Garga Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 My friend has not lived near me in years and recently moved into the area. So, I took my ds4 to her dd4's b-day party at a bowling alley. My ds didn't know anyone there and was intimidated by all the strangers and the bowling alley, like many 4 year olds would be. We only went so I could meet up with my friend again and get the kids to start knowing each other. My friend's mother saw my ds4 holding on to me while I held him and said in that lovely sing-songy voice, "Uh oh! He's too shy because you're homeschooling him! You need to get him in school!" I almost burst out laughing. I told her, "He just turned 4. He won't be old enough for preschool until September, so homeschooling has nothing to do with it!" My first snub! I'm in the club, ladies!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Yes, I suppose that makes it official :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen+4dc Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 :lol: Welcome to the club! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMCassandra Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 *eyeroll* Yep, that makes you a member of the club, all right! Sorry you had to put up with that. And I think your comeback was great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkgumby Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Nice one! I always wonder why putting a child into a peer group of 20+ kids is supposed to magically make them the perfectly socialized kid. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love2Smile Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Congrats! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMe Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Good one! But ... uh....that's a friend you want to get to know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovetobehome Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 I get this kind of stuff ALL the time. Each of my kids has been really clingy as toddlers and preschoolers (and they each naturally grew out of it and are very well-adjusted socially). I actually think it is a HEALTHY thing. I mean, our kids are designed to be with us, and many are naturally a little leery of strangers...that's a GOOD thing, especially when they are so young and vulnerable. I personally am GLAD my little ones don't go tearing through the grocery store/park/airport, but instead they cling to me because they know they are safe and secure with me. They know there is a difference between ME and Everyone Else (even grandparents and friends). Isn't it odd that the rest of the world thinks it is better for kids to just accept any adult as a caretaker???? Welcome to the club! We are happy to have you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyAberlin Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 The funny thing is that I have friends and family that have adopted children and one thing they think is a good sign is when the child clings to the social worker when they bring them to a new home. If they just walk right in without reservations it is a sign that they may have an attachment disorder. So it is healthy to see a 4 yr old that is clinging to the parent. There is a bonding going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 You know, I never get that comment. My oldest will actually go up to ADULTS at the playground who are watching their kids play and strike up a conversation. Then they tell me "oh my, he is so social" and I say, "well, WE HOMESCHOOL." ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 You know, I never get that comment. My oldest will actually go up to ADULTS at the playground who are watching their kids play and strike up a conversation. Then they tell me "oh my, he is so social" and I say, "well, WE HOMESCHOOL." ;) Both of my dc are this way. They think anyone and everyone in public places is there to chat with them. The funny thing is that my stepson, who started preschool at age 2, was always very clingy as a preschooler. I think it has much more to do with personality than with schooling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovetobehome Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Yep, my older kids are very outgoing, my 9 yo will talk anyone's ear off. I often joke with people and say, 'yeah it's too bad we homeschool and our kids have that socialization problem, ha ha'. Clearly, he is just as comfortable talking with adults as he is comfortable talking with children. But, each of my 3 were clingy as little ones. We call my almost 2 year old the Koala Baby....he is stuck to me like velcro! But when people make comments, I just laugh because I know in a couple years, he will be just like my 9yo....endlessly talking to anyone and everyone who will listen. I like to point that out to people too, when they say I should leave the Koala Kid with a babysitter to 'get used to' mom not being around . I just point to my 9yo and remind them that he was the same way, and is no worse for wear now! They can't argue, because he usually is still talking to them about spiders, or Romans, or whatever, LOL! That socialization thing is the most ridiculous argument I have ever heard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristineMM Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Nah, a real snub is when they ask about school, you say you homeschool and they walk away. What you got was the blame game, where homeschooling gets blamed for anything negative the other perceives. You are right that it is normal for any 4 year old to cling at a new party with strangers that is loud and probably was chaotic too. Hang in there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlockOfSillies Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Yeah! Don't socialize that kid by taking him to BIRTHDAY PARTIES at BOWLING ALLEYS! What is wrong with you, woman?! We're homeschoolers! We stay home all the time to hide from the real world! Do I need to email you the memo from Headquarters AGAIN??? I can't believe you actually left the house with your son. Sheesh. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth Conley Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Isn't it odd that the rest of the world thinks it is better for kids to just accept any adult as a caretaker???? Lovetobehome has a really important point here. My kids have run into quite a few daffy adults who think my kids should instantly like and trust them for reasons that have nothing to do with familiarity or a relationship built patiently over time. These adults don't seem to understand relationships or appropriate boundaries. They think a title such as teacher, Auntie or Grandma entitles them to the child's love and trust, without their having to put any time into building a genuine connection. Are we becoming an attachment disordered culture? What's up with these people? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Welcome, and here's a toast to many more idiotic comments to come! :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pata Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 :party: Welcome to the club, it's a fun place to be! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 This calls for a Mike's ;) Oh, it's 8am...we'll meet back here tonight and have a party :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela&4boys Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Homeschool, public, or private... kids are different! I prefer when mine are cautious of strangers like a previous poster pointed out. And you're right! It's ridiculous that she'd say that at the age of 4. Ehemmm. Sounds like someone's mother is a busybody. :001_rolleyes: About 5 or 6 years ago, I had a retired couple in a grocery store try to convince me it was illegal! (We're in Florida.) I assured them it wasn't and they said it *was* illegal in the state of NY. lol. Then they asked me about my background and whether or not I had a degree in education. I was very kind and told them I didn't, but I knew of no one better to teach my own dc. I was appalled at the line of questioning and the personal invasion I felt, but I didn't let them know it. ;) Keep your sense of humor about it! She just might be singing a different tune a few years from now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamamoon Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 congrats! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted June 3, 2009 Author Share Posted June 3, 2009 Yeah! Don't socialize that kid by taking him to BIRTHDAY PARTIES at BOWLING ALLEYS! What is wrong with you, woman?! We're homeschoolers! We stay home all the time to hide from the real world! Do I need to email you the memo from Headquarters AGAIN??? I can't believe you actually left the house with your son. Sheesh. :lol: That's hilARious! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
browneyedgirl Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Good for you for being quick on your feet, lol!! Welcome to the club:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MerryAtHope Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 My friend's mother saw my ds4 holding on to me while I held him and said in that lovely sing-songy voice, "Uh oh! He's too shy because you're homeschooling him! You need to get him in school!" I almost burst out laughing. I told her, "He just turned 4. He won't be old enough for preschool until September, so homeschooling has nothing to do with it!" My first snub! I'm in the club, ladies!! Who knew that public school socialization could work retroactively! Imagine, the very act of *planning* on putting your child into public school in the future automatically turns that child into a socialite! Good grief! I'm guessing she hasn't met too many 4 yo's! Merry :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luanne Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 I took my daughter to a half day preschool three days a week when she just turned 4. She had been home with me from the day she was born. Pretty much all the other kids there had been in some kind of "school" for a while. On the first day, they were all clinging to their mothers and some of them were crying. My daughter looked up at me and said "I'm here now. You can go." Personality is SO much more a factor at that age than anything else. My daughter has always been very outgoing EVEN THOUGH I kept her home with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paintedlady Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 Welcome! Isn't it fun when people who hardly know you or your kids think they have all the answers to your life within moments of meeting you? My kids are adopted AND homeschooled. You can't imagine the things people say to me. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rowan25 Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 Are we becoming an attachment disordered culture? What's up with these people? Yes, actually, I believe we are. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coralloyd Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 Yeah! Don't socialize that kid by taking him to BIRTHDAY PARTIES at BOWLING ALLEYS! What is wrong with you, woman?! We're homeschoolers! We stay home all the time to hide from the real world! Do I need to email you the memo from Headquarters AGAIN??? I can't believe you actually left the house with your son. Sheesh. :lol: :lol::lol::lol: HA! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Inna* Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 I'm glad she's got it all figured out. :001_rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 Nice one! I always wonder why putting a child into a peer group of 20+ kids is supposed to magically make them the perfectly socialized kid. ;) Yes, this has always perplexed me too! I must say though... since pulling ds from preschool and homeschooling him for K, it's amazing how he's come out of his shell. He's also stopped comparing himself to others! I know it's still early, but I hope it lasts. Sorry you had to hear a comment like that, but you answered it wonderfully! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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