:iagree: I was one of those people who seemed to learn quickly whereas my sister would continuously make the same mistakes. She finally "matured" and figured it out when almost everyone in her life completely backed off and let her figure it out. She was someone who needed to live it, feel it, and work it out on her own in her own time.
My youngest sister is 28, and for some reason, nothing is ever her fault. I don't know if she'll ever "get it". She's not in situations where she or others are in danger, but it's often extremely difficult to watch her make the same types of mistakes (job choices, boyfriends). Not all of it is her fault in some ways, however, as she has some friends who clearly enable her and suck up to her whims. The fact that she is enabled does not FORCE her to be accountable to the level that she could be. This is hindering her growth.
I think enabling is a big factor for some people in being able own their choices. If one does not have 100% of the consequence be theirs, then it's more difficult for them to truly learn, grasp, and choose to change.
Choosing to change is its own evil, for some can't even see that they have the choice. Denial is a very powerful thing, and for many, it absolves them of ownership. For some people, they may not even know they are in denial of their situation/actions/etc so there isn't a base from which they can learn.
In many ways it can be a viscious cycle.