I'm sorry he is going through this. I would suggest that he look for an attorney. In many US states, the default is 50-50 unless the parents agree to a different arrangement or 1 parent can show that the other is unfit in some way. And honestly, at least in my state, the bar for what is unfit is so high that's pretty hard to get a court to give one parent the bulk of the time and the other minimal time. This is actually why a lot of DV survivors stay- they don't want their spouse to have unsupervised access to the kids. There's also solid case law in the US that parents have the right to make their own childcare arrangements on their own time so the fact that he works more shouldn't be used against him should he wish to get 50-50.

That is the law here as well. I could legally be a man or neither a woman or a man in my state as soon as I could get an appointment at the DMV. I’m not vaguely right leaning and I have multiple trans family members and friends who I have and continue to provide meaningful support for (most of whom have similar concerns about self id etc). I definitely don’t come at this issue with a sense of hatred or fear of transgender people. This is an issue where I feel the left has lost the plot. Doesn’t make me less lefty/liberal. If trans is everything, it becomes nothing and certain things that those who do have serious gender dysphoria need *will be* in jeopardy, in addition to the clear issues for women’s spaces and athletics.

Have you ever been to a Korean spa? This wasn’t a locker room situation IIRC. You sit in the soaking pool and the sauna areas in the nude. Most don’t actually allow clothing in those areas, and it’s a social thing that would be lost if every space was single occupancy. That is why they are traditionally sex segregated. I go to one near me (not often, it’s an expensive treat) and it’s a woman’s only facility. My friends and I affectionally call it the naked lady spa. As I guessed, it turns out this seems to have been male abusing the concept of self id. He does now id as a woman but I don’t think I am alone in my skepticism that this is an authentic experience of gender dysphoria rather than a “if their mouths are moving, sex offenders are probably lying” thing. I think it would be good for people to be able to discuss the ramifications of self id without being called bigots. Self id has negative implications for both biologically female persons and transgender people.

Yes, it switched for my FIL at some point. My husband had been his golden child and my BIL the scapegoat. At some point my FIL became extremely upset with my husband once my husband moved away and made it clear he was going to live his own life his own way. My husband became the scapegoat as a young adult after having been the golden child before college. I remember my FIL saying that he was jealous of my BIL (who was the first born) and how much attention he got from my MIL when he was born so when my husband was born, my FIL decided that my husband was "his child". It stuck with me because it was like he was retaliating against the older child and his wife by taking ownership of the younger son. My husband threw down the battle lines when he was about 18 or 19 and barely spoke to his dad between ages 21 and 26. During that time, my BIL became close to my FIL and basically filled the space that my husband had vacated. I think my BILs motivations were that he was, naturally enough, desperate for his father's love after two decades of nastiness + he wasn't financially independent of his dad and was willing to go along to get financial help.

On the nightstand? My CPAP machine Hand lotion and chapstick Sunrise alarm clock Waterbottle There's a lamp hanging above it (mounted on the wall) There's a shelf down below for current books and magazines There's also a drawer with, um, in board parlance, teA aids.

I know it can be hard to hire people right now but honestly, it really sounds like this manager is anything but professional and competent. Dude needs to be gone.

10PM? Sure. Whatever. 1:30AM? WTAF? Freshmen are like 14 years old. What is the coach smoking that makes her think this is a reasonable plan?

This was a good long form article my son sent me. It talks about the divide between rural and urban Afghans and a bunch of other things. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/history/article/as-the-taliban-rise-again-afghanistans-past-threatens-its-present I think it's a mistake to assume that the Taliban enjoys widespread support in Afghanistan. They enjoy widespread fear + the corruption in the government created the same type of chaos and mistrust that allowed the Taliban to seize control the first time in 1996.

The AP and NPR are reporting that all embassy staff were evacuated to the airport. https://www.npr.org/2021/08/16/1028027315/u-s-embassy-staff-in-afghanistan-are-evacuated-to-kabuls-airport

I woke up to an interview with a woman describing how Taliban forces gathered all of the women working at a bank and told them to go home and that a male relative could be sent to take their places.

The sense I am getting is that some Afghan officials were counting on Biden to reverse the deal Trump made. I don’t think they really thought we were going to leave and they were wholly unprepared to keep going when we did. A lot of the money that we have spent over the last 2 decades has been mishandled and misspent by contractors who promised more than they could possibly hope to actually deliver. Forces that fled to Kabul very recently are now going to face reprisals- as of today, the Taliban have Kabul too. “When the Kunduz province fell to the Taliban, so many soldiers were killed. We were surrounded,” said Abdul Qudus, a 29-year-old soldier who managed to make his way to Kabul in the past week. “There was no air support. In the last minutes, our commander told us that they cannot do anything for us and it’s just better to run away. Everyone left the war and escaped.” https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.wsj.com/amp/articles/afghanistan-army-collapse-taliban-11628958253

I strongly dislike all the melons except watermelon.

Same to this also except I wouldn't even try the 100 year egg. I am ok with cooked celery in soup, stuffing and pot pie or raw celery diced up in certain salads but I can't deal with celery sticks or whatever. Beets, most forms of eggplant and okra are on my blech list. I would like to like beets and more eggplant but I don't.

Same.

For some, it’s not going to compute unless they receive an explicit direction as to what it means and what pronoun to use. To someone who is unfamiliar with non-binary, they could have literally no idea what you said and may not ask either because they don’t want to pry or they don’t want to admit that they don’t know something. Though in a teen centered business like a driving school you would expect they would probably have more than one student who is non-binary.

I think that unless you tell someone directly that your child is non-binary and uses they/them pronouns, most people are going to default to whatever they know the child's biology to be or, in cases where they don't know, they are going to default to male (perhaps because of the name, perhaps because male is the default assumption for a lot of things in our culture, perhaps because some people use male for the generic gender neutral). It's not a change that the vast majority of people are going to presume/assume just from hearing you use gender neutral terms, especially if the person is an adult and doesn't live in an area where non-binary is a pretty common identity.

An easier to pronounce gender neutral term for niece/nephew is "sibkid". That said, I have decided that I'm not using contrived family terms and since this doesn't bother the four kids in my family who it presently affects, I don't have to wrestle with words like niblet (no, just no) or nibling (eh, better but not great). I have no issue with they/them. It doesn't hit me as unfamiliar either, probably because of where I live and that it's been in use most of my adult life around here.

I wonder about the role of age and hormones. As my mother got older, she was entirely unable to go back to sleep if she woke up or to sleep in past about 4:30 or 5 in the morning (regardless of when she went to sleep usually). She was awake and usually reading. I used to have her call me in the morning if I needed to wake up early for something because she was always awake at that hour. I never saw her drowsy in the morning until the last few weeks of her life when she was on a lot of pain meds for her cancer.

My husband sleeps till the last possible second on work days and then dashes. His commute 4/5 days is crossing the hallway to his computer so he doesn't need much time. That said, he is also the sort of person who sleep talks, can sleep with his eyes open and when there's no imperative to get up, he will sleep/lounge pretty much indefinitely. My husband is extremely reliant on caffeine, which is a common thing for those with severe ADHD like him.

I'm more or less functional when I wake up unless it's super early and I am just running to the bathroom. In those situations, I try NOT to turn on my brain too much if I can help it because I would usually like to go back to sleep after a super early run to the bathroom. While I am basically functional right after I rouse, I do use the early mornings for a few things (listening to podcasts, checking my daily plan, exercise) and I absolutely HATE being disrupted from that routine if I sleep late and thus have to dive into the shower and get out of the house right away. I vaguely remember rolling out of bed, getting dressed and dashing out the door in the space of 5 minutes when I was younger but now the house would have to be on fire for me to leave right after waking up. I am not a consistent AM caffeine drinker. My caffeine of choice was afternoon sodas but I have cut that out for health reasons, though I can't promise I will never fall off that wagon again.

I would want a second opinion and appointment with a genetic counselor.

School starts back September 2nd here. Which is waaay too early IMO (I am used to the Wednesday after Labor Day). I had to sign up for school picture day and sports today and I'm not really liking that summer will be over so soon. Masks are required by state order (our district would be doing it anyways though). Both of my sons are vaccinated and vaccination rates are pretty high here. Parents can opt out of Covid testing for students (but NOT for athletes- IIRC athletes must test regularly). The school is newer with good ventilation and air filters. There is an online only option but it's by district and not by school (basically, it's like registering for an online school in the district). Registration for the online only option hasn't been as high as expected. Registration is lower as private school and homeschooling have both added many new families in my area.

We got the 2pks at the drug store. They are the exact same tests that they use for entry to the assisted living facility where my husband's grandmother just moved to. She has a studio apartment there and visitors have to register/sign up in advance to visit and then test at the door.

Apprenticeship programs and trades licensure varies a lot by state. You should be able to call or research the website of the local plumbers and pipe fitters union in your area and get a good idea of the opportunities for trainees in your state.

We use so much curry powder that "20 year old bottle of curry powder" doesn't compute. I buy the restaurant sized containers and we use it up so quickly. I probably have an ancient bottle of marjoram or dill though.