S/O of kids dc and parents tea making regarding the difference between ds/dd.

[KidsHappen]

For those of you with both boys and girls, have you noticed any difference between how boys handle it and how girls handle it?

 

I have six kids with the oldest being a boy and the rest girls. My ds was 8 when I married my new hubby so his reactions were a little different than the girls but I think that was mostly due to the fact that I was with someone other than his father. Once he got older he was much more accepting.

 

The girls on the other hand were always very matter of fact about it. It was just part of life and no big deal. Mu hubby and I have always been very affectionate in front of the dc, much hugging, kissing and grab-*ssing as we call it. Of course, when the girls were little they were jealous and wanted to be in the middle of the affection. And then as they got a little older they went through the embarrased "Mom! Dad!" stage but eventually they moved on to the "Get a room!" stage. But they have stated that they are actually glad to see us so affectionate.

 

We are very open with them though. They do ask very direct questions sometimes and I have no problem answering them. Examples include do we still have s*x, how often, do we enjoy it, etc? I do draw the line at specific details but do discuss with them what some people in general do. But I also had the same sort of talks with my ds once he was a teen so I didn't really notice any difference in this respect.

 

I am just wonder if other people have noticed a difference in the way their dc react or handle this knowledge/these discussions.

Edited May 4, 2009 by KidsHappen
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[KidsHappen]

70 views and no answers. Has no one noticed a difference or just no one willing to talk about it?

[Liza Q]

My son is only 9 so I can't comment - but I am interested!

[TravelingChris]

My children have never asked anything and we have very minimal discussions. There are no gender differences in their non-discussion. They all have asked about aberrant behavior of others on tv news or something like that- some guy stealing shoes, etc.

[Jenny in Atl]

I'm a good bit older than both my brothers, and I don't remember either of them having an issue with my folks and their sex life.

 

I only have girls, so I can't compare as a parent, but both mine have know about the "facts of life" since a very young age, and neither is/was bother by it. In fact our snails just recently laid eggs, and Fi was disappointed she missed both the coupling and the egg laying. She's fascinated by nature, except ants. She dislikes ants a lot. :lol:

[Amber in AUS]

I just think all kids are different. We had three girls in my family and all took it differently, I was the one who just wanted to be invisible when anything like that was discussed. My youngest sister OTOH was all ears and very interested.

 

My kids are too little to have encountered that yet.

 

I was talking to my Aunty on the weekend her kids are 18, 15, 13 & 11. 3 girls 1 boy. They are very open in their discussions and she said her DS 15 tells her everything so she is comfortable he has good understanding etc. She attributes that to the open discussion when he was very small.

[The Girls' Mom]

We just have girls...my oldest is really the only one aware of ALL the facts just yet. She wants to pretend we don't do that...lol. She was telling me just yesterday how gross I was because I was telling my dh how sexy he was. (of course I was really making fun of his white legs and choice of attire) They all three start yelling "ew gross" when they see us kissing. It's quite funny.

[Snickerdoodle]

I really have no idea what the title of this thread means.

 

But I only have young boys and this topic has not come up for us at all. They haven't been curious about where babies come from or anything even remotely related to that.

[Impish]

Well...Tazzie (4) and Princess (2.5) are too young to understand yet. Diva, however, once walked in on us, about 6 yrs ago. Lightening fast movement on my dh's part had me thinking she hadn't seen anything, and a lock was promptly installed on our door that afternoon. She didn't say anything at the time, so we thought we were in the clear. Then at supper, she asked what we had been doing. My husband, having been an only child, was completely unprepared to discuss such issues with his then 4 yo dd answered immediately, "Mommy and I were trying to make you a baby brother or sister, but its magic, and if anybody sees, it doesn't work."

 

My poor dd. She'll be the only one on the planet that thinks keeping the lights on and eyes open works as birth control :lol:

[cathmom]

I cannot imagine my dc asking such personal questions about my dh and me. I have no problem discussing the topic in general. My oldest son never asked anything like that.

[Rich with Kids]

70 views and no answers. Has no one noticed a difference or just no one willing to talk about it?

 

Oh, you know I'll talk about it. :D

 

I didn't realize my kids were hearing us. But they do not seem to have any residual effects. That will show up, I'm sure, in future counseling sessions about the other issues we are giving them. :tongue_smilie:

[KidsHappen]

I really have no idea what the title of this thread means.

 

But I only have young boys and this topic has not come up for us at all. They haven't been curious about where babies come from or anything even remotely related to that.

 

Someone recently posted that their ds was upset when he overheard them having s*x. This lead to wonder if boys react to this information differently than girls. Does it embarrass them more? Upset them? Are they more uncomfortable discussing it? Do they react differently talking to mom than dad? Aovid the subject entirely? Pretend it doesn;t happen? Just questions along these lines and really just more of a curiosity that for any particular reason. That was an awful lot to convery in they title though. Sorry if it wasn't more clear.

[Desert Rat]

I have 2 boys so I won't be able to answer the question. But, I did want to see how most BOYS handled it as we're beginning s*x ed in a few weeks with my 9yo.

I have one brother. There were no differences between the ways we reacted as children. However, I do see that my parents didn't handle the entire thing well. It was a here-take-this-book-do-you-have-any-questions approach. I won't be doing that for my boys. I will be using the same book but we will be reading it together and I won't take "No I don't have any questions" lightly. With my parents, they were grateful not to answer questions even though I was brimming with them and too embarassed to ask.

I bring this up because it has definitely affected my adult life and I work hard to be less inhibited. I think it has also hindered my brother somewhat, but of course, we don't talk about it. LOL

[Tree House Academy]

I only have boys. The 5 year old is utterly clueless as he just doesn't care. My 9 year old is cool about it. Just yesterday, I had to remind him that if the door is locked, DON'T KNOCK. Mom will just be mad. LOL

[AnnetteB]

None of the dc has ever wanted to discuss our personal love life. The only one that ever "caught" us was a toddler and he said, "Peek a boo." (He wasn't as traumatized as I was.) We talk in general terms about marriage and sex when they are old enough to understand/care and they all seem to have healthy attitudes. The girls get the "talk" a little earlier before their first m. and the boys know about the girls' needs and how it all works. We educate them all on natural family planning techniques as well as barrier methods vs. various pills. These discussions get detailed, but not personal. Each child has their own way of dealing with the info. The raised eyebrows from the boys are the funniest.