Nakia, mental illness is the same as a physical illness. If you have it, you have it. There should be no shame in that. Please take your meds. If you had a physical illness that you needed antibiotics for, would you just not take them?
My mother was bi-polar. If she had stayed on her meds, I would have had a mother. I wouldn't have had to spend my life running away from her. I would not be left with all these regrets (that I thought I had already dealt with) now that she is gone. So, please, take your meds. Your girls need their mama.
Remember,there is no shame in a diagnosis of bi-polar. God does not choose to heal every illness here on earth. Sometimes we have to walk it out. If you need me, I'm here. I hope you know that.