Staff bios and pictures service styles (I’m a traditional worshipper so if there’s 2 services, contemporary and traditional or only one service I’d like to know) whether or not childcare is provided

Paper mail order catalogs!

For your mom, can you frame it as “THEY are choosing carrying a weapon over family.” you are allowed to make the rules for your own family. I have a family member whose dogs are like their kids. My house is a no indoor animal house. We make a comfortable space in our garage for their dogs. I’m not obligated to let their dogs in my house because….family. what if it’s singing obnoxious rap songs that depict rape? What if it’s watching porn in public areas of my home with my kids around? There can always be a thing that someone gets hung up on, and if that thing is more important than family, it’s not on you to bend in your own home. you get to make the rules for your home. They get to make the rules for their home. we have firearms. I have a concealed carry permit. If someone says “no guns in my house” they don’t go in that persons house. Period. Their house, their rules. I deal with it the same way that I do when I go to any of the county or state office buildings.

Being farm kids, mine have plenty of “back In my day…” stories. in fact, my dd22 works at cfa and she’s been known to say when the teen boys get whiny there “it’s quite clear who has NEVER worked in a tobacco patch”

Oof...Prickly preteens. Not fun. Has the DC always been this way? Is this the oldest child? My oldest could totally be like this at that age. It was HARD. If this is a NT kid, no special diagnosis, I would deal with it head on. At least in our family, we do not dance around this kind of thing. We are gentle and loving, but my kids don't get hints. They need direct communication. "Dear child, I love you and you are a wonderful person. I have to confess that I have been failing you as a parent. I've screwed up in allowing you to run from any form of hard things. Some of good parenting is helping all my kids grow by correcting their mistakes. These are not personal attacks, but when I love someone, I can't let them continue making mistakes because sooner or later, the mistakes will cause more suffering than just correcting problems. One problem I've been avoiding is how you handle when you're corrected. I've made a huge mistake by allowing you to avoid these issues. It was unfair of me to allow you to run away when shoveling snow the other day. We needed your help and because you bailed, everyone else had more work to do. That wsa unfair of me and it was unfair of you." Then I would dig deeper. What's going on in your head when you want to leave? Embarrassment? Anger? Confusion? I would start a dialogue about how to handle those big feelings. Also, I would allow a kid a momentary reprieve to pull themselves together but they have to come back to the task at hand within X minutes. ALso, they may need more direct communication on how to manage big feelings and what negative. self talk can do to us. I also would share this quote: “The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem” ― Captain Jack Sparrow And reinforce constantly that nobody expects this child to be perfect. Everyone knows he/she will make mistakes, missteps, errors, or whatever. It's no big deal! Everyone does this.

“Im sorry. That will no longer work for me. If the antics of a 7 year old can wreck the relationship between 2 families, I guess this is a bad fit. In my mind, adults can separate childish behavior from relationship issues, but I suppose I was mistaken in that assumption.”

Yeah…coffee bar? I’ve found that if a space doesn’t have a purpose it draws clutter

You know, it's entirely possible that your email recipient just didn't read your question. I used to work at my church and it was baffling how many people JUST DIDN'T READ stuff. Basic stuff. Easy stuff. Stuff that was 100 percent black and white clear as day.

You're correct

Your kids who work do need to file their own taxes. If you are responsible for their living expenses, you can still claim them. All my kids have worked jobs while living at home and we claimed them (I think there might be an upper age limit) as dependents, but they still had to file their own taxes. If they are supporting themselves, I think you can't claim them.

My grandfather died from asbestosis so yeah, it's a pretty big deal to be really careful with it.

I have days when I see everything perfectly and then there are other days where it all is a mes.

This morning the coffee made it into the cup, so there's a win right there.

I know the month is almost over but if you don't mind, I'd like to join in. Generally, I spend the month of January thinking and planning the year. Christmas and all sidelines all my thoughts for December, so I don't give it more thought till after the first of the year when things slow down. My word of the year is GROW. Big Picture Goals by years' end I'd like to have at least 50 credits toward my associate's degree. Right now, including the classes I'm enrolled in, I have 30, so along with some CLEP tests, this should be an achievable goal. I really really really need to lose about 15 pounds. Read through the Bible this year. Finish the manuscript of the Bible study book I began writing in 2020. Grow more of our veggies this year in the garden. That went fine last year until we spent 2 weeks travelling to Yellowstone and GNP, and then the weeds got ahead and that was the end of the garden. We won't have a long trip this year, so garden should be fine. I need a pleasurable goal. I'm a serious minded person and I struggle with adding fun into my days. And then I look up from the Grindstone I have had my nose planted in for weeks and I feel all blah. So this year, I think CELEBRATE is my theme. Figuring out how to celebrate more both big and small things in big and small ways. First thing, I received an invitation to a party celebrating the 60th anniversary and 80th birthdays of a sweet couple in my church. I don't usually attend these things, but now, I think I will. This month: Stay on top of the classes I'm enrolled in--This is working out nicely. Statistics, so far, isn't as bad as I thought it would be and the teacher is excellent. Start studying for the Biology Clep--done this. It's a big, hard test. But I have a plan in place and so far I'm working it. Weight--I've lost 2 pounds this month already. Hoping to drop another pound this week. I installed the "Lose It" app on my phone last week, and I think it's helping me with my eating goals. I'm going to the YMCA three times a week. I really need to add in some weights. That's pretty hard because I hate weights. So boring. Bible Reading is going well. Haven't even touched the manuscript and I don't care. Looking forward to February: Finish my Biology Units and prepare for the CLEP test in Mid March. Continue doing well in my classes. Lose 5 pounds in Feb. Add a 10 minutes weights routine three days a week? Ugh. I hate the thought. But continue with tracking the calories. Look at my manuscript for 30 minutes once a week. I bet this blooms into more time, but we'll see. My dd is expecting baby #2 on Feb 22, so that could blow everything apart. She will need help with her 20 month old and I can't get anything done when he's around. Attend the anniversary/birthday celebration at my church.

Started bright and early. Fixed up my coffee pod in my single serve machine. Went to dress as it brewed. Forgot to put the cup under it so my coffee was all over the counter when I came back. went to fabric store and went to check out. Forgot to go by the cutting table to cut my lengths of fabric. Been buying fabric for almost 30 years. reprimanded my dd for taking my phone. While my phone was in my hand. im going to bed now. This day needs to end.

Same. I’ve travelled all through the south, Florida Tennessee Georgia Alabama North Carolina. Last summer we drive from tn to glacier national park in Montana and never saw a rest area with anything but real toilets. ( tho there were pit latrines in Montana and South Dakota, but they had real toilet seats)

I'd do a corner cabinet in a heartbeat and get rid of my buffet and hutch. We had one in the first house we lived in and l love it.

I'm with you. Why do they do that? I don't want to think about my butt stink or anyone elses' thank you very much.

In my area it’s kids sports. And then grandkids sports.

Some people don't do projects like that. Some people are never home. My friend was a cabinetmaker. They made lots of gorgeous kitchens for people who NEVER cooked. Used the microwave and coffee maker, but didn't care about function at all because they never cooked. It blows my mind, but some folks live like that. Home is just a place to sleep and grab coffee.

Yes, it is concerning that there's a spy. It's also concerning that your dh would ACT or SPEAK on this information. So someone tells him something about you, for healthy divorced/separated couples, the person says "She's an adult, she can decide when/where to attend services, because it's not my business" Or at least registers that in the brain and has the social acumen to NOT MENTION it to your kids. This is so much about your dh as much as it is a spy. Even if he doesn't have spies, as long as his brain's screwed up enough that he can't filter information correctly he's going to continue this kind of boundary crossing. UGHHHHH! I hate this for you!

My YMCA locker room has this set up and I'm super grateful. Changing rooms with locking doors. Private bathroom stalls. Showers in a separate area with opaque locking shower doors. And signs that say "Please for the comfort of everyone, when in the public areas of the locker room please keep yourself covered with a towel, robe or clothing." So there's no naked people walking around. Everyone can change and clean up but the idea is to be respectful of everyone else in the locker room. (the locker area with benches and such is open and the changing areas/bathrooms/showers are off in little "legs" off of the main area. ) There are plenty of stalls, changing areas, and showers, so you don't have to wait long to get access to dress or shower. There's also a men's locker room, but also several unisex bathrooms that are toilet, sink and shower with curtain all in a room with a locking door.

Yeah, the rural south is much different from many of the larger cities.

I think it's more possible for women with no children. Because just me by myself, I could secure a dumpy apartment in a not so safe area and work at Lowes or something and barely get by. I'd have to hope that other opportunities would come along because I have no retirement apart from him and would be scrambling at age 44 to make things happen so if I had a medical event I could someday retire. If my health were to stay good though, I would probably need to work until I fell over. Women with children WILL struggle though. Between day care and just the energy required for parenting alone, it's a LOT, especially if one does not have extended family support. I don't know if my dh realizes that or not. He does see a ton of openings for "Warm bodies who work hard, show up on time, and don't take drugs" at his workplace and these are decent jobs with good benefits and if you can work for 25-30 years a pension. However, many of them have physical requirements that I don't think I could do. And the starting pay is still going to be very tight for making rent. Maybe the customer service aspect, answering the phone? I think that a single lady, no kids, no degree in her 40s or 50s could, after a few years finally reach stability and a life where she didn't have to agonize over every penny. But it would be pretty tough for a few years until she managed to "prove herself" and get some resume experience.

I know. I have a good friend who has a very complicated life and history and friendship is one place where she struggles. And I told her one day “you know, you’re not that hard to love” and she was baffled. Trauma messes with ones ability to sustain healthy friendships and believe that one is capable of healthy relationships . I want you to know it too. You're not that hard to love and you can find friends. You’re worthy. However, it is complicated and finding the right person who can handle it isn’t easy. But they do exist. And it’s worth looking for. Gentle encouragement while still understanding how hard and impossible it seems for you.