Then, perhaps, I'm just not that convicted where virginity is concerned. My husband is a decent, good man, who had partners before we were married (I don't know how many, but I do know of four). He never treated the girls shabbily, they got their calls in the morning, and their dinners and all that entails. They broke it off. His conviction, that women are not mere holes with which to enjoy himself, was one he stuck by. While his friends thought he might be gay, because he refused trains, etc. He stood by them (his morals/convictions/whatever, not his friends, that would've been...). I am more concerned that my sons see women/girls as fellow human beings and treat them accordingly. I am more concerned that they realize the responsibility sex entails. I do not want them to fear sex or to place it on some pedestal. I don't want them to see it as the Holy Grail of adulthood. I don't want them to get married so they can have sex. I do not want more importance placed on something that is fun, enjoyable and bonding, than I believe it merits.

:iagree: 40 year old Virgin Jump to conclusions much? I never said I wanted my sons collecting panties, raping and pillaging, or making knotches on head boards. You know, how about NOT ASSUMING I'm trying to make them gigalos BECAUSE I said there is a STIGMA attached to adult male virginity. For that matter, there is an amount of stigma attached to adult female virginity within many segments of society. I do not want my sons laboring under a cloud of 'wierdness' waiting for a mystery woman that may never show. I do not want their right arms swelled to the size of Popeye, because their forty and have yet to meet Miss Right. I do not want them to feel they will burn in hell if they decide they care about some woman and want to have sex. Due to certain issues in our family, my sons know, as does my daughter, that babies do not mysteriously appear on their wedding night. They know that people can have sex outside of marraige. It's a foregone conclusion. Finally, I'm not going to use craigslist or the streets of DC to find a receptive hole for my boys. But, I am not going to treat them like a skanky dog because they had sex with their girlfriend. :iagree: Which is one of the things we've already seen in my family and seen it dealt with well. My son knows, from seeing his parents, his grandparents (on my side) and his aunts and uncles, that marraige is forever, period. I would never expect him to make the same commitment to not having sex. :lol:

Sorry, but I had to catch up.... on page six, a zillion to go. I'll hire a hooker for their birthday :001_rolleyes: I would expect with someone they care about. Why does a girl have to be 'bad' to have premarital sex? Sure, why not. Sheesh, overreact much? My point was, a man, a full grown man, who is a virgin will be stigmatized. Especially given this society's belief that sex is 'natural' thus 'normal' thus 'healthy.' I don't necessarily agree with that belief, I do agree that engaging in sex is natural, normal and in the right circumstances, healthy; but I do not agree with what that mindset implies. If having sex is natural, normal and healthy, then abstaining must be unnatural, abnormal, and unhealthy. I want my son's to wait until they are ready to confront the possible results of their actions. I want them to wait until they are ready to truly care for their partner. I want them to have feelings involved, other than physical. At the same time, an adult man who is a virgin and not a monk/priest, is looked on as bizarre for the aformentioned reasons; and I fear for my sons that they will be tainted by that stigma. :iagree: At the very least, not where I live. The girls who are virgins well into their teens are looked on, by their peers, and some parents; as abnormal, unhealthily attached to their virginity, and abnormal. The standards are set by the society. Sure, anal sex and oral sex was all the rage here last year, among teens. Up until girls (and boys) started getting diagnosed with chlamidia and herpes in their throats. Suddenly, parents started to discuss the danger of this form of 'non-sex'.

:iagree:

You could call the post office/UPS/FedEx closest to you and leave a message.

The lineup for the Nickelodian channels is horrifying. Degrassy and a ton of other shows actually have TEENS having sex, or at least discussing it.

It's interesting how a community's expectations can effect the actions of its members. FI, I would guess that kids in church schools (not private schools, but the smaller, church run schools) can stick to their 'promise' up until they go off to 'the real world' and college. There, the expectations change. People expect college kids to do stupid/dangerous/wasteful/etc things. As they do in public school, as they do in private school. My husband and I have discussed this, our stance on our dc's impending private lives. I talk to my daughter, often, very very very often. I talk to her from experience. I talk with her honestly. I beg her to be ever mindful of situation. As for my sons, I have to say I'm horribly uncomfortable discussing it. Why? Because I admit that hearing about adult men that are virgins creeps me out a bit. I don't know that I want my boys to wait, if only because of the stigma that is attached to it. In the end, rather than saying do or don't, I think including sex into all of the adult things children are tempted to try is a better approach. Why place a higher signifigance on sex than drugs?

But YOU put a lot of effort into creating an atmosphere where learning happened without obvious coercion, right? Fun trips, interesting projects, etc. My guess is, you have to be incredibly proactive for unschooling to work. Not to mention, creative, resourceful, and ALWAYS ON. I couldn't do it. Why? Because, I do not have the patience, creativity, or money to make everything my son learns, something he would choose to learn.

:iagree:Unschooling, when done well, looks incredibly exhausting! It is my understanding that it puts MORE on the parents than regular hs. Rather than doing the easy thing (today we're learning blablabla), unschooling parents have the responsibility to MAKE their children interested and WANT to learn. IOW, the unschooling parents I know, and those being discussed on this board, are not unschooling in the traditional sense (oxymoron, right, but YKWIM). They are just using it as an excuse to let their children's mind and potential languish while they do whatever it is they do.

Whenever Dh starts to shut me out, I tell him. After all, I'm the one in the hobbit hole all day with no one to talk to. Normally, we do talk and hang out, from the time he gets home, until we both go to bed. We play video games together, not my favorite, and watch movies. Both of us are pretty good home-bodies, so we find things to do at home. Last year we made a New Year's resolution to make tea every day. We succeeded until March, but the experiment definitely brought us closer ;)

Coffee, but I brew it, lol. And clove cigarettes, they smell so yummy. Otherwise... I have too much of a guilt complex to spend moola on moi, when it seems like the kids always 'need' something. Answered my own question again, the internet. I just upgraded us from dial up to cable. Nat'l Geographic magazine and Reader's Digest.

Do the supplemental reading, read the extra book, and take the reviews. Imagine, if he was in p.s. they would force him to reread and reread and reread. Thank goodness he's with you!

It could be a nervous reaction to the move. He may be trying to communicate that things 'feel' different. I break out in hives, itchies, and what we call 'the rubs' whenever I'm nervous. Jocelyn gets blotches, Drew shuts down, Luke gets clingy and his sinuses have gone berserk in stressful situations.

From one Julie to another... ev-er-ee-where! It takes days to get the sand out of your hair, or so I've heard.

We're so boring. Earl Grey all the way. Occasionally, we drink yoga tea. It's supposed to calm you down, after a couple of pots of coffee, a hit of the yoga tea and we can sleep.

We like to jump on our bed. The dc are allowed to jump on their beds and sometimes... a couple times a week, dh and I like to jump on our bed. Since our bed is old, it's too dangerous for dc, so we lock our door. The kids think we've got the best bed jumpin' team around... we practice enough ;)

You may need to see a doctor and they may need to make sure your uterus is.... My cousin had the same thing happen and her body was unable to clean itself out without assistance..... This is not the easiest topic, but I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. I'm so sorry, that is such a terrible, sad .... :grouphug:

I read this story in either Guideposts or Reader's Digest, about a couple that would write SHMILY on little notes and put them in appropriate places. For instance, he folds the towels, so he slips one note into the folds. She cooks a good dinner and slips one note under his plate. They said it kept them grateful and reminded them to thank eachother. See How Much I Love You - SHMILY. I only wish my hubby was a big enough softy to play that game.

I put "other." Andrew is learning Latin, but we're not "Latin based." I'm following WTM and the curr./schedule in there...

You know, we were watching Chris Rock do stand-up one night and he talked/ranted/joked about how people never thank their fathers for the things they do. Since we've watched that I try to remember to thank my husband for providing us with electricity, water, t.v., and all the other things that get forgotton/overlooked/taken for granted. It may seem silly, but I've started thanking my dad for those things too and both men really appreciate it. Our ten year anniversary will be this coming September. I'm planning a bash, for him, because I know he loves big parties with all his friends. If it was all about me, we'd stay home, send the kids away and just hang out like we do every night :)

You may also want to look into tabs, they're much easier to read than regular sheet music. You can find most of the stuff you need, for free, online. Guitar mag. also has small lessons in every issue. The lessons are seasonal and cover nearly every way to play (pick, pluck, strum, etc).

My brother and I did. He's MUCH better than I am at making music up, but I can read notes, and sometimes have to remind him of the scales. Sure, you can teach yourself guitar, but don't expect to be Santana unless you have a real knack for it.

My daughter went through that. Now, she's like living with Jerry Seinfeld. He stops being funny after the thousandth sarcastic/caustic/cynical remark, just so you know. The other day, I finally told her, "You know, you come off as really b****y when you say things like that. I know you're trying to be funny, and I totally get the joke, but some people may not. As a matter of fact, with your dry, witty sense of humor, most people won't get the jokes. You should probably think about that before you start kidding around with people or while we're in public." Please note, this came off as more of a, 'oh my goodness, guess what I learned today,' rather than 'stop being so mean!' She was surprised to think someone could take her irritating comments on every thing to be anything but hilarious. Now she knows and instead of a broadcasting JS I have one that whispers in my ear. woohoo

I think it depends, my 12yo is not too bad to shop with, but the younger two... I'm yawning just thinking about it ;) Oh, and by now you'd think Mr.D would be capable of getting his OBGYN degree, not goofing about soft cervixes.