I’m allergic so it’s annoying on that front. I also have two sons who are autistic and they were terrified of dogs. Dogs in unexpected places? That kind of stuff messed with our whole day sometimes when they were little. We worked really hard to desensitize them so that they wouldn’t distract service dogs or flip out when spotting a dog. I think that some people have little regard for others.

I notice it but I think that’s because it’s so uncommon to see an unreturned cart. It’s just not something I see much here, which I think is mostly because of the parking lots not being flat. I don’t associate it with the value of the person. It’s just an anomaly so I notice it. Then again, people around here sit at traffic lights at 3AM when there aren’t any other cars out. I personally think this makes us excessive rule followers, not good people.

So is this what explains Orlando, FL? I always had to move carts back to the store to be able to park my car. The cart returns were always empty. Where I live, parking lots are quite often not really flat. They are flattish but most have enough of an incline that if you people didn’t return their carts, they would roll away and damage parked cars.

The dearth of camp and activity options for autistic tweens is something I definitely understand. At that age, my oldest couldn’t handle basically any drop off programs. And the programs from neurodiverse kids specifically tend to cost an arm and a leg and a kidney. What interests him outside of games? I would lean into whatever that was. I would also try and get someone for at least part of the time who can drive him and go out and do stuff. Last year, we went ahead and had our younger son try two week long day camps and one overnight camp. It worked out, but the camps were selected for *very high interest to him* and we spent a lot of time helping him practice skills he would need to make it work. And we gave him a back up plan and then a backup to the backup. He’s very into outdoorsy things- one camp was making a bow, one was horse camp and the overnight was a small group of middle school boys with two leaders on a canoe trip. This summer he’s basically doing the same things (wilderness survival instead of archery/bow making) plus a volunteer trip with the middle school youth group at our parish. He’s 13 this year.

I think most gun owners should be required to have a license and insurance. The license should require that they can demonstrate competency with gun safety and that don’t have any disqualifying factors. I would imagine setting that up would take more than 2 weeks at least for the first gun purchase. Honestly if we required insurance, the insurance companies would set up some pretty stringent standards.

I can’t speak for anyone else but I don’t watch YouTube or spend an appreciable amount of time on social media. I haven’t seen any ads about this. I’ve watched zero commentary videos on it. I’ve read a lot of pieces sympathetic to Amber. I’ve read fewer pieces critical of AH and #metoo. I’m skeptical of when people level charges of internalized (ism of choice) because someone else has an opinion that they aren’t “supposed” to have due to demographic characteristics. I see this happen a lot and the activists that engage it it need to realize that they aren’t helping win anyone over to their cause. It’s sanctimonious and at least sometimes imbued with classism- as though people without a set academic framework (usually obtained for $$$ tuition) for evaluating an issue just can’t possibly hope to understand it well enough to form an opinion.

My husband, sometime after 40, mentioned he was thinking about some sort of tattoo on his head. He’s one of those guys who went bald at 20. I told him he made both far too much and far too little money to be able to get away with tat on his head. There’s no middle income path for people with head/face tattoos. You either have a sketchy sporadic job of dubious legality or you are a rock star. Either that or he’d legit have to become a tattoo artist. They probably earn a decent living.

I think that this is probably it for her acting wise as far as Hollywood goes. I used to have the view, largely informed by feminist analysis of DV, that men were virtually always the responsible party and women were the victims. Certainly it is the case that women are more likely to be seriously physically injured or killed- and I don’t dispute that. But that more men are more violent in the aggregate doesn’t mitigate the impact that abusive women have on their partners and children. In the last couple of years I’ve reevaluated and re-examined my beliefs around this for a number of reasons. Part of that reexamination was that I have a female relative who was undeniably the primary abuser- and my mother lived a shortened life with physical and mental impairments due to her mother’s abuse. Part of it is that I realized the degree to which my perceptions were absolutely shaped by my own experiences with abusive males. Part of that is that I’ve observed a lot of instances recently where boys are held to a much different standard than girls for behavior that isn’t even remotely violent.

My husband reminded me we saw him in Dark Shadows at the same dollar theater I saw What’s Eating Gilbert Grape at. Yes, I’ve been going to the same dollar theater since 1990 only now it’s $6-9 and I’m not sure it’s worth it because it hasn’t been all that noticeably rehabbed and we can go to a nice theater with reclining seats for $7 on Tuesdays.

WIC has always included food for pregnant and postpartum women who were breastfeeding. It was expanded to cover postpartum women who weren’t breastfeeding within a few years of the programs initial passage. It now also covers 6 months for women after they have miscarried.

If breastfeeding goes well, formula feeding isn’t significantly less time (though the work of formula feeding can be split among caregivers in a way nursing can’t). If breastfeeding is challenging, formula feeding is vastly more efficient. Trying to breastfeed when your supply isn’t there is so incredibly time consuming that bottle feeding was a legit vacation by comparison. Americans can’t wonder why breastfeeding rates are low when women have minimal, if ANY, paid leave after birth and when staying out of the workforce for family caregiving is a financial decision that reverberates for literal decades and is quite possibly the largest reason so many elderly women fall into poverty. I was back at work three weeks after a c-section and NICU stay when my older son was born. Motivated to return to my career? No, I was motivated to eat and pay the rent. At the time I was working admin support at an non-profit whose mission it was to support parents of newborns, I sh!t you not. But I wasn’t eligible for even unpaid leave because I hadn’t been at my job for a year. Even if I had been eligible for my employers paid leave, I believe that it was 8 weeks. Because of our own savings and assets, I was able to stay home a year when my younger son was born. Spoiler alert: breastfeeding worked with him.

I keep trying to think of other movies I’ve seen with JD and usually when I come up with one, I realize that no, that was River Phoenix. Running on Empty, Sneakers, Thing Called Love…all of those aren’t actually JD movies. Should I be concerned that I remember movies from before 1995 better than movies I’ve seen in the last decade? Kinda a joke but then again with my dad declining from dementia, maybe not a joke. I think the most probable reason is that from 15-25, I was too busy with work and school to watch very many movies and from 25-now, most of the movies I watch are in conjunction with my kids. I can tell you way more than I ever wanted to know about Star Wars, Harry Potter etc. that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

I’m not a JD fangirl (nor have I read any fangirling comments here but I can’t claim to have read every single comment in detail so maybe I missed it.) I’ve never seen any of the Pirates movies. Honestly, I think the last things I saw him in were that Willy Wonka remake with my kids and before that? What’s Eating Gilbert Grape. I was in middle school when that came out. I have a distinct memory of watching that movie when my friend’s mom dropped us off at the dollar theater with $20, getting tickets to three movies back to back and making ourselves sick on bottomless popcorn refills. It’s possible I’ve seen him in other things but I’m not sure, such is the low level of interest I have in him as an actor. I think it’s clear that there was abuse and substance abuse by both. I’m ambivalent overall - JD wrote and did things he had no business writing or doing. I also find the power dynamics sketchy when there’s that kind of age and fame gap. AH has clearly lied and painted a very one sided picture. There’s also an obvious media circus here and publicists on both sides are earning massive sums to spin the narrative and shape public opinion. I’ve testified against my own brother in DV cases- I’m just not someone who makes excuses for or minimizes DV. I’ve have also come to think it infantilizes women to claim that they are always the target and never the primary aggressor in any DV situations. DARVO- deny abuse, reverse victim and offender is something I have observed up close in my family and community when the primary aggressor was male and when aggressor was female. The thing about AH plucking stories from other people’s lives, for instance the rape details of her assistant, is a sign that someone has a very fast and loose relationship with the truth. I have had someone do this to me- just borrow details and things that I experienced that they didn’t and weave them into their own narrative. It’s very challenging to communicate with such people that no, you know that they confabulated that story because they got it from you. The person who did it to me got angry and manipulative when I refuted them. It seems quite likely that AH has def confabulated and borrowed experiences of others to weave a narrative for herself. I don’t think that’s something you have to do when you are speaking the truth and telling your own story.

Provided we don’t lose our health or employability first, I am guessing that my husband and I will both work until our late 60s.

I don’t know what they use to preserve tortillas but unopened packages never seem to go bad. I recently found a bag from last summer that was in the back of our cabinet and they were just fine.

If they haven't sold it yet, it's probably not sellable. Or they long ago sold it. There was a land owner here who owned MANY houses in one area that had all decayed to the point squatters didn't want to live there, after years and years of him renting them out by the room. The man couldn't be prevailed on to fix the properties, pay his taxes or sell his properties (which are all located in prime locations, where a small lot can easily fetch $500k or more now.) It took forever but eventually the city essentially seized the houses one by one to pay off the man's taxes and legal judgements. I never understood why he didn't just sell them.

Depends on the state and the value of the property. It generally takes a while but eventually, the state can sell the property at auction to get the tax money. If she doesn't want the land, why can't she just sell it?

This was my son’s size for a long time. Thankfully he’s grown into being able to wear a 30 with a belt. Land’s End American Eagle sometimes works, though they have most 36 lengths for waists 30 and up.

My brother opted to settle on custody due to his ex moving school districts out of commute range and a weirdly biased GAL report that maximized his problems and seriously minimized his ex husband’s problems. So I feel for you on having to settle due to a GAL report. I’m glad you can exhale and move forwards. I hope counseling with your son is productive.

I am glad you are safe. I am glad you stood up to him despite it being a case where no good deed goes unpunished.

I don’t know much about or care about Reddit stories. I do know a lot and care a lot about what is going on with my friends and family members in the under 25 age bracket. Some of the things I hear are encouraging. For example, focus on consent and being able to discuss sex. Some are profoundly discouraging- the extent to which porn influences a lot of how young people see sex, the pressure to exchange nude pictures casually, the substitution of sexual acts for just getting to know someone. While fewer teens are having sex, it’s my impression that for many of those who are, it’s become very casual. Perhaps the most troubling thing that has come up with my niece and her friends is that despite increased awareness about consent, it’s pretty common for people with limits about what they will do to be told that refusing is being judgmental or “kinkshaming.” I know more than one girl in the older teen to mid 20s age bracket who has been browbeat for not being ok with some fairly rough sex. My son got labelled a prude for not thinking it was wise for his friend to swap nudes with a kid at school. He ultimately lost that friend over it. And his reaction wasn’t judgmental- it was simply not agreeing that it was wise or safe. Predictably enough, the friend ended up finding that the person she sent the pics to spread them around and that’s a whole drama. I do feel badly for her. Unfortunately, the situation isn’t that rare.

From what I have seen if one parent requests that all communication must be through an app (such as Talking Parents or Our Family Wizard), the judge will usually agree to make that part of the final orders. My brother’s ex husband is not allowed to contact him outside of Talking Parents unless it’s an emergency.

The LL Bean bags are nice. The Land’s End packs took a quality nosedive at some point. I ordered them for my niece and son and they were so thin and cheap, I returned them and got them different packs.

North Face. Pricey, but they last forever and look nice.

I would be beyond furious. It’s not ok to have have people unknowingly consume intoxicating substances.