cdrumm4448 Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 I sometimes get the sneaking feeling he really loves saving the thousands of dollars we were paying for private school tuition, and that is the main reason he agrees to homeschool. But, in the end, I get to do what I think is right either way. Does it matter to you why your husband agrees? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosy Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 It does matter, because I want to make sure that his desires for our kids are being met (or at least addressed). Like if he was only in it to save money, I'd be making sure I didn't spend 10k on books and a fabulous school room every year. :D Fortunately for us, our reasons overlap enough that we're both happy with our decision. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 It does matter, because I want to make sure that his desires for our kids are being met (or at least addressed). Like if he was only in it to save money, I'd be making sure I didn't spend 10k on books and a fabulous school room every year. :D Fortunately for us, our reasons overlap enough that we're both happy with our decision. :) Hm, my original answer was, "No, it doesn't matter," but Rosy made a great point here. Beyond that, I don't think I'd care much. In your case, for example, beyond meeting DH's needs in terms of saving money, as long as he believed I was giving the kids as good an education (or better!) as the fancy private school could, I'd feel fine with my own convictions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 (edited) Dh started off agreeing, simply because he leaves the kids in my hands. As long as they are NOT starting cults (so says dh) then he figures I know what I'm doing... Now, it's because HIS son is learning Greek, HIS son is learning Latin, HIS son has a better grasp on world history than most adults, HIS son is learning how to learn. :lol: It gives me the warm fuzzies knowing that he's okay with homeschooling (now) because he really truly believes our ds is better off. Edited September 14, 2009 by lionfamily1999 ETA, because that particular NOT was very important :rofl: @ myself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 I think nearly all of us who home school have multiple reasons for doing so. One reason or another may be primary, but that doesn't mean the other reasons aren't important. *My* top three reasons might not overlap perfectly with my husband's top three, but if we mapped out our overall philosophy it would match pretty closely. If I were still going to be a stay-at-home-mom even if the kids were in an expensive private school *or* they were going to be home schooled, I'm sure my husband would find the savings one "pro" about home schooling. ;) I would too! Not our top reason, but still a nice perk. But it wouldn't bother me if our reasons aren't prioritized in exactly the same order, as long as overall we're on the same page for the way we raise and educate our kiddos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillfarm Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 I agree that dh's reasons matter in that they are his children too and I do my best to address his top priorities in addition to mine, which are often similar if not identical. Dh's reasons matter more to me on a long term basis rather than a day to day basis. kWIM? He doesn't really care how many math pages or which curriculum I choose but he does want a foreign language and likes that I teach for mastery not grades. I am always nervous about questions like this because I always reverse the roles in my mind to determine if it matters. Would it matter to me if dh decided how we were going to homeschool and did not consider my top priorities? You bet your sweet bottom it would! I try to provide equal access to parenting our child even though I am the one charged with most of the day to day application of that parenting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica in PA Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 I sometimes get the sneaking feeling he really loves saving the thousands of dollars we were paying for private school tuition, and that is the main reason he agrees to homeschool. But, in the end, I get to do what I think is right either way. Does it matter to you why your husband agrees? Yes, it matters to me. It's important to me that dh and I are in this for the same reasons. It matters to me that dh bases his decisions about major issues like homeschooling on solid, biblical principles, as I also seek to do. If I felt that he primarily liked it because we're saving money, I'd feel uncomfortable with that. I know a couple husbands of my homeschooling friends who have that as their mindset. All that said, I'd take a husband who agreed to it for (in my opinion) lesser reasons over a husband who opposed it completely any day. And I would homeschool with a less-than completely enthusiastic spouse if necessary, as long as he didn't completely object. But I would try to help him understand the deeper reasons for what we're doing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 My dh and I didn't agree on the reason when we started homeschooling, but now we have the same expectations and desires. We are equally convicted that this is the proper course of education for our ds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 Nope, I don't care. I can't. For example: DH lets me choose my own healthcare, and that of the kids. I think he still has an attitude about it, or doesn't understand it, but oh well... I don't want to fight. I don't want to have hurt feelings. I get to do what I want, so I drop it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 My dh was the biggest proponent of hsing. He was at the hsing gate way before I was. He wants the kids to have a childhood and time to 'be'. My dh is a scientist, so he highly values education, but doesn't value the rush to be something just for the sake of being something. He says he knows too many burnt-out folks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickelfritz Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 His top 5 list of reasons to homeschool might be in a different order than my top 5 list, but they still add up to the same answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 My first impulse is to say no, it doesnt matter. I get to hoemschool with his support, and I am grateful for that. But he just doesnt want the kids in school in order to protect them from the school environment...he has a very strong protective instinct. And truth be told, while I can go with that too, sometimes I feel he is a little too over protective. Dd15 recently talked about going to school for the last couple of years, and dh wouldn't entertain the idea at all, because of wanting to protect her. It felt a little....limiting. She is an extroverted social animal (thats the problem, he feels). It closed off an option at a time when I feel she should be allowed at least some say in her life. There coudl be no discussion. Ultimately I would prefer her to be at home these last couple of years anyway, so its easy for me to go along with his strong opinion about it...but a part of me feels dd needs to be included more at this stage. SO, yes, I could be more comfortable with it if dh and I were a little more on the same page and able to have more discussions....but its ok, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HiddenJewel Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 Absolutely I care! If we don't have the same goals for our children's education it makes for shaky ground if problems arise. We don't have the same priorities to look back to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 Yes! It matters very much to me. If I didn't know I had his 100% support, I'd not want to ever complain or vent. I need to know that he is totally and completely supportive of OUR decision in this or I couldn't do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 No. If he interfered, I would, but no, not the way it is now. I don't know his mind on the subject, actually. He has recently taken up bragging about my teaching within my earshot, and I *really* dislike this. Makes homeschoolers look like I don't know what, but I don't like it. Will have to speak to him....(note to self). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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