You should not have to tell an 11-14 year old that a closed door means stay out. However, the reality is, you do have to say it. And even saying it no longer means that they will obey the rules of the house.

I did 2 out of 3 on the list. I hope my children make better choices than I did but if they don't we will get through it.

My kids are on a swim team which keeps them busy most evenings. They also take a ballroom dance class once a week. The 14 year old volunteers at a local animal shelter an hour or two a week. He also volunteers at the library during the summer a few hours a week. At our library you are able to start volunteering the summer prior to entering 8th grade. Are there any elderly neighbors he can help with odd jobs. My ds used to mow the lawn for a neighbor.

I don't care for chicken that has been reheated in the microwave. I use the oven or the stove.

Thank you. The drag down shriek and scream of last night is not my norm. I usually try to have reasonable discussions about expectations and meeting them and then following through on consequences. That, however, was not working. This is so true and I usually follow this but I see after last night that I have been a bit to forgiving in the past few months in my understanding of where he is coming from. Thanks for the reminder that you do reap what you sow. If nothing else, he is being productive today. School work has been done without complaint. He is not enjoying the "you broke the trust, you have to live with the results" rules but at least he is not complaining.

Besides the things you already mentioned I like to keep cooked meatballs in the freezer. Sometimes I will put together a lasagna or two and freeze them prior to baking.

I did not realize there was a 2007 reboot. That came out during the we only see animated/disney film years. Dh and I looked it up. There were no pods in it so people who have only seen the 2007 version would not get the reference

The first time they did very well and as I expected. This last time they did okay and I expected them to do better.

I am glad I opened this thread. I am trying to take some of this advice to heart. This weekend I caught my teen lying to me. Not once, but twice. I think I could have handled my response to it a wee bit better. I have taken his ipod (which is what he was lying about) and cell phone and told him he won't be spending the night at his friends house next weekend. Where I fell down is in the incredibly harpish/shrieking/long winded lecture I gave him. After reducing him to tears and screaming at him that I don't need this grief and he can just go to school next year. And screaming at how he broke the trust between us. And screaming at him that I am appalled I raised a liar. And screaming that I am angry that he has so little respect for me that he would lie to my face multiple times. And screaming a few other things I am not proud of saying I left him in his room. Last nights episode was the culmination of my frustration with his attitude of late. An attitude that has been downright unpleasant lately.

Personally, I wouldn't get one. I don't care for permanant body alteration. I don't think tattoos age particularly well and I don't want a needle injecting ink under my skin over and over. As for what I think about them when I see them on someone else: Some tats are trashy looking. Some are interesting pieces of art. Some are meant to be hateful. Some are just plain stupid. I will make a snap judgement of who you are as a person based on your body art. It doesn't mean I won't get past it and find out who you really are but there will be an initial reaction. I don't think you should be surprised that you don't get a customer service job where you are visible to the public. Employers have an image they want to project. More often than not numerous tattoos are not that image. If you are going to get a tattoo then you need to be prepared for the realities of the reactions and prejudice you may be on the receiving end of. Don't be surprised and offended when it happens. It will happen. A tattoo is a personal choice. You may want to battle the establishment. More power to you but don't be miffed when the masses do not embrace your choice.

If you want the girls to maintain a friendship then you have to be really firm with your boundries. I would only allow the friend over my house. No sleepovers. No mom allowed to hang out either. If it was me, I would explain to dd that mom is a nutcase and you are sorry but the friendship can not continue.

I couldn't tell you when it stopped being nightly. Probably around age 5 but they still crawl in on the rare occasion and they are a teen and a tween. We did it until they chose to be on the their own.

I have been lossening the reigns with my 14 year old. He does have a laptop in his room but can only use it wtih the door open. I can see his screen. The ipod has been a bigger issue. I have been trying to loosen up during waking hours but during the week on a school night I get all ipods and phones at bedtime.

I think this thread is spongeworthy.

I can tell you that my teen/tween do not want to attend any all age events. They do not want to be with all those little kids. They get miffed when we attend an event for teen and up and there are a bunch of little kid siblings tagging along. If it is a class or a field trip they feel like the siblings are a distraction. If it is a park day they don't want the little kids taking over their games. They don't want to have to always be careful or age appropriate. They just want to be themselves and feel they can't. Unless one of their best buds is also attending the event we don't go because I don't want to deal with the attitude that will come if they are the only tween/teens in attendance.

We can hang because I got the reference. As a matter of fact I regularly use ask where is the pod that has my real aunt/cousin/friend. 2. If yes, do you think it is a culturally important reference (ie. pretty widely known/common knowledge) or not? No, I don't feel it is culturally important but I do sometimes feel old. 3. What country do you live in? USA 4. How old are you? 45 5. And just for fun 1956, 1978, 1993, or 2007? :D I have seen both 1956 and 1978 but the 1978 version would be my first experience.

That is a fascinating story but I am all squigged out now. I am not sure if I would rather have the rats.

He is usually on the computer working and I am either reading or catching up on tv. We are in the same room so we do have some conversation.

Where and when did you go? 1977, The Metropolitan Museum of Art What was the highlight of the trip? My mother let me skip school to take me to the exhibit. I remember the gold mask of Tut. What was the lowpoint of the trip? It was crowded. Did you get any souvenirs? No. How did you prepare for the trip? Don't remember. It was a long time ago. If I was going today I would probably do a small unit on King Tut.

I will tell you my oldest echoed your oldest after his first competitive swim team practice. He was 12 at the time. After about a month of practice he felt a lot more caught up to the others and better about his performance. It is a culture shock but they can rise to the challenge.

Sweet! I once helped with a fawn. Little cutie licked my nose raw with his sandpaper tongue.

I understand the hook obsession. Getting into a choice and even some not so choice colleges/university with scholarship money becomes more and more difficult with each passing year. I won't lie and say I have not pushed my 14 year old into a couple of volunteer opportunities because they will one day look good on his college application. If I didn't push him he certainly would be content to sit on his computer/ipod/in front of the tv during his down time. I have 2 motivations. 1. It will look good when he says he volunteered at the library and the animal shelter during his teen years. 2. He is doing something worthwhile with some of his free time. As another poster mentioned swim team and the volunteering give him anchors. Something that grounds him and helps him realize he is part of the greater universe and not the center (and this is important since I am the center ;-) ) I think anchors are important. To me it is not about sticking with the anchor. If he wants to dabble in something else I will support him. How do we know if will like something if we never get the chance to try because we are stubbornly clinging to an old anchor that does not fit anymore in the pursuit of getting into college. I want my kids to be well rounded individuals. If that means we skip the Ivy Leagues, so be it.

I voted egalitarian but my kids seem to think we are matriarchal in our family dynamic. From their eyes it probably does appear that way.

I have a tote. It was a gift from my MIL. It is well made and I do enjoy using it. No idea about coupons, though.

I've always bought my kids rash guards from Land's End. They were not snug fitting at all.