I sustained a concussion in late May… And I am still incapacitated. I can do light housework and cook simple meals but need to spend the rest of my time pretty quiet and slow. Anything even mildly challenging and I have a major cluster of symptoms that take a couple of ways to regroup from- pounding headache, dizziness, loss of appetite, ringing in ears etc. (Unable to drive because reflexes are slow, no reading, no stores, no public spaces, no screens, no concentration games) I didn’t have a lot officially planned for this summer- because the kids are older- dd15 and DS11- and we were going to wing it and enjoy no structure but had a lot of plans- if that makes sense. And now the Summer kind of sucks. DH and I are self employed- he’s busiest over Summer and I dial back my schedule to compensate...I’ve now been off work 5.5 weeks. He’s saddled with all the extras. I’ve been able to get groceries delivered to at least help there... We are flying the kids to my parents in two weeks to spend a full week with them which is amazing. I need ideas of things for kids to do or me to do with them but feel so limited- cognitively and creatively. I have a daily chore list for them (housework, cooking, yard work, including four hours of no screen time, one hour reading, 30 minutes of exercise… DD15 has friends to hang out with as they are all pretty independent and just need a ride. DD11 doesn’t have the same network simply because of age and a lot of his friends are still doing camps/classes and just super busy schedules. Dh gently keeps asking me to come up with ideas. My mind is blank. Communicating with my mom and booking the air tickets left me with a pounding headache for days. Literally. Suggestions?

Update.... so it’s been 10 days. I will say this is no joke. Not at all. I’ve been in bed in a quiet, dark or dimly lit room for 90% of the time… very low stimulation. The last 2-3 days I’ve had a lamp on and have been doing a few household chores. Shocking how much I have slept- and the direct correlation between overstimulation headaches and fatigue. I’m taking rest and quiet pretty seriously as other people in my life have shared with me their stories and advice. Have taken two short walks but otherwise haven’t left the house. Taking CBD oil, NAC, magnesium, Fish Oil and Tumeric and now on a Ketogenic Diet and DH is taking me for craniosacral massage tonight. Before my brain used to be an 18 lane super highway (self employed and extremely busy) and it was suddenly reduced to a one lane dirt path, walking barefoot. I can’t articulate how shocking the difference is- literally overnight. One thing at a time and slow, is the motto. It gives me a new and profound respect for how intricate and complex the brain really is. And I thought I’d share what it feels like from the inside out.

So last night at approximately 11 PM, a 1 x 3 reclaimed wood art piece entitled “hope” and made by a friend (which I will be burning LOL), and approximately 20 pounds somehow came off the wall from hanging above our bed and hit me in the head. True story. It’s been there 3 years. Sigh. I was asleep. My husband wasn’t yet in bed, so I texted him LOL and asked him to bring me ice. I slept ok but woke up this morning and felt very off....sluggish, dazed, very fatigued and uncoordinated as well as pretty nauseous. I knew something was wrong and was a good girl and went to urgent care, they fast tracked us to the ER. The CT scan showed no brain bleed Or skull fracture (duh) but obviously I have a mild concussion. And high blood pressure. I already feel less foggy than this AM when I started to cry during neuro exam because follow my finger and touch your nose is hard when your brain hurts. I forgot what she told me to do. Seems stupid now. But it’s hard to explain how foggy and hard things are. I’m clearing my work schedule thru next Monday, resting in a dark room and very much avoiding screens - except for now and work related essentials and googling concussion stuff. Seriously hours of resting so far I’m mostly resting/napping and listening to silly tv) also drinking a lot of water, and Tylenol. Any tips? I read fish oil is helpful and eating protein. And all the dark quiet simple rest. Don’t have energy to google much so thought I’d ask the Hive professionals. I’m dictating this so any weird grammar or punctuation issues aren’t my fault. 😜

Yael, you’re a good mom and a good person. Just breathe for a moment. You’ve been through a lot with your sister and now with your parents. And your son. And DH traveling. It’s not an excuse, it’s reality. I am overwhelmed reading the suggestions on this thread and truly hesitate to say anything. I don’t know what I’d do. I’d be terrified and overwhelmed and desperate. We lease know i will pray for your family. I will offer: please take care of you. If you are not already doing so, please find a therapist who can focus on you and support you. It’s not meant to be “one more thing” on your to do list, rather a support mechanism to enable you to continue to breathe thru and work thru down very difficult circumstances. You are a courageous mom to put this out there and ask for input. May God give you wisdom and strength ❤️

I’m local and don’t watch TV but do visit websites for local news. Conscious or not, I can say this story is different. Hopefully a turning point. So many civilians/people intervened to shut this down and Previn it from being worse. Police arrived in under two minutes. I’m so thankful. ❤️ Ive heard and read VERY little about the shooters and couldn’t even tell you their names and had no idea one was female. Meanwhile I know plenty about several teenage and adult hero’s in this same situation- 4 different stories. My kids schools (same school, but primary and secondary locations) had visible increased security today at drop off. We talked about what courage and heroics look like and what split second decisions reveal- and survivors guilt and what the shooters families must be dealing with (all topics led by my children). That’s what my family chooses to focus on. My 9th grader wants to be a teacher (prob college level) and also wants to take self defense classes. Works for me. Lead from love, not from fear.

https://www.9news.com/mobile/article/news/local/stem-school-students-walk-out-of-planned-vigil-frustrated-by-political-talk/73-4590cb00-b273-48b0-93dd-b018dc4097e8

I’m local (20 miles) and have been so moved and teary eyed most of the day reading reports and stories. Schools are on increased security, at least my kids school. There is so much tragedy in the world. It can be overwhelming when we just focus on the crap. But no matter the tragedy, there are ALWAYS heros. There is evil, hatred, war, violence and tragedy in this world. It has always existed and will always exist. It just takes different forms and impacts humanity in different ways. There is ALSO goodness, love, peace, courage, bravery and unspeakably humble service taking place in ALL of these situations. So many people affected who jump and take action, jump in to serve and stand ready and poised to work tirelessly for good. I know many front line people and pray for those, in my community, today. ❤️ ETA: I just received a text that DDs school was on lockout for a bit today due to armed suspect nearby- not targeted at or related to their school. Poor kids and poor teachers. I said this in another thread that I live in greater Denver area and since it’s so large there is constant negative crap going on - somebody shot, beat up, assaulted, traffic etc....I’m not immune to it but used to the happenings of a larger metro area (2.8 million) we are constantly confronted with “humanity”. It sucks.

I realized that I view shootings more akin to major traffic accidents...I live near Denver so to be blunt, there is always some sort of murder/violence/stabbing/shooting/assault in the news in any given week. It’s not ok and not acceptable, but is a part of our world. I think guns and violence are a part of our mainstream culture in the US. that’s probably not stated well but IMHO it’s not an anomaly. Just as we cannot fully prevent DUIs, stabbings, assaults, we cannot fully prevent gun violence. Of course it’s not ok. There are many things that are no OK . Etc I’ve come to accept that gun violence is a part of our world today. And it’s just as painful to me as the guy who strangled his wife and two small kids, the woman who cut out the baby of another woman and the Uber rider who had a psychotic break and attacked his driver. Or the 18 wheeler driver who couldn’t read English and his loss of brakes caused him to miss the runaway truck off ramp and caused a 28 car pile up and resulted in the deaths of 4 people. All of those things happened in my part do the world in the last few years .

I appreciate your positive perspective!! As business owners, I don't feel our income is less secure either. In the building phase, yes but not now that we are more established. As stated upthread, my DH lost his job due to owners wanting to change it up. No notice, no unemployment benefits. The nauseating "it can actually happen to me" feeling will never leave us and will continue to inform our future decisions. I am not against being an employee but I don't see a full time scenario ever again. I've seen too many people invest themselves into a company or organization and get chewed up and spit out to ever trust anyone again with my income. I mentioned this in my previous post, but I am still recovering from the incredible stress and insecurity of the building phase of small business. And it HAS changed our family. I had to grieve the loss of a season of 3-4 years of just doing the work and going thru the motions and HUSTLING. Its one thing to be underemployed, its another to give your business every last ounce of energy you can after caring for your kids and holding them above water. That exhaustion is unspeakable. At the same time, its not fair to blame that on self employment, as it was actually the unexpected job loss that was the catalyst in our situation. We didn't optimistically set off, we had no other choice- and we trusted that God knew what He was doing. If someone has other viable job options available it would be very hard for me to recommend changing course into small business, unless you have a 5 year business plan, decent savings and good business sense (as well as supplmenetary income). It's hard. Its so incredibly freeing, rewarding and fun to be in business. But its also hard.

Yes. We are self employed. I am a massage therapist with my own practice (lease commercial space, online scheduling and such) and have sublet my space as well on off days. I was profitable my first year and have been blessed to be very good at what I do and in demand. I have had opportunities to expand and have chosen not too. DH is also self employed as independent insurance broker- umbrellad in under large agency but 100% on his own is for as generating new business. Insurance is a slow slow slow build but DH is showing profit in second full year. Together we manage 6 full time rental cars thru Turo, 2 RV campers and rent a basement apartment on annual basis (5 years now). It’s diversified and therefore very different than traditional self employment . Dh lost his BIG job 5 years ago this month and the aftermath was so terrible and hardI doubt we will ever be 100% dependent as employees again- or rely on one stream of income. But we never set out to start businesses LOL it was because no other doors opened and nothing else but our own ingenuity was blessed. And God has really blessed our work. Make no mistake, it is hard and lonely and you’re flying without a net and I cannot communicate how scary that can be at times. But it’s also awesome and freeing. To see that you’ve built from nothing become something is indescribable and we are so proud. It’s been a gut punching journey- so risky and scary and that has brought us closer together- but it could have driven us apart because the stress was so great. IMHO, very few people are built to be self employed AND manage successful businesses. Now that our businesses are flourishing it’s still hard but not the same kind of hard. Because have high demand and we’ve had to develop muscles to maintain this pace.. and i have PTSD from the trauma of job loss so instability is a tough one for me. But it’s incredibly rewarding to have a business reflect US from start to finish, good or bad. ETA: DH and I go out for breakfast, walks and shopping several times a week. We also work nights and weekends LOL but we spend so much more time together and with our kids because we have flexibility. Example? We are camping this weekend in new RV for 3 nights to prepare it for rental season. We will be working a bit and I’ve spent 10 hours prepping already to outfit it but we get to be together as a family and outfit it (taking pictures, instructions and such). And that camper will almost pay for itself in rentals this first summer. 😜

I think it was a small fire that didn’t cause significant damage and is already out- was in a guard room and possibly started by children? https://sputniknews.com/middleeast/201904161074167005-Blaze-Erupts-Jerusalems-Historic-al-Aqsa-Mosque/

As PPs said, only 737 Max were grounded. AA and Southwest fleets were most affected and they’ve had to scramble to cover losing 4-5% of their planes. Our recent trip on Southwest was booked 6 months in advance and yet both flights ended up being cancelled due to Max issues- Southwest emailed 1 week out and said flights “may” be adversely affected and gave option to rebook within 14 day window if we chose but the flight wasn’t officially cancelled until the day before. The return was also cancelled but we were more prepared. Since we were connecting with international flights we rebooked to ensure we wouldn’t get stuck. I think they are still all scrambling a lot.

We only went to two orthodontists, although we could have gone to more as consults are free. We chose the ortho within walking distance of our home (who had stellar reviews) simply because he is is within walking distance of our home, even though he was $800 more. As kids get older, and as treatment will be more than a casual 2 years, we thought it would be important for them to be able to self-serve at times given that both DH & I work a lot. This orthodontist was not a fan of pulling teeth or surgical interventions (other than wisdom teeth extractions). whereas the previous ortho who cam highly recommended was talking about surgical intervention and aggressive treatments). Maybe a third option would have had another opinion? My kiddos are dentally delayed- meaning their molars are sooooooo slow. DD15 STILL doesn't have 12 years molars, but they are coming in and not obstructed- just slow. Both of my kiddos need palate expansion due to severe overcrowding. Plus, cross bite and overbite. They are beatiful and have very strong teeth but its a hot mess- and we've known for years that they will need more than standard treatment. It will be 2.5 years and $4900 for DD who is 6 months into treatment already and looks fantastic- HUGE change in 6 months. For Ds, its more extensive and will be $7200 for DS11- including 2 rounds (12 months with just a little top work, then a 1 year break, then 2+ years for DS. It was in office payment plans- we paid $1000 down and then the remainder over 24 months.. DS is another story.

Reggie short for Reginald Of course, I like to have a long name for our doggies. Example? Bear is a rescue/shelter doggo and came with a very unoriginal name- other than he looks like a teddy bear- his full name is Barrels Von Thurstenburg (ends with our last name). But we are weird. We also have a bird named Kanye.

I couldn’t begin to tell you where else but Yellowstone because it’s just so awesome and so think everyone should go at least once. I live in CO and second Estes Park (RMNP) as a really cool place to go- also Ouray CO is amazingz But with Yellowstone- what about renting a set of cabins at Yellowstone Holiday? We’ve RV camped there for 10 days and are hoping to simplify and just use a cabins the next time we go ... you could do one primitive cabin and one deluxe. Sure it’s driving but frankly that’s a huge part of visiting Yellowstone. I couldn’t stomach the cost of hotels or lodges there either. West Yellowstone has lots of food and restaurants to keep to simple. http://www.yellowstoneholiday.com/ It’s a great place and we really enjoyed dorintime camping there (great bathrooms) and very easy drive out of west entrance.

Agreed! It is actually ideal for us. Still, I hadn't done enough preparatory research to feel prepared. 🙂

We are getting a $5K refund and 100% shocked. Last year, we had 35% lower income and only got $1K back (and that was heavy depreciation). THis year, 2018, our businesses grew and we fully expected to be paying a hefty chunk (we are not paying quarterly). We are about as far from simple & standard taxation as you can get- self employed (4 small businesses) and our businesses grew roughly 35% last year. Our accountant is a tax Lawyer/CPA combo who specializes in small business. We are astounded.

Both of my sisters have adopted- one due to infertility, the other because of calling/desire to add to family. I also have adopted cousins. Also good friends with family that fosters to adopt. BUT I know many people who have no real connection to adoption.

Denver is their hub (where we live) and we routinely get ridiculous deals. We are also Discount Den Members so $69 or $89 one way tickets to the east coast are NOT hard to find. We routinely fly 1x a year for ~$150 RT per person to PHL or MDT (Harrisburg) to see my parents. Their sales are ridiculous!!!!! And I’m so thankful!

Meadow Lark… Of course we can’t know exactly what he meant in the situation. I’m going to go ahead and absolutely take you at your word that this is been a very difficult and strained relationshp and that he doesn’t deal well with points of conflict. You don’t need to prove it to me nor explain it- I believe you. I’ve been where you’ve been in some regards… Understanding the nuances and subtleties of a difficult relationship, and overhearing unintended remarks…and trying to reconcile things- realizing that the relationship isn’t as calm as I had hoped. And then when to talk to others who don’t know the history or relationship, I’m made to feel as though of the problem and responsibility is somehow mine, or that I misunderstanding or miss reading the situation. So I’m pretty huge on validating and taking people at their words. It seems like this is hurtful to you and that you were genuinely struggled with this relationship. And I honor that. Bluntly, sometimes what it comes down to is exactly what it looks like… The difificult person is being an ass.

When DD15 was 12/13 I instituted a you.must.shower.every.other.night.no.matter.what policy. Eventually she learned to see when her hair was greasy and know when she was smelly- but more so she did eventually start to care. 😜 but it took much longer for the caring kick in.

My mom has travelled to Israel at least 12x (once per year the last decade) - she works with Holocaust survivors and leads small tour groups. I wish she was doing this DIY so we had extra time and more flexible time. Anyway-I followed that you lived there...thanks for the info and warmth! 😜 We are bringing good Teva/Merrell sandals. We live in Colorado but ironically don’t walk hills a ton other than our neighborhood or ocassonaly mountain hikes (rougher this time of year RE snow). We visited DC last year and walked 6-8 miles each day...was tiring (mostly the crowds) but being down at sea level helped. Good advice RE raincoat. I’m annoyed even taking them because of space...would rather get wet and laugh but don’t want to be miserable. Ive done a cross body bag before on family trips and it really wore out my shoulders. I have a small convertible backpack that has shoulder strap and too handle. Might try that?? I hate trying new things in a trip though...

Yes....I have been pondering the packing cubes but will probably cheap out with extra large ziploc bags. Maybe they will be a deal of the day? The color coding part really appeals to me!!

Kids, Dh and I are going to Israel with my parents in March. This trip is a gift from my parents and will be our first lengthy international trip- although my parents have traveled a lot. They are ridiculous. We are new to a big trip like this and a tour experience. Ah yes- we will be traveling with a tour company on a big bus. We will be changing hotels 5x in Israel- plus one night extra each end in US due to flights. Gone 12 nights. While in Israel we will have two hotel rooms (double occupancy) so that complicates things a bit but gives us a ton more space. I’m not sure how we will divide up rooms- and am pondering how to pack accordingly. I’m looking to pack light and smart. Ok with doing laundry in sink if needed or sending it out at a hotel (larger items). Planning on either 4 small suitcases (one per person) or two medium sized with expandable duffle for extras. Packing tips? Must have travel items? Organizational helps? Comfort tips for long flight? Experiences in this region? Experience with lengthy tour trip? **DH and I each have day packs- water bottles, hats, sunscreen etc. we know that part pretty well. Snacks, first aid, raincoats etc to stay with us all day. **Covered for outlet conversion, scarves and modest dress, DSLR camera, goooood walking shoes (2 pair per person), iPods and headphones to zone out when needed), portable charger, **I have Celiac Disease and IBS so I am taking protein bars as my safe meal plan and a lot of stomach calming things. Sigh Thanks. 🙂

DH and I have tried Bluebird Complete CBD oil- used about half the bottle between the 2 of us- and have to take two droppers full (about 20-25mg) to feel any calming. We are both using for stress and anxiety. Neither of us will take it at night anymore- gives both of us vivid dreams and I slept terribly all 3 nights I took it. YMMV but since Mercy mentioned it I thought I’d comment as well... It’s not the powerhouse I expected it to be and not much more help so far than Theanine Serene or a similar multifaceted stress blend with GABA. But I’m using a somewhat mild dose from all that I’ve read. I’m in CO so have all manner of things easily available and have several clients (am massage therapist) who use topical creams for chronic pain.