I 100% agree with this. You have every right to confront them, and yes, it will take you far out of your comfort zone to do so, but this is a hurt that needs to be dealt with right away. Stewing over it will only make other things that occur hurt even more. An open, honest line of communication needs to be created or this behavior from your aunt and mother will continue because they are "seeing" you will accept it by not confronting it. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I have a family that plays games like this too, and I used to take it. I began confronting behaviors similar to these over the past year, and it has made a world of difference for my heart and my family. :grouphug:

Nothing! But, don't you dare ask what my countertop looks like! :D

Your dh is awesome!!!

I have heard that men can nest as well. I've never seen it though! I think it's fabulous that he's doing all that for you and your family!

I will be honest. I don't get down on the floor & play with my boys. I read to them, do arts/crafts with them (although I'm not a big fan of the messes), go for walks with them, and I spend time with them in the same room or cuddled together to watch a movie/show. We also play board or card games together. I don't like to pretend play with them. I am horrible at it since I don't get or care about some of the stories they create (Star Wars is one I can think of), and I find pretend play to be boring. I know that sounds horrible, but it's the truth. They have each other, and they are privvy to at least one playdate a week. I don't feel I am depriving them because I am available to them in all other aspects whenever they want/need me. I also think it's important for children to not rely on their parents for every part of their existence. eta - I hope this makes sense, my boys and dh are wrestling loudly as I attempt to type this. :tongue_smilie:

Many congratulations!!!! Enjoy her!

We have fit all the IKEA bookshelves and the entertainment center we bought in our minivan with the back seats down and our kids in the middle captains chairs. The entertainment center was one trip since it was 4 sections and 4 doors. Bookshelves were another. We have Expedit and Billy shelves. They come with instructions and all the tools you need. They are not difficult to put together at all. We love IKEA!

:iagree: "All the time" is key here as there are so many factors that can interrupt our best intentions to do it all: temperment of the children (and the mom), ability to obtain resources, time, outside influences (could be work related, family related, church related, etc), health of the child/mom, support of the spouse. These are just some of them. One thing I've learned is that there is just TOO much to teach, and that I will NEVER be able to cover it all. I will do my best do cover what I can well, but it won't ever ALL get done. That is impossible. Once I allowed myself to realize this, a whole lot of unnecessary stress was lifted, and now I am a calmer homeschooling mom. Gosh, I haven't even been able to learn all I can about a specific subject because in essence our ability to study something is limitless. If this weren't the case, we wouldn't have perpetual students, professors, scientists, linguists, anthropologists, sociologists, mathematicians, astronomers, philosophers, theologians, historians, and so on.

I wish I had the time to learn how to knit! http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2011/10/new-zealand-penguins-in-need-of-sweaters/

#1 & #2 dh, my mom, and my 2 sisters. My dh faints at the sight of blood, so my sisters were there to keep him from being on the ground! During the birth for #1, I not only had the medical staff, but the President of the hospital and other administrators that were making rounds of the hospital to "be in touch" with the staff. They stayed and watched the entire birth, although I pretty much forgot they were there!

What a tough burden to carry. I'm so sorry. :grouphug: I agree with other posters about talking to dh and suggesting other alternatives be it travel, staying home and doing a close immediate family holiday, or you just not attending because you don't feel well. When it's this painful, it's fully acceptable to erect boundaries, imho. I hope you are able to find a balance that works for you. :grouphug:

I am so sorry. Definitely praying for the family and for your son as he copes and tries to understand what happened to his friend. :grouphug:

So glad he was found and is okay!!! I can't imagine coming home to find a missing child sleeping in my bed!

What a great idea!!! I'm going to mention this to dh! Thank you!

I graduated from college in '95. Dh and I were engaged a year later and married in 1997. My 20 yr. high school reunion is this year - I feel like that was just yesterday too. In music, the '90s are discussed like the 80s... scary!

Oh no! The incubation can be anywhere from 3-7 days; I hope that you did not catch the stomach bug, but it sounds as if you may have. I'm sorry! Try to get some rest if you can. :grouphug:

This is exactly what the core of the problem is with dh. He is embarrassed because the TV broke, and it would be difficult for us to replace it. Last night, after I read some of the repsonses, I pointed out how his pride is the bigger issue here. I told him how all of you said ds was commendable and how treating him as anything other is just wrong and painful. We discussed how his father used to do that to him and how much it hurt him. Afterward, he chose to go into ds's room to say goodnight and thank him for his behavior, praise him, and tell him that daddy is angry but he still loves him very much. I am proud of him for that. I suggested he call his brother today to explain that *HE* can't let this go and to ask how we can repay him - would he like us to buy a new TV or the money to go get his own or would something else suffice? I'm curious to see if he will do this or if he will accept the grace that has been granted. At this point, imo, it's between dh and his brother. Thanks again for the ever so kind words about my ds. We are trying so hard to raise our boys with integrity, respect, and honesty while coming from families where this was poorly taught. It feels good to know others can recognize our efforts. He's a special kid, and a challenge in many ways, but his heart is so good, and I don't want that to be broken by dh or me. You have no idea how much I appreciate you all! Thank you.

Thank you everyone for validating my thoughts that what ds did in apologizing on his own was amazing enough in itself. Dh is a good man, but he grew up in a household filled with A LOT of anger, so his initial response is anger. He has been working on it through therapy, and he has made great strides. A year ago, he would have verbally exploded on ds in front of everyone; tonight, he did not (and I am so thankful). I have pointed out to dh that I think what ds did was commendable. I am going to talk to him about seeing the mercy BIL has given to ds. I think he will come around. Elegantlion, your comment about grace made me cry... it's so perfect. Thank you, ladies, for helping to ease this mom's heart!

My 8yo accidentally broke my BIL's 36" flat screen today while playing the Wii. We don't have the Wii at our house (or any game console system), so as he was playing he ended up migrating closer to the TV. He swung his arm and the controller slipped and shattered the TV screen. It was an accident, and ds feels horrible about it. Ds immediately walked up to my BIL who was in another room (without stopping to tell dh and me) and told BIL that he broke his TV. He was crying and apologizing. Dh was instantly angry because we cannot afford to replace the TV right now. BIL tried to calm my ds down, stressed it was an accident, said it's just a TV & it's 5 years old, etc (BIL has lots of money & lots of TVs in his house, so he truly believes it's no big deal). Dh is ready to explode, but he holds it in. Ds is distraught and apologizes to my cousins and my SIL. My BIL and FIL pull dh aside and BIL again stresses not to worry about it, etc. As we are leaving Dh asks his brother to tell him how much he wants for the TV. BIL laughs and says to not worry about it. Dh drives the 40 minutes home silent and refusing to talk to ds. Dh believes there must be a consequence for this. I do too, but our problem is WHAT? BIL truly doesn't seem to care, SIL reassured us to not worry about it, so did my nephew who uses it the most (he's 14). What should we do? Ds is very sensitive, and he's a good kid. It is visible that this is a burden on his heart. The Mama Bear in me feels so badly for him, but we want him to learn from this. He's only 8, so we're not sure what to do.

It is a sad commentary on the state of Hollywood and those within that realm that they cannot come up with original movies, so they feel the need to remake movies that are already standing the test of time on their own. "If it ain't broke don't fix it!"

I am so very sorry. My sister lost 2 within 4 months, so I know how your heart hurts. Sending you much love. :grouphug:

:iagree:This is a great idea! I was also thinking of something that he can use with Hot Wheels cars, something like a garage with ramps. A wooden space ship? A log cabin/fort that comes with soldiers to act out a war? A pirate ship?

What a wonderful blessing! Congrats to your dh!!!

I'm sorry for your loss, Joanne. Praying for your friend and her family as they adjust to a new reality. :grouphug:

Thank you for this update! So glad he's doing well! Continuing to pray for him here.