SW in IL Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 We're a week from leaving to spend a month with friends in Arkansas... Some 750 miles each way. I had planned on driving to make this a very cheap trip as my 2xb is refusing to help pay for any of it. I was seriously planning on doing this on a real budget... $50 for gas and as many sandwiches and drinks as we could fit in the cooler. Today I took my car to the mechanic because it just hasn't felt right. The car is still there as he tinkers away trying to nail down the problem with that. He's already found enough other problems to recommend that we not drive to (and from, of course) Arkansas. The brake lines are shot, the rack and pinion steering is leaking and ready to give out, and some other stuff. Just to fix that stuff is over a thousand dollars. x2b is possibly willing to fork out the thousand dollars to get the car fixed but we've already put around 2k into the car since July and at least $500 in the months before that. So, he says this is the end of what he's willing to sink into it. The mechanic's advice... Drive the car locally (no more than 20 miles or so per outing) until it absolutely has to be fixed to go any more and then junk it. The catch for me is that the car has hand controls in it just so that I can drive it more than 20 or so miles at a stretch. My daughter lives just over 100 miles away and some 30 miles into the drive, my legs get so tired that I have to switch to the hand controls. It's going to cost around $500 just to have the hand controls taken out of this car and reinstalled in something else. Plus, I don't really have much use for a car that can only be driven locally. I don't do much local driving... not in the 20 miles/trip sense anyway. My dearest friend is 22 miles one way; my dentist is 28 miles one way; my son's diabetes doctor is 17 miles one way... I can go on and on. Almost anything close enough that I'd be able to drive the car to/from is probably close enough to walk to in the first place. x2b will not help purchase a new car. His suggestion is to call of the trip to Arkansas, cash in my IRA (a bit under 4 thousand dollars), and buy a new (used) car. But the last few cars we've had have all been like that. $3k to $10k to buy a car that lasts 2-3 years before needing major repairs. I'm sick and tired of buying someone else's headache. On the other hand, I need a car that I can drive. My thought is to take a train down to Arkansas, get away from all this and figure out what to do next. But x2b won't pitch in for the train ticket. BTW, I have no other income except for whatever x2b throws my way. I'm disabled and have pretty much never worked outside the home. Grrrr.... What would you do? Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Is there any way your friend can visit you? If not, as much as it sucks, I would stay home. We've had the issue with cars before and inevitably that is the time something goes wrong with it. If your local and that happens at least you could call someone you know to help. If you're between home and Arkansas that could only add more stress. I also would rec against cashing in your IRA. You're going to end up owing taxes on that amount and that is a big pain at tax time. Can you treat yourself in some other way? If things are that tight financially I would not take a long distance trip with an iffy car. BTDT, so :grouphug:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I'd stay home. It doesn't sound like you're in any position to be traveling. You'd pay way more than $50 for gasoline for a 1500 mile round trip, not to mention the additional driving once you got there. Either have your friend come visit you, or wait until things are better financially. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I agree with what has been said. With the IRA, by the time you pay the penalties and taxes for cashing it out, you'll have a lot less that $4,000 from which to buy a car with. I'm thinking you'd have closer to $3,000 or less. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 (edited) I'd stay home. But I also may may be missing important info as I can't figure out any of the bxff stbxz etc abbreviations in your post. Edited September 23, 2009 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I agree with what has been said. With the IRA, by the time you pay the penalties and taxes for cashing it out, you'll have a lot less that $4,000 from which to buy a car with. I'm thinking you'd have closer to $3,000 or less. It's an automatic 20% taxation, plus, depending on who it's with, a 10% penalty. You'll lose $1200 right at the start. (This info was what I was told by my tax preparer when we were discussing IRA's and early withdrawl). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I would not make this trip, sorry to say. You will spend waaaaay more than $50 on gas there and back. Also you will lose too much cashing your IRA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillary in KS Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 :iagree: Yup. I'm agreeing with others here. Were it me, I would choose to stay home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SW in IL Posted September 23, 2009 Author Share Posted September 23, 2009 I'm tending to agree about the trip... The $50 would have been enough for gas (we did it last time and gas was more expensive) but I don't trust the car to make it there and back. But what should I do about having a car in general? I need a car to be able to see my daughter, to get myself and ds to various doctor appointments, etc. And the car has to have hand controls in it (which my old clunker does) so I can't just borrow a friend's/relative's car to go places. If it were you, would you put a thousand bucks into this old thing? We put almost $2000 into it in July and that money only bought us about 1500 miles and 2 months of driving. I definitely can't afford to put $1k and have it only last for a month before it needs another thousand and then another. But the only option, it seems, would be to cash out the IRA and try to find something more reliable. x2b (ex-to-be; my husband and I are separated), isn't going to help after this. <sigh> Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacie Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I'm tending to agree about the trip... The $50 would have been enough for gas (we did it last time and gas was more expensive) but I don't trust the car to make it there and back. But what should I do about having a car in general? I need a car to be able to see my daughter, to get myself and ds to various doctor appointments, etc. And the car has to have hand controls in it (which my old clunker does) so I can't just borrow a friend's/relative's car to go places. If it were you, would you put a thousand bucks into this old thing? We put almost $2000 into it in July and that money only bought us about 1500 miles and 2 months of driving. I definitely can't afford to put $1k and have it only last for a month before it needs another thousand and then another. But the only option, it seems, would be to cash out the IRA and try to find something more reliable. x2b (ex-to-be; my husband and I are separated), isn't going to help after this. <sigh> Sue Wow, you have a clunker that gets 60-ish mpg? What does your mechanic say about how long the car will last with the latest repairs? If you can get another 20K miles out of it you may consider making the repairs. In the meantime, drive it locally for as long as you can while you come up with the money for a replacement. Driving it should buy you a little more time to think about it, hopefully. Do you trust your mechanic, or do you feel like a second opinion may be a better plan? If you need another opinion on it, perhaps someone from your church can recommend a good honest one or maybe there's even a good one there willing to help you out a little. I'm sorry you're in a tough spot and will send you good thoughts! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Wow, you have a clunker that gets 60-ish mpg? :001_huh: Wow, if I had a car like that it would be worth putting a little money into it. Is this for real?? :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Stay home and do not cash out the IRA... bad move. So sorry to hear of your situation. You may have to have friends visit you? That car sounds dangerous. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
st_claire Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 If the body is rust free it is almost always more affordable to repair the car until the engine goes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConnieB Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Sounds more like it's time to invest in an attorney so that you can get a financial support order. No one should have the depend on "whatever x2b throws my way". Have your attorney work the cost of a new (to you) vehicle into the support....either by requesting that EX pay for a vehicle that is safe for your child to be driven to his doctor/dental appointments or that your spousal/child support be high enough for YOU to pay for it. Very common. And before you talk about not being able to afford an attorney....many many attorneys will take a case of a non-income spouse knowing that the court will award the attorney fees in any settlement. Either your fees would be paid by your EX (most common) or they would be dealt with through your receiving liquid assets with which to pay the attorney. Call your local State Bar for a few referrals. As for the trip...I agree, this may not be the right time for it (even if emotionally you could really use it). You need to get your financial life in order, get some support coming in so that YOU can decide what to do with your own money, not your EX. Once you've had a chance to get that part of your life in order, then plan an inexpensive trip to visit your friend. If you are lucky and get to an attorney very soon, you could probably have a support payment or two under your belt before the holidays.....a wonderful time to visit friends. Take them the gift of your friendship (and maybe some homemade yummies). True friends won't need anything more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Sounds more like it's time to invest in an attorney so that you can get a financial support order. No one should have the depend on "whatever x2b throws my way". Have your attorney work the cost of a new (to you) vehicle into the support....either by requesting that EX pay for a vehicle that is safe for your child to be driven to his doctor/dental appointments or that your spousal/child support be high enough for YOU to pay for it. Very common. And before you talk about not being able to afford an attorney....many many attorneys will take a case of a non-income spouse knowing that the court will award the attorney fees in any settlement. Either your fees would be paid by your EX (most common) or they would be dealt with through your receiving liquid assets with which to pay the attorney. Call your local State Bar for a few referrals. This is what I am thinking as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 For the hand controls, etc. you might be able to get your medical insurance or other social service agency to help pay for that part if it is a medical condition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 hi - when i couldn't afford a car as a single mom, i crunched the numbers and discovered that it was cheaper to use cabs when needed. there are even folks, especially in this economic climate, who are willing to drive you in their car for a fixed price (thinking of a trip to your daughter's). grocery stores will deliver for a price. you can use a lot of cabs + delivery services for the amount of money you are looking at. its not a popular choice here in the USA, but is more common in canada and england. it feels odd at first to not be "self-sufficient".... as if any of us really are! fwiw, ann ps. my problem is an arm that doesn't work so well, and is Very Painful, so there are huge lengths of time when i can't drive at all.... 100 miles is usually right out of the question. it helped change my perspective on cars and driving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SW in IL Posted September 23, 2009 Author Share Posted September 23, 2009 750 miles divided by 30mpg (highway, which is what she gets) = 25 gallons of gas. 25 gallons of gas x 2.50/gallon (we paid $2.539 here a few days ago and gas down their way is at least 20 cents cheaper than here) = $62.50. My "clunker" has a full tank of gas... I'll fill up in Missouri which normally costs me $35 to $40 and leaves me with about 1/4 of a tank of gas when we get there. Yes, I'll have to do some driving while we're there, but we usually take their van on outings and they pay the gas. So, it's is usual for us to get down there on $50 for gas. We usually do it on under $100 for gas and meals. I don't have the money to hire a lawyer and legal aid will only step in to "defend" me once my husband files. But he doesn't want to file (probably because he's pretty certain that he'll be ordered to pay spousal support). I did talk to a couple of lawyers but since my 2bx-husband works very sporadically (he was unemployed for over a year before taking a contract job last summer which ends in December or January) and since he doesn't have any savings to speak of, no lawyer is keen to take the case on. The court isn't going to make him pay support if he doesn't have a job and if there's no earnings to garnish, the lawyers won't get paid either. He (husband) doesn't care if he works or not. If he's not working, he gets free housing through the VA and free meals while living in VA housing (he has a history of mental illness -- which I didn't find out about until long after we were married. He just stores all his stuff in a friend's garage and is perfectly happy living basically as an inmate. When he gets bored, he looks for another short contract to go work on and repeats the process. Plus, DS is not his biological child, so even though I can prove that he's financially supported us for years (until he walked out on us back in 2003, since then the money's been sporadic at best) the courts won't order child support. Man, I hate trying to deal with our legal system with all its ins and outs and loopholes. I have pretty much decided not to fix the old car. At the rate we're going, the $1000 will only keep it going for a month or two. I'm wondering if I can sell it. The engine was replaced a few months ago (with a rebuilt engine) so that right there should be worth something. The body is in fairly good shape with just the beginning of rust around the wheel wells. If someone was handy enough to do things like the brake lines, rack and pinion steering and the boot, and then follow up with whatever crops up next, she could probably (with enough time and money) once again be a reliable clunker that gets good gas mileage (around 24 city, 30 highway). She's nothing much to look at, but until about a year ago she was reliable and pretty easy on the wallet. At this point, though, I'm not going to have the money to keep putting into her and I'd like to try to recoup some of what I've already invested. Thanks for all the thoughts, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdeveson Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 Can you get a part time job to raise the cash to buy something a little better than a clunker? I understand needing a car that's reliable. Throwing more money into this one sounds wasteful. I'd raise the cash for a new one and not put anything more into the one you have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdeveson Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 I don't have the money to hire a lawyer and legal aid will only step in to "defend" me once my husband files. But he doesn't want to file (probably because he's pretty certain that he'll be ordered to pay spousal support). Then you file and get the show on the road. Your x2b needs to step up and meet his obligations towards his child(ren). He has abandoned you and the kids -- this is as good a time to file as any. I don't know about your state, but here where I live, Legal Aid will help you file your divorce if you have kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alessandra Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 (edited) Does x2b mean you are getting divorced? Your x2b may have a legal obligation to provide you with certain necessities. I think cashing out the IRA is not a good idea at all -- but, if you did, make sure first that it would not count as marital property. In any case, do not co-mingle IRA proceeds with other funds. (Also, it looks as though IRAs can be converted into Roth IRAs in 2010 without a penalty.) I know it's a hard step, but you should probably start calling various social services agencies in your county. Keep a record of your calls, get the first names of people you talk to, end a conversation by asking if you can call back if the next agency can't help. Edited September 24, 2009 by Alessandra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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