PS: Adversary or Partner?

[LibrarianMom]

Reading through the threads, I frequently sense a hostility toward the PS by those of us who are for one reason or another utilizing it for a portion of our children's education. I was curious if you tend to view your local PS as an adversary or partner in your children's education and why?

[WTMCassandra]

I think this is at least heavily influenced by how our local PS sees US--as adversaries or partners.

 

If there's hostility on either side, I think it's worth looking at where the hostility originated (not that's OK to be hostile back if someone's hostile toward you). If one regularly encounters hostility from one's PS, one isn't going to view those folks as partners.

 

I think it also depends on the laws of the state. In some states, there's a big separation between homeschooling and PS, and in other states, the line is more blurry. That can be both good and bad (I've lived in both kinds of states).

[Sara R]

I appreciate what the public school offers. My kids, especially my extroverted youngest daughter, enjoy the social time. I appreciate the break. (I'm an introvert.) They are exposed to science projects I probably wouldn't get to. They are exposed to other adults and sometimes children who value education. My middle child is academically competitive, and it's difficult to harness that character trait productively in homeschool. That's why they go to school.

 

I do try to work with the teachers and schools as a partner, appreciating the teachers for all they do. I used to substitute teach, and I know what hard work it is.

 

But sometimes the philosophies and methods the school uses can be frustrating. I try to accept the schools for what they are. But if there is a problem, I do communicate it to them in what I hope is a friendly way. For example, the school's balanced literacy program has meant that my 1st grade daughter has started to guess at words. So, I've decided to do part-time homeschool, which is an option in my state. When I talk to the principal about it, I will tell him that a factor in my decision is the balanced literacy program and the Investigations math. Of course I won't blame the teachers; it's not their fault that they have to teach a lousy curriculum, and blaming them would not be productive. They are good teachers. I'll just say my kids need more phonics and a traditional math curriculum, and I will provide it. The principal can use that information as he sees fit.

[Sue G in PA]

I'd love to view us as partners, except I don't agree with anything they do! How can I be a partner? My kids are there b/c for right now...they need to be. I don't like to consider myself an adversary, but I guess I am always fighting them about one thing or another :tongue_smilie: It's too bad really...I really, really dislike everything about ps.

[5ray2006]

I dislike the new math curriculum adopted by our district last year. I think it works for some children who are visual learners and have great critical thinking skills and good at mental math. But, it isn't great for my oldest ds in third grade. PS is definitely my adversary when it comes to math. As for as spelling, science, art and music-we are partners in ds education.

 

Now, my younger ds is a k'er and he is being pulled from ps. I will say his teacher is wonderful and ds loves being in her class and has made a lot of friends. However, socialization is not the reason for being in school, it is to get a great education to prepare for higher learning.

 

We try to support the school as much as possible. I really like the teachers and the overall school environment. I wish I could say things are going well for ds in math, but he seems to be regressing instead of progressing. He has begged us to stay in school until the Christmas break and we have agreed. After that, we will be a full-time homeschooling family. :D

[aggieamy]

I'd love to view us as partners, except I don't agree with anything they do! How can I be a partner? My kids are there b/c for right now...they need to be. I don't like to consider myself an adversary, but I guess I am always fighting them about one thing or another :tongue_smilie: It's too bad really...I really, really dislike everything about ps.

 

Total agreement from me. When Sophia started school this year I was trying to be positive about it. I mean she's going to a highly ranked school district, good area, blah blah blah. Well, she's reading fluently now due to afterschooling. We had our first parent teacher conference last night and the teacher had no idea she could read at all. I was flabbergasted. The teacher kept discrediting a some of the things she was doing really well as flukes. Very frustrating. How can they teach her when they don't even know what she's capable of!

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I think they view me as adversarial because I ask for specific information. I think they just want me to accept the paltry information they pass on to parents as sufficient. I want to know exactly what my kids are learning and doing at school. I don't think that is a strange request, but they certainly treat it as such. I would love to be partners in learning with the school, but I also don't agree with many of their approaches or the materials they use.

[MeanestMomInMidwest]

what a good question. I'm new to afterschooling, as this is my kids' first year in ps. The school in general, I'm not sure. I get frustrated at it because they seem to be nickle & diming me to death. We have over $300 in book fee due this month (for books we don't even get to keep), I shelled out $20 per kid to the PTO, classroom supply requests above and beyond the beginning of the year list, and every time I turn around this public school has its hand out to me. don't get me started on how much time is spent on noneducational activities.

 

The teachers are a mixed bag. Dd's K teacher is a nice young girl who is slightly overwhelmed. DD loves her and loves seeing her friends at school, sitting at a desk etc. Teacher told me at the beginning of the year they have a "mix" of phonics and whole language. I have yet to see any phonics. Oh well....we keep doing phonics at home

 

Ds8 is breezing through 2nd grade. He has asked for harder homework. His teacher accomodated the request with a different math page than the other kids get (it is still very easy for him). He's not a genius, I just already taught him that stuff last year. She is also very good, I discovered recently, at giving him activities to keep him busy in class when he finishes his work ahead of the other children. She is very nice, very accomodating. Not her fault the curriculum is what it is.

 

Ds9 hates public school and will come back home during Winter Break. The work is not difficult for him, but the social aspect is breaking his spirit. The teacher moved his desk.:glare:

 

It seems to me that if everyone (parents, kids) just get on the bandwagon, don't raise a fuss, and go along to get along, the school is fine. Otherwise, they just don't really know what to do. This school, at least, does not have an avenue to challenge students who are obviously getting good grades with no effort. In that respect, I feel a bit adversarial toward the school, however I'm sure nobody there feels that way toward me.

[Elisa]

They like you if you stay quiet and go along with all the rules. If you speak up, they start telling you what is wrong with your child and all kinds of intimidation to get you to conform. If you promise to never stop fighting them and vow to let the rest of the world know what is going on, you might get what you need.

[lgm]

I view ps as an adversary now. The administration's powers are unchecked and are not being used for the good of the students. Their curriculum rigidity and their full inclusion movement do harm instead of good. The bias against 'advantaged' families is so obvious - charges for AP classes, no senior level classes for college bound on campus, placing the top elementary students in the mainstreamed sped classes etc. show that the politics of equality is overshadowing the law that ALL children have an appropriate education.

 

The various unions involved are operating for the good of their members..to ridiculous points that involve setting an example of drawn out arbitration rather than just getting the job done and settling a gray area afterwards. As an example, consider if a child threw up in the cafeteria at lunch. A battle between two unions will ensue as to whose job it is to clean it up while other students must walk by the mess. The next contract negotiation will include this as a line item. Then there are the teachers...working to the clock at their union's request, hiding materials from subs, threatening strikes during the school year etc etc. All this mess completely overshadows the teachers who are teaching and should be recognized for the fine job they are doing despite the politicking.

 

And let me add: IMHO mentally ill and emotionally disturbed students should not be mainstreamed. Even if there is psych support for the reg. ed. students in the class, it is earth shattering for a reg. ed. 8 year old from a functional family to bystand or be a victim to the things that go on in these classes.

Edited October 21, 2009 by lgm

[Haiku]

Adversary. They do a poor job of educating her, and they have an inappropriate view of their role in our life.

 

Tara

[Elizabeth Conley]

Our public schools offer home school families worse than nothing. What little they begrudgingly offer is a trifling waste of time, more of a hindrance than help.

 

Yep, I'm cranky about this. They're jerks. It reminds me of Aesop's fable about the fox and the stork. They seem to purposely make sure they offer us nothing of value.

[LibrarianMom]

I'm enjoying the responses and views being shared. I did want to clarify though that I'm particularly interested in the viewpoint of afterschooling families who are currently within the public school system. Not that everyone's viewpoint isn't valid, I was just curious about those who are currently in the PS environment.

 

For myself, I try to view the relationship as a partnership as much as possible. As I have one who has not been tested but definitely leans toward the gifted spectrum, or at least high achieving, and one who is on the special ed side with possible Asperger's, it can be difficult. I have found that for a lot of things such as days off or exactly what textbook they use it's not going to do any good to complain. I also try to keep in mind that even when things don't make sense to me the school district probably has a good reason for doing so--most likely silly state laws.

 

On the other hand, I stay in frequent contact with my children's teachers asking questions and advocating for them when needed. For example, when my dd (a 2nd grader) brought home a picture book although a 2nd grade reading level during the first week of school, I dashed off a quick note to her teacher and a copy of her summer reading list suggesting that she would do much better reading longer chapter books and preferably 3-4th grade. The teacher indicated she had not yet had time to assess each child's reading level, but dd did come home with a more appropriate book. Most recently, I sent a note inquiring what the "right" answers were on a particular assignment as I could tell my child's answers were right but not quite what the teacher was looking for.

 

In IEPs, I find that I have to take both a partner and adversary role. I enjoy having a variety of viewpoints and individuals who want my child to succeed. But I also know that I don't have to agree with their judgments 100% and can seek 2nd opinions.

 

I have found that well-deserved compliments and sincerely asked "How can I help you?" go much farther than complaints. I'm also pleased that a good friend's husband is now a school board member so I have another avenue to state my opinion.

[Saille]

Adversary. They do a poor job of educating her, and they have an inappropriate view of their role in our life.

 

Tara

 

That's about where I am. Services are great where available and applicable, and to the extent that school district officials are capable of behaving like professionals, grasping the law and simply doing their jobs, great. However, even the nicest person I dealt with aired several misconceptions about homeschoolers while I was there, and the fact that she felt free to do so reinforced my sense that I need to be contained, informed, and very direct when dealing with school district personnel.

[Melinda in VT]

Well, I'm the daughter and the daughter-in-law of a public school teacher, so it's difficult for me to view public schools as the adversary.

 

I've had experience as a parent in two different elementary schools. One was pretty bad. Our current school is very good. Teachers in both were well-intentioned. I think the biggest difference between the two schools is in the nature of the students.

 

This is not to say that I am always happy with the decisions the school makes. I would love a gifted program, for example. But our current school is staffed with people who genuinely care about kids and try to create a healthy learning environment in which all the kids can be successful. And they do a great job.

 

I would have a hard time entrusting my kids to an adversary for 7 hours a day.

[SheWillFly]

I've chosen to view the public school as a partner in education. I went through the past two years with the opposite view and it did nothing to help my daughter's education experience. Sure there are things I don't like. Public School isn't what I think is ideal for our family but it is what is practical for us right now and the best of the options on the table. I'm sure there will be teachers down the road that won't be as accommodating but so far I've had a positive experience with the teachers and administration of the school to make it the most positive experience possible for our children. I've also chosen to only speak of my frustrations with school to my husband away from the children's ears unless it is something that I need to take big action on. It becomes really confusing for them to know that mom or dad don't like the school because they then start to think they shouldn't like it either and that seeps into the effort they put into their work and how they respect the teacher.

[Sue G in PA]

I've chosen to view the public school as a partner in education. I went through the past two years with the opposite view and it did nothing to help my daughter's education experience. Sure there are things I don't like. Public School isn't what I think is ideal for our family but it is what is practical for us right now and the best of the options on the table. I'm sure there will be teachers down the road that won't be as accommodating but so far I've had a positive experience with the teachers and administration of the school to make it the most positive experience possible for our children. I've also chosen to only speak of my frustrations with school to my husband away from the children's ears unless it is something that I need to take big action on. It becomes really confusing for them to know that mom or dad don't like the school because they then start to think they shouldn't like it either and that seeps into the effort they put into their work and how they respect the teacher.

 

This is what we all should really be doing. I WANT to be a partner and in the sense that I keep on top of the teachers and the schoolwork and homework and projects and such...then I am a partner. I don't agree with everything they do. My kids know I don't like public school even though I don't discuss particulars with them. They know. For us, it is what it is for right now and I plan to pull them out anyway...hopefully by next year.

[Saille]

Well, I'm the daughter and the daughter-in-law of a public school teacher, so it's difficult for me to view public schools as the adversary.

 

Yeah, my mom and grandma were both teachers, and I taught ps for seven years, as well. What I guess I can say is that I don't view the teachers as adversaries, although I think some are adversarial about homeschooling. But I do think that the system is, at this point, adversarial in general as a result of its desire to perpetuate itself. And I think that it is ineffectual at reform for the same reason. I take it with a huge chunk of salt.

[rwjx2khsmj]

My dd (13) is there for band only. She loves clarinet and the social time and I'm thankful not to be paying for private lessons. In that respect, I see the ps as a partner.

 

DD (10) and DS (7) are there for speech therapy once a week. Again, a partnership.

 

DD (13) wants to play tennis in the spring. We've been told that's not allowed. It appears that unless we can find another tennis program for her we'll be questioning that policy. That may take from partnership to adversary.

[LibraryLover]

We've been unbelievably lucky. My hser has been welcomed with open arms by her PHS sports team, and my hser, who now attends PHS, is thriving. I love the music program esp, and have been impressed with his history curric/teacher. His English teacher must also be inspiring, because my kid has been writing poetry, and gave the most animated description of The Scarlet Letter I've heard from any of my kids. lol I was rather :001_huh: and :) over that. lol

[Vida Winter]

Not either one (partner or adversary). We simply co-exist with the PS, the same way we feel about the private school in our area. From time to time we participate in activities they bring to the area (theatrical productions, etc.) and we have a great time. But I wouldn't call that being a partner.

[Katrina J]

Partnership is the goal, but it can be hard sometimes. The 'balanced' literacy approach is my main gripe because it undermines the phonics work I do at home and encourages guessing.

 

The other thing that irritates me is that the curriculum tries to do too much parenting when there is no need, and as a consequence there's not enough time spent on the core disciplines. Some deprived and disadvantaged kids do need to learn almost everything at school but the kids are all really well cared for in my area.

 

On the positive side, I've found I like teaching my kids and it has made me work less and spend more time with them.

[Jeannie in NJ]

def. partner with son's school. He is in 6th grade and in his second year at the int. school. He is special needs, has lots of medical needs and dh and I are always having to take ds out of school early to doctors appt. about 1 1/2 hours away. The school is great about that, also we live less than 5 min. from the school and dh and I are always having to go there for various reasons. All the employees are so pleasant and easy to work with. Last year, ds was having problems on the bus, I called the principal and the problem was resolved by the end of the day and there have been no more problems on the bus. Also last year, dh took ds out of school for a week to go to Disney and the school was great about that.

 

Now about dd's high school. She just started this year and the school is 30 min. away so I have not had very much interaction with the staff there. One problem is that it is hard to find out exactly who to talk to about things. Yesterday, I had to call because dd was counted absent incorrectly, I finally got to the correct person and it took a LONG time to convince him that dd had not been absent. He was not very helpfuf but in the end did take care of it. Earlier, there was a problem with dd being tardy to English class (dd has knee problems which she is under a doctor's care and in physical therapy for) anyway, she was told by dr. and p.t. not to carry more than one textbook at a time so was going to locker before each class which was making her tardy. All the teachers were fine with that except for her English teacher who was counting her tardy. I emailed her and requested that a textbook be kept in class for dd to use so she does not have to go to locker. The teacher agreed and problem solved. That has basically been the only 2 contacts with anyone at dd's school.

 

Regarding homework, dd's high school wants them to do most of their work at school, therefore not much homework. Ds's school sends homework home every night and wants parent to be involved in helping with it (remember, son is special ed. so don't know how homework is treated in regular classes).

[AuntPol]

I am not currently afterschooling this year as we pulled my dd at end of the year last year and my son the year before.

 

I tried like heck to be partners with the school. I volunteered in the classrooms, for the PTA, did the vision screenings, made sure my kids did homework, read every newsletters, baked cookies and treats, sent in supplies on a regular basis, went to every conference and event, etc.

 

However, the principal did not like me. First it was because I wanted evidence of differentiation and questioned curriculum that did not include: Phonics, grammar, spelling rules, math fact memorization, and scientific method (I did this in casual non-accusatory ways and I never even broached the fact that everything they did was focused on one race -90% of the books, the only history, etc.). Then, it really came down to me asking for a new teacher for my daughter in 1st grade because the one she had was just not teaching her, did not even know who she was, etc. After that, everything was hell for me. I was scheduled to be PTA President the next year. I was already President-elect and spent the year training with current PTA president. THe principal asked another mom to run against me!!!!! Then my son's IEP's were turned down all due to principal, my daughter was intentionally not give the special student awards that every student gets, and then my son started getting suspended for things like knocking off the pencil basket in an empty room when he was upset while other kids could stand on desk and moon the class, curse the teacher, throw books at teacher, hit other kids, choke other kids, knock bookcases on other kids, etc with no consequence.

 

I tried to have conferences with the specialists because that was where my son (an Aspie) seemed to have most problems adjusting but no one would came. I tried IEP every year to only be turned down. My husband was against homeschooling all this time but gave in when the principal who was the only one turning down IEP, turned to him one day and said "Why don't you all have an IEP for this kid?" Finally, after years of them accusing me of being a horrible parent everytime he displayed an Aspie trait (because they refused to work with me on recognizing his triggers and would only call me after he melted), I was set free and we moved into homeschooling.

 

I had teachers refuse to tell me my child's reading scores because it was none of my business. They would tell us at open house that our child should need no help on homework. So then they would send home homework that my child (gifted and in gifted program) couldn't do. When I would go in and tell teacher that I she is having trouble with this, I would be told with an exasperation that it is because they haven't covered this yet!!!! They kept claiming they differentiated but that meant they sent home extra projects for the kids who needed differentiation to do at home. Nothing at school except a pull-out that coincided with recess every year.

[Elizabeth Conley]

Aunt Pol,

 

I really feel for you. A lot of the crazy-making experiences you describe are similar to ours. The public schools simply thwarted my every effort to keep the kids in public school. Things got so ridiculous that my husband let me home school because he knew they were so awful that I couldn't possibly to a worse job then the school.

 

This was the chance the kids and I needed. We've never looked back, except that I wish we could use the public school's music program. It would be so wonderful if we didn't have to pay through the nose and jump through hoops to get the kids music instruction.

[Tullia]

I think it depends on whether you afterschool by choice or necessity as well as the degree to which you accept or reject the prevailing philosophy of publicly funded education. In the beginning, we did what we did by choice and had only minor differences with the basic philosophy of publicly funded education. However, in the four years we afterschooled (K-3) we experienced safety-related issues which could not be resolved in a way we found acceptable. Once we reached the point where we could no longer accept the status quo we became less and less satisfied with our relationship with the school district (my experience with individuals always remained positive and cordial). What had once been a pleasant and fruitful situation became tense and sometimes downright unpleasant.

 

Not everyone afterschools by choice. Unless or until someone crosses the invisible line that represents the school's comfort zone with expressions of dissent it's hard to understand how a person could remain in the system and yet complain about how the school treats them. I hope I'm not putting this too bluntly, but it's generally only possible to get along with the schools so long as you you either don't disagree with them or do so only within whatever the school has determined are acceptable guidelines. If a major difficulty arises you have the choice of accepting what the school does, leaving, or filing a law suit.

 

If you take that last option, the school is likely to tell you to take a number and get in line. All too often, it's cheaper for them to pay damages to a few individuals than to risk losing state or federal money. We finally decided to homeschool, but some people don't have that option.

 

Anyhow, my afterschool experiences have probablyexceeded their shelf life, so I should apologize for dropping in with my two cents. My first experience with these boards was as an afterschool mom; I can't resist dropping in sometimes.

 

Martha :auto:

[Sahamamama]

Great question! Are we hostile without cause? I don't think so, in most cases. Perhaps this is a defensive hostility.

 

It seems that here, in New Jersey (which has no homeschooling regulation), most public school personnel are NOT supportive of homeschooling, no questions asked. This is not surprising, given that the NEA has made the following statements concerning homeschooling:

 

B-75. Home Schooling

The National Education Association believes that home schooling programs based on parental choice cannot provide the student with a comprehensive education experience. When home schooling occurs, students enrolled must meet all state curricular requirements, including the taking and passing of assessments to ensure adequate academic progress. Home schooling should be limited to the children of the immediate family, with all expenses being borne by the parents/guardians. Instruction should be by persons who are licensed by the appropriate state education licensure agency, and a curriculum approved by the state department of education should be used.

The Association also believes that home-schooled students should not participate in any extracurricular activities in the public schools.

The Association further believes that local public school systems should have the authority to determine grade placement and/or credits earned toward graduation for students entering or re-entering the public school setting from a home school setting. (1998, 2006)

 

The impression I get from public school personnel around here is that homeschoolers are all freaky-weird, religiously-oppressive, academically-unqualified morons who will damage and ruin their own children. This, in spite of the fact that most teachers, when questioned, admit that they do not personally know any homeschoolers! Seriously, how can a person NOT become a bit adversarial in this type of climate? It's tough, but I agree, we should not take the bait and become anti-PS, no questions asked. School systems, districts, and teachers are all to be taken on their own, individual terms.

 

Now, getting down to those individual terms, in my experience -- just watching my sister navigate her three children through this town's public school system -- there are a TON of unreasonable rules, policies, and teachers out in the system. Just last night, I was perusing through the "Parents" section of the home page for the school my daughter ought to attend. The rules are a riot. "We expect children to be dropped off between 8:50 and 8:55 each morning. No children are to be dropped off prior to 8:50, as there are no school personnel available to be responsible for any child. Children who arrive past 8:55 will be considered tardy...." So... be sure to drop your kid off within this little FIVE MINUTE WINDOW.... or else! :smash:

 

There are so many other things that, as a homeschooling parent, I see as intrusive into family & community life (which also have educational value). For example, removing a child from school for ANY family activity will be an unexcused (:confused: by whom?) absence -- even if the family goes to Washington! Or to a Broadway play! Or the Grand Canyon! And if we do go, we need to "request the make up work at least one, preferably two, weeks in advance." Gotta get those worksheets on canyons....

 

Something else that jumps out at me is how incredibly condescending the "teacher-ese" is towards parents -- lectures to parents about the importance of homework, lectures to parents about a child's need to "discover fundamental principles of mathematics," lectures to parents about "keeping school fun and fresh," lectures to parents on how dress their children for school, advice/requirements on what to read over the summer "break," advice/requirments on how to stay cool, get exercise, and not watch television all summer!

 

This strikes me as rather infantilizing. Do parents really need this? I suppose some do, quite frankly, but I find the school's usurpation of my role and responsibilities and thoughtfulness to be deeply disturbing. What will they tell me to do next, I wonder? At times I toy with the idea of putting my daughter in school, but then I think about what that would be like and decide to continue with what we are doing (it works!). HTH.

[SheWillFly]

I'm finding the varying public school experiences really interesting.

 

For example, removing a child from school for ANY family activity will be an unexcused (:confused: by whom?) absence -- even if the family goes to Washington! Or to a Broadway play! Or the Grand Canyon!

I was thrilled when the Principal at my children's school said very clearly to the parents. "I want your children to be able to go visit grandparents when it is convenient for your family. Grandparents and other family experiences are important. Just please do us a favor and find some kind of educational explanation for the trip. It is okay to go overboard on your explanation. I will approve it. But I need to keep the school within code." Yes, It is annoying that he had to say it in the first place but I love that he openly gave the parents permission to do those thigns without penalty.

[Sara R]

Something else that jumps out at me is how incredibly condescending the "teacher-ese" is towards parents -- lectures to parents about the importance of homework, lectures to parents about a child's need to "discover fundamental principles of mathematics," lectures to parents about "keeping school fun and fresh," lectures to parents on how dress their children for school, advice/requirements on what to read over the summer "break," advice/requirments on how to stay cool, get exercise, and not watch television all summer!

 

This strikes me as rather infantilizing. Do parents really need this? I suppose some do, quite frankly, but I find the school's usurpation of my role and responsibilities and thoughtfulness to be deeply disturbing. What will they tell me to do next, I wonder? At times I toy with the idea of putting my daughter in school, but then I think about what that would be like and decide to continue with what we are doing (it works!). HTH.

 

Totally agree with you here. At our last parent teacher conference, the teachers presented the parents with a "contract" which outlined student responsibilities, teacher responsibilities, and parent responsibilities. The parents were supposed to sign. The parent responsibilities were along the lines of "feed your child before school." Really insulting. The good parents will just find this kind of thing offensive, and the bad parents aren't going to wake up and say, "Oh! I'm supposed to feed my child breakfast? I had no idea. Thanks for letting me know." :banghead: Plus the assumption behind the contract is that the school has authority over the parents, which is untrue.

 

I accept the public school system for what it is, and take it or leave it. They should accept the parents for what they are too, and do the best they can with the kids that they have. You're not going to get massive behavior changes from parents.

 

My theory is that the schools notice that the children who are successful are those who have parents involved. They don't notice the parents educating behind the scenes, either by afterschooling or paying for tutors or Kumon. The academic success is due to good parents ensuring that their child gets an education no matter how awful the school is. The school assumes it is just due to parents being involved (providing a quiet place for homework and so on), because they really don't want to know what afterschooling or tutoring you provide. Instead of just educating the kids they have with proven methods, they decide they want to make over the parents.

[Elizabeth Conley]

My theory is that the schools notice that the children who are successful are those who have parents involved. They don't notice the parents educating behind the scenes, either by afterschooling or paying for tutors or Kumon. The academic success is due to good parents ensuring that their child gets an education no matter how awful the school is. The school assumes it is just due to parents being involved (providing a quiet place for homework and so on), because they really don't want to know what afterschooling or tutoring you provide. Instead of just educating the kids they have with proven methods, they decide they want to make over the parents.

 

Good theory. I hadn't looked at the problem from this angle. Your theory does explain some of the PS daffiness.

[Katrina J]

My theory is that the schools notice that the children who are successful are those who have parents involved. They don't notice the parents educating behind the scenes, either by afterschooling or paying for tutors or Kumon. The academic success is due to good parents ensuring that their child gets an education no matter how awful the school is. The school assumes it is just due to parents being involved (providing a quiet place for homework and so on), because they really don't want to know what afterschooling or tutoring you provide. Instead of just educating the kids they have with proven methods, they decide they want to make over the parents.

 

Sadly, that is my view exactly. You have summed it up perfectly.

 

The parents at my school are incredibly supportive doing fundraising, helping in the classrooms, organising events, building playgrounds and volunteering their expertise. They also tutor their children or pay for tutoring at Kumon and other places. I don't think parents are being pushy or unreasonable, it's just if they see their child isn't learning to read or do basic mathematics, they teach them themselves or pay someone who can. Then the school takes the credit for excellent national testing results and continues to give condescending parenting advice.

 

Sorry for the minor rant - we got a new Principal this week and she's tested my patience already.

 

It does depend on the teacher and your child's particular needs. DD4 has an excellent teacher and DD7 likes her teacher and likes going to school. If either of my children had a special need, be it academic, social, physical, behavioural or emotional I would probably have run into problems with the school by now.

[Sahamamama]

I view ps as an adversary now. The administration's powers are unchecked and are not being used for the good of the students. Their curriculum rigidity and their full inclusion movement do harm instead of good. The bias against 'advantaged' families is so obvious - charges for AP classes, no senior level classes for college bound on campus, placing the top elementary students in the mainstreamed sped classes etc. show that the politics of equality is overshadowing the law that ALL children have an appropriate education.

 

The various unions involved are operating for the good of their members..to ridiculous points that involve setting an example of drawn out arbitration rather than just getting the job done and settling a gray area afterwards. As an example, consider if a child threw up in the cafeteria at lunch. A battle between two unions will ensue as to whose job it is to clean it up while other students must walk by the mess. The next contract negotiation will include this as a line item. Then there are the teachers...working to the clock at their union's request, hiding materials from subs, threatening strikes during the school year etc etc. All this mess completely overshadows the teachers who are teaching and should be recognized for the fine job they are doing despite the politicking.

 

And let me add: IMHO mentally ill and emotionally disturbed students should not be mainstreamed. Even if there is psych support for the reg. ed. students in the class, it is earth shattering for a reg. ed. 8 year old from a functional family to bystand or be a victim to the things that go on in these classes.

 

Wow, I had NO idea it was THIS bad! Here, there are separate classes for ED/MI students, but usually these are simply Special Ed classes, with a mixture of all sorts of students -- dyslexics, neurologically impaired, speech delayed, motor delayed, and so on... all mixed in with E.D. students... a recipe for disaster (I was an aide in this type of classroom prior to having children). Nothing gets done, nothing is learned. We even had perfectly "normal" children in our classroom, whose only "problem" was coming from Guatemala -- the ESL class was full. :glare: Poor Will, I used to think. This boy was so bright, thank God, he did finally "get out" of Special Ed.

 

I'm not against S.E. classes, but they are generally a dumping ground AND a money-maker for the school -- got a child whose parents/guardians won't complain too loudly? Stick him in Special Ed. For example, many of the kids in foster care were in Spec Ed, because who's going to complain?

 

One other thing that bothered me: The special ed teachers, behind the scenes, used to call the Special Ed kids "Specks." As in, "Oh, him, yeah, he's a speck." Seriously irritating.

[Sahamamama]

I am not currently afterschooling this year as we pulled my dd at end of the year last year and my son the year before.

 

I tried like heck to be partners with the school. I volunteered in the classrooms, for the PTA, did the vision screenings, made sure my kids did homework, read every newsletters, baked cookies and treats, sent in supplies on a regular basis, went to every conference and event, etc.

 

However, the principal did not like me. First it was because I wanted evidence of differentiation and questioned curriculum that did not include: Phonics, grammar, spelling rules, math fact memorization, and scientific method (I did this in casual non-accusatory ways and I never even broached the fact that everything they did was focused on one race -90% of the books, the only history, etc.). Then, it really came down to me asking for a new teacher for my daughter in 1st grade because the one she had was just not teaching her, did not even know who she was, etc. After that, everything was hell for me. I was scheduled to be PTA President the next year. I was already President-elect and spent the year training with current PTA president. THe principal asked another mom to run against me!!!!! Then my son's IEP's were turned down all due to principal, my daughter was intentionally not give the special student awards that every student gets, and then my son started getting suspended for things like knocking off the pencil basket in an empty room when he was upset while other kids could stand on desk and moon the class, curse the teacher, throw books at teacher, hit other kids, choke other kids, knock bookcases on other kids, etc with no consequence.

 

I tried to have conferences with the specialists because that was where my son (an Aspie) seemed to have most problems adjusting but no one would came. I tried IEP every year to only be turned down. My husband was against homeschooling all this time but gave in when the principal who was the only one turning down IEP, turned to him one day and said "Why don't you all have an IEP for this kid?" Finally, after years of them accusing me of being a horrible parent everytime he displayed an Aspie trait (because they refused to work with me on recognizing his triggers and would only call me after he melted), I was set free and we moved into homeschooling.

 

I had teachers refuse to tell me my child's reading scores because it was none of my business. They would tell us at open house that our child should need no help on homework. So then they would send home homework that my child (gifted and in gifted program) couldn't do. When I would go in and tell teacher that I she is having trouble with this, I would be told with an exasperation that it is because they haven't covered this yet!!!! They kept claiming they differentiated but that meant they sent home extra projects for the kids who needed differentiation to do at home. Nothing at school except a pull-out that coincided with recess every year.

 

:grouphug: That really does sound like hell to me. Wow.

[Okra]

This is a post that brought me out from lurking.... From this post, I see that most of the replies are from homeschooling families, not families that send their children to school and afterschool.

 

I have children in PS and children that I homeschool. I see wonderful benefits in Public School, as well as the detriments. Just as I see benefits and detriments to homeschooling.

 

I would say that many homeschooling moms that I am around do not see anything good about Public school, it seems if you talk to them all the kids are going to be drinking, or doing drugs, or do not have academic excellence. What I say is the bad makes news, and no one likes to talk about the good. (In regular real life news, as well as school) My oldest daughter is in public school. She is an excellent student, she has friends that if I could have hand picked, they would be the ones, and not mixed up in the bad stuff like drugs. She wants to go to public school. Being around her friends everyday is important to her. Many homeschooling moms say that school is not about the socializing, but school is about academics. While I believe academics is superbly important, I also think what makes a person happy in life is their social relationships with others, not how smart a person is. It IS important for my oldest to be around her friends everyday, it makes her happy. She maintains this happiness while making excellent grades. We also have a wonderful relationship between us.

 

Other things I love about public school:

They have an excellent arts program. All of my children in public school are better educated in all of the arts than my homeschooled children. I tend not to make it a priority in homeschool.

 

They have an excellent music program. I like the fact that she can be in a top-quality music program.

 

I do believe that they are good in the academics. There are things that I may do in a different way, and things that I add in, but overall I am happy with the academics of the school.

 

I like that fact that I do not have to teach all of my children. I know this sounds unusual. But, I need a break sometimes! I really really do! Sometimes I feel that I am pulled in so many directions, that I am doing something for someone else all the time that I really need a few minutes for myself. Because I am not teaching all of my children, there are less people that need me. I am able to carve out 30 min. to an hour everyday that is just for ME! I need this. Without it I tend to eventually wear out and start yelling at everyone

 

There are benefits and detriments to homeschooling too. I love that we can go off on rabbit trails and learn what we want too. We can take lots of time to learn one thing. I enjoy spending time with my children that homeschool (most of the time...) I enjoy learning things in history and science that I didn't learn in school. But, I am a little disorganized in my homeschooling. Sometimes it is too easy for me to let things that are hard for me to teach slide, (like science)

 

Overall, I do not think that public schools are bad. With my children in public school I work with the school as a partnership. If my children aren't learning something to my expectations we learn it at home. At our house anytime the children want to go to public school they are welcome, and vice versa, the ones who who go to public school are welcome to come home and homeschool if they want.

[Saille]

My theory is that the schools notice that the children who are successful are those who have parents involved. They don't notice the parents educating behind the scenes, either by afterschooling or paying for tutors or Kumon. The academic success is due to good parents ensuring that their child gets an education no matter how awful the school is. The school assumes it is just due to parents being involved (providing a quiet place for homework and so on), because they really don't want to know what afterschooling or tutoring you provide.

 

ITA with this.

 

Our superintendent was once heard to remark that she disliked homeschoolers because they took good tests scores out of the district. That made me really angry. Be pleased about reduced class sizes. Do BETTER.

 

I do understand the frustration behind the contract you describe. Some of those same parents are the ones who yell the loudest if their kid's cell phone is taken away b/c they are calling their child in class. Some people need that basic education as to what constitutes reasonable behavior. They need to have at least acknowledged the basics, so that if they say, "My kid's not learning," the school can reply, "She seems really sleepy and lethargic. She keeps putting her head down on her desk. She says she's hungry and we blow half an hour each morning sending her to the nurse's office to eat a granola bar. On this contract here you agreed that a good night's sleep and breeakfast are important. Why isn't she getting those things?"

 

OTOH, I also dealt with administrators (my bosses) who were very closed off/cloistered in such a way that they were unable to understand the self-perpetuating nature of poverty. They would cluck their tongues, but failed to truly connect with parents they didn't understand. They just didn't *try*. I had a parent sit in an IEP meeting and say to them, "Yes, it's true, my kid ran wild. But I had a minimum wage job, and if he was sick or I couldn't get childcare, I got fired and had no money until I could find another minimum wage job. The people I could afford to pay to watch him wound up being untrustworthy and unsafe for him to be around. I decided it was safer to trust my son than it was to keep putting him in those situations, so he ended up watching himself." I hope that was an eye opener for at least one of them.

 

That's what really gets me tired. There's all this finger pointing at half the parents, and then the other half aren't supposed to make a fuss or want to be in their kid's classroom and see what's going on or (Maude forbid) pull their kids out and teach them themselves...the whole system is just too big, slow and complacent to live. I'm glad some sensible people in some districts are able and willing to work around the mess and make good things happen, but I imagine some of those folks' bosses are in the dark about what they do. There's gotta be a reg. against it somewhere.

[LibrarianMom]

This is a post that brought me out from lurking.... From this post, I see that most of the replies are from homeschooling families, not families that send their children to school and afterschool.

 

I have children in PS and children that I homeschool. I see wonderful benefits in Public School, as well as the detriments. Just as I see benefits and detriments to homeschooling.

 

Overall, I do not think that public schools are bad. With my children in public school I work with the school as a partnership. If my children aren't learning something to my expectations we learn it at home. At our house anytime the children want to go to public school they are welcome, and vice versa, the ones who who go to public school are welcome to come home and homeschool if they want.

 

 

Thank you for a great encouraging post!

[AuntPol]

This is a post that brought me out from lurking.... From this post, I see that most of the replies are from homeschooling families, not families that send their children to school and afterschool.

 

 

Only a homeschooling family after spending five years afterschooling.......

 

I have children in PS and children that I homeschool. I see wonderful benefits in Public School, as well as the detriments. Just as I see benefits and detriments to homeschooling.

I agree

 

What I say is the bad makes news, and no one likes to talk about the good. (In regular real life news, as well as school)

This is true for homeschooling. It's the bad ones that create the stereotype. However, my opinions on our local schools (not all schools in the world lol) was that the bad outweighed the good for my kids.

 

My oldest daughter is in public school. She is an excellent student, she has friends that if I could have hand picked, they would be the ones, and not mixed up in the bad stuff like drugs. She wants to go to public school. Being around her friends everyday is important to her. Many homeschooling moms say that school is not about the socializing, but school is about academics. While I believe academics is superbly important, I also think what makes a person happy in life is their social relationships with others, not how smart a person is. It IS important for my oldest to be around her friends everyday, it makes her happy. She maintains this happiness while making excellent grades. We also have a wonderful relationship between us.

This is great!!!!! We didn't have a good friendship base at our school. It was magnet and thus harder to coordinate out of school playdates between travel and extracurriculars. They were not good friends though -she was shunned in 4th grade because she was only girl that did not have a boyfriend (you seeing, dating started in 3rd grade here -yes actual dates and giving of expensive gifts to the girls). It was all about who was your boyfriend, what clothes you wore, etc. Totally shocked me as I didn't think we'd get to that until middle school!!! Now, my daughter has tons and tons of socialization. She has many friends and more importantly she has a couple of very close, trustworthy friends that she sees almost daily. Her friends are more based on common interests now than we happen to be the nine girls of the school's minority race in the same grade (the inability of races to mix at school drives me nuts -we don't have that issue in any other venue). Our homeschool community is so big that she doesn't have to be friends with someone just because they are homeschooled. She is happier homeschooling because she has more friend time. My son never really had friends in school. He was totally isolated and bullied because he was different. While he is not the social butterfly that my dd is, he now has a small group of friends

 

Other things I love about public school:

They have an excellent arts program. All of my children in public school are better educated in all of the arts than my homeschooled children. I tend not to make it a priority in homeschool.

 

They have an excellent music program. I like the fact that she can be in a top-quality music program.

We had excellent art program. The first art teacher we had two years was not good at all but the next two were great (the second one spectacular!!!!). The music program was good too. I was impressed. The drama teacher great though unfair in assigning roles. The dance teacher seemed talented and her shows were great but neither of my kids liked her and would not sign up for her classes. It was hard for my daughter to get in the classes she wanted though because of the way they assigned classes. My son is not missing out because he did not care for these classes anyway and he has private guitar lessons with a professional musician. My daughter is highly involved in the local theatre community and is taking Musical Theatre, Broadway dance, liturgical ballet, voice and is on two worship teams at church (preteen worship for her own age and another where she performs in the Children's church and helps them with their quarterly performances). My sister (who was a painter for Tom Clark gnomes) helps my daughter with crafts and stuff and I do art history and some art lessons but yes, they will never compare to the awesome art teacher we had at the schools.

 

I do believe that they are good in the academics. There are things that I may do in a different way, and things that I add in, but overall I am happy with the academics of the school.

Unfortunately for us, awesome art and other quality specials were not enough to make up for the lacking academics. There are some great schools as far as academics but it is hard to find the rigor that my kids needed in high poverty schools.

 

But, I need a break sometimes! I really really do! Sometimes I feel that I am pulled in so many directions, that I am doing something for someone else all the time that I really need a few minutes for myself. Because I am not teaching all of my children, there are less people that need me. I am able to carve out 30 min. to an hour everyday that is just for ME! I need this. Without it I tend to eventually wear out and start yelling at everyone

Don't we all. I am so lucky that I only have two kids, close to same age and academic level, and I have a supportive husband. My kids have a few activities that allow me some alone time. It is good that you know what you are able to handle and have a school that you can do both (I homeschooled one and afterschooled the other my first year).

 

There are benefits and detriments to homeschooling too. I love that we can go off on rabbit trails and learn what we want too. We can take lots of time to learn one thing. I enjoy spending time with my children that homeschool (most of the time...) I enjoy learning things in history and science that I didn't learn in school. But, I am a little disorganized in my homeschooling. Sometimes it is too easy for me to let things that are hard for me to teach slide, (like science)

I think it's great you can recognize your weaknesses and not fluff it off as not important! That is one of the things I get irrated with in the homeschooling community. I am very organized with homeschooling and I have kids who naturally seek out learning opportunities and they are mostly on same level so I don't have to do upteem different things so I feel very blessed. Not everyone is lucky as me.

 

Overall, I do not think that public schools are bad. With my children in public school I work with the school as a partnership. If my children aren't learning something to my expectations we learn it at home. At our house anytime the children want to go to public school they are welcome, and vice versa, the ones who who go to public school are welcome to come home and homeschool if they want.

There are some great public schools and some bad ones. There are great teachers and bad ones. We have experienced a great teacher. One of those teachers that should have a movie! And we have experienced a really bad one -one that really should be removed from working with children. My dream was to be a partner but the school would not allow it. The school was anti-parent and you can't have a partnership that way. I do have friends who have very parent friendly schools and it works for them. In fact, the principal before the one we dealt with was very pro-parent and after a year with the new principal, many of the magnet families jumped ship so to speak because she changed the whole atmosphere of the school and instilled a whole new set of rules to make it harder for parents to be active in the school. (and thus the scores went from 90% passing EOG to less than 50% passing). Edited October 27, 2009 by AuntPol
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[AuntPol]

 

There are so many other things that, as a homeschooling parent, I see as intrusive into family & community life (which also have educational value). For example, removing a child from school for ANY family activity will be an unexcused (:confused: by whom?) absence -- even if the family goes to Washington! Or to a Broadway play! Or the Grand Canyon! And if we do go, we need to "request the make up work at least one, preferably two, weeks in advance." Gotta get those worksheets on canyons....

 

Last year, I put in a request for my daughter to have an excused absense to attend a special event at a battleground an hour away. It was a historical reenactment plus lots of hands on activities. It fit into the 4th grade NC History standards. The day chosen was a half day of school already. Half days are wasted already -they would get math and lunch done. My daughter was in gifted program and certainly not behind. We are not a family that just takes day out of school willy nilly (as opposed to the many failing kids that seemed to never be in school). The principal turned down my request.

 

Something else that jumps out at me is how incredibly condescending the "teacher-ese" is towards parents -- lectures to parents about the importance of homework, lectures to parents about a child's need to "discover fundamental principles of mathematics," lectures to parents about "keeping school fun and fresh," lectures to parents on how dress their children for school, advice/requirements on what to read over the summer "break," advice/requirments on how to stay cool, get exercise, and not watch television all summer!

 

Yes, our newsletters (the rare ones that we got lol) did not contain, we are working on this or that but reminders that kids need water bottles, coats, feed kids breakfast, etc. I know that most of the parents at this school were not so great (we were a 70% FAR school) but you know that the parents who didn't care enough to do that were not reading the newsletter anyway. My principal actually told me "We're the experts, you're just a parent". Apparantly parents can't notice patterns of behavior and recognize triggers, can't read books, talk to doctors, therapists, taken classes, etc and should trust experts who have never even heard of the word Aspergers, never had a class on it, read a book on it, etc (as admitted to me by the teachers).

[Tullia]

This is a post that brought me out from lurking.... From this post, I see that most of the replies are from homeschooling families, not families that send their children to school and afterschool.

 

However, we were genuine afterschoolers at one time. And, I see quite a few posts in this thread from people who are, indeed, current afterschoolers who are coping with less than ideal situations. My family had about 2 1/2 years of great experiences with afterschooling before things became not so great. As I mentioned in my post, it's easy to have a great experience so long as you don't find yourself in a major disagreement with the school. I'm truly happy that both you and LibraryMom have better situations, and hope that you continue to be satisfied with your relationships with your schools. :)

 

I do take exception to the implication I've seen in a couple of posts that folks' dissatisfaction with the schools is rooted in an attitudinal problem or that the folks posting are really homeschoolers in fact or "at heart". My sense is that these responses are rooted in genuine experiences which, thankfully, you have not experienced. It's not really possible to generalize from a small number of cases, good or bad, in any case. The OP posed the dichotomy of adversary/partner and it seems to me that she's gotten answers reflecting both views Trying to word this gently, but I think the best function of questions like these isn't about validating one side or the other; it's about understanding options more fully.

 

There is no single best answer to questions like these. Any choice you make will have challenges of one sort or another. Schools vary. People vary. Personal experiences vary. I did NOT want to hs full time, but was backed into a corner by circumstances so I guess you can call me a former afterschooler and accidental homeschool mom.

 

So, imagine here that you are able see my gray hair and the bifocals perched on the end of my nose typing this post from the vantage point of having had several years to reflect on the fact that there is no perfect educational choice. To those of you who desire a good working relationship with your public school, I truly believe that it's possible to have a genuine partnership. However, what you might want to glean from the "we think the school is more of an adversary" posts is that things can and do change over time, and that at some point you may be faced with having to compromise your own principles in order to maintain the relationship with your school. State education departments may impose new mandates, principals change, school boards change, and teachers will vary from year to year. I found that each year afterschooling changed, became more complicated, and more difficult to implement. That was true quite apart from the other issues that caused me to throw up my hands and try something else.

 

Just my two cents and the pair o' pennies are a bit tarnished with age :D,

Martha

Edited October 27, 2009 by Martha in NM
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[Spy Car]

We are in the very fortunate position of having our son in kindergarten at one of the best public elementary schools in Los Angeles. So we are blessed there and I understand our experience isn't necessarily the "norm" (especially in our district, which has some serious problems at-large).

 

We also have a lovely, intelligent, enthusiastic teacher with 32 years of experience who obviously loves her job and inspires the kids. What's not to like?

 

Well a few things. I want phonics stressed more than the school-district does (although the teacher brings in phonics of her own) and I want math taught deeply, so those things I make sure we cover at home.

 

But I'm thrilled for the enthusiasm for learning that is inspired at school. And I'm happy that our teacher has many methods and modes of teaching that I do not.

 

The school is very open to parent volunteers, and my wife (particularly) is very active in his class. And the parents generally financially support the enrichment programs that have been trimmed elsewhere.

 

And my son is a very social child who thrives on interaction with other children.

 

So for us this is a very happy partnership. I never thought my responsibility for my sons education ended when we drop him off at school.

 

I'm sure I could be a lot more frustrated at a failing school. No doubt about it, but for now we seem to have the best of both worlds.

 

Bill

[outdoorgirls]

I have one child in public school (sixth grade) and one in private. We are avid afterschoolers which began as a desire to share my love of reading with my girls. Both started at Montessori school and the oldest has been in ps since fourth grade. It is a small 1-8 school with less than 200 students. The teachers are caring and very responsive to parents concerns. My oldest has struggled in grammar and math. While I am not thrilled with the math program (and we do afterschool math) they have gone out of their way to provide free extra help and suggestions for outside help. Her teachers are actually encouraging her to learn latin with the thought that this may be beneficial to her grammar skills as she does not seem to be responding to the way they teach grammar. Of course now I have to either afterschool latin or outsource it but I do appreciate their insight and their ability to recognize that all children will not learn best from the materials taught in the classroom.

 

While I would love to homeschool my youngest; I could not imagine homeschooling my oldest without constant frustration on both our parts. And add into the fact that I work full-time. For now ps works for her and is something that we re-evaluate on a yearly basis (with the other option being private school).

 

Her ps has an active band that she loves playing in. I (and she) love the science lab. She has a few close friends that she socializes with outside of school. The girls are nice and respectful. The school is outside of a medium size city and does not have some of the concerns that larger and city schools may have.

 

Overall I am happy with the school. I realize that as my child is in public school there are some things that I cannot change such as curriculum choices and class offerings. However, knowing that her current and previous teachers are responsive to our views and are open to outside options has helped.

 

Carolyn

[MBM]

We have dealt with some public schools that are adversaries and others that are partners.

 

I can empathize with parents who are frustrated with their public (or private) schools. We had a few bad experiences with former schools and attempting to work with them didn't help. We opted to use private schools instead, and the two we used were excellent.

 

My youngest's present private school is a dream. I absolutely love what they teach and the people who run it.

 

Now I must go knock on some wood!

[Ruthie]

I escrow my own property taxes, so when I am writing out a check for thousands of dollars paid to the order of the school district, I must admit I HATE THEM :glare:.

 

But they are nice and well organized. They've never lost my paperwork and are fairly encouraging.

 

Ruthie

[Ravin]

I'm not against S.E. classes, but they are generally a dumping ground AND a money-maker for the school -- got a child whose parents/guardians won't complain too loudly? Stick him in Special Ed. For example, many of the kids in foster care were in Spec Ed, because who's going to complain?

 

My mom.

 

My mom would probably describe her relationship with the PS's as adversarial. She's been butting heads with the special ed programs since my bio sisters (turning 30 this year) were in elementary school. For me (more on the gifted end), she did a lot of outsourcing: G/T camp and Saturday gifted programs at the local university, private school for 3 years in a self-paced program, even sending me off to an concurrent study program. She could usually win arguments with the PS related to me--like getting me out of taking keyboarding my senior year of high school so I could take computer and graduate with honors.

 

But for my sisters? It was a fight over every idiocy. The junior high had a very good resource program that helped them a lot. High school was another matter. Both wound up dropping out, one getting her GED when she found out she wouldn't graduate until she was 21. This same girl wasn't allowed to take more than two years of art, her favorite subject and in which she was talented, because the last two years were "honors" courses and she couldn't take an honors course while being in resource English.

 

As a foster parent, mom has gotten into even more battles with the schools. Things like trying to get a pg teenager the two courses she needs to graduate on time, and being told she'll have to attend a full year of high school full-time to do so. They had to drive into Amarillo (20 mi. each way) to an alternative program for her. They're adopting two little ones, and my mom has told me she wants to home-school them, or maybe use a virtual school now that TX has one available statewide. She has no trust in the public schools.

 

She does keep fighting, though. My 17yo. FS proudly told me that this year (her jr year) she's in completely mainstream classes. I guarantee that woudn't have happened if my mom hadn't started advocating and fighting for her from the day she started high school. This is a girl who speaks English as a second language (though fluently at this point), didn't start school at all until age 9, and has some LD issues related to her CP and some emotional issues related to her background, but is of normal intelligence (based on having actual conversations with her once you get to know her) absolutely loves history and needs to go to college if she's to have a shot at any kind of good life. Her disability means unskilled manual labor isn't really a career option, yk?

 

We ourselves have a partner relationship, sort of. DD is in an enrichment program run by the Mesa school district. We have no relationship whatsoever with the school district we actually live in, though. Our only contact with them was when DD was evaluated for preschool. She was in EI speech therapy, but had made enough progress that they evaluated her as not qualifying for preschool, so that was that.

[mich311e]

We try to be a partner. Granted, this is our first year - kindergarten.

 

I admire home schooling but won't ever be a homeschooler, I work full time. I hang out here because I just want to supplement and be involved with my child's education.

 

So far we're 2 months into school and it's been a good experience for us. :-)