To skip or not to skip kindergarten?????

[PenKase]

Oh what to do!!!!!!!

 

For the most part I've posted mostly about my dd9.....until now.

 

Background: My dd5.5 (Dec.1 Birthday) is approaching the end of part time Pre-K. When I signed her up for school last year, I specifically requested that she attend the PM session so that I could "school" her at home in the mornings when she was fresh, ready, & eager to learn. I already knew going in that she would be going to school to build and grow her social skills not really for the academic component. Her Pre-K teacher is WONDERFUL and she compliments "Mommy school" really well. She's appointed a class "tree", done author studies, takes them on nature walks, have the children build geometric sculptures, have them dig in the playground yard to plant sunflower seeds, etc. Both my girls have had the same teacher and our entire family absolutely loves her!!! I would never have traded the experience of exposing my children to this wonderful teacher and human being!!!!!

 

Anyway......herein lies my dilemma. My husband and I have felt strongly that dd needs to be skipped ahead a grade. At home, dd has been able to consistently and successfully work at a K/1st grade level. We strongly believe that she will be ready for 1st grade next year.

 

Here's some of what we've done this school year:

 

Reading/Phonics:

HeadSprout: completed all 80 lessons

Blend Phonics: wasn't ecstatic with fluency after HeadSprout & she was guessing too many times for my taste at the words she was reading. This cured her fast!!

Explode the Code: Currently working through Book 2

Phonics Pathways: Currently working through vowel digraphs

 

She can decode anything put in front of her and reads fluently with great intonation and comprehension; some of her favorites include Magic Tree House, High Five/Highlights Magazine, beginner non-fiction books, any and every picture book she can get her hands on.

 

Math: Completed Singapore Math EBK 1A & 1B in first semester and is now working through RightStartA (currently in lesson 49)

 

Handwriting: HWT-completed orange book in the first semester (Letters and Numbers for Me) and is 3/4 of the way through the yellow book (My printing Book). Will probably have her work on cursive letters using StartWrite software this summer. I love, love this program....dd has beautiful handwriting. She now writes letter to friends & family, grocery lists, poems, class rosters (likes to play "Teacher"), short stories to go along with picutres, and thank you notes. She even participated in the HWT national campaign to write a letter to President Obama!

 

Spanish: Currently using Usborne's Very First Words in Spanish & Spanish Words and Phrases along with "spanish" hour during breakfast, dinner, getting ready for bed or school. I am a native speaker but unfortunately my children are not.......I know, terrible!! She's progressing nicely though (despite the rolling of the eyes once she knows I'm only speaking and responding in spanish)

 

I know, long post........just want to get as much detail in as possible.

 

Now, don't get me wrong.......I know there are factors other than academics involved when discussing/contemplating grade acceleration (but I know my child....if she's not being challenged and stimulated she can get frustrated and I'm so wary of her being labled as having disciplinary issues because her needs are not being met). She's a mature, articulate, and very social person. Her vocabulary is extensive and is able to hold a conversation easily with her sister's friends (and most adults I know) and prefers to play with them over their younger siblings. She even brainstorms and suggest activities in which they can all participate just so that she could be included. She also exhibits critical thinking skills and always asks questions when things don't add up in her head.

 

Here's an example of what I mean: A few months back both dd's were complaining they were bored and had nothing do to. DH says, "well from the top of my head you can" and proceeds to list all the things they could do. After a long pause dd5 says, "and from the bottom of your head, Daddy, what can we do"? DH and I nearly wet our pants from laughing so hard!!! I knew a long time ago I was going to have my hands full with this one!!!

 

And so fellow patrons, and I do so apologize for such a lengthy post but it's such a heart wrenching decision (one I feel we should have made with dd9 believe it or not), what would you do if you were in my/our shoes?????? Skip or Not to Skip????

 

Thank you for your patience and please don't judge my post as being bragadocious (just stating the facts, ma'am), please!! Just wanted to be as detailed as possible.

 

Thanks again and have a great day!!

 

PS. I printed the Core Standards for my State and as far as I can tell, she exceeds them at the Kindy level. Even her current teacher expressed, in her last report card, that dd will have to be challenged in Kindergarten becasue she meets the requirements.

 

Ok, that's it, I promise!!!

[Ravin]

Well, are you going to be homeschooling, or sending her to school? If you're homeschooling, it doesn't really matter what grade you say she's in. If you are placing her in school, the school may require testing and evaluation before giving an advanced placement. My DD is just a couple of months younger than yours (Oct) birthday, and did K this last year. BUT, she was only a part-time public school student, doing a one-day-a-week enrichment program through the Mesa unified school district, and at home the rest of the time. She would NOT have been ready for 5 days a week of full day K, for non-academic developmental reasons. When planning our first grade work, I keep reminding myself she's young, and I'm going to keep it light on seatwork still.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide!

[Anne]

Much depends on whether or not you plan on homeschooling her all the way through.

 

I skipped kindergarten, and it was fine academically. Socially, it was fine until 4th or 5th grade, and suddenly, it was a disaster.

 

So, if it were me, I would continue having my child *work* at whatever grade level kept her challenged, and call her by whatever grade is age-appropriate. This will work well until she hits the jr. high age, at which time you should have a much better idea of whether or not you really want to graduate her early, etc. At that point you can take into consideration factors such as her extra-curricular interests (some kids have found having an "extra" year invaluable in pursuing serious music, art, drama, sports, etc.), local college class availability, maturity, etc.

 

Hth,

Anne

[musicianmom]

Assuming homeschooling is not in the picture, I'd skip her. With a Dec. birthday, it's not like she's going to be graduating at 16 or something (although I did and I survived).

 

As a side note, I am really envious of your daughter's Pre-K experience. I would love to have someplace like that to send my dd in the afternoons!

[MelanieM]

I agree with what was said above - continue with whatever works for you and her, and call the grade whatever makes most sense for her age.

 

My daughter shares a birthday with yours (one year older) and where I live, the age cut-off is the end of December, putting her at a grade 2 level as far as public school goes. So here, your daughter would enter grade 1 this year. Just pointing out that much of this is really quite arbitrary anyway!

[Brindee]

My younger two have been homeschooled all the way through. They were way ahead at that age as well. At first we decided to skip them up a grade, especially since they were working at least in that grade level, but mostly ahead of that. Just a little over a year ago, those two and dh and I all talked about it, and the two of them decided to be just their age level grade--where they'd be if they were in school. DS slowed down after awhile, and is more on grade level now. DD slowed down some, and for some reason struggles with grammar, so it's all working out well! DS needs the extra year to mature, and dd just wants that extra year to stay home with us! :001_wub: I didn't want to send her to college at barely 17 either, though I know many DO go. We are all happy with the decision, and as a mom, I'm doubly happy, cuz I get my kids home with me another year! :D

 

So, my advice is to do what you feel is best. Lots of kids are advanced at that age, but what if she hits a wall and slows down/begins to struggle? I think it'd be best to homeschool her, so you don't have to worry about grade designation, you just let her go her pace---whether it's faster or slower! If you're sending her to school, she won't get what you can give her, but then I'd probably put her in 1st, and be there to encourage her, as I know you will be. Bests wishes in your decision!

Edited May 31, 2009 by Brindee

[HeatherInWI]

If you're public schooling, I'd suggest accelerating her to first grade, as boredom is extremely destructive and discouraging. If you're homeschooling, and you're unsure, call her a kindergartener if you wish, but go ahead and teach her at a first/second grade level. You can always skip her officially later.

 

I'm blessed that in my state, a child's grade level can be specified as K-8 non-graded, which is how I've registered, as the dc were always working at different "grade levels" in different subjects, but for Sunday School and social things, I count them as being the grade levels that their ages would normally be.

[KAR120C]

So I don't have any experience in school placement, but two things...

 

First, one thing I've heard is that if you're skipping grades in school, it's often better to do Kindergarten and then skip 1st. Part of that is that you're more likely to get another year of that lovely social situation and the nature walks, class garden, etc. In some schools, 1st grade is a much more academic year, learning to read and doing a lot of sitting still and worksheets. From what I've heard, that's the much more difficult year for kids who need to be challenged. Where Kindergarten might be flexible, First often isn't. The other benefit of this situation, if you're looking at a new school (not the same one she's in PreK at), is that you have a year of the teachers and administrators getting to know your DD. I imagine it's more difficult to convince a new school of your needs when they've barely met you.

 

If you're homeschooling, of course it doesn't much matter what you call the grade, you just work at her pace and at her level.... But I would suggest that you hold off on "skipping" until there's some particular benefit. There's potentially a cost and a benefit to any situation, and you need to have your balance leaning toward benefit, iykwim... So as long as you can put it off, I would. Not that I'd keep her from moving forward, but that I wouldn't change what you call it until you have to.

 

Hope this helps!

[PenKase]

Thank so very much for all for your replies!!!!!!!!

 

I would love to homeschool dd but DH, who's line of work is in education, is dead set against it (mostly for the social aspect)!! So as it stands now, she will be attending public school. I would really love to give it a try for at least a year and see how it goes.......maybe I can soften him up a bit and get him to agree to it, depending on what happens with the school district. For all intents and purposes though, let's assume she will be in public school next year.

 

One of the major concerns I have for my dd is that because she will be in school full time next year and assuming we leave her in Kindy, she will begin to slack off big time (happened with dd9 when she entered school). I have no doubt about it. My child has a very strong character and balks at work she considers easy or has already done before. She does this at home and her teacher has mentioned she does this at school too!! I worry that if she is not stimulated enough this behavior will worsen. I can't imagine her sitting in her Kindy class working through the alphabet.....she'd sound like the teacher from Ferris Beuller's Day Off!!!!! AAAAA, BBBBB, CCCCC, DDDDD..............

 

But will there be something she'll truly be missing in Kindy that will justify leaving her at grade level. There are other districts in the area that do have a late December cut off for Kindy.......I somewhat feel frustrated that in public our children are forced to fit into a mold and not trully evaluated as they should!!

 

Thanks again everyone!

[musicianmom]

I still vote for skipping her. Kindergarten was a waste in my experience. And unless you're in a truly exceptional program, K is going to be a lot more "AAAAA", teach 'em to read (which your kid already does) than nature walks and interesting projects.

[Jen in PA]

I would skip her. K would be so much review for her, and if her skills continue to progress quickly, she might end up bored through first grade as well without some sort of acceleration. I would just caution that some first grade teachers expect quite a bit of writing and other fine motor work, so you might want to make sure she is prepared for that before school begins.

[aly9712]

would Montessori be an option? This is the route we decided on because it allows children to work up to three years ahead in any particular classroom and our dd is very much advanced, currently reading on late 3rd-4th grade level and scheduled to enter K this fall. The public school here was not willing to skip grade K up front, She would have to still start in K and maybe move up later in the year, if the teachers, etc. felt she was ready. Anyway....just thought I'd share what we're doing. Good Luck.

[Truscifi]

:iagree:Montessori might be a good option. The local school (p-k through 2nd) took my son early - age 2 - because he was advanced and took him from prek through the 1st half of 1st grade in 2 years. Sadly, the owners then decided to retire, leaving me with a young 4yo working on a 1st grade level or higher in every area. Which is why I turned to homeschooling as the ps was not prepared to deal with him. Especially since, in the words of his montessori teacher, 'if his environment is not stimulating him, he will stimulate his environment!' (he causes trouble if he's bored):glare:.

 

Anyway, montessori tends to be great for working with kids at whatever level they are ready for.

 

**edited due to atrocious spelling errors

Edited May 31, 2009 by Truscifi

[Brindee]

About homeschooling: Not getting socialization if you homeschool is a myth! Homeschoolers get more REAL socialization than ps kids do! At your dh's job, is he in a room with 20 or more other people his same age, that he does everything with? Probably not. :) If you really would like to homeschool your dd, which I think would be great, based on this situation, you could do some homework. Check and see how many homeschoolers there are in your county. See what homeschool coops and groups there are and what they have available that may be of interest to you and your dd. I had no clue, until I started homeschooling my oldest ds that there are hundreds of homeschoolers around here! Who knew?! Honestly, that "socialization" reason doesn't fly. You could have just as much, and better, socialization, with homeschool groups, and daily life! When my kids were young and we went places, they were very comfortable talking with older people (which is socialization, btw!), all the way down to playing with babies. They receive a broader scope of socialization that helps them be better socially adjusted than kids who pretty much only hang with their age group! Another added bonus is that often the family dynamics are WAY better! The kids tend to respect their parents more, and listen to them, as opposed to only wanting to listen to their peer group! With all that's going on in the schools these days, why would socialization be better there than at home, church activities and homeschooling groups and coops?!

 

Just some thoughts to ponder! :D

Edited June 1, 2009 by Brindee
To correct spelling errors

[katilac]

If kinder is half a day, I would go with your plan of sending her and schooling on your own in the morning. Full day school doesn't leave a lot of room for adding your own stuff in (although there is an active after schooling board here on the forums!).

 

My short-term reasoning would be that she is just as likely to be bored in first grade as in kinder, and at least this isn't all day. My long-term reasoning is that it gives you more time to open dh's eyes to the wonders of home schooling - - the more time a child spends in school, the less likely they are to want to leave (unless they have a truly bad experience). They quickly become accustomed to thinking that they MUST be with age-peers all day long to be happy.

 

If she's home this summer and half-days next year, you have a fairly good amount of time to try out partial home-schooling. Research local groups and other opportunities for your dd to be 'socialized' (gag, hate that word) so you can inform dh.

[skaterbabs]

If kinder is half a day, I would go with your plan of sending her and schooling on your own in the morning. Full day school doesn't leave a lot of room for adding your own stuff in (although there is an active after schooling board here on the forums!).

 

My short-term reasoning would be that she is just as likely to be bored in first grade as in kinder, and at least this isn't all day. My long-term reasoning is that it gives you more time to open dh's eyes to the wonders of home schooling - - the more time a child spends in school, the less likely they are to want to leave (unless they have a truly bad experience). They quickly become accustomed to thinking that they MUST be with age-peers all day long to be happy.

 

If she's home this summer and half-days next year, you have a fairly good amount of time to try out partial home-schooling. Research local groups and other opportunities for your dd to be 'socialized' (gag, hate that word) so you can inform dh.

 

 

 

I totally agree. If you skip her she may be as much as two years younger than the other children in her grade; which probably won't be a problem in early elementary but can be later on. Find out if your public school does skill-level placements for math & language arts. If they do, then you really don't have anything to worry about. She can go to K, have fun, and yoy can suppliment when she gets home.

 

Even if K is full-day, you can do that; she should NOT have homework from the school (except, usually, to read for X minutes a day) and even if you were homeschooling her full-time, a first grader shouldn't be doing more than 1-2 hours a day of sit-down school work.

 

My DD is a lot like yours and finishes math, grammar, reading, & history/science in about one hour. (She loves worksheets and story books, so our curriculum has worksheet-based math & LA, and picture books for history/ science.)

[HeatherInWI]

If you must send her to school (and as a former ps teacher, I think the social aspects of ps are highly overrated), then I'd accelerate. Bored children become lazy children, and as adolescents they often become depressed.

[mumkins]

Could you ask DH to give this coming year as a HS trial run? Could you join a HS group for the dreaded S word? I also think their's a book, titled something like "Socialization Trap' that may be helpful. Anyway, maybe DH would let you give it a try this year and then place him in grade 2 next year. I think emotionally jumping a 5 year old into grade 1 would be harder than placing a 6 y.o. in grade 2.

 

I have been HSing my Ker as a grade 1 student this year and it's worked out great. he already knew everything they would have taught him in school. But he was only 5 in Oct. He wouldn't have been ready to go to school in a grade 1 classroom even if we wanted too. School starts at 4 here, so he'd be in with kids that were in thier 3rd year of school if we had have placed him in.

[lionfamily1999]

My child has a very strong character and balks at work she considers easy or has already done before. She does this at home and her teacher has mentioned she does this at school too!! I worry that if she is not stimulated enough this behavior will worsen.

That is why I took my ds out of school. He was fine up until this year (2nd grade). All of a sudden, he stopped working. He refused to do the journal entries, he refused to "work," rushing through all his classwork and spending his extra time reading or drawing. His grades were excellent, except where they graded him on behavior.

 

Have you read "The Well-Trained Mind?" In the older version, she describes how her son became a "non-learner." THAT is why we homeschool, and for your dd, that would be the biggest concern.

But will there be something she'll truly be missing in Kindy that will justify leaving her at grade level. There are other districts in the area that do have a late December cut off for Kindy.......I somewhat feel frustrated that in public our children are forced to fit into a mold and not trully evaluated as they should!!

 

Can she stand in line? Raise her hand before speaking? Color in the lines? Use scissors? Sit "criss-cross applesauce?" Follow simple directions? Then, she doesn't need Kindy.

 

I do too.

[Allearia]

I would love to homeschool dd but DH, who's line of work is in education, is dead set against it (mostly for the social aspect)!! So as it stands now, she will be attending public school. I would really love to give it a try for at least a year and see how it goes.......maybe I can soften him up a bit and get him to agree to it, depending on what happens with the school district.

 

What finally got my husband to agree trying homeschooling was when we couldn't get the district to agree to let my son skip kindergarten. He had a December birthday that fell just two weeks after the cutoff. I convinced him we couldn't mess up too bad in one year, and that gave us the opportunity to get into the homeschool social scene with park days, classes, music lessons, sports, all sorts of opportunities that we wouldn't have time for if he was at school, plus having different kids that he could explore different interests in - some kids his own age/younger that he did wild active play with at park day, and kids some years older that were more intellectual peers in science classes and that do presentations for each other once a month. He plays Magic the Gathering with junior high age kids at the library and super heroes with five year olds that go to preschool with my younger son. He doesn't have to hide his love of science and books and Latin and piano to fit at school.

[PenKase]

Your replies are so insightful and truly welcomed!!!

 

We will be meeting with the Principal on Monday to discuss our situation. As far as accelerating goes, I'm more and more on the fence every day. I know a few kids who have been accelerated in our school district so I know it is possible. I think that once we sit down and speak to the Principal regarding the academic components of each grade we'll be a bit better prepared to make a decision.

 

Have a great day!!

[Storm Bay]

Thank so very much for all for your replies!!!!!!!!

 

I would love to homeschool dd but DH, who's line of work is in education, is dead set against it (mostly for the social aspect)!! So as it stands now, she will be attending public school. Thanks again everyone!

 

 

My dh was dead set against homeschooling for social reasons. My dd spent 3 years in ps. Finally, I did my research and showed him that she didn't need it socially.

 

However, assuming she has to go, YES, skip her if you think she won't suffer socially. My parents didn't have me skipped because they were worried about me socially, but my mother later regretted it because I was bored & rebellious in high school. fwiw, there were other factors in that rebellion such as bullies & verbal abuse by a relative. However, I was an independent gifted student, according to the descriptions in Gifted Grownups, and they usually rebel in ps hs. I should add that I was one of the older dc in my grade. But my mother was skipped and said that she suffered socially. Back when I was a child, this was never discussed with me, and I could never figure out why I wasn't skipped and was upset that I wasn't. I didn't mention it to my parents, though.

Edited June 4, 2009 by Karin

[babysparkler]

If you're public schooling, I'd suggest accelerating her to first grade, as boredom is extremely destructive and discouraging.

 

I agree with this... that is why we ended up homeschooling. Our ds was borderline depressed at age 6 because he was "stuck" in first grade and bored silly. It was very destructive and discouraging for him.

 

Also, now is the time to accelerate her... she will settle into a group early on and most likely the age difference won't really even be noticeable. If you do it later, it will be more of an adjustment.

Edited June 5, 2009 by babysparkler