My mom was thrilled to finally have a grandchild. She and my father lived about an hour and a half from us, and the hospital was in between. We had no space for them to stay in our tiny house, but they were at the hospital the morning after our first child was born, visited a reasonable time, and went home. She was deeply impressed that Dh had arranged paternity leave: not really a thing when I was born. She didn’t want to get in the middle of our efforts to do things ourselves, and as I mentioned, we wouldn’t have had a place for her to stay. She and my father did come for regular day trips, I just can’t remember exactly how often, or exactly who did what. We talked regularly, and she was a loving, supportive, encouraging grandmother, always ready to help when asked.

I don’t know if they’d offer enough protection, but beekeeping gloves can have flexible leather hands and canvas arm gauntlets. No clue how that compares to welding gloves, but the fingers do allow fairly good manipulation. You’d probably want long thick sleeves under the gloves. The welding apron sounds perfect.

There are small display boxes and tables that would let you arrange shells on a sandy base, with both top and sides visible. https://www.icollector.com/Handsome-small-glass-wood-display-table_i10231077 https://www.amazon.com/GraduatePro-Display-Picture-Memorabilia-Keepsakes/dp/B0995JGBHC/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?crid=F0L7P935JDAZ&keywords=table+with+glass+top+display+case&qid=1704735624&sprefix=display+table+glas%2Caps%2C86&sr=8-13 https://www.amazon.com/Round-Terrarium-Display-Table-Reinforced/dp/B07P65GHRC/ref=mp_s_a_1_17?crid=34S57XZI7UBSG&keywords=glass+top+display+case+table&qid=1704735797&sprefix=glass+top+display+case+table%2Caps%2C102&sr=8-17 Or even a terrarium… https://www.amazon.com/HighFree-Geometric-Terrarium-Miniature-Succulent/dp/B09QLXWSDN/ref=mp_s_a_1_16_sspa?crid=34S57XZI7UBSG&keywords=glass+top+display+case+table&qid=1704735886&sprefix=glass+top+display+case+table%2Caps%2C102&sr=8-16-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9waG9uZV9zZWFyY2hfYXRmX25leHQ&psc=1

This has been my experience. In the 1970s, we spent a lot of time with my grandparents, who had a big garden and canned and froze much of their food. Other than meat, dairy, and starches, most of what we ate there was from the garden. Meal planning was a matter of “Well, we’ve got lots of tomatoes, and we can shell some butter beans, and bring in some ears of corn.” There were lots of vegetable dishes on the table, most pretty simple, and straight out of the garden. I can count on one hand the times we went out to eat there. Doing so was an Occasion. Food was just prepared at home. This wasn’t in a cultural backwater, though not in a major city either. There were restaurants around, but eating at home was the family culture, just as it had been when my mother was growing up in the ‘30s and ‘40s. In the’30s they had had a cow, chickens, and ducks, too, on a big city lot. None of that was unusual for the time or place, though my grandfather sold shares in the cow to some neighbors who didn’t have room for a cow, so they could share the milk (they had to own the cow, legally, to use the raw milk). Foodways have changed a lot since the 1970s. Obviously even more since the 1930s, but a lot just since the 1970s. Some people still live the same way, but a much smaller percentage, I suspect. Even just the fact that the grocery stores are so.much.bigger and have so.much.more.stuff… people are buying all that stuff. Some of it is laudable diversity in our foods, but a lot of it is prepared convenience food which is so highly processed. The changes are enormous.

I’m so sorry, and so angry that this still happens. Thinking of you and hoping things go better than expected.

No, that’s not an Iowa decision, I agree. I meant more how to respond to it politically, which is why I was concerned about crossing the line here. Iowa is the center of the American political landscape right now. How Iowans talk about this can make news, if they want that to happen.

I saw it last night in the newspapers I follow online. It was more prominent on the BBC website than on the two major U.S. papers. This morning the article in the online WaPo is way down the page. Here it is, without a paywall: https://wapo.st/41Oci2T Here’s the story from the NYT, which was similarly inconspicuous. https://www.nytimes.com/2024/01/04/us/perry-iowa-school-shooting.html?unlocked_article_code=1.LU0.IedL.zeYYpSoDyO4G&smid=url-share All I can really think is that Iowa has a lot of clout right now. They get to choose how to handle this. The NYT piece notes that media was already in the area because of a campaign event. And that’s probably all that I can say, which is why I don’t think there’s much to talk about here. Everything about this phenomenon is political. I don’t think we’re powerless in the least. But individually, our power is limited. We can talk more on the Politics board, but I think we mostly all know what we think. Moderators, I’ll delete the paragraph above if it crosses the line.

Some bowl ideas… I like @Katy’s suggestion of a wooden bowl. Or find something made by a local potter whose work you like. Or there are stone bowls, so you could have stones in stone. Or wander through an antique mall with lots of glassware and ceramics. If you’re dealing with a small assortment of semiprecious stones, maybe an old teacup would work: even a fairly old one without a handle, so it reads more like a bowl, but in scale with small stones. Around here you could get one like that for $25 depending on the store and the teacup, so it needn’t be hugely expensive. Search online for “rocks displayed in bowl” for ideas.

I’m not sure how big your rocks are, but how about just looking for a bowl you find attractive and displaying them in that? Personal taste is everything here, I suspect. We have an old bowl, relatively wide and shallow, that holds all kinds of “finds,” geological, archaeological, shells, and so forth. I believe we got the bowl first, just because we liked it, and then it started accumulating a collection of finds. You can do it in reverse. Decide on size and shape, and then go hunting for a bowl you like.

We had a black rat snake living in our old frame house once upon a time. Given the mouse population before the snake moved in, we were happy to have him as a guest. All we ever saw was a skin he shed, but suddenly there were no more mice.

Appalling. I can understand individuals wanting to go to a nice restaurant without having badly-behaved children spoiling their meal. Some places are more appropriate for learning good behavior than others. But a child-free society in general? That’s a new concept for me. How widespread is this idea?

I’m so sorry.

Oh, wow! Yes, I was picturing it happening in the same room. 😳😁

Minecraft provokes such strong feelings, which I understand. I know it’s a problem for some kids. But I just wanted to point out that two kids playing together, especially in a family where relationships can be so hard because of neurodiversity, is a fantastic thing. Minecraft was one of the best ways my kids were able to spend time playing together during the difficult adolescent years. The sandbox nature of the game meant they could each have their own worlds, they could visit each other’s worlds, they could build worlds together… it was gloriously open-ended, with a ton of room for creativity. I know that isn’t what @Quarter Note was talking about. The school needs to accept responsibility for their devices, and parents need to be able to say that the devices are causing unacceptable harm. But sometimes, for our neurodiverse kids, kinda-sorta parallel play in a sandbox world is a good thing. Just think carefully about whether this particular use of a device is a problem. Maybe it is! But maybe not.

I’m sorry. Any way you decide to observe the day is fine. You’re thinking about him. That’s what matters. You don’t have to dwell on the day.

An attractive potted plant (ask if scent is a problem) A bird feeder or squirrel feeder she can watch from indoors If she already enjoys a bird feeder, a subscription to Project FeederWatch Handcraft materials, if she enjoys knitting, etc. A soft, snuggly blanket or shawl

Books For ds11, has he read My Side of the Mountain and its sequels? There’s also a companion survival guide written by Jean Craighead George and her son. I don’t know the survival guide, but it might be interesting to your ds if he hasn’t read too much on the subject before.

Is this the one you mean? It looks like it might fit on a bookcase shelf. Maybe find a bookcase for toys? https://www.target.com/p/schleich-vet-practice-with-pets/-/A-85207425

Just adding a plug for the Habitat for Humanity ReStores in general. There’s huge variation, so I can’t speak for all of them. Still, we’ve been haunting thrift stores lately, and of the three ReStores near us, two have fantastic arrays of stuff of all kinds. Most is secondhand, some is antique, but a bunch is new, donated merchandise as well. At the same 2/3, the prices are exceedingly affordable. The third is overpriced by my standards, but it seems to be going for the “exclusive consignment store” vibe rather than the “bargain basement estate sale” vibe. Don’t know if they’re doing after-Christmas sales.

This is a wonderful idea.

I would be terribly disappointed, too. I wonder, though, if they realize how important it feels to you for them to visit you in Poland, and how much it would matter to your kids. Could you have accepted their original reluctance to fly with such good grace that they never realized you wanted them to come? In family relationships, I think taking a risk in the service of demonstrating that they matter to you is worthwhile. Could you tell them what you said here: that you didn’t think they were willing to travel, but if they are, you’d love to have them extend their trip? Offer help with the logistics, and if money is the issue, with that too if possible. Don’t let lack of communication spoil an opportunity.

I think it should be fine.

Merry Christmas!

I’m so sorry.

This is me, too. With respect, I don’t think anyone gets to say that others can acclimate or feel less discomfort by improving their mindset. If that works for you, great, but until you’re in my skin, don’t assume it will work for me if I just do what you do. OP, my best ideas: time outside activities for the coolest parts of the day, including after dark; try swimming or even just hanging out in a pool, as long as the pool has some shade available; travel to less humid places and enjoy outdoor activities there; embrace sitting outside with your coffee or, better yet, something cold like iced tea or lemonade. Use cool showers liberally.