Thanks. so last Tuesday I started with a kidney stone that finally passed Saturday night. Now I’m sick and so is he. He also hurt his back (that might have been the source of the moaning now that I think about it. I’m not a nice person at 3 am) I feel like the quota of sickness/not feeling well should have been filled already. This definitely feels unfair. However, I’m sure it will pass and we’ll be on the mends soon.

No fever. This is his normal sick noise. I have the same cold too.

I grew up with my dad and 2 brothers I have a husband and son now that I live with. at any point in my life when the males I’ve lived with have come down with a cold, it’s like they make a point so sneeze cough and blow their noses as loudly as humanly possible. So are they being dramatic or is this just something that’s carried on the Y chromosome? (pondering this since I spent from 3-6 am listening to my dh cough, sneeze, and blow his nose, interspersed with some mild moaning)

Interesting…I saw this yesterday which seems related. https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5jQmykO5BX/?igsh=MWtlbjFraXJ0eg==

Ooooooo…I like this.

This is the truth. People talk about the fools old days whem people stayed married and children obeyed their parents and blah blah blah. It was not like that. My paternal great grandfather was a scoundrel. I find him in census records living with various women over the decades. The my great grandmother (his wife) with seemed to have lived a terribly hard life. She was listed as a seamstress, maid, and house cleaner in a poor part of town. Her mother lived with her and her three children that the scoundrel had with her. Sometimes she was even caring for some of his other children in her home while he was living with another lady.

Thank you for this. I appreciate your honesty. Maybe I need to require as many I’m thankful as I allow complaints.

My son, age 16, is about to make me lose my mind. He spends every school day, every time I see him complaining nonstop about school. (sometimes he interjects a long boring story about this youtube video he saw once) I am so sick of it. I have told him that I can't change it. He has to pass the 10th grade to graduate high school. I ask him what he wants me to do about it. He says there's nothing I can do. So it's just constant griping. He has no learning disabilities. He's a good student. He's not over his head. He just gripes. and gripes. and gripes. I'm so done with it. (I do recognize the irony of my griping about HIS griping. )

Since I live in one of the top tobacco producing counties in the country, it never really went away here. There’s always been a segment of this area that has smoked and among the lower income people it happens in all age ranges. I do see 20-30 year olds in middle and upper middle income families smoking cigars more. And vaping is huge among all income levels with young people.

Sounds like you handled your mom very well. I'm so glad you were able to have a decent time and reconnect with your nephew.

Mine did not. We were always poor white trash on both my mothers and father's sides. My dh's family did on his Father's side. Owned a massive farm in North Georgia. We own old papers from the late 1800s. Ironically, my dh's Great Great Great (not sure how many greats) was a state representative who was one of a couple that voted against secession. Even though he owned slaves. I think he saw the handwriting on the wall. We have some papers that listed some of his slaves. It's sad. I have such sad feelings when I look at the pages. After the War, he received a presidential pardon from Andrew Johnson. We have it. We have lots of pictures and historical documents and information about that side of the family. The original house is still standing and is on the national register of historic places. It's definitely not a Scarlett O'Hara type place. It was a log house with odd framed add ons. It was probably fancy for it's time, but it's not impressive like many of the antebellum homes of New Orleans or Charleston. The family ended up poor though. After a generation or two, the family fortunes vanished due to drinking and gambling.

Passed away at age 47. https://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/pop-culture-news/mandisa-american-idol-singer-grammy-winner-dies-47-rcna148561

For the parent... I'd probably seek the doctor privately "I know there are limited things you can talk to be about mom's care, but since me and my family are her primary support, we need to plan for how long she'll be under the weather. Can you give me an estimate about the time frame before she can...." This is respectful of the parent's mental state as well as your need to be able to make plans to be a caregiver. For the friend, I'd just ask. "Do you want me to ask questions or just cheer you on. " Id also say, " If at any point I'm getting to be 'too much' during this appointment, just lay your hand on my knee and I'll shut up." For young adults, I've advised them on good doctor questions and have them written down. I'd say "People often write down questions before appointments so nobody's going to think you're weird. They see it all the time." My two standard doctor questions are "Do I need to make a follow up appointment before I leave?" and "If I'm not seeing improvement, how long do I wait before calling back?" Also with scheduling, I do ask my adult kids "Do you want me to make the appointment? If so, what times are good for you? And do you want/need me to come with you??" My adult daughters do not have time to wait on hold, nor are they always in a position to answer a call back.

Don't have another kid for the kids. Have one because YOU want another kid. There are no guarantees that they'll be close. They may be like oil and water. You never know.

Praying for all of you…

Yes, this. eventually she’ll learn the skills to toss some things together quickly during the week. And her family will develop a taste for more “home cooked” things than convenience foods. It’s not something that can happen super quickly. Small changes over time will add up

I’m with you. I know not everyone is a prudish about me about language, but i would hope that they’d realize that some people find that language offensive and in public it’s best to keep it under wraps.

Also, If I was a working mom, I would totally have theme dinner plans that would repeat Monday, soup Tuesday, Tacos Wednesady, Pasta... etc. Because thinking about what to cook is one of the hardest parts for me. Taking the "What's for dinner" question and deciding it ahead of time would simplify it. Even if we ended up eating the same thing every week.

Frozen meal kits work in other ways besides just meat patties. I think I recall seeing frozen stir fry in the freezer. I also keep frozen raw chicken tenders in the freezer. They don't take long to cook and are very versatile. Toss them in a skillet with seasoning and hot oil and you just add frozen cooked veggies and a baked potato. That takes (other than baking the potatoes) like 20 minutes. Taco meat can be cooked and frozen for future use. Same with chicken quesadilla meat. A pot of chili is easy to prep in the morning and can go in the crock pot. (Browned packages of 1 lb hamburger meat can go in freezer bags and make meal prep quicker) Spaghetti is quick and easy. (Ground beeef, canned tomato sauce, seasonings, pasta) Takes less than half and hour to prepare,

If I HAD to order them: The frozen chicken with pasta/rice side is BETTER, but would be better with a side salad or veggies and dip Second would be frozen chicken with fries McD's would be dead last, not the least of which is that it primes my children to think that a heart attack in a sack is a decent meal option. Even if the prepared at home food is not as nutritionally great, it does get a family in the habit of thinking that most eating happens at home, preparing a meal is a natural part of the day, planning for meals is a normal part of daily living, etc. Also, much more expensive (especially these days) ETA: I understand the appeal of the McDonalds stuff. No dishes, it's already hot, no pans to wash. However, I think often very tired working moms can think short term and miss solutions like using paper plates and only having cookware that is dishwasher safe and getting the kids to clean the kitchen. (no judgement, I miss things like that when I'm tired and overcommited too) Also, it is annoying to fight kids about eating veggies, but they will never learn to eat them if you don't at least put them out and have them try it. Baby carrots, cukes and broccoli with ranch are quick and easy and many kids will at least try one bite.

Shoot. It got me!

Ehhh sort of…I have had multiple injures though and after a bit of rest, I have to go to physical therapy to regain my abilities. So I look at my anxiety like if I allow myself to drop anything that makes me upset, it’s like I don’t do my pt exercises and I’m getting weaker.

Side note: If you want a practical way of using the fireplace to heat your home, you can get a wood stove insert like we have. We don’t really have to run heat in our house and there’s no sparks.

I'm currently taking classes at my community college. So far, there have been a few little hiccups, but overall, this has not been my experience. The classes I've taken online are decently organized and I can understand what is due and when it's due. The syllabi are generally up to date as are the due dates for projects and assignments. Some of my kids' university classes online have been fine while others not so much, but only ONE class during Covid was truly horrible. It seems that at their university, the professors who like online teaching and have the tech skills to do so manage fairly well, while the others who are better in person, don't seem to be required to teach the online classes (except for Covid and that was a mess). Even during covid, with the exception of the one horrible class, most of the professors managed their tech limitations with good humor and cut everyone some slack on due dates and stuff, if the professor's tech skills were the issue.

how fun on the eggs! I wonder what makes some people become a wounder vs others becoming a healer?