Antiques make me happy. Books make me happier. Who needs clothes and dishes? :lol: Just don't touch my books! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Lilac Studio Posted February 22, 2010 Share Posted February 22, 2010 Good for you. I need to resume a massive decluttering project. Just need to find a good place to rehome everything so it doesn't all wind up in my garage! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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