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Everything posted by fairfarmhand

  1. Yes, learning to live in the right now is so helpful. Being too future focused tends to produce anxiety. Being too past focused tends to produce depression. Staying present for the beauty of today is life giving.
  2. For art supplies/crayons/pencils type things, buy a selection of mason jars and store them in there. You can get them in many sizes and if you are feeling really creative buy those chalkboard type sticker labels.
  3. Can you get storage bins to put things on the shelves? Like these https://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/simply-essential-trade-9-cube-organizer/5560084?skuId=69662184&enginename=google&mcid=PS_googlepla_nonbrand_storage_online&product_id=69662184&adtype=pla_with_promotion&product_channel=online&adpos=&creative=538248149474&device=m&matchtype=&network=g&gclid=CjwKCAjwk6-LBhBZEiwAOUUDp79I0HE9UC6w-jinJCPl80KNpW2LXIdVeHTBPJsL1L2a3zjKAYeafRoC9usQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds whats on the shelves?
  4. Do you feel comfortable posting pictures? What kinds of things gather there? Are you needing storage ideas? I have a shelf with pegs in my dining room and that’s where purses and keys hang. For coziness, I add throws with texture, rugs, live plants and scented candles.
  5. I don’t think of a “big plan” kind of thing. That’s a lot for a kid (and an adult) But more of an encouragement to take advantage of opportunities on a daily basis to make others feel good about themselves and make the place I am in a better place.
  6. wow, I am sorry you have experienced all that. I do want to say that at my church the ladies would be tickled pink to step in and decorate and help with a wedding. And I know lots of unconventional people who are welcomed with open arms in my area. I would not feel free to offer an opinion about your problems with another church member. It's none of my business. I think it's sad that you have had such experiences. I'm so sorry. 😞
  7. That is true. I have just a handful of close friends. But that doesn't mean that I snub others at group activities. I can sit and chat at Bible study with more acquaintance level people, though. I do chat with my close friends at these things but I make a special effort with the less known people because they need to be included, they are neat people, and it;s fun to get to know others. I'll see my besties at other times.
  8. Also, it really helps to open up to other parents in the group when you say, " My level of activity is unsustainable. I know I signed up for x y and z, but after x date, I need someone to step up to lead three weeks of the month. I'll take a turn once a month, but I can't do it like it's happening now." People will not learn to step up and find their way if you always volunteer to lead stuff. They may take some time to find their stride but they really could learn to do stuff. and that is a win for you and them. Sometimes when I've worked with very capable folks, I've been intimidated to step in because their shoes are hard to fill. Having them at the sidelines cheering me on, encouraging me, and giving a bit of gentle advice helped me learn and grow. If they never allowed me to help, I wouldn't have learned how to do stuff.
  9. My random thoughts. When I am planning my schedule, I look at it like a budget. I look at what HAS to be done. keeping the family healthy and sane is # 1, School is #2. This means that basic household chores and school hours are sacred. Everything else has to fit in around those things. This is where I HAVE TO BE REALISTIC. Some people are ok with a high schooler spending 3-4 hours on school a day. I'm not. My kids need a more rigorous schedule. Adding stuff in that keeps them from spending that time means a trade off. I'm trading the extra stuff for the quality education. Are you comfortable making that trade off? Remember that every yes means you're saying no to something else. Yes to some activities means a no to a home cooked meal. Yes to some activities means a no to a "good" school day. So to clear up things in your mind, any day that you say yes to something that eats into your school day, that means that you're compromising on the quality of education that your kids get. Every yes to adding something means a no to something else. Also, remember that you do need margin. Margin allows you to manage when someone has an unexpected dental emergency; margin allows you to serve someone else when their loved one dies; margin helps you not drop the spinning plates when something weird happens, and they happen. I agree to swapping some stuff out for every other week or every month type things. Monday afternoons we're always home. Tuesday is music lessons, Wednesday is Drama. Thursday twice a month is co-op and in the off weeks we get together with friends. Fridays I work and run errands. I guard my Monday afternoons. They allow me to have a whole day to clean, catch up on laundry, etc. My ds has taekwon do Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday evenings. It's just a half hour, but during that half hour, I pick up groceries, handle email and plan for classes that I teach. By the way, you don't have to lead everything. It's very freeing to be able to drop off kids and spend that time planning or handling errands.
  10. I like meeting all kinds of people and I can find common ground with so many different kinds of folks. Who knows if that "crunchy mama" might turn out to be a REALLY FUN person. Who knows if the helicopter mom has a really good reason to be so? (Both of these kinds of moms have turned out to be good friends of mine.) I felt this way and then one day I met this gal. She just loved people. She was interested in all people (she was a military wife, so I really think her openness was part of that culture, maybe) and was open about her own flaws and as accepting of others' flaws. It was the first encounter that I had with someone who liked me and I didn't have to be or act any particular way. And that changed things for me. I figured out who I am was enough, And then I found others who were okay with themselves and okay with me being myself. Or maybe our learning to accept who we were allowed us to accept others as they were.
  11. I know of employers who are handling it like this: anyone exposed has to either be vaccinated, in which case they can stay at work. if not vaccinated, employees can have proof of negative covid test 3 days after exposure. They have to use their own vacation days for this 3 days. If positive they stay home for 10 days or negative covid test. employees who do not have vacation days keep their jobs but don’t get paid. this has incentivized vaccination. Nobody wants to use all their leave for this. It’s a large organization with several hundred people. They WILL be exposed at work, many already have. eta: it’s not perfect. But it’s a decent alternative.
  12. My husband is in public health and since the beginning of the pandemic kept an Excel spreadsheet of the daily illnesses and deaths in our state. We watched his line graph go up and down. Then last December his mom died of Covid. One of those numbers (we're not sure what day the health department included her death in the stats) was his mom. Typing in the numbers that week was surreal for my dh. And for every one of those numbers, many people cried and lay awake at night aching and missing... And they probably still do... Numbers are faceless things. Each one stands for a person. Someone;s parent. Sister. Friend.
  13. I send out a text that says, If you don't want to cook, we need someone to bring drinks, paper products, etc. I'll also have an option for things that could be picked up "We need someone to bring a tray of veggies and fruit along with a dessert of any kind. (I don't care if it's a couple of boxes of oatmeal cream pies or a deli cake)" When I'm organizing, This is how I send out an email Looking forward to our dinner next month. Just trying to get things organized. REmember that we all need to pitch in to make this a fun day for everyone. We will be having _____ people at the dinner, so keep that in mind as you prepare. Aunt Sue is hosting and will be providing the burgers and hot dogs. We all have busy times and some of us have more time to spend in the kitchen some years than others. Don't feel pressured to cook if you don't feel up to it, but please choose an option below so that everyone will contribute to this years dinner. No judgement if you end up grabbing stuff from the store!" Then I divvy up the food so they are somewhat equal. I number things so people can claim the number. And if the only thing left is for the non participating family, I'll send a text "Hey, Joe and Susan, since we didn't hear from you, the only thing left to bring is cups, plates, and forks. See you soon!" It's also a good idea to reply to all with these emails so everyone has an idea of what everyone else is bringing. Subtle peer pressure isn't a bad thing. .
  14. In the house yes, we’re far from neighbors. However on one side we have an open field and we live on top of a hill. The road curls around the base of the hill so everyone driving by for a mile and a half could see us along with 3 of our neighbors. If we walked further back, I guess we could strip down. Because we have wooded areas behind us. However the dog who sticks his nose on my (clothed) bottom every time I go out would be a problem.
  15. I had chocolate gravy for the first time last month when we were down near the Tennessee Mississippi border. and native Floridians are their own kind of people.
  16. I think people are just more obnoxious these days. Not just driving but everywhere.
  17. https://www.walmart.com/ip/All-Creatures-Great-Small-Season-1-Masterpiece-DVD/591875646?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=1035&&adid=22222222227395295085&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=c&wl3=537324268313&wl4=pla-1054049144776&wl5=9013156&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=113134932&wl11=online&wl12=591875646&veh=sem&gclid=CjwKCAjw2P-KBhByEiwADBYWCjg55L2ofTPbApsPlXcs9fXeFp1cdvCv6hIQgV2y8KmgJWAVMj0C_xoC93cQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
  18. Yeah, if you’d raise a fuss about a nursing home tolerating that level of yuck, you may just need to do what needs to be done. Probably once he gets used to you matter of factly doing his clothes and all, he may get tired of grumping about it. thing is, the fussing is working for him right now, so….
  19. Isn’t it Amazing that I can be a functioning adult who works and pays bills and raises human beings and be terribly idiotic?
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