We’re going to be in Port Colborne for a brief visit to see the eclipse. We chose the location because we do want to see the falls, and we found a reasonable rental property that meets our needs. We’re wondering how long we want to stay in the area: a long visit isn’t possible, but we currently have three nights booked, and can extend that by a couple of nights. One of us has never been out of the U.S. before, so maximizing exposure to Canada as opposed to the U.S. is important. We have limitations on tolerance of crowds and generally putting up with other peoples’ schedules (including some medical issues), so we don’t want to be tied to organized tours. Generally, outside activities like gentle walking or hiking are good. I see references to the Bird Kingdom. Is that good? Old Fort Niagara is a place we’d like to see. Any other good cultural attractions? Is there a preferred place to view the falls without being stuck in a crowded situation beyond our own limits? How difficult is going between Canada and the U.S. at the moment, especially with dogs in the car? My understanding is that carrying rabies documentation is all we need to do. Is the process slow? I’m assuming we would only have dogs with us as we arrive and depart. In between, if we made a day trip back across the border, the dogs would be crated in our lodging. Is making a day trip to see Old Fort Niagara a reasonable plan? I would love to get to Toronto, but that might add too much driving to a trip that’s already pushing us to our limits. Time in the car leads to pain and exhaustion. Google is telling me that would be a couple of hours each way. Anything closer to Niagara Falls or Port Colborne that we should see? Some of us like seeing animals, assuming that they’re responsibly housed and cared for; some like history, culture, interesting food, and museums. I’ll be grateful for any ideas.

Some fights are worth fighting. FIL isn’t just putting himself in danger by driving, he’s putting everyone on the road in danger. Would it be possible for your dh to take the keys, and then deal with his sister and his father? I know his vision may not allow that, but if it does, I really think he should. Dealing with the anger now would be easier than coping with the guilt and grief if there were an accident.

Sounds like he’s working hard while he’s in school, and may need to relax with his own interests at home. It’s entirely understandable that you get more dog talk than you prefer, but given the above, I think you’re doing a great job of connecting with him.

Boy, can I relate. Just saying. It does bug me when I carefully avoid topics that I know we strongly disagree about, but the other person keeps bringing the subjects up. In that case, I have sometimes just stated clearly that we’re better off not discussing that.

Hiking, maybe?

Do the kids have time? A certain amount of training could be done on their own, especially if they watched some videos for their own instruction and inspiration. Basic agility kits are available on Amazon. That’s not really helping you spend time with them, though. I will think about that.

This. Start from the special interest, and chain out to other related pursuits.

Melissa, I’m sorry you have to deal with this. I’m hoping you have talked to your doctor by now, but if not, please do go to the hospital if the same thing happens tonight. (I know it’s already night for you.)

I suspect I know the answer here, but I’d appreciate a gut check. Kids’ toys have been stored in the attic, where there is evidence of occasional mice. There are a few droppings on and among the toys. We’re talking about everything from wooden toys to stuffies to plastic. The toys are in good condition otherwise. We’re in a state which has had one documented case of hantavirus, thirty years ago. Obviously that’s not the only possible risk. With my own kids, taking similar stuff (some of it the very same stuff) from my parents’ similar attic, I cleaned things to the best of my ability and let the kids play with them. I had spent time in the attic myself as a kid… it didn’t seem like a big leap to let them handle toys from there. Should I toss these things out rather than donating them? Toss some, clean others? How dangerous is it to pass them on to other kids?

How’s your FIL doing today?

I’m glad he’s going in. Hope you get reassuring news soon, and he gets some relief.

That sounds like the best outcome for the moment.

😁😁😁 Okay, I fold. Though I count something like eight sets here, including “good” and everyday, old and merely vintage (because evidently I am also vintage now), and still regularly drool over gorgeous sets that I see going begging. Storage is the perennial issue, not the furniture, because we’d happily acquire more of that, but the space to put the furniture. My mother and grandmother both liked antiques, and the same grandmother painted a bit of china herself. Thankfully only a bit, as far as I know. So, yeah… and dh and I still love poking in antique and secondhand shops… That’s a lovely china cabinet. Your parents, @DawnM, and @TechWife do indeed have excellent taste. Great windows for plants, too.

Thinking of him, and of all of you

I like this idea. A window seat could add more storage space, too. For the laundry room, I strongly prefer side by side washer and dryer, having had to use a stacked pair. I know that’s a personal preference, though. Has anyone here had to bend down to fish stuff out of the back of a stacked washer while heavily pregnant? I’m just imagining that, based on assorted infirmities of an older age. Maybe it’s not a problem for fit young people. Anyway, my vote would be to preserve the possibility of side by side w/d for later occupants. I love the idea of a plumbed-in drain pan under the washer. We need to do that.

Heh. Keep in mind that we like old stuff here, including old china…. We have a china cabinet, and a sideboard, and a corner cupboard. The first and last have glass doors (on top, closed storage on the bottom), the other one has capacious storage behind wood doors.

If she needs to learn to say no, then yes, I agree with Eos. It’s awfully hard to handle the behaviors that can follow a direct “no” from a kid who is extremely reactive. On the other hand, maybe a less confrontational approach would help. She sounds like she’s knowledgeable about child development. Has she read, absorbed, and used the techniques in The Explosive Child? Is that Mom’s opposite direction, or is she more just capitulating under the pressure?

We’re traveling farther than we need to, so we can visit another place we’d like to see while being in the path of totality. None of us have ever had the experience of seeing a total eclipse before. I’m a bit worried, though, because dh could only get a couple of days off work, so we have four days total, and a drive of more than nine hours each way. It’s doable, just more strenuous than I would like.

I ordered the Lunt glasses listed in this review. https://reviews.chicagotribune.com/reviews/best-eclipse-viewing-glasses?cid=650117185&acid=10&aid=1246846834954308&eid=&tid=kwd-77928297514481:loc-4129&ul=86623&mt=e&n=s&d=m&dm=&m&sn&adid=&k=eclipse viewing glasses&p=&pc=&ap=&chtrb=1&msclkid=30f3bdd3a28119d192c4d8617c7c783d&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Tribune - Electronics - Bing&utm_term=eclipse viewing glasses&utm_content=Best Eclipse Viewing Glasses

This.

@Terabith I’m not cringing, exactly, because my priorities are so very different from those of very clean, neat, tidy people, and various threads here over the years have made that apparent. But let’s just say that you are not the only one with cluttered counters and uncleaned baseboards. We have perpetual doggy nose prints on the windows with the good view, and we don’t even notice them.

Got it. As for visiting, you have to draw your own lines. I had to quit visiting my parents overnight because there was literally no space for me to sleep. Then I quit visiting for day trips because there were garden saws on the floor of the front hall, and my older dd was a toddler. I get it. Hugs.

I’m sorry this is so difficult. I can actually relate to your mother’s reluctance to get rid of family stuff. I don’t know if she’s technically a hoarder, but grief at losing people can snowball, especially as the numbers that you have lost start to add up. I’m working to stay on the right side of the line between collecting and hoarding myself, having watched my mother slide into full-scale hoarding. So much of your life can become unrecoverable. You can easily get to the point that you can’t stand to lose anything with memories attached, and then it can tip over the edge into holding onto everything, because loss is so painful. Loss of people, loss of memories, loss of control. And then people start nagging at you to get rid of stuff, or worse yet they decide to do an “intervention” and just purge stuff without your involvement, and the loss of control is complete, and panic sets in. If your mother is somewhere on this progression, I would suggest that grief counseling might be more effective than addressing the hoarding directly. I wouldn’t even talk about the stuff. Try to dig up some empathy and address the grief. Even just letting her talk about people who have died, looking through photo albums, might give you an idea of whether this is an issue. Tell her lots of people find grief counselors helpful these days. Normalize it for her, if she’s likely to resist. Also… anxiety could be something you and your mother share. It could be contributing to your opposite responses to the stuff. If I’m completely off base, forgive the intrusion. I’m sorry you’re facing this problem, but it’s good you have a plan for handling it eventually. If you can find a way to not be bothered by it now, that would be great.

That sounds like a good reason to go to a different church.

Agreeing with others: I would have been taken aback by a demand to kill a bug, but would have been happy to take it outside. I hope that I would have recognized that you were under stress, and that the “killing” portion of your request wasn’t what was important to you, just the removal of the bug. To my ear, though, the request would have sounded odd, and I might have focused on the wrong part initially.