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Danestress

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Everything posted by Danestress

  1. It would seem better worded to me if it said they attract men, without claiming to know they were 'intended' to do so. I can't guess God's intent, and if there were no God, does evolution have a cognitive intent? But Whatever the 'intent' I don't think it is wrong to explain that breast development is a marker of sexual maturity and that they attract sexual mating partners. What I notice, though, is that no mention is made about breasts being a source of sexual pleasure for women. So how they make men feel gets included, but how they are sexually stimulating for women is not?
  2. We are having all our downstairs floors refinished and having hardwood installed in the two downstairs rooms that are currently carpeted. There is only one room that will not be affected downstairs. What do I need to know about getting ready for this? I have a good (highly recommended by homeowners and a contractor I trust) company to do the sanding, staining and finishing. He does not do the furniture removal. We may rent a pod. We could feasibly move everything upstairs, to the garage or into the one unaffected room, but part of me wants to rent a pod so can take our time and not live with chaos in the process. I am hoping this is an opportunity to get DH and I to do a major purge of stuff. I think the question I have is how much everything needs to be moved. For example, can things in cabinets stay there? Does everything need to come off the walls? If we have bookshelves, would it work to put plastic over them but leave the books in the shelves? We will be having hardwood installed in our master closet. Can clothes in the shelves remain there if we cover the shelves with plastic? My mom lives a mile away and we are going to live with her while the work is being done. Anything we need during that week we can keep at her house, so that will make it easier. Still, I am a bit anxious! If you have done this, Is there anything you wish you had known?
  3. Do not respond. Anything you say or write, regardless of the content, any communication from you at all, will be an encouragement to him. Do not deceive yourself that you will say the 'perfect thing' to make him leave you alone.
  4. Honestly, I would not want to be responsible for a group of children outside during the eclipse. It's not fear of litigation. I don't think I could insure that no impulsive child would look at the partly eclipsed sun and suffer retinal damage. I would feel the weight of guilt and grief the rest of my life if that happened. Why would I agree to being put in that position?
  5. Not a left over fan. The majority of foods are not improved by heating and reheating, imho. Stews can the the exception. I tend to cook what we will eat in one night. If I cook too much, most of the time someone will eat it - but sometimes not. I actually do prefer a good sandwich to most leftovers.
  6. I looked to find the specific language used in our service. I think I t was identical to this from the Church of England. I included the vows of the bride and groom so you could see the context: ...... The minister says to the bridegroom: N, will you take N to be your wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live? He answers: I will. The minister says to the bride: N, will you take N to be your husband? Will you love him, comfort him, honour and protect him, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live? She answers: I will. The minister says to the congregation: Will you, the families and friends of N and N, support and uphold them in their marriage now and in the years to come? All: We will.
  7. My father walked me up the aisles and then sat down without saying anything. At some point in ceremony, the priest asked the assembled guests if they would support and uphold us as a couple. All present responded "We will." I personally liked this arrangement. I think we are a close family, but the ceremony wasn't about parents or families of origin. It was about a man and woman becoming a married couple. We didn't even have bridesmaids or groomsmen.
  8. I might need legal representation for a legal issue. I don't need an attorney to help me deal with people looking at me funny. I didn't need some worthless "credential" card to feel safe taking my children in public. Usually when someone looks at me funny, it turns out I have mismatched shoes on, mascara all around my eyes, or forgot to brush my hair. I had the occasional annoying question from busybodies. I felt ok answering or not. I never worried about being reported to CPS. If I needed attorney, I would want to hire one I chose. I would hire attorney who has experience with CPS in my jurisdiction. I think HSLDA profits by generating fear.
  9. I think we need a second word to describe something that is greatly valued within a family because of the story or the tradition of passing it down, but that is of no great value to a collector or connoisseur. To me an heirloom is an object of intrinsic value. Also, maybe we need a word for something passed down for generations that was quite pricey when purchased but that almost no one wants now because of an ugly, outdated style that is sure to never come back in style. I have a few of those.
  10. I would want my daughter to know I support her if she chooses to leave. I would talk to her about the incidents, help her identify what is happening and name it (for example, to recognize - what verbal abuse is), and support her in any way she needs. But it would be her decision. I would want her to know I think she has everything it takes to handle this, make a good decision, and deal with the results. I have resented being told to quit things when there are difficulties. But I do think that in this situation, quitting seems like the right choice, and I would tell her that. I would just want her to come to the decision herself. I would want her believe in her own worth, do want is right for her, and believe in her own ability to navigate this.
  11. I am not someone who has a perfect response on hand. If someone made that comment to me, I might think she was asking why I use my own pen. And I would probably answer truthfully. It would not occur to me that someone would take offense, and I think it's sort of silly that she did, if she did. She may very well have just been teasing you. In any case, I am not particularly sensitive. In your shoes I would not necessarily have the most sensitive answer, but I also wouldn't take offense to what you answered.
  12. I am soooo with him. Why say you are taking, "Poli Sci" when it takes maybe a 10th of a second to say, "Political Science?" But "veggies" is in a class of its own.
  13. The word "veggies." Can we please just call them 'vegetables?'
  14. Forget about whether he/she suspects you are over reacting. Your dd is reporting symptoms that could indicate a concussion, amongst other things. Even if your doctor thinks you are an over-reactive hysteric, he/she will still want to do a basic CYA exam, and will be paid to do so. You get what you/dd needs, doctor gets paid. Maybe he/she thinks you are a overreacting. Maybe you think he/she is incompetent. I suspect he/she doesn't worry a lot about what you think of him/her. Don't let yourself be affected by that kind of concern yourself.
  15. Sometimes you have to be very direct with people even if it makes them mad. Let them be mad. They love you and the kids and will likely get over it. I would tell them that I think I'm a good mother, that I think I make pretty good decisions, and that my decision is to homeschool. I would tell them this is not a topic that is open for further discussion. I would tell them that they are marvelous grandparents, that the children love them, that I love them, but that it's inappropriate for them to continue to question and criticize this choice. I would tell them that you have heard their opinion, that you care about what they think, But that ultimately you and their father make the decisions. Your parents are not respecting you and how you feel, but it seems that you're trying to find all kinds of ways to manage the situation without hurting their feelings. I think you can express to them a great deal of love, gratitude, and respect, and still tell them that as an adult and parent you expect them to respect your choices.
  16. I definitely look older with my hair gray. But I don't understand why 'older' is a terrible way to look.
  17. Thank you all so much for your responses! There were some questions about what I've tried. This is all really new to me, I had assumed I was either allergic to a cleaning product or I had scabies, syphilis, or Rocky Mountain spotted fever:). So I hadn't tried much besides eliminating products I thought may be a problem. I'm starting to understand that while the response is a histamine response, the trigger can be pretty mechanical. Except for working out, I mostly wear cotton. But I think it's really the rubbing on me that gets a reaction going. Clearly underwire bras were things with elastic are absolutely out for the foreseeable future! Thank you so much for responding, and I do realize I have a pretty mild case compared to some people. Reading online, I feel relatively blessed. I wasn't even aware that there are histamines in diet. I'm going to start working on that. I can't believe how high my diet is in histamine, because all of my favorite foods are high in histamine. Wine, yogurt, fish, avocados, pickles, vinegary food that's pretty much a list of everything I love in life.
  18. I don't have a huge fireworks beef, but I don't understand calling laws restricting them 'silly.' Like it or not, there are perfectly valid reasons why lawmakers might restrict the sale possession or use of certain types of fireworks. For example, there are risks of fire, damage to property, and injury to people. People can argue about how much risk there really is and how that risk should be weighed against people's desire to use them, but that's a legislative issue. Whether you live in a restrictive state or liberal state, if you don't like the law, work to change it. "It's fun for me" doesn't seem like a good enough argument for breaking that law. I do like like having speed limits, though I may disagree with the limits in certain places. I don't want to eliminate speed limits. I recognize we have them as a matter of public safety. I still break them (modestly). Sometimes it is safer to go with the pace of traffic than to go at a speed limit that is much slower. So in that case, I think there are sometimes good reasons to drive a bit over the limit. Raw milk? It's not illegal to drink it, generally, even where selling it may be illegal. Prescription drugs? Generally giving a Vicodin to a husband only creates a risk for him (and a remote legal risk for you). Again, a law I might break (but never have had reason to) in an emergency. But I know I would never petition to change the law. It seems like a good thing generally to restrict prescription drug, but I can imagine a time when breaking the law might seem right.
  19. I don't see squirrels, rabbits, or chipmunks peeing in my flower beds much. I'm sure they do, but they tend to shy away from the most exposed parts of the yard. Four or five dogs a day certainly produces more damaging and smelly pee. It's not that big of a deal where I live, because there are more spaces for dogs to pee in unlandscaped areas. But in the neighborhood as described above, I can see it might be a problem for some neighbors. I think it's perfectly reasonable for people to expect that there plantings not be peed on. As a dog owner and good neighbor, I would consider it my obligation to problem solve. Picking up the poo is mandatory. Pee is actually harder as it can't be removed.
  20. Probably better to use that energy to petition local government to restrict fireworks by type, time or place, and then to strictly enforce those limits.
  21. That's not a really hard thing to train. It starts with training the dog to do all his business in your own yard before walking. My dog has a 'peeing bush.' I can then walk to where there are natural areas where he can be freer. In addition to damaging tender plants, it is kind of gross to allow a dog to be pee where someone digs, weeds, deadheads etc. My sweet neighbor walks with a spray bottle of water so he can dilute the pee if his dog urinates in someone else's yard. I honestly don't care if a dog pees on my lawn or a tree. I love dogs. But peeing in my pansy beds would annoy me.
  22. I need advice about clothing (sources would be great) for people with sensitive skin. I have always been 'reactive' but the last few months have been really bad. I have had welts and rashes nonstop. I went to the dermatologist and learned I have dermatographia (both a skin affliction and an awesome party trick). I think that has always been there, to some extent. The heart of the issue is that anything that bind or rubs (pant waists, bras, socks, sandals) makes me erupt with a hive-like rash. It itches like crazy. Zyrtec is helping, but I think I am in this for a while. I don't need a great deal of chest support, but camis with a bra shelf are almost worse. Yoga pants, which I have always loved around the house, make me break out on my hips. Jeans are terrible. I am slender (narrow hips, nothing that not really would create unusual friction). All I can think of is flannel - but it's July! I feel too old to wear shorts and too young to wear geriatric clothing. Has anyone explored this for themselves?
  23. Since you said you are open to ideas, would they consider not having anyone stand for them? DH and I had a traditional, somewhat formal church wedding, but we chose to just have the two of us at the alter. It was easy, reverent, and felt right to us. My siblimg are beloved and were very much part of the day, but there really doesn't have to be a cast of characters to be married. A number of people told me how special it seemed with just a man and woman before a priest.
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