It's good to know I'm not alone! I think I am approaching burn-out, which is adding to my desire to check out of life, lol. However, there's little to nothing I can do about the issues causing me burn-out. Sooooo, I guess I have to stay in the game. I have definitely changed; this was never an issue when I was younger. But I also think the stresses I have now are more psychological in nature as opposed to the relentless "doing" that was required when my kids were all little. Now my mind is occupied with college stress, health stress, extended family issues, financial stress, yada yada yada... For me, that kind of mental/emotional pressure seems to be more taxing and totally makes me want to hide from the world and my responsibilities therein. I left the house and walked around the mall last night because I was worried that if I stayed at home I would just eat. That helped a bit, although it would've more fun if I bought stuff, but I really can't do that. (See "college and financial stress" above, lol!)

This is a new (bad) habit for me. As I get older, I find myself procrastinating??? Or maybe it's because everything is so. darn. stressful. these days that I can't seem to get myself to tackle things that need to be tackled. It's not life or death stuff, and school is getting done, meals are being made and mostly consumed, house is relatively clean. It's just the going the extra mile stuff that probably *ought* to be done that I just can't get myself to do. I never used to be the "I can't deal, so I'm checking out" type of person. Apparently, now I am. :confused1: Anyone else?

A big consideration for me would be whether DD dropping out suddenly would adversely affect the other dancers. Is this the sort of thing where they rely on her to be there to do her thing, and without her they're stuck? I don't mean to say that you *shouldn't* drop the classes if you've all decided this is the best thing for her. But, the answer to that would influence how I would let them know. If the situation is as I described, then I would feel that a more clear explanation with a few reasons is important. If they've invested in her and she took a position that could have been offered to others, then I think the school is owed some degree of explanation. If not, then say the bare minimum and leave.

:grouphug: So sorry...

Once you have evlauted him and have a sense of what his specific needs are, and IF you have determined what you are able and willing to provide, I would most definitely put an end-date out there. No long term, open-ended commitment. Put it out there on your terms so there are no hurt feelings or confusion. I think it's kind of you to offer your help. Just make sure you both know what your limitations are.

What might work is if you buy a sparkly eyeshadow and a lipgloss with a light tint to it. Then you can give it to her and just say, "Sometimes for special occasions like this it's fun to do something a little different and special." That's probably the most I would recommend for a DD who has no interest in makeup. Going to a make-up counter would be overwhelming, IMO, if she isn't even into it. I :001_wub: make-up, but I would start really basic with her. Good luck!

Clearly, the most important point in all of this. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Yes, good point.

Funny, didn't we just read a thread where the OP was wondering if some members of her family who were sick, or kind of sick, or potentially sick should go to a NYE party? Most of us probably never think of immune deficiency issues like the above poster.

Yes on the pies. No problem there. Not sure about the cupcakes and whoopie pies. I suppose as long as they're refrigerated???

:iagree: I learn from the younger set all the time, and though I don't adopt all their styles I certainly can incorporate some of them, when appropriate. Also, reading Negin's comment, I feel :001_wub:. How sweet and dear to feel this way about your mom and your daughter. Such a blessing!

Rough stuff...

She won't apologize, of course. You already know that, right? If you think back you'll realize that she never has and never will *own* what she's done. It's out of character for NPD, and the only reason we even think in terms of apologies is because we AREN'T NPD, and normal, healthy people DO apologize when they've grievously harmed others. I TOTALLY agree with a pp who said to take all the time you need to respond. Do NOT feel compelled to issue a response immediately. This was always the hardest thing for me---feeling like when initiation was made toward me, I *had* to respond right away. As for the Biblical mandate to forgive, I'm totally there. But remember, that sometimes the greatest act of love we can commit is refusing to put ourselves in a situation where a very sick, twisted person can repeatedly sin against us. :grouphug: You have my complete empathy and best wishes for achieving and mainatining healthy boundaries (which sometimes means NO interaction, even when the other party initiates).

If a private message is sent and the person reads it, then a check mark will show up beside it, so you'll know that it's been seen. But this isn't the case with a regular post.

Why should you avoid flipping out?!?!? Is this woman insane? She put two children in her TRUNK and drove for 30 minutes in TRAFFIC????!!!! There is no way I would avoid flipping out and there is NO reason why diplomacy is called for. I would get on the phone with her ASAP and tell her how unbelievably dangerous her actions were and that you will never allow her to drive your dd anywhere and at anytime. Moreover, I would let every other mom know what happened and she would be OUT of the carpool faster than she could blink. Horrible and completely stupid!

How scary! Hope all goes well with your MIL. Kudos for you for taking care of all those many things on the homefront. I'm sure your wife is breathing easier knowing she can focus on caring for her MIL since you've got home stuff covered.

At the risk of entering into the fray... I suppose I would call myself a conservative Christian in that I believe the Bible is the inspired word of God, that Jesus came to earth to die as a sacrifice for the sin of mankind, and that the only way to God is through faith in Jesus Christ. I also believe in Christ's teaching on heaven and hell; namely, that without faith in the work of Christ on the cross, an individual faces the punishment for his/her sin, which is eternal separation from God in hell. Conversely, faith in Christ promises eternal life in heaven. Having said that, I'm old enough and have walked with Christ long enough to know that there is no way to legislate faith, nor can you force people to align their lives and choices with a faith that is rooted in the spirit. Hence, I don't bristle when people choose to say Happy Holidays (tame example), or when our government no longer works from a decidedly Christian paradigm. Why should they? If they don't believe, then what's the impetus? Faith in Christ is about following a radical, sacrificial, powerful, full of love God, who desires to love each person He created into an earthly relationship with Him, and culminating in a heavenly relationship. If one doesn't believe in this, then why should I expect them to pretend they do? I believe life begins at conception, I believe marriage was created by God to be between a man and a woman. I understand that many don't believe this. I'm less inclined to change their opinions, and more inclined to get to know them, love them, and, if possible, share my faith with them. What God does in their hearts is between Him and them. I do believe the Bible's teaching on heaven and hell, so, yes, I choose to share my faith when I'm able to, because I believe if one dies without having received the gift of forgiveness of sins, they will suffer in hell. That troubles me deeply, and I believe it firmly. It's what makes me want to share my faith. I'm glad someone believed this enough to share with me those many, many years ago. But, sharing my faith with people on an individual basis, in the context of relationship, is not the same thing as protesting outside of abortion clinics.

All of the above advice is awesome! And, I'll just add, :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: Good for you guys for making the decision to take charge of your health! It may seem daunting, but if you do things gradually to change, it *IS* doable. One helpful tip that worked for me was to really visualize how I wanted to look. Maybe an old picture of yourself from when you were at a healthier weight? I also used Pinterest for fitness and fashion inspiration to keep me motivated.

:iagree: The cashiers HAVE to ask as it is part of their job. The first few times I felt put on the spot, like my generosity and my character were on the line if I said no! But, I've grown accustomed to it here, and I just smile and say, "No, thanks." Nobody says anything else about it, the transaction gets completed, and I go on my way. I kind of think about now in the same terms as them asking if I'd like to open a credit card account with their store. "No, thanks," is the same answer I give to that. I'm willing to bet that if you hear it often enough you won't bat an eye after awhile.

I was seriously thinking of ordering from them, too, but then I read some reviews that said the dresses were way too small, even when the measuring instructions were followed. Also, I think they're based in India, so if you order over a certain dollar amount you have to pay customs on the order. This also made it difficult to return... What do you think about that? If those issues aren't the norm, then I'm totally in.

Too young, IMO. I don't think I've seen anyone over the age of 8 wearing pigtails. A low ponytail, updo, or a bun are fine. Even a braid is fine if it's low. But pigtails, a high pony, or higher braids are odd on a grown woman. I'm now at the age when I'm having to pause and think about how something will look on me to the outside world, lol. I can fit into a lot of cute, hip clothes, and I like fashion so there's the draw. However, I'm in my forties and some things just don't look right anymore. Not because I can't put them together well or rock a certain look, but because it just comes off like I'm trying waaaay too hard to stay youthful. I think when we choose chic, age-appropriate hairstyles and clothes, it makes us look better than if we wear too young looks. But now I'm waxing philosophical when I really should be administering spelling tests... :lol:

:iagree: A few years ago I read an interview with him where he described how sexualized his childhood was. He said his mother was this gorgeous woman and she and her equally gorgeous female friends would get together and walk around naked. In his house. While he was there. Also, he mentioned that he saw his parents having TeA all the time. So, this guy was obviously traumatized early on, which is incredibly sad. It also makes me wonder about this whole rape allegation. Personally, I think it's ridiculous. He's a grown man who provided a whip for a woman to use against him, then she "raped" him. And he didn't get her off of him...why? Because he was paralyzed with fear? Yeah, not buying it.

I don't think you can really get people to understand this when they really want to get you something. For example, one of my dc's teachers has told us repeatedly that she does not want any gifts at the holidays. However, there are many internationals in his class, and they in particular see it as a way to show honor and respect to this teacher so they really can't abide the idea of giving nothing to her. In fact, I think it's wrong of her to be so insistent, as it fails to take into consideration the backgrounds and needs of the givers. Now, your situation is probably not like this, in that you may not be dealing with cross-cultural practices, but I believe the sentiment is the same. When someone would feel awkward and uncomfortable NOT giving you something, or if they would be robbed of some joy by you not wanting to receive a gift from them, then I think the onus is on you to happily receive the gift. I know you said you always show appreciation when someone does give you one, but I would go further and say you should probably not even say you don't want anything.

:lol: :lol: :lol: Boy, do I know that!

And even then, to the bolded, it still can't make the case that "hsing" made him a murderer. This was a deeply troubled young man who, without effective help, was bound to come unhinged no matter his educational context.