Would it help her to know that there are other girls in similar spots? My 9yo DD has wanted a sister of her own for years. Even though there would be a big age gap, she was really hoping that we'd have a girl this time around. She ended up with three brothers. And she is happy about them but still hopes for the baby sister someday (tbh, *K* want the baby sister for her as well -- my own sister is 9 years younger than I am, and while I've always had a little twinge about not having the close peer sister relationship that lots of girls have, I adore my sister and wouldn't trade her for anything). When DS3 arrived, my MIL was quick to suggest a girl's day out for her and DD, leaving no time for DD to feel sad -- she saw that being the only girl has its advantages right away! (She's also the oldest child, and the oldest grandchild on both sides, so much is made of her anyway.) I would encourage her to stop wallowing, and remind her that it's not the same, but maybe she'll find that close relationship to share the college/adult/mothering/etc. years with, later -- maybe her brothers' wives, or her husband's sister, or a college friend. . . I'd also have your DH make a special effort to make her feel special because she's his little girl.

Honestly, my 14yo self would be patting herself on the back for guessing pretty darn accurately how it would all turn out. She wanted a husband, a bunch of kids to homeschool, and a house in the country. She'd like it here, and she'd be trying to steal the infant sleeping on my chest. She'd be most thrilled to see that she got lots of chubby little babies to cuddle and not have to give back! :) She'd have wanted a little more money to play with, and she'd be pleasantly surprised at how much she likes being the mom of boys, but really, she's not so different from my 34yo self.

Every 6 months, but our insurance covers a basic checkup/cleaning/x-rays in full. If it didn't, I'd probably weigh pros and cons. One of my children is prone to plaque buildup pretty badly, despite good brushing habits, so that child really needs to be seen twice a year; my other child is not prone to plaque buildup (the dentist raves about how nice that child's teeth look), so once a year would probably be enough. And the 2yo isn't quite old enough for a cleaning yet, but I schedule him along with the older kids, and he gets a checkup/pleasant introduction to the dentist. My children also get eye exams once a year, but if one of them showed any signs of troubles, I'd be comfortable with more frequent exams.

I personally would give something from the registry. Good chance the bride knows what she could use. As for cost, it's been forever since I went to a wedding, but it would depend on our finances at the time, and our relationship to the couple. Close friends/family would merit more. For a young couple, I'd give cash if I didn't give something from the registry (maybe add a personal touch, like giving baking pans from the registry plus some pretty oven mitts or some related gadget that I personally used and liked).

If you opt for hospital, I'd also opt for a doula who was familiar with working with the hospital, so that she can help advocate for you. I'd also talk to the docs and say things like, "I want to go drug-free. How can you support me in that?" (Rather than, "how do you feel about natural birth?," because, of course, they'll say they're in favor of it, but you need active support for it.) One option to consider, even though you are thinking you don't want unassisted, is planning an unassisted birth (it sounds like your unassisted birth was a last minute unassisted, not a planned one -- world of difference there), but with the MW backup. See her for appointments and see if she will agree to come only if you feel you need her. That might lower your cost a lot, and if you ended up calling her for the birth, you'd know you spent the money because you needed it.

I suspect it's so that there are both men and women available for the teens, both for propriety reasons and comfort and mentorship reasons (someone to discuss topics like s*x with each gender, someone to provide an example of Biblical man/womanhood, etc.). I also suspect it's related to the verses in the Bible that talk about how an elder should be the husband of one wife. Perhaps it's like auto insurance -- married people are seen as more stable and less risky. (Some of the stories about crazy youth group stunts have made me wonder if they would have happened if the youth pastor had had a wife to give her input.)

The hospitals around the area where we had our DD (who was born in a freestanding birth center) had really high c-section rates, even in 2002, around 25% or so. Their episiotomy rates were high as well. The hospital that the birth center uses as their backup is good in case of emergency, but the BC's nurse/lactation consultant did not care for their breastfeeding support at all. That didn't thrill me. I've heard of too many people whose breastfeeding relationships were undermined by the hospital (though to be fair, I've heard very good stories as well). My births have all been wonderful, one birth center and three home. Not having to travel was one huge plus in favor of home, plus being in my own bed, not having people come in to check on us in the middle of the night, etc. Plus, knowing who would be taking care of us, and limiting my newborn's exposure to outside germs were important to us. I also wanted support for drug-free birth, so I only chose people to be around me who could actively support that; it seems hit or miss in a lot of hospitals, depending on the nurse you get and such. I think the biggest reason we wanted to avoid the hospital, though, is because we wanted to treat birth as normal and not a medical occasion, unless something showed otherwise. I wanted things like keeping the baby with me at all times, free access for DH and siblings, no eye ointment, no vitamin K shot, no bath, no c*rcumcision, no offer of labor drugs, no directed pushing, etc. to be standard and not things we'd even have to think about fighting for. I didn't even write a birth plan for my second birth, because everything I wanted was a given. Would a hospital have been successful for me? I don't know. My first was posterior, an 11.5 hour labor, with 1.5 hours of pushing, but no episiotomy or tearing in the end. I did well and didn't realize it had been that long, but whether a hospital would allow that length or not might depend on the hospital. My second -- I think a hospital would have been a bad idea, especially a very interventionist hospital. He was born very grey and fluidy, not breathing at all. I'm afraid that the backup hospital (not known for being natural-friendly) would have cut his cord and whisked him away from me, as I've heard has happened to people. At home, however, he never left my arms until he was cleared out and breathing well (MW gave him some oxygen while I held him), a good hour after birth, and he was fine. Also, I've had two babies well over 9 pounds, and in some states, that means automatic blood sugar testing. None of mine have had their blood sugars tested; we've just nursed and observed them, and they've been fine. I'm not saying that hospital experiences can't be good. I just think that planning for home gives me a better shot, personally, at getting the things that are most important to me. I guess it's like public school vs. homeschool -- I call the shots for *my* body and *our* baby (and with my third and fourth babies, I chose a MW who was happy to be my support, not my director -- she worked for me, rather than me following her rules), and I'm not quick to yield control unless there's a truly valid reason.

I'd probably think it was a little "off" at first, having never received such an invitation. (The showers I've been invited to have all been thrown by the woman's friend or even sister or mom.) But I'd probably shrug, pick up some diapers (and maybe a little extra something if finances allowed, or I'd knit up a little hat or toy), and call to ask if I could bring any food or anything. I'm of the opinion that babies are meant to be celebrated!

I got a bunch of Peterson's First Guides a few years ago, including one for trees, and my children (young like the OP's children) love them! They've got good pictures and descriptions for identification, and they're small enough to take along on nature walks quite easily.

I don't give grades. If they get something wrong, I help them figure out why, and we work at it until they master it. If my child got 86 percent on a test, I'd assume he/she didn't know the material sufficiently enough, and we'd work more on it. I'd much rather them know fewer topics well than many topics superficially, especially in math.

Right now, I think my 6yo (and probably my 2yo) would be thrilled to be a Star Wars sound effects dude! No, really, I don't care. If they are happy, decent at the job, and paying the bills, and the job is not illegal or immoral, more power to them! The time for snobbery, if there ever was one, is over. There's nothing undignified about doing a manual labor job well. I need my garbage collectors and grocery store cashiers as much as my doctors (and on a regular basis, more than the doctors)! ETA: As for college, I also don't care about that. I had a great college experience, so I'd ideally want that for my children, but I also want them to do what's right for them. If college isn't the best path to a career, then I am completely fine with that and would rather them not spend all that money if they don't need to. Oh, and I do care, to some degree, what my daughter does. If she chooses to get married and is blessed with children, I want her to stay home with them. At this point, that's what she wants to do as well, but that may change. Whether or not I encourage her to go to college will depend on her plans at the time, the cost of college, etc. I have no problem with her getting a degree and then not working outside the home, but I don't want her to go into major debt to do that. (And student loan debt for a non-working spouse seems like a hard thing to enter into a marriage with too. I did it myself, but since DH and I had been together for years before I went to college, at least we were able to discuss it and decide that it was worth a small amount of student loan debt for my degree, even though we planned all along for me to SAH and homeschool our children.)

That was super easy. I'm pretty sure I had to figure out much harder questions in order to pass tenth grade classes! Where were the questions about Beowulf and stoichiometry?? I think I'll see how many of them my 9yo can get right tomorrow. If the 6yo could read fluently, I think he could figure out some of them.

I've got a minivan and four kids as well. The baby goes behind the driver, and I had originally intended to have the oldest sit next to the baby. I thought that she would be most able to help with the baby if he got fussy, plus she could hand stuff back to the rear row if needed, and she and the next-to-oldest are the ones who tend to fight the most, so I thought they'd appreciate the break from each other. Also, the middle two (boys age 2 and 6) are best buddies, so I figured DS1 would be happy to help DS2 in the back seat. Of course, once we actually got the van and had the baby, the situation turned out differently, LOL. The older two refused to be separated; they claimed the rear row as their own little clubhouse. So I put both of the younger two in the middle row, and that let me keep the 2yo rear-facing. He likes sitting next to "his" baby (who hasn't been fussy in the car anyway), and he's done a good job handing things back. DS1 has turned out to be a big helper with babyDS3, and DD buckles DS2. So far, the older two have not been fighting, but it helps that there is a space between them. They know that if there is fighting, I'll rearrange the seating immediately. Switching frequently would drive me nuts.

Thanks, everyone! It really sounds like a bracelet, preferably the traditional chain one, would be best. It is highly unlikely that she'd need it most of the time; at this point, it's really rare that she's without DH or me. Our co-op friends, for instance, know that she's allergic and that they need to get me immediately if she gets stung, because I'll keep the EpiPen Jrs. with me. The one time she is ever without either of us (or grandparents, who all know the situation and how to use the EpiPen Jrs.) is dance class, and she can't wear jewelry for that anyway for safety reasons. I'll be discussing it all with her dance instructor, just to be sure.

My DD was just in the ER the other night after a bee sting. She started swelling up and had hives all over her body, so I took her to the ER, where they treated her with IV steroids and multiple antihistamines. She is fine now, thankfully (and she never did have trouble breathing, but I know hives are on that same spectrum). Anyway, they gave us scripts for EpiPen Jrs. (which I got). I'm notifying all relatives and friends who might have her in their care, including co-op and dance teachers (and instructing as needed), but I'm also thinking that a medical alert something might be helpful. DD likes the sparkly pink beaded medical alert bracelet we found, and it does look like something a 9yo would wear. We were thinking an anklet would make the most sense for her; I think she's too active (climbing trees, etc.) for a necklace to be a practical choice, and she doesn't always wear shoes with laces, so the shoe tags also wouldn't work so well. She's a very private person (doesn't always like discussing homeschooling if people ask about school, for instance), so I'm thinking she's not going to want people asking about a bracelet. So I thought an anklet would be good, and she's amenable to that. Question is: would an EMT/etc. know to look for an anklet? Would they check her ankle, and possibly under her sock? Would the pink beads be noticed, or would they just be seen as typical for a 9yo and go unrecognized? (In that case, we'd get the stainless chain.) If your child has had one of these, I'd love to hear your experiences. Also, does your child keep the jewelry on 24/7? It's such a rare occasion that DD is without both DH and me, and we aren't out and about every day, so I thought we'd try having her put it on whenever she puts on her shoes to leave the property, and if that morphs into 24/7 wearing, that's fine too.

I was going to suggest KnitPicks's superwash wool. I've used it for a hat and socks, but I gave them both away, so I don't know how they wash.

I'd keep everyone home, unless it was really, really important. A specialist visit that we'd been waiting for for months = really, really important. If I didn't have someone who could stay with the sick child (and I generally don't, though for something like that, I'd call DH at the office and see if he could come home), I'd take all of them and just try to keep the sick child away from other people. If I knew in advance of DH leaving for work that a child was sick when I needed to be somewhere with another child, I could potentially send the sick child with DH to work; he works in a very small office (often just him, maybe his boss upstairs, and one other guy in another building on the property) and could keep a sick child away from other people pretty easily. Sometimes being part of a family means you have to go along for the ride, even if you're sick. Sometimes Mom just doesn't have a choice. For co-op or church, I'd see if my older, non-sick child could ride with someone else, or at least be dropped off (maybe another mom would take responsibility for my older child during the activity, even if that mom couldn't pick up/drop off my child).

I love that she was so polite and said she was sorry! Too funny!

Two months! Oh, my, I am so very sorry! You've gotten some really good advice in this thread, but as I said before, please ask, if there is anything I can do that would help. I'm in your area fairly frequently and will send you messages to see if I can do any errands for you. I would definitely look into a temporary handicapped tag for your vehicle, especially if you'll be out with the children. :grouphug:

I'm assuming you're not in a state where ERIE is available. If so, I would highly recommend them. We've been customers with them for eleven years, both home and auto, and have never had anything but top-notch service from them.

What a great job -- a privilege to be supporting those women. I'm pretty anti-vaccinations for low-risk people, but this sounds your risk could indeed be greater. IIRC, it's one of the vaccines with lower risks of side effects (but I could be wrong on that), and in your situation, I think I'd probably get it.

Miss Sara is fine. I don't mind Mrs. Lastname, and one of my friends always refers to me as Mrs. Lastname to her children (two of whom are young teens; the other is elementary age). I'm fine with that; I don't mind if they're not that formal, but if their mom prefers it, that's fine with me too. I grew up calling most of my parents' friends Mr. or Mrs. Lastname, with a few people being Miss Firstname or Mr. Firstname. I found it very awkward to change from saying Mrs. Lastname to just Firstname when I became an adult. My mom's best friend has told me to call her by her first name, and it's so awkward for me to do that; I'm used to calling her Mrs. Lastname. I am a married adult parent, but she's still older and not quite my peer.

LOL, I use those for sleeping, or little noises keep me awake. It's tempting for daytime, but I don't think that would work, because then I couldn't hear the other children. I really need a way to get the children not to make the random noises. :)

Wow, that is fascinating! I would not be bothered by a medical professional asking about that (or if I feel safe at home or if the pregnancy was planned -- my MWs with my first two pregnancies included all of those questions as part of their basic health workup). Twice, I'd just assume the MW forgot or wanted to double-check. Random people (because anyone who knows me knows that my children all have the same father) -- I don't think I'd be offended, but I would think it was weird to ask. Really, who cares if they have the same father? It just seems so strange to me that anyone would ask that. I've not been asked that, but it's also fairly obvious that they're all related. (DD and DS1 don't look much alike; DD mostly favors me, and DS1 mostly looks like DH and FIL, except that he got my dimples, and the others did not. DS2 is colored like DS1 but looks more like DD and I otherwise. DS3 is dark-haired like DD and I, but I see DS1 in his face a lot, though he flips to looking more like DD/me/DS2 pretty often. The older boys are both blond like my dad and brother were as kids, and we haven't gotten one with DH's red hair yet.)

I really, really love my Graco SafeSeat for my newborns! I have used it from a couple of days old with both of my younger boys, who were 9 lbs. 5 oz. and 8 lbs. at birth -- so, not tiny, but not crazy huge either. They were 20.25 and 21 inches at birth as well, and the lowest straps fit them fine. DS2 used the seat until 18 months, so it's worth the money and is not that much more expensive than the regular smaller SnugRide. I also love our MyRide, and its infant insert seems nicer than the SafeSeat's. I have not tried it with a newborn, but it should work fine. If I didn't want to be able to move the infant seat between cars or keep it in the house in extreme hot/cold weather, I'd probably just have gone with the MyRide; it could easily last from birth until age 5. I can take some pics of my 6-week-old in each of the seats if that would help anyone.