Started a new probiotic (with specific strains for mood help) on Monday AM and have had evening episodes of diarrhea the last three nights. Is this normal? Should I continue? Cut dose in half?

I agree with your neighbor, OP. We have had Honda Accord and Hyundai Sonata. Both were incredible cars and went high miles (we had several accords actually) Just looking at quality and reliability, they were very similar. Surprisingly so - but Hyundai has upped their game to a pretty impressive level! Our Hyundai had precious few issues AND an outstanding warranty for the one issue we had. TheHyundai was the only car we have ever bought new (because of warranty) and we only got rid of it at 130k because it was totaled. One of the most reliable cars we’ve ever had. I would choose Hyundai because of the lower price with great features hands down. Plus warranty. We have a car rental/sharing business and presently own 9 cars. We are car shopping (used) often and I have driven a lot of vehicles. Hyundai is that sweet spot of reliable and low maintenance vehicle with a great ride and lots of features.

I agree with all of that. Patterns and family systems are powerful and of course it’s complex. I wasn’t making broad generalizations or assumptions rather speaking to an aspect of my experience with others- referencing specific people I know. Choosing denial does exist. People chose for a host of reasons to not deal with lots of things all of the time. They aren’t ready to willing. I have utmost compassion for that as I’ve been there myself. I think this thread has a wealth of resources and support. I hope people can sift thru it and find the life and light.

Yes you keep repeating yourself. I respectfully disagree with your interpretation of how things are phrased and assumptions as to the beliefs or intent of the speaker.

I think its an internet shorthand that has caught on because typing 'MIL who has narcissistic personality disorder' is a lot and to try to shorten it to and just say "narcissistic MIL" isn't nearly specific enough as I'm wanting to qualify that my situation is not a run of the mill narcissistic person- its an individual who displays a specific set of characteristics. I don't really think anyone believes any person is a disease or disorder. Like alcoholic grandfather. Or abusive FIL. Or suicidal friend. Or psychopathic neighbor. Or sex addict BIL. NPD is just all caps and might seem more sinister or more like a LABEL to you, but to me (and my perception is that for most) its just a qualifier or description of behavior- not equating a person with a disease. And IRL I say "MIL exhibits characteristics of Narcissistic Personality Disorder" and everyone looks at me crazy because they have never ever heard of it.

My DH & I refer to the NPD swirl meaning "up is down, down is left; lots of drama/moving pieces; a feeling of chaos and unpredictable behavior" when interacting with the NPD individual. Kind of like Pigpen in Peanuts with his cloud of dust, I feel like the NPD person has a cloud surrounding them. Energetically and emotionally. I have lost my bearings more than a few times, I'm sad to say. My comments RE denial were referencing grown adults, not dependant children. Obviously we only know what we know when we are children. I was referencing those in my life who are adult children of a parent with NPD- educated adults who have a lot of life & relationship experience, well read and well travelled. These adults are parents themselves and still defend and dismiss atrocious NPD behavior. IMHO, that's denial motivated by fear of losing 'family'. Even when confronted with obvious facts, they deny, reframe and excuse the NPD and join in the swirl of chaos- they are still controlled by NPD parent and at core then enable and feed the supply. Additionally, my comment was that true NPD can't hide for too long from those close to them. You can't miss it if you are willing to see it. NPD behavior can be subtle I suppose, but the patterns of golden/devaluing, plentiful fractured relationships, enormous ego and lack of empathy is pretty obvious.

Excellent point. I highly recommend the book”Stop Caretaking the Borderline/Narcissist”. It Helped me see once and for all the concept of supplying the narcissist… And how to end the cycle, is essentially cutting off the attention and stop feeding into it. That book hanged my life as we are still in distant relationship with MIL… It’s easiest to cut off the relationship with a narcissist, and so we are taking a very hard road. These boundaries have hugely helped keep the nonsense far away.

Many books have been written to daughters of NPD mothers which I find interesting. I’m not terribly concerned with statistics. Also, NPD is interesting as the victims are in therapy and the NPD would never go. And if the NPD did go, I am utterly confident in their ability to disguise themselves from the therapist, at least in a group/family therapy setting with a run of the mill psychotherapist. Agreed some descriptions I’ve heard here (generally on WTM) don’t sound like NPD to me and more like really difficult people. However there are several here on WTM who use key phrases and describe behaviors and such that oh so acutely fit in NPD- or at least my experience. Swirl. Revision. Drama. Scapegoating. Rage. Gaslighting. It’s quite spectacular and makes the victims feel crazy. It just hurt or wounded or traumatized, but literally shaken dazed and confused. The jacked up family systems and dynamics of NPD is spectacular. It’s NOT subtle unless you are in denial. NPDs leave a wide and obvious path of relational destruction in their wake. Very very few relationships that aren’t work/pay related can survive with an NPD.

We have a rental car business and use this $75 ozone generator for 1 hour in the cars. It REALLY works well for smoke. I’d imagine in a small room with a closed door, it would help the keyboard. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0795P2674/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_mrAQBbMX9N8W0

I’ve never owned an electric can opener and still don’t feel the need. Also so many cans have handle pull tabs. Tuna. Dog food. Coconut Milk. Tomatos ETA if I had arthritis or hand issues I would buy one.

Unfortunately I know all about it. I’m currently a massage therapist in vocation in part because of my struggle with pirifprmis syndrome as a distance runner who knows allllll about this muscle and syndrome. And I wish I didn’t. Once its entrenched it’s really a bear to deal with- walking hurts, sitting hurts etc. so make it a part time job to deal with it and try to get it to back off. Foam roller, percussion massager, professional massage, stretching (figure 4) and using ice and heat. You have to realllllly stay on top of it because it won’t naturally unwind or backup like even severe low back to neck pain tends to do after 3-7 days. Here’s a massager I HIGHLY recommend: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B008981SDI/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_K1jLBbH5BVFF2 You will need some help to use the massage whilst pregnant....lie in your side and have someone just hold the massage on the glute/hip area for 20-25minutes. It will likely hurt at first or sting but eventually the percusssion movement will begin to soften the muscle and interrupt the pain cycle. i also have SI Joint dysfunctions and so it keeps popping out...In my opinion really frequent chiropractic care on its own is somewhat wasted because if the muscles are super tense they’re going to continue to tweak that joint right back out. Every other week works or maybe once a week but make sure you’re addressing the root issue of very tight muscles!!! However… Been 32 weeks pregnant, you are fighting an uphill battle… Your body is sending out all con kind of hormones to soften ligaments and tendons in the pelvis to prepare for delivery, so you’re going to experience a lot more mobility in those joints. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this especially while pregnant. That’s tough!! ❤️

I'm not terribly impressed by the numeric age argument as to why this was wrong. She is just a kid. But some kids are pretty impressive criminals by the age of 11. Some 11 year old have attempted murder and committed serious crimes. In this instance, based on what has been reported, it seems excessive force and frankly ridiculous (and likely there will be a lawsuit). But the use of a taser on a 11 yr old does not warrant a carte blanche 'this is always child abuse by person in position of authority on someone of this age'.

Paula’s Choice Acne Line

I have two friends who are NICU nurses and they’ve said the same.... “Babywise” approach works very well. So not arguing methodology but it’s not like it’s untested and just ‘from a book’. Their work experiences ironically informed my decisions with my first born. Babies needed touch and skin to skin as well... ❤️

It sounds like they are totally overwhelmed- and as OP said, parenting is kicking their butts!!!! They are in a unique, particularly challenging situation and they've chosen a highly structured, somewhat rigid approach (in OP's viewpoint) in how to approach things- an approach which doesn't gel with how OP parents or would like to see the babies parented. If they aren't open to outside input, there's not much you can do. That's a whole other issue, as other posters have addressed. I have a family member who has been a closed off roller coaster of a parent. No mommy groups or books for them, or talking to others. She would occasionally ask a very specific situational question (when IMHO the larger context needed to be dealt addressed) and I was at a total loss of what to even say.. She "went with her heart" for the first two years and they were extreme attachment parenting. Then second baby came and they went to the total opposite direction with sleep training and spankings for the still BF toddler who suddenly had to be independent and have a nanny- extreme the other way. It made my heart hurt- for all of them. But you know what? The kids are ok. Well loved, cared for and fully tended too in most every way. They had 3 kids in 4.5 years and its been a hot mess as they've struggled to cope- but it's their mess and they are forging their familial bond along the way. And I think that's the key to understand the "why"......In our individualized, Western culture- everyone gets to choose what works for them and the rest of us just need to shut up and be supportive. ? Or that's the expectation at least. IMHO, as OP said, the babies will be well tended to (day and night nannies, plus two parents) and will end up just fine. They aren't unloved, unattended too or neglected in any way. Its just a different parenting style that has its own checks and balances. Ironically, many babies are held 24/7, fed on demand and co-sleep and they STILL cry all of the time for the first few months- so that's not litmus of what is good/bad/otherwise for me. And mercifully, the vast majority of kiddos turn out just fine. My latest soapbox is that the bullseye for 'good parenting' is actually a lot wider than we've been led to believe. We are spinning our wheels and exhausting ourselves trying to do it perfectly right - and obsessing over things that might not actually be that important after all. The gate of good parenting is actually pretty wide!!!

I use this as well...most effective on cotton items. I also use it at work occasionally (massage therapist with wrinkled sheets).

We were enormously blessed to be given the opportunity to spend a week in Mexico (yes, the beach) for very minimal cost (we had airline credits so free airfare too). We have been under financial strain and in the last 6 months have seen an incredible turnaround. It's still all hands on deck hustle running 4 small businesses, but we are incredulous at the growth. Its grace and favor we don't deserve and can't fully reckon with after years of struggle and loads of debt. Some individuals in our life have gone above and beyond to lighten our load in a few ways. And there are no words. I say all that because I posted here months ago about financial issues and debt. Obviously the trip is the present. Meaning I'm not planning on gifts- the gift is the trip. But I'm trying to think of ways to make it special as related to Christmas, because we are HUGE Christmas people. It's our favorite time of year! Lights, cookies, 9ft tree (thrift store), carols, White Christmas, Nutcracker, Christmas Eve service, stockings, gag gifts, cinnamon rolls and bacon for Christmas morning, Jesse tree, candles etc. And we live in CO so, well, snow. We LOVE the cold and snow. Anyway. It's a mind bender for me. I am someone who has set up a mini tree in a hotel room in years past, and DD15 has already asked if we can take her 2ft silver Christmas tree. We fly into Mexico on Christmas eve afternoon, so if we even have food for breakfast Christmas morning I will feel accomplished. That's a whole other issue. From what our hosts tell us, Christmas Eve in Mexico is when everything is more likely to be shut down. We are in a full kitchen apartment, not hotel. I have Celiac so this is a music to my ears to be able to prep my own food. My issue? I don't want to skip the holiday but don't know how to translate it very well. It will absolutely be tacos for Christmas dinner, no problems there! We are fools for Mexican food- the kids would live on guac and salsa and tacos if they could. I will be taking Santa hats, a few favorite Christmas books & movies, but trying to translate the rest. So I thought I'd check here with the mavens of creativity, thriftiness and practicality. What would you do?

I would recommend getting a massage. I remember talking about this a few weeks ago. ? PT and Chiro can only do so much and have a fairly predictable scope of approach. A few sessions with good MT could really help reset things, quickly!

Me too. Summer, in general, is when I’m at my crankiest. Loss of routine but expectations of GOODTIMES plus insanely hot weather. I don’t hop out of bed with excitement to face the day. I rather sigh. Once I get going I’m fine and my mood usually improves...but it takes time. It stinks to chronically wake up in a grumpy mood and not be certain why. I have no answers. LOL

Yes.

I think it's specific to the mom (those who cannot keep up with or manage their own households) and not so much determined by a larger family size. My best friend has one child and frequently has another friend (who has 4 kids) babysitting her kiddo. And her DH does laundry and dishes. And she doesn't work. I just don't get it. I also have a close friend who has 6 kiddos and is self employed and pretty much a rockstar. I also have a friend who is a foster mom, and they currently have 7 kids under the age of 5 (3 are adopted; they had to get special permission to have more than 2 additional fosters past the state limit of 5 kiddos in household). She is constantly saying she's overwhelmed and relies on respite care, babysitters and asks for help in a crisis pretty often.. Shes pretty incredibly organized and does a great job, but IMHO is way over her head in the last 3 months with the total of 7 kids. Of course she is. It's not reasonable to think you wouldn't be overwhelmed as such. But at the same time feel its a self-created mess that she could handle differently (um, only 5 kids instead of 7) and instead kind of uses her hard situation to trump everyone elses life. All the time. And dominates our small group discussion with her hardships. My point? Some people use whatever platform or basis they can find to get the attention they need.

OP back... So last night, I also made sweet potato fries (from frozen) and homemade GF cheese sticks and both were incredible (froze cheese sticks for 2 hours). Such a crunch and fast cooking and NO added fat! I sprayed the cheese sticks with a little oil just to help them brown up more. Also made carrots today- took 1tsp oil plus some salt and put fresh/cold carrots in for 9 minutes and they were cooked thru and amazing (larger chunks). WAY faster than stovetop and pretty similar to roasted, but not quite as mushy, and only a countertop appliance- so didn't heat up. Going to make spiced garbanzo beans, kale chips and mock CFA sandwiches this weekend and have a long list of recipes to try. I realllly wish I had gotten one of these a long time ago!!!

I have used MFP (free) and love it! I am low carb so I can set my own macros (goals for fiber, protein, fat and carbs) and also LOVE the recipe analyzer. It works if you work it!! ?

I bought a $45 air fryer at Costco as we have been eyeing one for a while for more controlled crisping of food (sweet potato fries, zucchini, GF cheese sticks etc). A friend who is a beach body coach bought one a few months ago and just goes ON about how awesome it is for healthy options. I used it for the first time today and am SUPER impressed. Crispy garlic fries from frozen in 8 minutes! No added fat, no mess, no hot kitchen. I was looking online and see that the sky is the limit as for what you can quickly cook- meatballs, baked chicken, wings, flank steak, bacon, faux fried chicken etc and also replicate the crunch of fried foods. Anyoen here have and use one?

Chicken Tikka Masala - made with coconut milk instead of heavy cream. https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/228293/curry-stand-chicken-tikka-masala-sauce/ Some of my favorite leftovers: Enchiladas, Chili, Pasta Primavera, Meatloaf and fixings, Honey mustard curry chicken with rice and veg, Greek roasts with rice (pot roast garlic and oregano in slow cooker)