Spoke to the husband about hsing...

[Homemaker]

Alright, to give a quick background, I have been thinking about hsing for a couple months and really think it is something to do for our kids (4, 2, 11m) and I finally spoke to the hubsand about it tonight. I thought I would for sure get an automatic "no" and then that would have to be the end of it, but he said there is a "1 1/2 percent chance that he would go for homeschooling" and that he would think about it. So, I know it doesn't sound like much, but I am happy and encouraged he is at least willing to think about it.

He said his main concerns are that all the homeschool kids he knew growing up were weird and didn't know how to act in social situations. Also he says he would be concerned that our kids wouldn't know how to act in a group setting, how not to be the center of attention, participating in sports and music, and that I would get burnt out.

He said he also wants to see EVERYTHING, like currirculum and everything and how I would do it.

Does anyone have any advice? Any articles (short perferably) that I show him about the benefits? Anyone else been in the same situation?

Thanks so much.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I'm in the same situation right now. Dh said all the same things yours said. We've agreed to afterschooling for now, but I'm showing him how lame their school work is, and hopefully he'll come around.

 

Best of luck with your dh.

[Rosie_0801]

1 1/2% is good. You can work with that :D

 

Start with The Well Trained Mind, and grab his arm with "How cool is this?!!!" as often as you feel inspired.

 

I basically wore my hubby out with all my research. He eventually concluded that there was no way I could make too horrible a mess of anything when I had done so much thinking and researching, and was able to inflict long and well thought out answers upon him whenever he thought to venture a question.

 

For his current concerns:

1. Everyone is considered weird by someone else. Obviously your kids won't grow up to be weird in your husband's eyes because he will socialise them properly ;)

2. They'll learn how to act in group settings because they will go to family events, scouts, sport, dancing, Ren Faires, Saturday School, co-ops, playgrounds and all that sort of stuff. You said in another thread that your husband is a pastor? A lot of socialisation goes on at church, huh?

3. I don't think a child is going to have problems learning not to be the centre of attention when they have siblings. They'll get plenty of practise!

4. Access to sports and music are not limited to schools, and opportunity won't necessarily make them like those activities, and few people around are proficient at many instruments or many sports (if any.)

5. Burnout isn't limited to homeschoolers either. While I haven't been there or done that yet, I'm guessing it's easier to change your homeschooling methods than it is to find a new job or revitalise a marriage. Anyway, there are plenty of people here to give you their best burnout prevention tips and pat you on the back when it happens anyway.

 

Remember, enthusiasm is infectious, mwahahahahah!

 

:)

Rosie

[Colleen in NS]

Start with The Well Trained Mind, and grab his arm with "How cool is this?!!!" as often as you feel inspired.

 

:iagree:

 

And there is this: http://www.welltrainedmind.com/store/the-joy-of-classical-education-introduction-to-classical-education-at-home-mp3.html

 

And the first few articles here: http://www.welltrainedmind.com/getting-started/

 

Then go explore the other audio downloads or CDs from Peace Hill Press, if he's willing to listen to something.

[melissel]

Alright, to give a quick background, I have been thinking about hsing for a couple months and really think it is something to do for our kids (4, 2, 11m) and I finally spoke to the hubsand about it tonight. I thought I would for sure get an automatic "no" and then that would have to be the end of it, but he said there is a "1 1/2 percent chance that he would go for homeschooling" and that he would think about it. So, I know it doesn't sound like much, but I am happy and encouraged he is at least willing to think about it.

He said his main concerns are that all the homeschool kids he knew growing up were weird and didn't know how to act in social situations. Also he says he would be concerned that our kids wouldn't know how to act in a group setting, how not to be the center of attention, participating in sports and music, and that I would get burnt out.

He said he also wants to see EVERYTHING, like currirculum and everything and how I would do it.

Does anyone have any advice? Any articles (short perferably) that I show him about the benefits? Anyone else been in the same situation?

Thanks so much.

 

Have him read anything by John Taylor Gatto. Find yourself a playgroup and some activities to stave off the inevitable "What about the socialization?" argument? Find your local HS groups and get involved, if you can, or regale him with tales of what will be there for you when your kids are older. And since your kids are little, explain that kindergarten will be the perfect HSing test year, because if you blow it (and you totally won't!), you really haven't wasted anything and can just enroll for first grade :D This is how I convinced my DH, who was so not into the idea of HSing.

 

Oh, and if you have any friends with kids in the PS system, transmit any horror stories they tell you directly to your DH. My best friend has kept me HSing my telling me awful stories about her two kids' experiences in PS (because she wants me to keep HSing and wishes she could herself). And her DH, who was not at all supportive of HS, recently went to the first Back to School night he'd been to in awhile, and he was so totally outraged at what he heard that suddenly, HSing seemed like a great idea!

Edited October 7, 2009 by melissel
The wrong John!

[Joker]

Have him read John Gatto. My dh said they are never again to go to school after reading two of his books. Good luck!

[Guest Alte Veste Academy]

if you have any friends with kids in the PS system, transmit any horror stories they tell you directly to your DH.

 

My DH has always been 100% on board primarily because I worked as a Social Worker in local schools before we had kids. I saw the horror stories first hand, and retold each night at dinner. Socialization is in the top five of my list of reasons for keeping my kids home!

[Amy loves Bud]

When my oldest was 4 I pulled hiim out of preeschool because of the frequent illnesses traveling through our family. I really had no intention of homeschooling at that point, though it had crossed my mind. I started using Five in a Row to finish out that year of preschool with plans to re-enroll him the next year.

 

When my husband, who thought homeschoolers were "religious, hippie, freaks" saw what I was doing, he was thrilled and said, "No one ever did anything like that with me!"

 

We've been religious, hippie freaks ever since!

 

Seriously, start now with simple, engaging educational activities and let him see what homeschool can be! Nothing can sell a parent on something better than seeing the benefits to their own children, no?

[hornblower]

In my family, the person who goes through all the trouble of doing research and becomes the 'subject matter expert' (SME) gets to make ultimate decisions. You can apply this method to all sorts of things - cars, big screen tv's, nutrition, vaccination, coffee makers......

 

Realistically sometimes the other person doesn't care about the issue so you become default SME and decision maker. With things like parenting etc, both of you are hopefully equally invested in the decision maker so both should be doing research and thinking about this & coming from a position of real knowledge.

 

I'd give your dh a copy of Family Matters by David Gutterson.

 

IME, reluctant dh's respond to this book because it's written by a man who has also worked as a ps teacher - these things carry weight for men, I think. Let your dh read that & some selected readings from SWB.

 

Ask him to read the materials and THEN agree to time to discuss the issue. If he says he doesn't have time or can't make time to read the materials - well then, you end up the decision maker because you've done the most research and thinking about it.

[Heidi @ Mt Hope]

I agree, start now and he'll have lots of time to warm up to the idea. :)

[DarlaS]

Family Matters: Why Homeschooling Makes Sense

 

(Guterson has one t. :001_smile:)

[dhudson]

My dh was against the idea of hs'ing - he wanted only private school. I begged him to go to a convention and then taught my ds to read at 3. By the time my ds was 5 my dh was sold on hs'ing because he saw how much the kids were learning in a short amount of time while being taught how to behave and act properly. Now, he is hs'ing biggest proponent, he talks about it more than I do.

 

Start teaching now and show him how well it can be done as still maintain home and chores. Have him really look into what the ps is teaching and look at testing stats. Does socialization mean being bullied, learning about sex at 5 or 6, being offered drugs in late elementary, talking about the choice of homosexuality in K or 1st? I can put mine in community sports and allow them to be around a group setting and learn how to handle other kids without them being traumatized with all that's happening in a ps setting.

[s.z.ichigo]

Buy this book as well. It will OUTRAGE anyone who reads it. http://www.amazon.com/Dumbing-Down-Our-Kids-Themselves/dp/0312148232

[Cera]

The socialization issue was a big deal to my husband as well. We have found some great day camps during school breaks. This week public school kids have a week off and we are taking mornings off from school so that she can attend a pottery day camp. She gets the time with peers, time in a classroom setting to learn to follow directions and listen to a teacher, etc and my husband is happy that she is "normal."

[sparrow]

Have him read John Gatto. My dh said they are never again to go to school after reading two of his books. Good luck!

 

:iagree: My dh was completely on board after reading Gatto!

[brehon]

Socialization is in the top five of my list of reasons for keeping my kids home!

 

:iagree::iagree: If you/your dh hasn't read Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More than Peers I **highly** suggest you check it out of your library. It's not necessarily a pro-homeschool book (although it certainly isn't anti-homeschool). It does indirectly present a great argument for home education.

 

Negative peer interaction is truly one of the reasons we educate our kids at home.

[sunshine]

Take him to your states largest Curriculum Fair. He will be shocked to see how many people homeschool, what is available, what homeschoolers look like and then take him to your local public school, especially middle and high school. That ought to do it.

[Guest Alte Veste Academy]

:iagree::iagree: If you/your dh hasn't read Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More than Peers I **highly** suggest you check it out of your library. It's not necessarily a pro-homeschool book (although it certainly isn't anti-homeschool). It does indirectly present a great argument for home education.

 

 

 

Now I'll agree with you. :001_smile:

 

That is a great book. I keep it in my personal Homeschool Beginner Library to loan to friends when they begin to consider HS. The Well-Adjusted Child: The Social Benefits of Homeschooling is good too.

[Peela]

My husband agreed to a 6 month trial. He had all the same concerns as your dh.

He was sold within weeks.

I cant remember where I found all the info but I googled and found articles on the benefits of homeschooling - not long articles, just readable ones- and printed them and put them on the kitchen table. Dh saw how totally keen I was and went for the trial.

The first thing I did as a new homeschooler was sort out their social life. It can take work and dedicaiton to get that part right, jsut as much as teh acadeics. I dont think dhs who are concerned about this are altogether unreasonable...but depending on the resources you have available, it can quickly become a non issue.

 

Only weeks into our 6 month trial, he was my best supporter and has been ever since...even when I have felt maybe we should be more open to highschool as an option.

 

Good luck. Meet each of your dh's concerns with some informaiton, and reassurance that you dont want your kids to grow up freaks either. If its the social side he is concerned about, do the research.

[Reya]

Homeschoolers who were weird would have been weird no matter what. More "out-of-the-box" people homeschool than non-out-of-the-box people, percentage-wise, and out-of-the-box people often come across as weird to others. Unconventionality leads to a rejection of standard answers just because they are easy. And that's not a bad thing. Everyone's weird to someone. I'm weird to many because I want to teach my kids to their level, not to minimal grade-level expectations. Some people literally can't comprehend that. And far from being socially crippling, a certain indifference to the opinions of others allows a person to be better than mediocrity. Are there odd duck homeschoolers? Sure. But there are odd ducks everywhere--and they would be odd ducks anywhere!--and there are also far, far worse things to be. Besides, if your kids can get along with odd ducks, they can get along with anyone, right?

 

>Also he says he would be concerned that our kids wouldn't know how to act in a group setting, how not to be the center of attention, participating in sports and music,

 

Um. Right. My 6-y-o is doing Suzuki violin, is in a swim conditioning club (and qualified for the team) two days a week, has gymnastics one day a week, and does AWANA and Cub Scouts. He's also been in soccer and ballet in the past, as well as ballroom. And he's in a math club, too. Oh, and he went to FOUR day camps last summer--science, space, Spanish, and the Y.

 

Here's a interesting data point: Of all the kids in AWANA last year who got the "achievers outing," usually 9 of the 11 (on average) were homeschooled. The total homeschooling rate at that AWANA couldn't have been 50%.

 

So clearly, they had NO idea how to act in a group, right?

 

 

>I would get burnt out.

 

Could be. Depends on how much he supports you, now doesn't it?

 

>He said he also wants to see EVERYTHING, like currirculum and everything and how I would do it.

 

*shrugs* I still show DH everything, when he asks.

 

I'd suggest, just to make it easy to begin, that you start with Sonlight and RightStart Math with workboxes. Or you could use RS with Explode the Code and some of the basic readers, with "living lit" books for historical events and Let's Read and Find Out as an organizational tool for K-level science. He'd probably freak out if you only did math and reading--which is really all kids need--in K.