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Danestress

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Everything posted by Danestress

  1. That's not a really hard thing to train. It starts with training the dog to do all his business in your own yard before walking. My dog has a 'peeing bush.' I can then walk to where there are natural areas where he can be freer. In addition to damaging tender plants, it is kind of gross to allow a dog to be pee where someone digs, weeds, deadheads etc. My sweet neighbor walks with a spray bottle of water so he can dilute the pee if his dog urinates in someone else's yard. I honestly don't care if a dog pees on my lawn or a tree. I love dogs. But peeing in my pansy beds would annoy me.
  2. I need advice about clothing (sources would be great) for people with sensitive skin. I have always been 'reactive' but the last few months have been really bad. I have had welts and rashes nonstop. I went to the dermatologist and learned I have dermatographia (both a skin affliction and an awesome party trick). I think that has always been there, to some extent. The heart of the issue is that anything that bind or rubs (pant waists, bras, socks, sandals) makes me erupt with a hive-like rash. It itches like crazy. Zyrtec is helping, but I think I am in this for a while. I don't need a great deal of chest support, but camis with a bra shelf are almost worse. Yoga pants, which I have always loved around the house, make me break out on my hips. Jeans are terrible. I am slender (narrow hips, nothing that not really would create unusual friction). All I can think of is flannel - but it's July! I feel too old to wear shorts and too young to wear geriatric clothing. Has anyone explored this for themselves?
  3. Since you said you are open to ideas, would they consider not having anyone stand for them? DH and I had a traditional, somewhat formal church wedding, but we chose to just have the two of us at the alter. It was easy, reverent, and felt right to us. My siblimg are beloved and were very much part of the day, but there really doesn't have to be a cast of characters to be married. A number of people told me how special it seemed with just a man and woman before a priest.
  4. I am going to have the floor and counters replaced in the laundry room. It's a smallish one. We have a sink, and it gets USED. My husband mixes and paints with his own oil paints. I am a binge DIYer. We can not have a sink or counter that is delicate. Both will have to be scrubbed - sometimes with abrasives. Any ideas in what I could look for? The sink is currently set in a cabinet.
  5. Not a huge deal, but if is sort of an annoying pattern that how women looks always seems like more of a talking point then how men look.
  6. I like to use a five minute timer when I can't get started. I set it and clean in one room for five minutes. When it rings, I have to move to a different room. I can go back after it rings or keep moving. It always helps me get some momentum, and I am often surprised at how much I can get done in five minute periods.
  7. I have thin, straight, shoulder length hair. It is gray - people say it is a pretty gray. I can pull it back in a clip or French twist, which is my 'librarian look.' It takes 30 seconds. I can put it in a pony tail to work out (I never wear one otherwise, because it does seem like too young of a style for me). I can blow it dry, iron the ends, and wear it down. I spend almost no time on my hair and have it cut infrequently. I probably could have a cut that looks more up-to-date, but nothing could be easier or cheaper. ETA- I guess it's actually a could of inches longer than shoulder length.
  8. Write out your plan, talk through it with you doctor, ask her to explain why she objects to any items, research areas where she raises objections, and ultimately submit a plan. How your OB responds to your questions and to your demands will give you in formation about her. Tell her about your fear she will sneak in medications. Get it all on the table. You have a right to be listened to and to have your decisions respected. She may have a right not to be your care provider if she believes your plan is medically ill advised. A tragic outcome will affect her too, and if either of you can not accept the other's bottom line, now is the time to find out.
  9. You would suggest a woman with a history of preeclampsia and previous c-section have a home birth?
  10. I did not want to go to Disney, but we did it. The kids enjoyed it, the adults enjoyed it, but none of us has any desire to go again. There are so many others things I would like to see and do.
  11. So it is "perfectly safe" to drink one glass of wine, but you would advise against it because normal pregnant women can't reliably count to one?
  12. I wish I could honestly say I am free from caring. But even as I recognize that caring is a burden and hinders women from making good evidence based choices (or preference based choices, for that matter), truly losing my 'care what others think' tendency seems impossibly hard.
  13. Do you mean no cooking? EDITED: this was supposed to say, "do you mind cooking" lol. Things that worked for me: - grilling extra chicken so it can be thrown in a salad, added to burritos, etc. - cooking breakfast - pancakes enriched with whole grains, flax meal, etc. Pumpkin pancakes were well loved. Eggs, good quality sausage (that can be expensive), oatmeal with an egg beaten into it, etc. - homemade whole grain bread (or buy it if you can afford it) on hand. All of us like toast. Wolfe grain toast with peanut butter was well liked. - I wasn't too concerned about some sweets, and made a lot of pumpkin pie. My boys devoured them. I often made two when all three boys lived at home. Some desserts like rice or bread pudding have some decent protein and are not expensive. - in general, I let go of having 'meal food' and 'snack food.' One boy in particular wanted meal food all the time.
  14. Lizzie, praying for you, Jenna, and your whole family. I am praying that people in your life will provide love, support, a meal, an ear, or whatever other needs you have. I know many of us wish we could help in more tangible ways.
  15. Women have to make their own choices about alcohol during pregnancy. There is no scientific evidence that light drinking presents a risk to a baby. But it is reasonable (perhaps advisable) to abstain based on clear evidence that heavy drinking can be dangerous for the unborn. But this whole discussion started with a post expressing concern that a husband's coworkers might notice not drinking. Why does that even matter? Pregnant or not, why do we as women even factor in what others notice or think? One woman, seeing no evidence that a glass of wine presents a risk, still worries that people will judge her if she has that glass of wine. Another decides not to drink 'just in case' but worries that a spouse's coworker might draw a conclusion. Is there any way women can just live their lives without this crushing sense of being under scrutiny? Is there any hope that women can just look at data, consider the weight of scientific evidence, and make a confident decision? Am I crazy to hope the world will ever trust women to do that? Why on earth does a woman need an explanation for having or not having a glass of wine.? Do people really see us so much as 'walking wombs' that not having a drink is assumed to be about pregnancy and not about a stomach ulcer, trouble sleeping, a prescription drug that should not be taken with alcohol, reflux, driving safety, or one of dozens of others reasons not to drink?
  16. Am I? When I think of not liking a spouse, I would think that not having things like physical affection, respect, or conversation could be part of that. Sorry if I was out of line.
  17. It's amazing to me how people do it. DH is family law attorney and I have worked in his firm too. There are people who come in who have been in sexless marriage where they hardly talk for YEARS. I guess there is a difference between not being 'in love' and actively disliking a spouse. I don't think I could live in a home for years with someone who didn't like or respect me and for whom I also had no affection. I think some people are scared. They are afraid of the financial impact and afraid of how it will impact their families. They lack the energy, courage, confidence or imagination to build a new life.
  18. Yeah, it's true. But I think given a number of people who find it rude, I can easily expand my conversational 'Best Practices' list. Don't ask a woman if she's pregnant; Don't say 'you look tired' to someone over 40, unless you are close enough to them that you plan to help them out by doing the dishes, babysitting her kids, etc; Don't ask, "Are they all yours?' To an adult with a number of kids; Don't ask people speaking accented English where they are from if you aren't already engaged in a reasonably friendly conversation with them. That leaves a ton of other things to small talk about.
  19. True in some ways for me. I am much more anxious about risks my children undertake and more aware of how dumb people are. I am convinced that if I water ski on a nice weekend, some drunk idiot will plow into me in a boat. I am more careful driving, more afraid of drunk drivers, and more alert to personal safety in public. But I also find myself more free to take risks for myself if It's something I really want to do. I am more willing to hike in tricky places, swim across a current, etc. I would love to try caving. I did read descent, and would still try it. My youngest are 19. I have fulfilled my biological function, and it is very freeing.
  20. I think what happens is that people get asked a question over and over and it becomes tiresome. A person asking, "Where are you from," is probably just making conversation and has no ill intent. But a person who has been asked that question six times this week can get annoyed - especially if it's one of the first questions people ask, implying that is the most interesting thing about them. When someone is checking out groceries, for example, there's lots of questions you could ask if you want to show interest in them. "How is your day going?" "Have you been able to enjoy this beautiful day at all?" "I don't think I have seen you here before, are you new?" And of course, no question is necessary. You can make all kinds of comments that don't require an answer. When I had baby twins people asked me questions all the time. It didn't bother me so much, but I know a lot of my friends in my Mom of Multiples club found it pretty irritating. One person at the grocery asking if the babies are identical, if they were full term, if they run in the family, is no big deal. But when it's part of every outing, every day, it can annoy the Mom. I don't think it's necessarily rude to ask where someone is from, but I think it's important to recognize that people don't necessarily want to talk to strangers, don't necessarily want to answer any questions about themselves, and if they are happy to engage, probably would like to not have that be the first topic.
  21. That is a question that one person will sometimes ask another in the South - mostly older people. Someone might have traveled around or lived in different places, but most people are (were?) assumed to have a place that was home in a deeper sense - a place where maybe a few generations had lived/farmed. So, "Where are her people from?" says, "I know she lives in this city now, but where are her roots?"
  22. I think it's normal that others will use a nickname they hear. They can't know your feelings unless you tell them.
  23. I agree with this. EDited - I agreed with the general opinion. I have no specific knowledge or memory of the OPs own case.
  24. Not only is it a great zoo, its a great botanical garden. When we were stationed in the area we had a family pass and sometimes I would go just to walk or even to sit. But the wild animal park is also a must see.
  25. There is also a limit on out of pocket expenses, so if I understand correctly: You pay a copay only on preventative care, prescriptions, and some other things that require a copay (not sure what); Then there are treatments that you must pay for until a deductible is met (for the individual that would be $2,275); After that, you pay the 30% until you reach the limit on what you can be required to pay out of pocket (in network, $6,900 for an individual). Then nothing. Is that right?
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