This sounds like a lot of the interactions I have had with my husband over the years. But I'm a grown-up who knows how to say, "I just need you to listen. I just need support. Stop trying to fix things." And dh has become pretty good at saying, "Do you want my help or do you want me to just listen." I think this is a really common interaction. It sounds like your daughter needs some coaching on how to verbally express that she just wants support and a listening ear. And everybody else probably just needs to just give her sympathy and some positive encouragement, because it sounds like she mostly wants to figure things out by herself. There's nothing wrong with that, though I'm sure it's frustrating in a situation like driving instruction where she genuinely has to be willing to accept instruction. Personally, I would pay for extra behind-the-wheel training with a professional if she's having trouble accepting correction from mom and dad. That would be money well spent.

I wouldn't correct the personal writing of a 2nd grader. I also don't correct journal entries (even if the journal writing is an assignment). I do correct spelling errors in regular writing assignments, but we do that at the very end before they write out their final draft. So first I spend a lot of time talking about the ideas in their writing and gently guiding them to revise the ideas. After any revisions are done, I let them check for spelling errors with a dictionary. I only go through to check for spelling errors at the very end to catch any misspelled words they might have missed. I don't start having my kids do single draft writing (written narration, outline, essay answer) until 4th or 5th grade. At that point, I will correct any spelling errors. My highly-verbal, highly-visual learner wrote prolifically when she was little, and she did adopt a few weird misspellings from reading things wrong in her own writing. For the longest time she always wrote "-eng" at the ends of words instead of "-ing". For example: "walkeng" instead of "walking". Drove me bonkers! She figured it out eventually through a combination of spelling instruction and seeing the correct spellings repeatedly when she read. She's now a teenager and a very talented writer, so I'm glad I didn't do anything to discourage her when she was little and excited about writing.

There isn't much I would change. I was very gentle and focused on the 3 R's. We spent a lot of time doing traditional early childhood projects (apple picking, pumpkin patch, making butter, growing seeds, raising butterflies, strawberry picking, etc), and we spent a lot of time going to the park, the children's museum, the zoo, etc. We did start history and science in 1st grade, but it was always cuddled up on the couch reading (no workbooks or written narrations!). We did have structure and routine from the beginning, and I think that was helpful when we transitioned to doing more formal schoolwork in 4th grade. My one big change with my younger children has been holding off on languages. My oldest was a bright, little thing, and she was excited about learning languages so I tried to jump right in with both Spanish and French in 1st grade. It was way too much. We wound up pulling back to just French and then starting over in 4th grade with a different program anyway. I don't know why I was in such a hurry. There was plenty of time for her to learn both French and Latin (plus win spelling bee trophies and writing contests, etc). Yes, she was strong in languages, but she didn't need to do it all in 1st grade. There is so much time, and she got much more out of a day at the pumpkin patch than she did out of any Spanish computer program. My baby will be a 1st grader this fall, and he will be focused on reading, writing, math, and lots of age-appropriate trips to the park, the local farm, the children's museum, etc. I will be reading some history and science aloud (along with lots of picture books), but there will be no foreign languages, no grammar, no pushing. There is plenty of time for him to cover that stuff later.

My kids could never do audio books. They needed pictures to look at. We have done 2 year loops of world history followed by 2 year loops of American history (because my kids are all spaced exactly 2 years apart - everyone could start at the beginning of a loop). We used Usborne Book of World History and The Smithsonian Children's Encyclopedia of American History as our spines, because there were lots and lots of pictures. Then I added in addition history picture books on topics of interest and read-alouds (many with illustrations). My kids just couldn't comprehend without the visual. We didn't do any workbooks, but they narrated the history orally and kept timelines.

We have the third edition from 2005 with the long wooden pier on the cover. We bought the older edition on Amazon, because it was much less expensive. They don't change much between editions except the cover. You can find the 3rd, 4th, and 5th editions on Amazon. Just be sure you buy the same edition of the Student Solution Manual.

My average kid really loved Lial's Pre-Algebra. The pages are very clean, and the instruction is straight-forward. And the relative ease and repetitiveness of the problem sets also built up his confidence after years of Singapore CWP.

Both of mine did biology in 6th and physical science in 7th, so I let them choose something fun for 8th. Older dd did oceanography & marine biology. Younger ds is going to do a forensic science class for this coming fall.

Our homeschooling hasn't really changed at all. There have been a few minor changes in curriculum or books. And we have added in more classical elements and more structure over the years as my kids have gotten older. But our underlying philosophy - which was heavily influenced by the book For the Children's Sake - hasn't changed at all. I am much more relaxed. With my older kids, I was very concerned about them being ahead academically and connected socially. After 10 years of this, I know that I didn't need to be so worried. Our approach has worked well. Now my oldest dd has chosen to attend public high school. Maybe some would say that's a radical change, but it doesn't feel like it. Our approach to education and our attitude about learning are still firmly grounded in those CM ideals, and I can see the long-term impact in her attitude and approach to school.

I would want to dig a little deeper into his motivation for wanting to return to homeschooling when he is outwardly achieving. Could there be problems at the school that mom is unaware of? Bullying? A toxic level of competitiveness? Academics isn't everything. Does he have a strong group of friends? Does he feel like he fits in with his school peers? The fact that mom describes him as a "homebody" who tends to "shy away from people" also makes me worry that the request could be rooted in anxiety or in a tendency to stay in his social comfort zone (curled up with a book at home) versus pushing himself into situations that stretch him. Some kids like that need additional support and encouragement to spread their wings - especially in social situations. Letting him come back home for academic reasons could be a negative if he's really using homeschooling to avoid socializing with peers. I think it speaks volumes that mom has observed positive changes in him from being in school. What's mom's gut feeling about the situation and his motivation? And - more importantly - does mom want to homeschool high school? You can replicate those same extra-curricular and leadership opportunities at home, but it takes a whole lot of work (& driving) on mom's part to make it happen. Does she have any desire to take that on when her son is currently in a good situation where he's thriving?

My oldest dd was very similar. She was a very strong reader and writer who hated science. I encouraged her to choose something that interested her for 8th grade, and she asked for marine biology. I wanted it to be as fun as possible so we passed on the high school texts (most of which seemed to require biology as a prerequisite), and I designed my own course instead. We used the Great Courses Oceanography lectures as the spine; she watched one lecture per week over the course of the year. Then we added in several books; DK Smithsonian Ocean: a visual encyclopedia and Smithsonian Ocean: Our Water, Our World were the ones that she really loved. The first is a children's book at a high-elementary/low-middle school level, and the second is an adult book with gorgeous photography and text. I also got her The Marine Biology Coloring by Thomas Nielsen, and she spent hours with that book and a huge pack of nice colored pencils. She also watched a ton of documentaries; she really like The Blue Planet Series. And she wrote a big research paper on orca whales. For what it's worth, she really enjoyed the year. She is still a language/writing girl headed in a language/writing direction, but I'm so glad we took the time off to do something fun in 8th grade instead of trying to push ahead into high school level textbooks.

Sequential Spelling was what finally made a difference with my ds (phonetically taught & a voracious reader - but completely incapable of spelling anything correctly). The continuous repetition of similar patterns was the only thing that finally helped it to stick in his brain.

My understanding is that most boys (teens or young adults) who turn to mass violence have a history of loneliness, isolation, and alienation from peers and mainstream society - often with mental health issues thrown in. Kids who don't have a support system. Kids who don't fit in. Kids who don't have strong social skills. Think of Adam Lanza's or Nikolas Cruz's backstories. So, though it may not seem fair to us as homeschoolers, I think it's natural for many people to wonder whether homeschooling played a role in the crime. Since, by definition, homeschoolers are choosing an educational alternative that takes them out of the mainstream education system. And, by simple arithmetic, a homeschooled child likely has a smaller number of peers he sees on a regular basis and spends fewer hours per week around those peers. So your average Joe reporter is going to think, "Hey, we know isolation and lack of social support is a common characteristic among these killers. Was this homeschooled kid isolated? Did this homeschooled kid lack social support?" And I don't think those are unfair questions to ask about a specific homeschooled individual when that homeschooled individual commits a crime of this nature. I do think it's unfair to generalize that all homeschoolers are isolated or lacking in social support. And I also think it's unfair to imply that homeschoolers are at a greater risk of committing mass murder since there is no research or data (that I am aware of) showing that homeschoolers commit any crimes at a higher rate than traditionally schooled kids. And I agree that this particular article is illogical and a little all over the place. But I did not think the article was attacking homeschooling; I thought it was pretty balanced. And I think we (as a society) should be able to ask questions about this man's background and educational experiences and social supports the same as we do with Lanza or Cruz or any other killer. Asking questions is good. It is not a personal attack on us as homeschoolers, and I don't think we should act like it is.

We fall on the other side of this issue. I felt very strongly that my children needed to spend their free time doing the things that they were interested in - the things that they loved. I wanted to support them in pursuing their interests. And as homeschoolers, I felt it was more important for them to have the balance that came with having friends and mentors and experiences outside of our family. So I have allowed my children to choose their own extracurricular activities. I do not choose for them, and I can't fathom just unilaterally deciding that there would be nothing outside of academics and our family. This does not mean that we let a child become sucked into a life-consuming extra-curricular or that we let the whole household revolve around one child or that we go into debt to pay for activities. It is all about balance. We have chosen to play sports only seasonally rather than year-round. We have chosen local rec baseball over the more intense travel baseball. We have declined opportunities for additional music competitions when the the prep was causing the kids stress. We chose a ballet school that didn't do competitions or push girls to do too much too soon. And we talked and talked about these decisions, because I feel that my teens should have a big say in these little choices. But even when my kids have later chosen to drop an activity, I have had zero regrets. They have gained so much and grown so much from their experiences.

We love Latin Alive. The dvd instructional videos are very well done, and it prepares students very well for NLE. But it's an intense program and moves quickly. A 6th grader with very strong language skills could be successful if they are willing to put in the time (at least an hour daily), but most students would do better to wait until 7th or 8th.

We've used K12 American Odyssey for 8th grade. It's considered a high school level book, but geared more toward 9th grade so it's very accessible for academically strong middle schoolers. It's secular with straight-forward text, lots of photographs, and plenty of primary sources throughout. Another alternative, if you are wanting more of a fun overview, might the the Smithsonian Children's Encyclopedia of American History. It's secular with tons of pictures and photos. You won't get much depth or analysis, but it will give you a good overview of the sweep of American history. And you would have time for rabbit-trails into areas of interest.

Does she feel stretched? Is she stressed out by juggling so many things? If she's feeling stressed, then it might be best to gently encourage her to drop 1 or 2 things. If she isn't willing to drop anything, then there may be a way to lower her level of involvement or her time commitment so that she isn't so stretched. If she's happy and thriving, then I wouldn't say or do anything. Now is the time to explore lots of interests. Maybe she will find a single passion at some point, but she may just be happy doing lots of different things. I know being "pointy" is the trendy thing right now (versus the "well-rounded" of the past), but not all kids are pointy. Some kids are well-rounded, and well-rounded can be awesome. My oldest daughter is like this. She's naturally a well-rounded kid with lots of interests. But she did reach a point around 7th or 8th grade where she was stretched so thin by all her activities that she was beginning to experience high levels of stress. She did need encouragement to step back a little bit. She wound up deciding to drop one activity entirely (spelling bee) and to lower her involvement in a second activity (moving from intense pre-professional ballet to recreational). She was still busy and well-rounded, but those 2 changes made such a difference in her stress levels. I continue to keep an eye on her level of over-involvement to make sure she's getting some downtime, but I don't think she will ever be a pointy kid.

We have state-mandated ACT testing in winter of Junior year for all public school students. If students have already taken the ACT and received scores above a certain point, then they can opt out of the test. The required scores to opt out in our district are E-18, M-22, R-22, S-23, Wrtg - 7. You must meet that minimum in every section. And it's the student's responsibility to submit their previous ACT scores to the school along with the request to opt out. If you don't get your paperwork in, then you'll be taking the ACT again. In practice, a lot of public school students just plan for the required ACT test in winter of Junior year to be their first test sitting, because it's free and given during the school day. And a Feb test date still leaves them plenty of time to retake the ACT later in the spring or in the fall if they need to raise their score.

Music lessons are easily our biggest expense, but we would pay for those even if our kids weren't homeschooled. Foreign language has been our most expensive homeschooling subject, because we have needed to pay for online classes and tutors at the upper levels. Generally speaking, high school-level courses have been more expensive than elementary or middle school level courses. But we have spent a lot on books at every level. We have a huge library at this point.

For ds: Math: Singapore 1B & CWP1 (maybe starting 2A if he gets that far) Phonics/Reading: Finishing up Reading Reflex & continuing to move through early readers Writing: HWT 1, journal, & maybe a few writing projects Literature: Mixture of fun read-alouds & read-alouds to go along with world history (still working on this list) History: World history with real books (still working on this list) Science: Biology with real books (still working on this list) Art: Artistic Pursuits 1 Extra: baseball & swimming

Our state requires yearly standardizing testing starting in 1st grade. You don't have to get a minimum score. You don't have to show the scores to anyone. You choose the test from a long list of approved tests. You choose the tester. You even choose which grade level of test to give. If you have a college degree, you can even give the test yourself in your own home. When I was starting out as a homeschooler, I thought it was silly hoop jumping. But over the years, I've seen those tests be a wake-up call for well-intentioned parents who just needed a little more information to guide their choices. I've seen many, many unschoolers and relaxed schoolers and "we meant to do more math but we got busy"-schoolers who realized things weren't going well when they got those test scores back. I've seen families make big changes to how they homeschool or adjust their curriculum (no, your first grader probably can't self-teach math) or even decide that they ought to put the kids back in school. I've heard unschoolers debating whether it's really reasonable to expect a 3rd grader to be able to do x skill or y skill after seeing the problems on their annual standardized test. Even if they didn't believe in standardized testing, it gave them a look at what is typically expected of kids their child's age. I do think it makes a difference. It won't catch the really extreme situations, but it is a huge help for the parents who want to do well and just need a little more information to get them on that path. And it isn't a huge hassle or an unreasonable intrusion for those of us who are doing a good job.

I think it is educational neglect when a student is educated to a level that is both well below their ability and well below the accepted standard of their greater community. I live in an upper-middle class community in a high-regulation state. I have not seen families where teens can't read. I have seen a lot of families where the parents are educating their kids far below the community standard. I don't know the details of everyone's situation so those children may have challenges that I'm not aware of. And those families may be engaged in intensive interventions and therapies for those children that I'm not aware of. And many people in our community choose to homeschool to avoid the academic pressure of our local schools. I don't think it's educational neglect to only complete Alg II while superstars at the public high school complete 20+ AP classes. I do think it's educational neglect to fail to master Algebra I due to the parents not providing instruction. And I think it's social neglect when children have limited or no access to people or relationships outside their family. I have known homeschooled teens who were trying to self-teach Algebra I, because their mother (who attended an elite university) had simply stopped teaching them. It's pretty hard to self-teach Algebra when you aren't allowed to go to the library or access the internet. Our local public high school would at least attempt to provide that instruction for free - complete with access to sports and fine arts and a full Latin program. But these kids stay home. They feed the chickens and play in the woods. They can read the limited number of christian biographies in their home or try to self-teach math without a teacher or internet access. That might be enough for a 7-yr-old, but I don't think it's enough for a 17-yr-old. And I really don't know what to think when the parents attended public school themselves and have degrees from elite universities.That's not ignorance. That's a conscious choice to limit your child's educational and social opportunities. I do think situations like that are educational neglect.

I've known just one genuinely happy and successful blended family. They had multiple good things going for them: -Widow married a divorced man with a wonderful ex who was super-supportive (in other words - they did not have to deal with ex drama) -They did not have any kids together so they could focus completely on supporting their kids and blending their family -The kids from the first marriages all had similar interests & personalities (extroverted, popular, outdoorsy) -None of the children had serious problems or disabilities or other challenges -Dad made good money to support both his new wife & his ex in an upper-middle class lifestyle (both women stayed at home full-time and his children split time equally between his home & the ex's) -They never had any serious challenges to throw a wrench in life (no job loss, no sickness, no cancer, etc) Blended families are really hard. All families can have problems, but blended families are really, really hard. Having lived through it as a child, I don't think I could ever choose it for myself or my children.

Math: Singapore 4 & Beast Academy 4 Language Arts: Lots of read-alouds, daily writing time, & daily silent reading History: World history with real books (still working on a book list) Science: Biology with real books (still working on a book list) French: Skoldo French 2 Art: Artistic Pursuits Bk 3 Extra: Piano lessons, swimming, & cub scouts

Math: Singapore 5-6 History: K12 Human Odyssey 1 Literature: Ancient literature to go along with K12 HO (still working on a book list) Lang Arts: MCT Town, Killgallon, & daily writing Science: Earth science & astronomy (still working on a book list) French: Galore Park SYRWTL French (finishing bk 1 & starting bk 2) Art: Artistic Pursuits Extra: piano lessons & ballet

This may be my last year at home with ds12. He will likely be following his older sister to public high school. My plan: Math: Foerster Algebra History: K12 American Odyssey English: American literature (still putting together a list) along with some serious essay writing Latin: Latin Alive 2 Art: Artistic Pursuits - MS He still needs a science, but we haven't settled on that yet. He's already done a year of biology and a year of physical science, so I'm going to let him choose something fun - maybe marine biology or astronomy?? I'd like to get some Great Course lectures for whatever he's interested in so he can practice taking notes. We are also trying to find a good online class for him - some kind of fun elective that will give him some experience with outside accountability and meeting deadlines.