I second this. This is exactly how a relative resent a wedding invitation that another manipulative relative claimed she never received.

:iagree:

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At the time we had our children, we were confident that we could easily pay for a bachelor degree at a state university or possibly a private university. Tuition outpaced inflation, and the stock market took a nosedive. Now my salary goes toward paying education expense. I am truly glad that I never stopped working at least part time seasonally. Like you, when I look around, I see worried people struggling to provide basic needs. Frankly my children are likely to have a lower standard of living than what they grew up in, so it is a good thing that we lived frugally.

I would not be willing to remain celibate in that situation, nor would I expect my husband to. I would have made same decision you did. Glad everything turned out well in the end.

Times have obviously changed since I bought video games for my children, but I thought that once a game was opened, it could only be exchanged for same item.

That is a situation that I did not think of when listing what circumstances would cause me to delay or stop reproduction. When one parent has to be away so much of the time, the other parent is a defacto single parent with all the extra work that that entails. Another reason that would make me stop is having a spouse who is uninvolved in his children's lives by his choice. Of course, I am sure we generally try to determine prior to marriage if a man will be a good father.

:iagree: It sounds like marriage or family counseling would be in order.

I'm not familiar with the book. However, if you chop vegetables finely enough, most of them can be hidden in pizza until kids' tastes have matured.

:lol:

..

My kids are all teens or young adults. We would have more electronic gadgets if we felt it was a wise way to spend money at this point. When work picks up, certainly I want to upgrade to smart phones. The only family's finances that concern me are my own or those for whom I am a fiduciary payee.

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I will look into the Dyson Ball vacuum. After my faithful old cloth bag Eureka Sanitaire vacuum bought from janitor supply died, we have now owned three different vacuums, none of which I've been satisifed with.

This describes my husband (and me) too. Strangely my husband usually desires TeA (not sure if I recalled proper sequence of upper case/lower case letters) in passive manner when sick. It was all he asked for after three surgeries in recent years: gall bladder removal, appendectomy, and a growth removal.

Yes, on an almost daily basis.

I do not recall the goatee flap, but they are a lovely combo.

I worded my original post poorly. I should have asked what reasons would make you not reproduce even if you had desire to do so. Obviously simply not wanting children is reason enough to not reproduce, and I personally do not consider it selfish at all to decide not to reproduce as long as your partner is in agreement with you. We had intended to have a larger family but originally stopped because of the demands of a special needs child. Ultimately we served kids in ways other than bearing them ourselves. Other reasons that I would stop in spite of wanting another: financial constraints that I could not reasonably foresee overcoming in near future; inability to adequately provide food clothing and shelter for existing children; time limitations; physical or mental health issues in either partner that would impede properly caring for child; knowledge of a high likelihood of passing along a significant genetic defect or disease; living in an area where war and/or genocide were occurring; living in an already unhappy unsatisfying marriage.

Yes, I am familiar with NFP and used it for a number of years. However, my NFP use was not related to religious beliefs. I omitted the NFP option because it has what I would personally consider a "higher than minimal" failure rate even when woman is thoroughly educated and carefully monitors cycle and uses either or both cervical mucous and basal temp methods. I am well aware that many NFP advocates would dispute that statement.

Updated post: What I meant to ask was if you wanted one or more children, what kinds of circumstances would cause you to either delay it or completely forego it? Assuming it is a marriage where sexual activity will continue regardless of reproduction decision, birth control is a must. I also assumed that if a couple did NOT want to reproduce, they would use birth control. I specifically omitted NFP because I personally do not consider it to meet criteria of minimal failure rate even though I did not specify a particular failure rate. We had intended to have a larger family but originally stopped because of the demands of a special needs child. Other reasons that I would stop in spite of wanting another: financial constraints that I could not reasonably foresee overcoming in near future; inability to adequately provide food clothing and shelter for existing children; time limitations; physical or mental health issues in either partner that would impede properly caring for child; knowledge of a high likelihood of passing along a significant genetic defect or disease; living in an area where war and/or genocide were occurring; living in an already unhappy unsatisfying marriage. Original post: Obviously opinions will differ from couple to couple, but what do you personally consider valid reasons for postponing or ceasing having babies? Postponing or ceasing reproduction would involve using barrier, double barrier, hormonal, or surgical birth control method or methods that have minimal failure rates.

We do not exchange gifts on designated holidays. However, if you regret your decision, wouldn't it be a simple matter of notifying husband that you have rethought the matter and do indeed wish to exchange gifts?

Probably a misguided effort at proselytizing.

Is it possible that for whatever reason they have decided to cut off or limit contact with you? Are there contentious issues other than the smoking? I ask this because I have read posts here advising members to cut off or limit contact with family for a variety of reasons. Your family seems to be conducting themselves in the manner that members here recommend when cutting someone out of your life: little or no initiation of contact, declining invitations to visit, etc. Of course, the mother canceling day before was lousy. Perhaps they erroneously perceive that you look down on them because they smoke? Could it be that none of them can kick the habit, but they do not want to potentially harm your asthmatic daughter? Maybe they are uncomfortable visiting nonsmoking households? Regarding an informal outdoor bbq wedding, you can safely assume there will be lots of smoking going on. It probably is best not to expose your asthmatic daughter to it. Smoking has grown so controversial that smokers tend to identify and congregate with other smokers. There is not anything you can do about the distance your extended family has chosen to place between you and them, but luckily you have a nice little nuclear family. The wedding decisions are theirs to make. You probably should avoid facebook communication with the fiance for now until things settle down.

:iagree:

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