There are no words and don't feel obligated to give them. Give her a hug, or just sit with her and let her grieve or vent or remember her son. She will probably want to talk about his last days over and over again. Just let her. Be there for her in her grief.

But see the difference is for me that the 5hr one is NOT the closest option. How would you feel if she chose the 12hr option if the other choices were nearly equal in other respects? This is really the heart of what I'm asking... not how people feel about 5hrs exactly.

The friends are from camp and live far away - none are local. Same with the other school too, though. These are church camp people - so the good thing is we know she'll have spiritual support at all three schools.

Okay, interesting perspective. So those who say "Wow, only 5hrs." If it was "Only 3hrs" wouldn't that be more appealing? Especially with her issues involved? 5Hrs. is much, much farther than any of our other kids, so maybe its family culture thing. She will not have access to a car, at least until she can get one on her own. She could take plane then train. There is no direct route via train/plane for any of the options. It would - of course - be a much longer day for her.

Somehow we've never really run into this with our 4 older ones. But, we're heading into having an issue with #5. Lets take money totally off the table as an issue. up front I'm going to add that DD has had issues with depression and self-injury. She is going to go to a smallish liberal arts school to study English along with getting an ed. certification. 1st choice - she has friends in the dept. she has been accepted to. They LOVE the school... it's a beautiful campus/school... they have lots of do-dads... but the main thing is that she has friends who have played it up. She and dh visited last week and she fell in love. She went to classes with friends and thought they were great. I reminded her before going that the school will be giving their "sales pitch" at their accepted students day. This school is 5hrs away. 2nd choice - she has friends at school but not in the dept. They love the school. We haven't visited it yet. But, it's pretty well known. It's also going to be quite similar to #1 IMHO. It's 2-2.5hrs away. 3rd choice - she knows one of the profs. We visited... she loved the school - said it looked like Hogwarts! LOL. It's a smaller school. We met the head of the English dept. and he was a flake and totally turned her off to the school. Didn't seem to know anything about how one would go about getting a degree/certificate in English Secondary Education. Sigh. We met with the admin. officer and she was VERY helpful in figuring out how she would work on becoming and English Teacher. If it hadn't been for her the school would have been off the table. This school is 3hrs away. We plan to go back for the Accepted Student's visitation day. In the past I have had to go fetch 2 of my 4 older kids for one illness or another (broken arm, bad case of poison ivy, suspected mono, etc. etc.), as well as the normal wanting to come home for a break from college life, long weekends too for all the kids. My dd knows that I don't like the idea of traveling 5hrs one way to pick her up... but I want her tell me if there's a problem - especially because of the depression and cutting. I personally feel like the drive is a deal-breaker.... But, of course, she keeps telling me how much she loved her 1st choice.

2 yrs ago we moved from a non-HOA neighborhood to an HOA. I hate it. I don't know what our old neighborhood would have done. It was much larger (100+ houses) and we did have some kind of community action group or some such. But we never paid dues or anything. Doesn't the county have some kind of right-of-way? I'm surprised you had to pay out of pocket for the road resurfacing. That was always done by the county in our old community. I would agree to find out who owns the property - it might very well be that the county has some kind of easement or right-of-way and you can petition them to cut the trees.

Me too.. I wanted to avoid surgery, so I went on a low-dose bcp. I can't say that it only had positive side effects. After 10yrs I'm really tired of being on the pill (lack of libido & being chained to my dr... especially) so I've gone off. I've only been off for 2.5 months so I can't say how bad my cycle is yet. I'm 50 so I feel like I shouldn't have that much more time before I'm done, done, done. But if it does there are a couple of other options I'm going to look at: Lysteda - has been recommended to me by a friend who had great success using it. Endometrial Ablation - I've heard of people who have had good success with this too.

so sorry :grouphug:

praying for your dd

I agree. Waxing is the way to go. It hurts like the dickens, but you get almost all of them at once rather than one at a time.

:grouphug:

Thank you for the update. praying :grouphug:

ah, okay- I was dx with orbital cellulitis when I had it. But the symptoms were quite similar to what the OP is describing.

I was also going to suggest this. I had it a couple of years ago. I also thought it was a stye at first, but then it got worse, not better. It took 2-3different antibiotics to finally get rid of it. It can be very serious (your brain is near there - you don't want the infection to spread!), so definitely have it looked at. Do you have someone who can recommend an eye doctor? If not, maybe call your OB for a referral. In the meantime keep hot-compresses going. Also, if you can get this: http://www.amazon.com/Ocusoft-Pre-Moistened-Original-Formula-30-Count/dp/B001G7PZVK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1395887226&sr=8-1&keywords=eye+cleaner to clean your eyelid with. As a result of my going in for cellulitis I was dx with blepharitis. She recommended these eyelid cleaners to keep me from having a recurrence of cellulitis.

my casual reading usually looks like this: but yeah, when I can actually stay awake, I'm usually reading more than one book at a time. I like the way you do it, maybe this would help me to stay awake.

I saw that and thought... "What a flake." Not that that should be surprising, coming from Hollywood elite... but many people seem to think Hollywoodites are sages. :rolleyes:

Yes, and then after that they call their legislature to make more laws. Every winter my dh wonders how much longer until they enact a law forcing children to wear helmets to go snow sledding.

This is refreshing. I only read the first one and just didn't like it. I enjoy dystopian but for many reasons stated here (esp. the unclear writing and back story), I just didn't like Divergent and gave up. It seemed like it was written by a very young writer. I have no plans to read anymore or to see the movie.

oh wow... praying.

so sorry. That does stink. :grouphug:

There are some members who take a break from the boards during Lent. Perhaps she's one of them.

"To Say Nothing of the Dog" by Connie Willis was a lot of fun. It says it's #2 in a series, but I didn't know that when I read it and it wasn't a problem. "The Eyre Affair" by Jasper Fforde. Such a fun and entertaining book - every bibliophile should read this book! It's not really time travel.. it's traveling inside books! It's also alternative history (We're still fighting the Crimean war). There's a whole series but this is the first one.

Does that mean we are the end of the internet?

The hospital's social workers should be able to help you begin this process.. and they may even help you find the appropriate facility. It may even be she can have at-home nurse/assistant. It just depends on the hospital and where you live. In our area, I've found that usually the sw are quite helpful. Hugs to you...it's very hard to get adults like your sister to recognize the help they truly need.