Teen Boys - motivation, organization, accountability

[Moni]

Teen Boys - motivation, incentives, accountability

 

It's that time again already.

:)

Is everyone's teen boy acting as if, well, he's a teenage male? :lol:

 

Any thoughts, ideas, sucess stories to share about our young men and their academic motivation, organization, accountability, how much they are eating, sleeping, etc., as it applies to homeschool?

 

I thought we could share some Good Ideas and kind of prevent a bit of the (seemingly inevitable) future-frustration ?

 

:seeya:

[jibaker103]

My ds grumbles, complains, and glares as much as possible to let me know he hates hs and wants to go back to ps to be with his friends!!! However, when he is talking to friends I hear nothing but bragging about how cool hs is, all the fun stuff he does, and how he is done before his friends get out of school. Therefore, I have chosen to ignore all the grumbles, complaints, and glares and move forward like have not a care in the world. :lol: Eventually something is bound to rub off.

 

I am using this 8th grade year to get ds more responsible for chores, financial management, assignments, appointments, using a planner, time management, and organization. I'll have to let you know how it goes!! :tongue_smilie:

 

Jennifer

Mother to Noah Age 13

[Sunshine State Sue]

Any thoughts, ideas, sucess stories to share about our young men and their academic motivation, organization, accountability, how much they are eating, sleeping, etc., as it applies to homeschool?

 

I thought we could share some Good Ideas and kind of prevent a bit of the (seemingly inevitable) future-frustration ?

 

Yes, please share! Mine only mumbles, grumbles, mutters, and spits. :tongue_smilie:

[CherylG]

This has been on-going...whatever he is into-he is 110%. He invested in the stock market at 9 yo.; even bought a different kind when Bush was getting elected because he knew the aerospace industry would be taking off but going to the car, ends up at the trash can and throws months worth of my work away and my grandmother's antique dolls that I was sending to my sister. He literally is always yelling for stuff, when it is seriously right in front of him. "Mom, I cannot find the dental floss." "It's on the counter, Daniel." "No, it isn't...""Just look." "Oh...there it it. "

 

We have him in activities so that we can take him out if we need to discipline him. So he really doesn't grumble about "my stuff" (school) or I pull him out from his stuff-sports and chess-he's 6th in the state for his age and he's on a traveling team where he really likes the other players.

 

Plus, when he is super awesome, I just tell him to go download a song from itunes that I approve of-or ask him if he wants me to take him to hit golf balls. It is stuff that costs some money, but it is still important to reinforce the good tudes, in my opinion.

 

Twice we had to remove his older brother from activities and all the rest of the kids found out that mom and dad will not back down; and they really should just obey. We hated making our oldest sit out at the baseball game in uniform, on the bench; and really hated pulling him off of all-star hockey but he had an attitude and we had three littler kids.

 

This year our 15 yo. wants to go to school to get a girl-friend. (yikes!) He has never been to school like the older two, so he is in a dream state of what it is like. I am hoping this will pass but did register him for a debate club where there are girls! :D that just happen to be really sweet and extremely beautiful.

 

Even though I know he is a night owl, this year I did register him for an online early writing class. We will see how non-grumbly he is this year. Last year his City College math didn't start until 3pm.

Edited August 25, 2009 by CherylG

[JennW in SoCal]

I think the best tactic is to ignore the grumblies, sometimes even smile at the grumblies or make a game out of inciting more grumblies. My dh tells my boys "open up your brain so the knowledge can poor in" and it annoys them to no end! But it is part of the routine. School happens, grumble as much as you want, but you still have to get on with it. I had to learn to not take their grumbling personally. It used to really get to me that I had worked so hard to come up with a creative course and all they would do is complain. It was hard to get over that sense of hurt, and I think developing a sense of humor about it all really helped me.

 

I make a weekly or daily checklist, depending on the kid and the amount of accountability needed and have set times where I am available to help with math or have discussions. Outside classes have helped with accountability as well, as has the occasional draconian measure of taking away something like the computer if they really start resisting school. Fortunately we haven't had to resort to that more than once or twice.

 

I get creative with the checklists sometimes, too, and put silly titles on them like "Weekly List of Doom" or write "suck it up and read the next chapter already!!!". And the occasional reward is always welcome -- I like the iTunes download idea -- we sometimes drop everything and go out for lunch.

[Faithr]

I am very lucky in that I have one 17 yo who is relatively easy going and only does minor grumbling. The 14 yo is academically inclined and so maybe not quite as easy going in other areas but rather a go getter in schooling department. I had more trouble with my now 18 yo dd who would rather chat with friends than read a book so motivation was an issue with her.

 

I do think eating well, getting enough sleep and exercise is very important. I am feeling that especially right now because we really let go of these things this summer and I feel the need to really ramp up stressing the importance of all three. I do think letting boys sleep a lot helps! I do let mine stay up later than I would think ideal and I let them sleep in too. This is hard but I do think it results in better attitudes. I think humor, picking your battles and also studying right alongside them has helped a lot in terms of motivation, accountability and organization. Organization seems to be the big bugaboo, with me too. We are all kind of scatterbrained here, including me!

[dymphna57]

T

This is my third time around with boys so I have should have the confidence that this will pass and I will survive, but I dont. Each child seems to be gifted with my latest vulnerability to exploit. I have to ignore his grumbles and try to sleep through my fears.

I am trying to give him daily, hourly worksheets to fill in as he uses his hours. This worked with ds#2 to convince him that he was wasting his time.

I am involving Dh in the consequences of poor performance as it was Dad that said I couldn't flunk him. Dad has to check the daily sheet!

I enrolled him in the high school program(AA) we use so that he will have to send his work, tests to someone else.

I am spending more time in prayer and trying to improve my accountability.

My dd , who teaches this level says that positive comments are very effective. She insists that the smallest compliment, early and daily can transform the grumbler to a secret smiler.

Please keep this thread going as it gives comfort and advise:001_smile:

[Gwen in VA]

Online classes.

 

They make the boy responsible to someone else for quality and quantity of work. They are not cheap, but the benefits to both their education and the mother/son relationship have been priceless.

[Sandra in NC]

I have found that my son likes to prepare for CLEP tests. It makes his learning measurably productive and that provides great incentive. My son sees that the work he is doing today will save him time and money in college. We have carefully selected CLEP exams that are accepted by his future college.

 

Here is an inspirational post about someone who earned 30 credits in 37 days:

http://www.degreeforum.net/general-education-testing-discussion/8615-30-credits-37-days.html

[Cedarmom]

This is a great thread. My biggest thing is to remember to laugh with them. Humor reduces much tension. SOme outside classes help too. And a ready supply of choclate make everyone happier.

[Faithr]

In response to CherylG's talking about how her son doesn't see stuff right in front of him on the counter, I just read something recently that said that this is natural in men. Apparently men are better at observing things in a distance (supposedly, back in caveman days they had to use this to be good hunters) while women are naturally better at observing things that are nearer (sitting in the cave sewing or caring for children).

 

So your son isn't really being a space cadet in this regard, he's just being a guy!

[CherylG]

In response to CherylG's talking about how her son doesn't see stuff right in front of him on the counter, I just read something recently that said that this is natural in men. Apparently men are better at observing things in a distance (supposedly, back in caveman days they had to use this to be good hunters) while women are naturally better at observing things that are nearer (sitting in the cave sewing or caring for children).

 

So your son isn't really being a space cadet in this regard, he's just being a guy!

 

:DHis older brother isn't like this but his dad sure is...thanks for the encouragement.

[Sunshine State Sue]

In response to CherylG's talking about how her son doesn't see stuff right in front of him on the counter, I just read something recently that said that this is natural in men.

I remember reading in Michael Gurian's book, What Could He Be Thinking?, that men's brains are not wired to notice the minutiae of the household. I think about that often, living with my 2 men. :001_huh:

[Moni]

Good ideas so far.

Keep them coming :)

 

:seeya:

[CherylG]

We were going to the beach and let's face it finding friends in the homeschool world is hard. This boy and my son are nothing alike-no similar interests, but they are still peaceful with hanging out together. It's like they just forget to call each other because they are each busy with their lessons and outside interests.

 

It was no big deal to take him but we all had fun with an extra person along; so while all of his other friends were reacquainting in school, he got to hang out at the beach with a friend, too.

 

Don't think I didn't proclaim as my feet hit the sand, " I love homeschooling! Don't you guys?" :D

Edited August 26, 2009 by CherylG
spelling

[Jill- OK]

...my oldest boy is 14, and he's not really a grumbler, back-talker, etc...but he does tend to tiptoe that way more than my 15yo (girl) does. :D

 

Our best weapon here is humor. Instead of grumbling for "real", we've sort of gotten in this mode of doing a Napoleon Dynamite-esque sigh when any of us are faced with a task that's less than pleasant. (And if one older child suspects he/she is getting a heavier load than the other sibling, they can always add, "Kip hasn't done flipping anything today!")

 

Some good-natured "pretend" grumbling seems to allow for a little venting of true feelings, and then once everyone's done chuckling...we know it's time to get busy.

 

I know it sounds crazy, lol...but it seems to work.

[dymphna57]

Usually discussions that begin with 14 yr old boy in the title are not this much fun or helpful.

Favorite Napoleon Dynamite lines here

 

" So, what are you going to do today, Napoleon?"

 

" What ever I want, gosh!"

[ma23peas]

I have a 14 year old son, I approach the grumbles in 4 parts....

 

1. Is it reasonable? Perfect example, tonight we were going through LOF Algebra and this particular chapter threw in 6 different types of equations but he was not making the connect on knowing which equation fit that specific word problem...heck, I was reasonably grumbling! :) So, we take the time, pick apart the chapter, spend more time on it and then once he's got it, we move on....it's reasonable grumbling so momma has to readdress her time allotted for this particular chapter...

 

2. Is there a better way? I have tried to find opportunities for him to share his grumbling with others...speech and debate club/science labs...these are areas where he is 'in it' with others who have the same requirements and he sees the results...when he gets those score sheets and critiques, it inspires him...when he gets his exams back graded and lab sheets checked..he is encouraged by his hard work....he almost never grumbles about either of these because he has a very conscientious spirit and he loves to make make his teachers proud (even me! :))

 

3. I don't overload....I could assign a great deal of busy work, but to what extent...I am very much engaged in his studies...TT would never work for us...he has a good deal of independent work but he loves the dialogue when he's able to discuss history/science/writing techniques..if I just had him complete his check off list without an open discussion on the why's how's...I would be grumbling...

 

4. We become very good at discerning laziness...but to be honest, when you make them find reason for their work (like the lady who commented about the CLEP issue) they take on a larger portion of ownership...not many of us would want to do something, just because we're told to...WE have to give the bigger picture of why all these are important...exposing them to careers/outside influences/etc. help give them a purpose...

 

HTH..rambling is tough to decipher!! :)

 

Tara

[Starr]

"Mom, aren't you glad I noticed that I was carrying my dirty dishes and didn't go all the way upstairs?" Yes folks he was clearing the kitchen table on the ground floor. :001_huh:

[CherylG]

"Mom, aren't you glad I noticed that I was carrying my dirty dishes and didn't go all the way upstairs?" Yes folks he was clearing the kitchen table on the ground floor. :001_huh:

 

rotfl!! Thank you...

[CherylG]

Online classes.

 

They make the boy responsible to someone else for quality and quantity of work. They are not cheap, but the benefits to both their education and the mother/son relationship have been priceless.

:iagree:Could not agree more...I almost fell off the chair last year when ds14 asked to get on the computer so he could check what his homework was for his essay writing class. (?) He asked to go into the advanced essay writing class this year, even though he knows he is going to have to read Les Mis.

[Moni]

Did ya'll start school yet?

So far so good?

 

Everyone's son sleeping in? or ? :lol:

 

:seeya:

[Sunshine State Sue]

Did ya'll start school yet?

So far so good?

 

Everyone's son sleeping in? or ? :lol:

 

:seeya:

Ds prefers to do some schoolwork at bedtime the night before it's scheduled and arise at 10am. He is still fairly unpleasant to be around though. :tongue_smilie:

[jibaker103]

Did ya'll start school yet?

So far so good?

 

Everyone's son sleeping in? or ? :lol:

 

:seeya:

End of the 3rd week and ds gets up at 7:30 am and is a bear for about an hour. He doesn't eat or speak for that length of time!! :001_huh: However, the time is not consistent because he is so sleepy that he either sleeps until 9 am (about 2 days out of the week) or takes a 2 hour nap (1 day per week). Other than that we are at least getting the basics done. Going to work on incorporating Latin and Home Ec.

[Peela]

I cant get mine to wash. His hair is greasy. He says he washed it, but it doesnt look like it. He smells. Why doesn't he care? :confused1:

 

He has grumbled since the day he was born- seems to be his nature.

The best thing I did was get him an online maths program that teaches him (probably similar to TT but Australian and free) as well as marks his work.

 

The other best thing was changing over to Connect The Thoughts curricula- he actually does it independently, and although he still grumbles, he is really engaged with it, rather than just doing the motions. He is learning, and thinking, and I'm happy with that.

 

Going to a real science class with a real male teacher, who is passionate about science, has also been good for him. Too much "mum" and mum cops a lot of flak.

[Andrea in Dutchess]

I cant get mine to wash. His hair is greasy. He says he washed it, but it doesnt look like it. He smells. Why doesn't he care? :confused1:

 

Don't worry the day will come when he actually goes into the bathroom all by himself, and you hear the shower running, you won't believe your ears! so you have to go and put your ear up to the door and yes you hear the sound of splashing water, HE IS BATHING WITH NO PROMPTING! a HALLELUJAH moment for sure! but just to be sure you accidently bump into him as he is leaving the bathroom so you can secretly smell that he used soap , then at last you can truly rejoice at the water droplets running from his hair unto his back!

So what that the floor is sopping wet and every towel is used up, the boy is smelling good, your day will come, mine did, stand firm and believe sister!:

[Sunshine State Sue]

Don't worry the day will come when he actually goes into the bathroom all by himself, and you hear the shower running, you won't believe your ears! so you have to go and put your ear up to the door and yes you hear the sound of splashing water, HE IS BATHING WITH NO PROMPTING! a HALLELUJAH moment for sure! but just to be sure you accidently bump into him as he is leaving the bathroom so you can secretly smell that he used soap , then at last you can truly rejoice at the water droplets running from his hair unto his back!

So what that the floor is sopping wet and every towel is used up, the boy is smelling good, your day will come, mine did, stand firm and believe sister!:

It's my understanding that the new found interest in cleanliness is closely associated with a new found interest in GIRLS. :001_tt1:

[Peela]

I cant get mine to wash. His hair is greasy. He says he washed it, but it doesnt look like it. He smells. Why doesn't he care? :confused1:

 

Don't worry the day will come when he actually goes into the bathroom all by himself, and you hear the shower running, you won't believe your ears! so you have to go and put your ear up to the door and yes you hear the sound of splashing water, HE IS BATHING WITH NO PROMPTING! a HALLELUJAH moment for sure! but just to be sure you accidently bump into him as he is leaving the bathroom so you can secretly smell that he used soap , then at last you can truly rejoice at the water droplets running from his hair unto his back!

So what that the floor is sopping wet and every towel is used up, the boy is smelling good, your day will come, mine did, stand firm and believe sister!:

 

Oh thankyou, thankyou, there is hope. :)

Oh yes, the girl thing hasnt really happened yet- his "girlfriend" is a online friend he never sees in real life, so she cant smell him!

I guess I better be careful what I wish for, eh!

[Moni]

I do think eating well, getting enough sleep and exercise is very important.

 

We have been pretty good about keeping to an Early to Bed, Early to Rise.

The Early to Bed isn't popular ;) but it sure makes the days more pleasant.

 

The Weekly Assignment list is working out well too. Better than a Daily list because the student can see things piling up to "do on the weekend," days which otherwise could be a Free Day.

 

I am careful to assign a Short Day every day, so that if it drags on and on, student can see he is just making his school last longer than I ever would ;)

 

:seeya:

[rwalizer]

 

This is absolutely true! I noticed it not only at home, but also in men that I used to work with. I call it testosterone blindness.

[Tullia]

My son enrolled full-time at the CC this fall. He's living at home, but is responsible for his school work and has taken on more responsibility for helping around the house and property (we have about 5 acres in a semi-rural community). I think everyone is happy with this new phase of his life with the possible exception of MIL who lives with us and still misses his toddler days.

 

Some things that have helped me survive parenting and teaching a young man who is generally responsible and pleasant to have around the house but not a great risk-taker or in a great hurry to get away from home:

 

1. Find some form of outside accountability; job, co-op, CC classes in whatever combination fits your situation. Also, it's a good thing if he can make a substantial contribution to the work needed around the house beyond carrying out trash or mowing the lawn.

 

2. Buy a loud alarm clock; maybe a second one across the room if he's a sound sleeper.

 

3. Keep up with school progress via e-mail. Yes, I know it sounds ridiculous, but for us a quick e-mail with appropriate emoticons (which I rarely use otherwise) was a whole lot better than me pounding on his closed door engaging in a futile conversation that would invariably end with both of us angry.

 

4. When a face to face talk is called for, I take a deep breath instead of saying something inflammatory which is too often my first choice.

 

Whew! I was kind of disappointed in how __________ turned out. Were you disappointed too? What do you think is needed to help things go better next time?

 

If the dear boy was being crass or lazy he'd usually have a quick answer. My reply in such cases was usually along the lines, " You have a good idea...make it happen, ok" ? [big smile even if through clenched teeth.]

 

If, OTOH, it was some variety of teen angst he'd admit he was confused/unsure and usually ask for advice. In that case I'd try to use the situation to help him become more independent by discussing alternatives, letting him choose [if some options were "off the table" I'd say so in advance], and offering limited help.

 

5. Let him teach you something. My son helped me set up a Facebook account, and my cousin who started a family account gave him admin. privileges. He helps older members of the family who aren't comfortable using the computer post messages to the group.

[Moni]

What organizational habit do you find to be most or very important for your teen son? Perhaps one that if that habit gets dropped, things get worse rather quickly?

 

I know many or all habits might be equally important.

Maybe talk about one habit that your son isn't most apt to maintain on his own, without at least a little prompting on your part?

 

:)

 

:seeya:

[classicalpw]

It's a universal issue! My son grumbles and rolls his eyes. A "smart" friend of mine suggested that I hold him accountable for his attitude. If he is a grump, 1st I find out a few things. Is he hungry, tired, upset? After fiixing these that we can we start fresh. After two weeks of this he does have a happier attitude. We've explained that that is part of his school. When he's on his own he won't make it far if he grumbles and glares at his co workers or boss. He needs to learn that if he's too tired, then he needs to go to bed earlier, hungry-eat, angry - resolve. It is a learning process and unfortunately he gets all of these issues at once at this age. The main thing that suprised him is that he has control over it. He was grumpy because he was tired and hungry. I asked when he went to sleep and he said 2 am. I said why? he said he was hungry... I asked if he got up and ate anything...He said no, can I? I said sure, why would I not want you to? He said because he would make a mess and noise..I asked if he would really do that and he said no. Problem solved... :001_smile: Sometimes we have no clue what is going through there heads and it only takes some discussion. Usually I laugh and say why can't you do this or that? You're responsible and smart. I trust you to do the right thing. Then he eases up and becomes happier.

 

It's not always that easy, especially if he's angry about something. It takes longer to resolve. It's all a learning process.

 

I hope this helps.

 

Paula

[Nan in Mass]

Until my two younger ones (three boys here) went peacewalking, I had to help them keep track of things like their shoes and their grips. The oldest did that naturally. Peacewalking "fixed" the younger two, although I do still occasionally ask if they have their shoes when we leave a place, or their grips when we go to gymnastics.

 

The two younger ones had to have lots of encouragement to keep an assignment book and check off things in it as they did them. The last bit is very important. This required lots of parental nudging, years worth. (The older was in public school, and I have no idea what he did.)

 

The younger two needed lots of nudging to show their work in math, and then to check the answer to each problem as soon as they had done the problem, and to ask themselves if the answer was sensible.

 

Dating work and giving it a subject heading was a struggle, too.

 

The oldest became more organized when he got a dog, when he switched to doing his own laundry, and when he bought his own tools for work.

 

The middle one became more organized after he peacewalked (as far as time and possessions went), and after he was about 16, his academic organization improved greatly. I'm not sure it was anything I did, other than to express a wish that it happen.

 

The youngest is good with time and possessions now that he has peacewalked, but not as good with schoolwork. He found this year that he takes notes on reading more happily if he does it on the computer.

 

Cleanliness fixed itself when they became older teens.

 

We find a kitchen timer to be necessary for homeschooling, since we do better with a daily schedule of subjects.

 

Asking "where did you have it last" helps them to find things.

 

And, of course GRIN, going to a maritime academy and having to deal with uniforms and watches and all has definately made my oldest organized about many things.

 

-Nan

[paula j]

I cant get mine to wash. His hair is greasy. He says he washed it, but it doesnt look like it. He smells. Why doesn't he care? :confused1:

 

Don't worry the day will come when he actually goes into the bathroom all by himself, and you hear the shower running, you won't believe your ears! so you have to go and put your ear up to the door and yes you hear the sound of splashing water, HE IS BATHING WITH NO PROMPTING! a HALLELUJAH moment for sure! but just to be sure you accidently bump into him as he is leaving the bathroom so you can secretly smell that he used soap , then at last you can truly rejoice at the water droplets running from his hair unto his back!

So what that the floor is sopping wet and every towel is used up, the boy is smelling good, your day will come, mine did, stand firm and believe sister!:

 

I agree:iagree: Ds 14 couldn't have cared less about baths or hair till he got his girlfriend, now he sometimes takes 2 baths or showers a day.:001_huh:

[Willow]

T

 

We have him in activities so that we can take him out if we need to discipline him. So he really doesn't grumble about "my stuff" (school) or I pull him out from his stuff-sports and chess-he's 6th in the state for his age and he's on a traveling team where he really likes the other players.

 

 

Twice we had to remove his older brother from activities and all the rest of the kids found out that mom and dad will not back down; and they really should just obey. We hated making our oldest sit out at the baseball game in uniform, on the bench; and really hated pulling him off of all-star hockey but he had an attitude and we had three littler kids.

 

 

 

I keep thinking about this, and have decided to tell you my story. Obviously your kids are different, but it is worth watching out for.

 

When my parents pulled me from my beloved drama class the penny finally dropped. Never, ever, EVER show enthusiasm for any activity, particularly the ones you really enjoy. Soon my parents were saying "you never seem to want to do anything anymore, where has all your enthusiasm gone?" Hidden thats were it went. Not safe to show you enjoy things, because one mistake and bam, its gone from your life. Thats how I saw it as a teen anyway. Now I am an adult my parents say they should have retracted the drama class mandate, but at the time they believed it was more important to follow through on what they said. Yes, it made me more obedient, but it also had repercussions that last to this day.

 

It has taken years to start showing enthusiasm again.

 

Just thought I would mention it so you know what to look out for.

[Moni]

I have to admit, we are having a great year so far.

 

How about you? :)

 

:seeya:

[keptwoman]

Oh what a great thread!

 

My 15yo is really very hard to keep motivated. He was working in his room and spent considerable time daydreaming. Just today I have instigated a new regime where all the children sit at desks in the school area and there is mandatory quiet time until lunch time. They take a 10 min break on an hourly basis. It's worked for all of them to focus better today, long may it last!!

 

It's my understanding that the new found interest in cleanliness is closely associated with a new found interest in GIRLS. :001_tt1:

:rofl: Oh yes! My Mr Greasy Hair does manage a shower on the days he is seeing his girlie. :tongue_smilie: The rest of the time I have to chase him in there!

 

My biggest frustration at the moment is with his slothfullness, he does not easily get out of bed, and he does not get much exercise. I need some support from my DH on this matter to get him running or cycling regularly.

 

I have not found outside classes useful for keeping him on task, he is quite behind on his French and consequently doing an extra hour a day to catch up.

 

Sometimes school is terribly appealling!

[momof2boys]

Well I have two teen boys and one grumbles and the other one doesn't. My oldest is a senior this year and well lets just say that it has been a struggle to get him this far. Has he done as well as he could have in school, a big NO!, but he does make passing grades. It has been so frustrating for me over the years to see him not live up to his full potential academically and it has caused many an argument with him. But you know I finally realized something this summer(I know it has taken me this long to accept it), that I cannot make him learn what he does not want to learn and that he will one day figure out that he needs to do better. He is really very smart and will study and learn about the things he finds interesting. But as far as his academics are it is just average and even though I know he can do A LOT BETTER, I have learned to keep my mouth shut. He wants to go to college but has decided to take a year off after graduation and work and then go to college after that. for him I think it is a good idea. Maybe if he is out there working a minimum wage job he will realize a college education is important. Who knows. I guess we will just have to wait and see. As for my youngest he is in the 10th grade and while school is not his favorite thing to do during the day(he would much rather play his xbox all day),he realizes that it is a necessary thing and so he jumps in there and gets it done and makes really good grades. He wants to go to college and get a computer engineering degree and get into the gaming industry. He just wishes he could start college tomorrow..lol...because he wants to do a lot of traveling and knows that can't happen without the degree and income to aide that desire.

 

So I have 2 very different boys. Both are highly intellingent but one just chooses to blow school off and sit around and daydream and make plans for his life that a minimum wage job will certainly not give him the funds to do those things.

 

Sorry to ramble.

Gloria

[momee]

Where's the discussion for boys and anger and the "frustrating", "boring", "never gonna use this" type comments? The throwing things and bursting out in anger type stuff I know alot of boys do. Moms too for that matter!

 

I don't fit in with you sweet moms and your nice grumblers. :D

I'm in the now saved, still struggling with anger Christian homeschool mom who has passed too much of that anger on to her "rather be at ps" teenage boy camp.

 

We were waaay beyond grumbling and in the throws of adolescent changes last year. His body burst forth and so did his attitude. Which, in turn, meant so did my attitude.

 

For any of you going through that fun time, know you aren't alone.

 

It does pass and he's learned sooo much through this tough time, so have I. He's moving towards actually being happy (dare I say it) to be homeschooling. He's learned much about what God has to say about our tempers and how he can rely on God's Spirit to grant the gift of self control.

 

I'd just hate to let this thread go by without mentioning boys, yelling, anger and hormones. It was a way of life last year, every!! day and it was really lonely and rough!

[Colleen in SEVA]

:bigear: Where is the smiley for *soaking up info like a sponge*... and the one for *I'm terrified of teenage boys*?

[Nan in Mass]

No matter how angry he was, he never hurt his little brothers or me. He could be shaking and totally out of control, but we didn't have to worry. I don't know how he managed to get that angry at us and still manage. 13 to 15 were the worst years for anger.

-Nan

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

You gals are *not* encouraging me at all..

 

DS is 12, it's coming soon! Yikes!

[Mary in MN]

Usually discussions that begin with 14 yr old boy in the title are not this much fun or helpful.

Favorite Napoleon Dynamite lines here

 

" So, what are you going to do today, Napoleon?"

 

" What ever I want, gosh!"

:lol:

 

Even at his grumpiest, ds will smile when we catch him rolling this line out. Love that Napoleon!

[Nan in Mass]

I try to do this, too. Very often, the grumbling is perfectly reasonable. If it isn't, he usually is willing to subside into good humour if I express sympathy about the dailiness of school or the dreariness of too many rainy days in a row or too many late nights or whatever the real problem is. -Nan

[tenoraddict]

He literally is always yelling for stuff, when it is seriously right in front of him. "Mom, I cannot find the dental floss." "It's on the counter, Daniel." "No, it isn't...""Just look." "Oh...there it is. "

I am the lone female in my home of DH and 3 boys, and I call this "man-looking." ;)

 

I know I'm resurrecting an old thread, but I did a search on "boy hormones" and this popped up. I'm not sure if I'm more frightened or encouraged by what I've read. :001_huh: My DSs are 12, 10, and 7. The hormones with 12 and 10 are killing me, and we've only just started this pubescent journey... There are lotions for we women "of a certain age" to help ease our hormones...isn't there a hormone lotion to make puberty easier on these boys (and their parents!)?

 

Besides enough sleep, a proper diet, and regular exercise (and a glass of wine for Mom), what do you moms who've survived pubescent boys recommend to help us survive this phase intact?

[Nan in Mass]

A sense of humour. And a steep driveway to run up and down. Lots of boats and camping equipment and the time to use them. A dog or other animals who will love them no matter how much they've messed up just because they exist, not because they do or do not do something. A good first aid kit. Nerves of steel. A quiet, safe corner where you can escape into Jane Austen or knit. Some way of quickly stopping your child. The ability to get them to approach gently and the ability to convince them that they are now big enough to break you if they aren't careful. Power tools. Woods and large bodies of water in which to play. A few minor emergencies and disasters so they can prove to themselves that they are capable and necessary. (The minor every-day stuff in which they could be so very helpful, like doing the dishes, doesn't count.) Some way of making money, like shovelling driveways or helping Uncle Joe put in that lady's new kitchen cabinets. Hobbies. Lots of scrap material lieing around that can be used to make things. Snips and snails and puppy dog tails. String and sealing wax and other fancy stuff.

-Nan

Edited March 15, 2010 by Nan in Mass

[tenoraddict]

A sense of humour. And a steep driveway to run up and down. Lots of boats and camping equipment and the time to use them. A dog or other animals who will love them no matter how much they've messed up just because they exist, not because they do or do not do something. A good first aid kit. Nerves of steel. A quiet, safe corner where you can escape into Jane Austen or knit. Some way of quickly stopping your child. The ability to get them to approach gently and the ability to convince them that they are now big enough to break you if they aren't careful. Power tools. Woods and large bodies of water in which to play. A few minor emergencies and disasters so they can prove to themselves that they are capable and necessary. (The minor every-day stuff in which they could be so very helpful, like doing the dishes, doesn't count.) Some way of making money, like shovelling driveways or helping Uncle Joe put in that lady's new kitchen cabinets. Hobbies. Lots of scrap material lieing around that can be used to make things. Snips and snails and puppy dog tails. String and sealing wax and other fancy stuff.

-Nan

So I was feeling really encouraged until I read the last bit about the string, and sealing wax, and other fancy stuff...and then I just started to cry. :crying: Thanks a lot, Nan! :angry: ;)

[Moni]

I just came back in to read about the new school year planning and teen boys topics

 

:seeya:

[Greta Lea]

To let my boys see that sometimes I feel like they do and have to do things I do NOT want to do, I will all of a sudden (while they are quietly doing other things) moan very loudly, "I can't believe I have to do all this laundry." or I as I'm making my bed and one of the boys walks by my room I will flop myself on my half made bed and moan, "I don't want to make up my bed!!!" This is always done in an over-dramatized way, of course:)