I am going to have the floor and counters replaced in the laundry room. It's a smallish one. We have a sink, and it gets USED. My husband mixes and paints with his own oil paints. I am a binge DIYer. We can not have a sink or counter that is delicate. Both will have to be scrubbed - sometimes with abrasives. Any ideas in what I could look for? The sink is currently set in a cabinet.

Not a huge deal, but if is sort of an annoying pattern that how women looks always seems like more of a talking point then how men look.

I like to use a five minute timer when I can't get started. I set it and clean in one room for five minutes. When it rings, I have to move to a different room. I can go back after it rings or keep moving. It always helps me get some momentum, and I am often surprised at how much I can get done in five minute periods.

Write out your plan, talk through it with you doctor, ask her to explain why she objects to any items, research areas where she raises objections, and ultimately submit a plan. How your OB responds to your questions and to your demands will give you in formation about her. Tell her about your fear she will sneak in medications. Get it all on the table. You have a right to be listened to and to have your decisions respected. She may have a right not to be your care provider if she believes your plan is medically ill advised. A tragic outcome will affect her too, and if either of you can not accept the other's bottom line, now is the time to find out.

You would suggest a woman with a history of preeclampsia and previous c-section have a home birth?

I did not want to go to Disney, but we did it. The kids enjoyed it, the adults enjoyed it, but none of us has any desire to go again. There are so many others things I would like to see and do.

So it is "perfectly safe" to drink one glass of wine, but you would advise against it because normal pregnant women can't reliably count to one?

I wish I could honestly say I am free from caring. But even as I recognize that caring is a burden and hinders women from making good evidence based choices (or preference based choices, for that matter), truly losing my 'care what others think' tendency seems impossibly hard.

Do you mean no cooking? EDITED: this was supposed to say, "do you mind cooking" lol. Things that worked for me: - grilling extra chicken so it can be thrown in a salad, added to burritos, etc. - cooking breakfast - pancakes enriched with whole grains, flax meal, etc. Pumpkin pancakes were well loved. Eggs, good quality sausage (that can be expensive), oatmeal with an egg beaten into it, etc. - homemade whole grain bread (or buy it if you can afford it) on hand. All of us like toast. Wolfe grain toast with peanut butter was well liked. - I wasn't too concerned about some sweets, and made a lot of pumpkin pie. My boys devoured them. I often made two when all three boys lived at home. Some desserts like rice or bread pudding have some decent protein and are not expensive. - in general, I let go of having 'meal food' and 'snack food.' One boy in particular wanted meal food all the time.

Lizzie, praying for you, Jenna, and your whole family. I am praying that people in your life will provide love, support, a meal, an ear, or whatever other needs you have. I know many of us wish we could help in more tangible ways.

Women have to make their own choices about alcohol during pregnancy. There is no scientific evidence that light drinking presents a risk to a baby. But it is reasonable (perhaps advisable) to abstain based on clear evidence that heavy drinking can be dangerous for the unborn. But this whole discussion started with a post expressing concern that a husband's coworkers might notice not drinking. Why does that even matter? Pregnant or not, why do we as women even factor in what others notice or think? One woman, seeing no evidence that a glass of wine presents a risk, still worries that people will judge her if she has that glass of wine. Another decides not to drink 'just in case' but worries that a spouse's coworker might draw a conclusion. Is there any way women can just live their lives without this crushing sense of being under scrutiny? Is there any hope that women can just look at data, consider the weight of scientific evidence, and make a confident decision? Am I crazy to hope the world will ever trust women to do that? Why on earth does a woman need an explanation for having or not having a glass of wine.? Do people really see us so much as 'walking wombs' that not having a drink is assumed to be about pregnancy and not about a stomach ulcer, trouble sleeping, a prescription drug that should not be taken with alcohol, reflux, driving safety, or one of dozens of others reasons not to drink?

Am I? When I think of not liking a spouse, I would think that not having things like physical affection, respect, or conversation could be part of that. Sorry if I was out of line.

It's amazing to me how people do it. DH is family law attorney and I have worked in his firm too. There are people who come in who have been in sexless marriage where they hardly talk for YEARS. I guess there is a difference between not being 'in love' and actively disliking a spouse. I don't think I could live in a home for years with someone who didn't like or respect me and for whom I also had no affection. I think some people are scared. They are afraid of the financial impact and afraid of how it will impact their families. They lack the energy, courage, confidence or imagination to build a new life.

Yeah, it's true. But I think given a number of people who find it rude, I can easily expand my conversational 'Best Practices' list. Don't ask a woman if she's pregnant; Don't say 'you look tired' to someone over 40, unless you are close enough to them that you plan to help them out by doing the dishes, babysitting her kids, etc; Don't ask, "Are they all yours?' To an adult with a number of kids; Don't ask people speaking accented English where they are from if you aren't already engaged in a reasonably friendly conversation with them. That leaves a ton of other things to small talk about.

True in some ways for me. I am much more anxious about risks my children undertake and more aware of how dumb people are. I am convinced that if I water ski on a nice weekend, some drunk idiot will plow into me in a boat. I am more careful driving, more afraid of drunk drivers, and more alert to personal safety in public. But I also find myself more free to take risks for myself if It's something I really want to do. I am more willing to hike in tricky places, swim across a current, etc. I would love to try caving. I did read descent, and would still try it. My youngest are 19. I have fulfilled my biological function, and it is very freeing.

I think what happens is that people get asked a question over and over and it becomes tiresome. A person asking, "Where are you from," is probably just making conversation and has no ill intent. But a person who has been asked that question six times this week can get annoyed - especially if it's one of the first questions people ask, implying that is the most interesting thing about them. When someone is checking out groceries, for example, there's lots of questions you could ask if you want to show interest in them. "How is your day going?" "Have you been able to enjoy this beautiful day at all?" "I don't think I have seen you here before, are you new?" And of course, no question is necessary. You can make all kinds of comments that don't require an answer. When I had baby twins people asked me questions all the time. It didn't bother me so much, but I know a lot of my friends in my Mom of Multiples club found it pretty irritating. One person at the grocery asking if the babies are identical, if they were full term, if they run in the family, is no big deal. But when it's part of every outing, every day, it can annoy the Mom. I don't think it's necessarily rude to ask where someone is from, but I think it's important to recognize that people don't necessarily want to talk to strangers, don't necessarily want to answer any questions about themselves, and if they are happy to engage, probably would like to not have that be the first topic.

That is a question that one person will sometimes ask another in the South - mostly older people. Someone might have traveled around or lived in different places, but most people are (were?) assumed to have a place that was home in a deeper sense - a place where maybe a few generations had lived/farmed. So, "Where are her people from?" says, "I know she lives in this city now, but where are her roots?"

I think it's normal that others will use a nickname they hear. They can't know your feelings unless you tell them.

I agree with this. EDited - I agreed with the general opinion. I have no specific knowledge or memory of the OPs own case.

Not only is it a great zoo, its a great botanical garden. When we were stationed in the area we had a family pass and sometimes I would go just to walk or even to sit. But the wild animal park is also a must see.

There is also a limit on out of pocket expenses, so if I understand correctly: You pay a copay only on preventative care, prescriptions, and some other things that require a copay (not sure what); Then there are treatments that you must pay for until a deductible is met (for the individual that would be $2,275); After that, you pay the 30% until you reach the limit on what you can be required to pay out of pocket (in network, $6,900 for an individual). Then nothing. Is that right?

I don't have a strong opinion. When I got married we had a 50 person wedding. We both have small families and my father did not invite any business associates at all, so that door was not opened. It was not cheap, but most of the excess expense was to suit my parents. They would not want to host a wedding without a nice sit down meal and open bar. They want to not let people travel and then feed them hor d'oeurves (for me personally hor d'oeurves are my favorite meal). My mother is not someone who wants any do-it-yourself projects on her list. I was not that interested in wedding stuff. So Mom found a venue, chose the food, hired musicians, and I showed up. I did have my dress made. I went to the florist with her. So she really made the decisions that drove the budget. I was willing to just let her do it because I was busy, lived in another state, and knew she would do it nicely. I have sons. The first married at the magistrate's and we took them out for a very nice meal. Got off easy. I would absolutely hate to do a daughters wedding that required a lot of creativity in my part. I'm just not good at that kind of thing. If would cause me so much stress! I can see paying people to handle details to avoid that. I would not want to ask my friends to do the work. But I also wouldn't spend $25k. So I guess I would hope for a small wedding!

Can you get experienced advice anywhere else? I worry that the hospital may be giving you an 'all or nothing' choice because they are under some kind of pressure (to keep paperwork down, discourage use of public resources, keep the hours down of hospital social workers or other employees who could assist you in accessing help, etc.) Some hospitals provide help with making choices at a transition - like finding another placement or accessing government supported assistance at home. I would not want to make this choice before I had all the information I could about options. I also would not want to say, "I can't," if that might start down a road I don't want to go down (for example, if they might recommend that you are not a suitable career and that a new guardian be appointed for her). You are emotional and exhausted and should not have to make these decisions without talking to someone who is knowledgeable and who can help you advocate for yourself and your whole family.

Total stranger (male): Your twins are beautiful. Me: Thank you. TS: Were you pregnant with more but aborted one?

((((Sadie)))) I hope you got some sleep and will be able to take care of yourself a bit too in all this. I am so sorry you are going through this and that she is going through what she is. I am glad, though, that she has you. It seems to me that a parent who can honestly say, "I do have regrets and I'm sorry for my mistakes," is a precious thing. In some ways, it might be better than a parent who doesn't appear to make mistakes. Try to speak kindly to yourself.