This. Hopefully the primary doctor was part of a hospital system, but even if he had an independent practice, those records still exist. They're probably still at the physical location of the practice or put into storage if the lease on the building is up. The new doctor will track them down.

A few years ago we had a local specialist who suddenly closed down his practice. He literally called in his staff one day, announced he was retiring, and told them not to come back on Monday. Then he moved 4000 miles away. It caused a scandal in the medical community, but I doubt any of the patients knew what was going on. No patients were notified. The records (pre-digital record-keeping) were boxed up and put into storage. The doctor didn't even have the decency to notify other doctors who had referred patients to him for surgery. My husband had multiple patients who had just had surgery with this doctor who were not notified (my husband wasn't told either), so my husband was notifying his own patients and getting them transferred to different surgeons for follow-up and tracking down their records. It was a huge mess. This doctor had a messy life (multiple divorces, sudden remarriages to women half his age, estrangements from his kids), but he was one of the best surgeons in his specialty and patients loved him. And he had never - to our knowledge - let the messy bleed over into his professional life before. So, yes, this kind of thing does happen - because doctors are people with problems and messy lives too - but it is pretty rare and very unprofessional. And I'm so sorry it's happening to you. Everything is going to be okay. If your stepfather has a new doctor, then he will get his referral to the oncologist. If he has signed the release for medical records, the new doctor will track them down for him. These are the situations where I'm so grateful for electronic record-keeping. I know it's a stressful thing to be dealing with on top of a serious medical situation, but making the switch to another primary doctor will probably be the best thing in the long run.

Pointe shoes cost about $80-120 per pair. A beginner might have a pair last for 6 months or more. A more advanced student will go through a pair per month. Dd's ballet school just did a student performance, and some of the girls went through a pair or two over the week with all the rehearsals and performances. There was one girl who did not dance up on pointe much in the performances - because she is younger and less advanced - but she has a really strong arch. She managed to kill a brand-new pair of shoes over the weekend - even trading it out with another pair. As in she wore the shoes for the first time on Friday, wore a different pair on Sat, and then wore the first pair again for the Sun matinee, and they were completely dead. It probably would have helped if she had 3 or 4 pairs that she was trading out so they could dry completely, but nobody expects that with a 13-yr-old who is only dancing about half the performance en pointe. And you want to be cautious about buying a bunch of shoes in one size if your daughter is still growing, because the only thing worse than wearing out a pair of shoes is outgrowing new shoes. Yes. For the arts, particularly music, absolutely yes. We don't do it for college admissions or scholarships - if that was the purpose then the money would be better off collecting interest in a bank account. We do it, because the arts enrich our lives. I wouldn't go into debt or spend money we don't have, but I would much rather spend disposable income on music lessons than on fancy vacations or nice cars. But I know we're fortunate to have the extra income to work with.

FYI: Double check dates with the high school, because many start the registration process very early. Our high school goes into the local middle schools to give presentations and pass out class registration info in January. Auditions for fine art electives are held the end of Feb, and freshman registration is held the last week of Feb and first week of Mar. Even fall sports have try-outs and practices in the summer. It would be so easy for a family to miss information or deadlines if they waited until the spring or summer to visit the school and register.

My current 7th grader spends about 30 min per day on just history. He reads history chapters, outlines chapters, and adds events to his timeline. I also assign him literature that dovetails with his history readings (currently reading Anne Frank while studying WWII), so that's probably another 30 min per day. He also watches movies and documentaries that go along with his history - maybe 1-2 per month. The only thing I do is look over his outlines, discuss what he's read in his history book, and discuss his literature books with him. I spend maybe 30-40 min per week, but it's usually spread through the week in 10-15 min increments. At the end of each section in his history book, he takes a week off from his regular work to read primary source documents. During those weeks, I spend a lot more time reading and discussing with him. I have read his history book before, but it's been a few years. I read it the summer before his older sister started 7th grade and chose literature & movies to go along with the readings. I know I looked through the textbook again last summer, but I haven't done any preparation other than that. I'm familiar with the topics already, and I've read all of his literature books multiple times.

All of my kids would have been paralyzed by a task like that at the piano, especially when they were beginners.

When we had little ones with music performances and babies tossed into the mix, we always left the baby at home. When our kids were very small, we couldn't afford a babysitter so that meant that either my husband or I would stay at home. If it was a nursing baby, I usually stayed at home. If it was an older baby or toddler, then dh would stay at home. This helped us to naturally alternate turns. The parent staying always recorded the performance as long as it wasn't a professional venue with rules against making recordings. Nowadays, we would just hire a babysitter. I do not take babies (under age 3 or 4 - depending on the child) to musical performances. I just don't. Not even a student performance where my own youngish child is performing. In your situation, I would have dh stay home with the baby. If the preschooler gets restless after her own turn performing, I would quietly exit the room between performances (hopefully when applause will muffle your exit). Then I would listen to the remainder of the performance from the lobby.

We spend $60 per sport per season plus the cost of whatever equipment needs replacing. With 2 kids in sports each season, it works out to about $600 per year. We spend another $300-400 per year on Boy Scouts for oldest ds. We spend about $1000 per month on arts instruction. Half of that is music lessons for 5 different children on 6 different instruments. The other half is just dance lessons for the girls. Older dd takes pre-professional classes and younger dd is headed that direction. That cost per month doesn't include the ongoing costs for things like sheet music, strings, and pointe shoes. Pointe shoes are insanely expensive.

For my dd in 4th grade: 45 min - practicing piano 1 hr - listening to me read aloud literature & history (I alternate history & science readings so tomorrow will be science) 15 min - math 15 min - grammar 20 min - writing 20 min - French 15 min - math I have her math split into 2 separate sessions right now, because we are trying to increase her daily math time without increasing her frustration. It was pretty short this morning (30 min total), but most days she is spending 20-30 min on each math session. She just whipped through her assignments quicker than normal. Today we spent about 2 1/2 hrs, but most days we spend closer to 3 hrs.

My kids have spent about 5-6 hrs on schoolwork in 6th-7th grades. Subjects broke down as: Math: 1 hr (daily) Latin : 1 hr (daily) English: 45 min (M-Th) History: 45 min (M-Th) Science: 45 min (M-Th) French: 45 min (M-Th) Then on Fridays they worked on electives like Art, Logic, etc. I don't count assigned reading, because they read in the evening when they had time. With reading, it may have been closer to 6+ hrs per day. I have always tried to be in the same room as my middle schoolers while they worked. It helps so much with focus. It really wasn't until midway through 7th grade that I could wander off and they would stay on task without me.

Our oldest wanted to go to public high school. I feel really strongly about my teens having a say in their schooling and we have good public schools here, but it was still a hard decision. I think the thing that helped me the most was the oft repeated advice to think about why you originally began to homeschool and whether those reasons still apply. We started homeschooling to give our kids a solid academic foundation, to help them develop a love of learning, and to have more time as a family without the pressures of school schedules & homework. When I considered those original reasons, I really felt that I had already achieved the first two goals. I absolutely gave my oldest a solid academic foundation and helped her develop a love of learning. As for family time, I was already finding that the time it took to provide oldest dd with extra-curricular and social opportunities was draining just as much family time as school would; it was just draining that time in the evening and on weekends. And we weren't even enjoying the flexibility of setting our own schedule anymore, because we were having to plan around extra-curricular activities and online classes. Sending her to school meant that we only had one schedule to work around, and she could get all her Latin, AP classes, extra-curriculars, and social time in one place before riding the bus home at the end of the day. She gets what she needs, and I have more time to give my younger kids the same academic foundation I gave her. Win-win. You don't have to make a decision right now, and you don't have to send both of them. Our younger son wanted to go also, but he is still homeschooling now and will stay home for 8th as well. We don't want him starting in the middle of middle school, so we've told him that he can choose to start in 9th. It doesn't have to all happen all at once. Make the decision that's best for each child and for the family as a whole.

Listening. I did LA3 without any extra resources for my oldest daughter (other than prepping for the NLE). She's really strong with languages and did fine, but I will probably need to find or create extra resources for younger ds when he gets there.

You are a wonderful person. There are few people who would rush to be at the side of a dying relative who had sided with a molester over them. You have treated your aunt with far more kindness and grace than she deserves under these circumstances. You have absolutely nothing to make amends for. Your actions clearly display love and forgiveness toward your aunt. You have said your goodbyes and have nothing to feel guilty about going forward. It is terrible manipulation and emotional abuse on the part of your mother to try to guilt you into coming to Thanksgiving with your abuser. This kind of crazy cannot be reasoned with. Be ready to respond clearly whenever your mother brings it up: "I will not be attending Thanksgiving with my molester." "I will not be bringing my daughter to any location where a child molester is present." "I'm troubled that aunt's last dying wish is for me to spend Thanksgiving with a child molester. I have a responsibility to keep my child safe by keeping her away from molesters." Simply say goodbye and hang-up if your mother wishes to "discuss" the issue. Stop answering the phone if it is causing you pain or anguish. But you have nothing to feel guilty about. It is a monstrous request for your mother and aunt to make. Shame on them.

Are they "shouldering complete responsibility for their children's education" or are they free-spirits who feel comfortable walking their own path outside of traditional school? I see a lot more free-spirit types locally - especially among those homeschooling younger kids. If they don't feel like going on a field trip today . . . well, isn't that the reason they homeschool? So they can have the freedom to do whatever feels best in the moment?

I just had a field trip today with a minimum required number of people. Two cancelled last minute (at least they emailed me) and then a third just no-showed, which dropped us below the number required for the tour. I was scolded, but then we were allowed to go on the tour after all "since we have a spot reserved for you and the tour guide is here." The flaky no-shows didn't bother me half as much as the parents who let their kids climb up the exterior of the building. It's a freaking historical building, not a climbing wall - what in the world?! Stuff like this makes homeschoolers look terrible. I'm at the point where I only organize field trips when it's something that has to be done as a group. Otherwise, I just take my own family and we enjoy it alone.

My daughter took a full practice test a few weeks ahead of time. She even insisted on taking it at 8 am on Sat morning for realistic testing conditions. I think that was helpful for her in gaining familiarity with the questions and the stamina necessary to test for that long. My current 7th grade son is also taking the SAT next month, but he doesn't have any interest in taking a full practice test. I'll probably just make sure he looks over the practice test so he's familiar with the different sections and the types of questions that will be asked.

Here they use the "Daily Five" as their overall approach to language arts. These are the 5 things that kids are supposed to do everyday: read to self, work on writing, read to someone, listen to reading, and word work. The word work portion is where teachers cover phonics, spelling, and grammar. My understanding is that much of the actual material covered is written at the district level rather than using textbooks or a specific curriculum. Every classroom in every school across the district is supposed to be teaching the same lesson on the same day. They teach both phonics and dolch sight words in kindergarten. In higher grades they have spelling words each week and a dolch list that has to be mastered by all kids in that grade level. Many of my friends deliberately teach their kids to read with phonics prior to kindergarten so the dolch lists don't mess them up. This is an upper-class area with lots of bright kids who read early, so that's an achievable goal for many families. For kids who aren't ready to read early, the dolch lists can cause lots of damage, because you aren't allowed to "sound out" any of the words; you have to say them instantly. There are a number of "good" teachers who bend that rule, and there are a number of teachers who use their daily "word work" time to teach more phonics than what is written in the district instructional guides. Reading intervention teachers deliberately teach phonics and phonemic awareness, but I don't know what specific curriculum they use. It could just be district-written materials like so many other areas. Now I'm curious.

Our district writes most of their own materials which I find baffling. Most of it seems to be modeled after Math in Focus, but with a huge emphasis on group work and discovery. Some teachers seem to really get the Math in Focus approach and are doing a fantastic job while other teachers are muddling through. Having a teacher who likes and understands math is the key factor. They do delay the standard algorithm in order to work on conceptual understanding, but all the parents I know teach the standard algorithm at home (& teachers don't care if the kids learn it early as long as they can also work the problems conceptually). Many of the local charters and private schools use Singapore. A few private schools use Saxon. I only know about some of these programs like Everyday Math from experiences shared here.

My oldest daughter has submitted writing to contests that specify that no help with editing is permitted. I know one contest (when she was a good bit younger) specified that parents could help type their child's work as long as they typed it exactly as written and did not correct spelling or grammar mistakes. So that's something to be aware of with writing contests. Read the rules carefully. OP, for the situation you're describing with 4-H, I would guess that help with editing is common and expected. Just don't do the writing for them or feed them the words. I would also beg all parents to let their kids make their own posters and displays - if only because the kid-made displays are so darn cute. I don't need to see a perfect, polished display made by a 45-yr-old dad. I want to see stuff that's actually made by kids!

For me, it depends on whether the writing itself will be judged. If my kids are submitting to an actual writing contest, then I don't go near it. I might make a general suggestion like, "You should organize your ideas before you start writing," or, "If you type it up, you can use spell-check," but I don't look at the writing at all. If they tell me it's okay, I will read the final draft that they are submitting (usually when they are submitting it), but I try really hard to not look at their work at all before that point. If it's something where the writing is just a component of a general activity, then I will look over their shoulders. I'm thinking of my oldest son recently writing a report on a town council meeting he attended to give to his boy scout merit badge counselor. I was definitely looking over his shoulder and telling him to go back and edit the spelling mistakes. But the purpose of the merit badge activity was to observe local government in action. The report was simply how he communicated back with the mb counselor, so I felt fine pointing out when his work was sloppy or not finished to *my* satisfaction before letting him turn it in. But I wouldn't feel okay sitting down with him to help him organize his writing or actually editing it for him, because the merit badge is supposed to be his own work. For writing done in our homeschool for the purposes of learning how to write, I'm the complete opposite. I spend lots of time sitting beside my kids and working with them through every step of the writing process.

My 7th grader spends 4-5 hrs daily (not including reading assigned literature). He no longer writes summaries; I have him outline science and history chapters. He also writes a short science report every month on his extra science readings. I feel that there just has to be some output at this age.

We start history in 1st grade, but I feel like my kids have really started to retain what they learn in 3rd grade and up. We don't follow 4-yr cycles, though. In elementary, we've alternated between 2-yr world history cycles and 2-yr American history cycles. Kids that got world history followed by American retained far more American history. Kids that got American history followed by world history retained far more world history. I don't really worry about retention; it's more about exposure and building positive feelings toward the subject. In elementary, we only spent about 15-20 min on history - twice per week. In contrast, we spent 30 min+ reading literature each day. Our balance has definitely been toward literature. Everyone cycles through world history again in 5th-7th, and then we do a year of American history in 8th. That's a really solid foundation before high school.

As a teen I knew I wanted to stay home with my children when they were small. I was watching my mother struggle to juggle life and daycare with working full-time after she had my baby brother. I imagined I would go to college and establish a career before taking a "break" to stay home with little ones. I never imagined that I would be on "break" this long, but I've had more children over a much wider spread than I ever expected. And that's before you throw in homeschooling.

About a million years ago, when my oldest daughter was in preschool, I went to a "magnet fair" for our school district. I stopped at a table for a local elementary school whose magnet was "pre-International Baccalaureate". And I was like "What?!" because how can an elementary school be pre-IB? So I stopped at the table to talk to the lady who was sitting there. I can't remember now whether she was the magnet director for the school or a vice-principal or what, but our conversation went something like this: Me: What does that mean that your elementary school is pre-IB? Lady: It means that we feed into the pre-IB magnet middle school which then feeds into the IB high school. Me: Okay, but what does a pre-IB elementary school do? Lady: We prepare the kids for the IB middle school and high school. Me: But what do your kids do to prepare for IB? (Lady rambles on and on about how they have a Spanish special every week and focus on international things - studying other countries & having an annual International festival.) Me: Don't all the elementary schools in our district have a Spanish special? Lady: Yes, but we have an international focus at our school, and that prepares the kids for IB, because IB is an international program. Oh my goodness, I laughed over that conversation for ages. To think I passed up the opportunity for my kindergartner to be a pre-IB student. So funny! ETA: I had completely forgotten about that conversation until madteaparty's comment.

If the only classes they offer are "pre-AP", then "pre-AP" is just another way of saying "regular track". Because there is no way that every single student at that school from low-IQ to high-IQ, from struggling reader to strong reader, from kid with ADHD to overachiever is functioning at a "pre-AP"-level. I'm just laughing at the idea. So don't let a sample of their most challenging materials shake your confidence, because it sounds like you are doing a fantastic job. You have not messed up. Those materials they gave you are their star in the sky that they're reaching for. Good for them, because high ideals & lofty goals are wonderful. But there is no freaking way that all of their kids are achieving at that level. Have you looked up their actual stats? Many high schools have their "school profile" right on their website. It should tell you the high school's average SAT score or ACT score, the percentage of students taking AP classes, and the AP pass rate. Take a look at those actual stats rather than being intimidated by whatever hard-sell they're giving you. And I say this as someone who lives in an upper-class area with fabulous schools. The public high schools around me offer full Latin programs and AP diplomas. They have kids taking as many as 15-20 AP's and have AP pass rates above 90% (yes, you read that correctly). Yet I know students at those schools who will admit they hate reading and have never read a book for English class all the way through. I know students who struggled in regular track classes and did the bare minimum and still graduated with decent gpa's. If your kid is ready to dive into the Latin program and sign up for 15 AP's, they will have a rich environment with equally motivated peers. But if your kid struggles with math . . . or with keeping his papers organized . . . or with meeting deadlines . . . he will have plenty of company, and he will graduate with a diploma too. And they have every student in between. Because it's a public school, and they have to educate every student who lives within the district boundaries. So take a deep breath. Look up some real stats on those AP classes. Talk to some parents who have kids attending the high school. If you don't know anybody, now is the time to chat up your neighbors . . . or the kid bagging your groceries . . . or the friendly kid who works Saturdays at the Chick-fil-a. Seriously, talk to some real high schoolers (and their parents) if you want to know what it's really like. If you really want to homeschool high school, that can be a wonderful choice. But don't do it out of fear. Go explore the high school in depth and talk to some real people. Then you'll be able to make the decision that's right for your daughter.