When/how do you get really comfortable and confident with teaching academic skills?

[Colleen in NS]

Someone was looking for a deep discussion, and I'm hoping to open one up.

 

When/how do you get really comfortable with teaching academic skills? Does there ever come a point for you where you feel like you could teach math skills up to or through high school, or grammar skills up to or through high school, or writing skills up to or through high school, or Latin, without stumbling and fumbling your way through the (?) skill book?

 

The further along I go in the WTM-style path (this is nearing the end of my 5th year using WTM-style education), the more I realize what I was not taught in school (no new story on these boards, I'm sure). So I heavily rely on my TMs to help me teach my kids the skills. But some days I get frustrated with myself that I don't just *know* grammar (or math, Latin, writing) concepts, so that I could just glance at the book and quickly figure out how to get today's concept across and practiced, without having to comb through each lesson, each day, and figure out what exercises to eliminate that my child doesn't need. Just about every day I feel this mild pressure to make sure I get the right balance in the lesson. I'm confident in the skills programs I use, and I see the repetition and review each year now - I'm just not confident in my ability to teach. Oh, I could study way ahead and get to know the concepts in each area, and I do to some extent, but to really get ahead in all these areas requires more time for me than I'm able to give. I've gone through weeks of intense study in my "free" time, only to feel like studying is all I ever do. So, I go in spurts - sometimes I study ahead, sometimes I stay just a week ahead. I can't just study skills all the time or I won't have time to plain old read the content books my kids are reading, or do crafts or other fun things with my family.

 

(I should also mention that I *have* become pretty adept at figuring out what to eliminate or do orally in our skills books - I just still feel the everyday pressure, I think because of lack of confidence in knowing the material *really* well and lack of confidence in general teaching ability - and yet, my kids are progressing, and I'm quite happy with that)

 

EDIT: I am completely committed to homeschooling all the way through high school - I'm not questioning my choice to homeschool, or my methods - I'm just bothered right now by my inadequacies.

Edited April 3, 2009 by Colleen in NS

[sassenach]

I've been thinking about this quite a bit lately. Not a day goes by that I don't wonder if this is the right choice. In Florida, I was more confident. The schools were worse, the hs choices were plentiful. I felt supported. Here, the schools are great (Or so I'm told- over and over and over again), and there is not a whole lot going on for homeschoolers. I find myself constantly wondering if we are doing the right thing. I guess I'm answering a different question than the one you asked. Sigh.

 

I feel confident in those things that I'm naturally gifted at. I could teach math and science through the upper levels. I'm not as confident with writing skills. I rely heavily on TMs for grammar and latin, neither of which I studied in school (beyond very basic grammar). We are planning on public highschool for multiple reasons, one of which is my ability to handle the highschool workload and depth. If my oldest was my only or if my kids were closer in age, I would feel more confident. But I know that I will not be able to give my oldest what she needs academically. big sigh.

[MIch elle]

It's the second time through that makes it easier. I've done the math, English, history, writing, etc.; so it's not new and I feel more relaxed/confident about teaching.

 

My older ds is in private high school and is doing well so I feel that I've prepared him well. I SEE that much of what's he's doing is the same as what we did at home but at a higher level (he cranks out the work/tests).

[swellmomma]

I am feeling the same way as you, I rely heavily on my TMs and I really am not that far into things. I am confident that I can teach it if I have reviewed the lesson before hand, preread etc, but if I don't do that I feel like I am floundering. I was never good in math(but aced stats in college go figure), never learned proper grammar, or lit analysis etc. I feel VERY confident in teaching biology, chemistry, and history because I love them so that is fine, even though I hated history in school I am loving it now and feel very confident. I do know that I keep the helps I can turn to for some subjects in the back of my mind. FOr example, my sister teaches high school math classes to adults in a college, so I know if I am really feeling my confidence slip I can either get her to tutor me so I know it better to teach the kids or tutor the kids directly.

 

I think I would struggle more with teaching them and lose my confidence in many more subjects if I didn't take the time to read ahead, study the TMs beforehand, etc

[Colleen in NS]

I feel confident in those things that I'm naturally gifted at. I could teach math and science through the upper levels. I'm not as confident with writing skills. I rely heavily on TMs for grammar and latin, neither of which I studied in school (beyond very basic grammar).

 

I don't have anything academic that I feel confident in teaching all the way through - what's it like to have that?:lol: Other non-academic things, no problem. I guess by the time my son finishes high school, I should be bursting with confidence, right? :D RIGHT?? (please, someone, say yes!)

 

It's the second time through that makes it easier. I've done the math, English, history, writing, etc.; so it's not new and I feel more relaxed/confident about teaching.

 

My older ds is in private high school and is doing well so I feel that I've prepared him well. I SEE that much of what's he's doing is the same as what we did at home but at a higher level (he cranks out the work/tests).

 

I know what you mean, I feel much more relaxed teaching my 2nd child. It just bothers me that so much energy has to be put into learning how to teach my first (not his fault, but the fault of my lack of really great skills education)....I have to be careful to give the 2nd as much attention.

 

I am feeling the same way as you, I rely heavily on my TMs and I really am not that far into things. I am confident that I can teach it if I have reviewed the lesson before hand, preread etc, but if I don't do that I feel like I am floundering.

 

I think I would struggle more with teaching them and lose my confidence in many more subjects if I didn't take the time to read ahead, study the TMs beforehand, etc

 

Exactly. And like I said above, I suppose we'll be glowing with confidence at the end. And our kids will be able to do a much better job with their kids.

[Melissa in Australia]

I think I might know what I am doing when I get to the 5th child. I know more about each subject each time I do it with the next child along.

I wish I had more of a choice of homeschoolers for support here. there are a lot of homeschoolers in the area. they unfortuanately are mostly unschoolers ( and I mean very unschool) there are no classic homeschoolers here at all .

[Wyndie]

I feel your pain! I struggle with teaching... period. My son was a breeze, he's very A type personality, read early, taught himself stuff... my second child is such a challenge, she is the exact opposite of him. She's more like me in learning style, which does help b/c I understand how she learns, but I still don't know how to teach her either! lol And I'm sure my third will be different in someway to make me feel even more inadequate.

 

When I express this to my homeschooling friends, they all seem to feel this way. I guess it's a common feeling b/c it's not something most of us were trained for or went to school to get a degree in.

 

I look forward to the day I feel like I've got it all together, although I suspect that will be when I'm helping my kids organize their homeschool for my grandchildren. lol

[G5052]

When they were little, I was so worried about not being able to teach them phonics and spent hours studying my materials. Each was so different to teach, and I'm amazed they came out the other side actually reading and spelling.

 

Math, science, grammar, writing, and literature I'm OK on. I struggle mightily with Latin, Spanish, art, and history. And music is a shortfall too. We've never had the money for lessons, and I haven't been able to teach them myself successfully.

[PollyOR]

. I guess it's a common feeling b/c it's not something most of us were trained for or went to school to get a degree in.

 

Wyndie, I have a degree in elementary education and believe me, I am not better equipped or prepared than any other homeschool mom.

[Colleen in NS]

I think I might know what I am doing when I get to the 5th child.

 

:D That's what my Mom would say when she was raising the five of us. I was the oldest, and I called my youngest sibling The Benefactor.:lol: It was all in fun, of course.

 

When I express this to my homeschooling friends, they all seem to feel this way. I guess it's a common feeling b/c it's not something most of us were trained for or went to school to get a degree in.

 

I look forward to the day I feel like I've got it all together, although I suspect that will be when I'm helping my kids organize their homeschool for my grandchildren. lol

 

You know what? I have one homeschooling friend IRL who educates similarly to the way I do - we have similar ideas of academic excellence, so we talk about these things sometimes. Neither she nor I have university or college degrees in anything. And before another mutual homeschooling friend of ours moved away a couple of years ago, this mutual friend (with a teaching degree) told us how impressed she was with the job we were doing with our kids, even without us having degrees. (I know this can sound insulting, but it wasn't) She meant it as an encouragement to us, and it was nice to hear.

 

But I'll probably continue to doubt myself til I'm helping those grandkids and telling my kids what a breeze it is to teach......

 

When they were little, I was so worried about not being able to teach them phonics and spent hours studying my materials. Each was so different to teach, and I'm amazed they came out the other side actually reading and spelling.

 

Math, science, grammar, writing, and literature I'm OK on. I struggle mightily with Latin, Spanish, art, and history. And music is a shortfall too. We've never had the money for lessons, and I haven't been able to teach them myself successfully.

 

I did the same thing, weeks figuring out how to use our how-to-read/spelling program (it was worth it). I look back now and it seems so easy. But it was tough going through the learning process of how to teach something unfamiliar to me.

 

And I can TOTALLY relate to the never having money for lessons!!! We've had our kids in swim lessons a couple of times and then gave up. We sometimes go to the pool during cheap times and just play now. Gradually they got used to the water, and I hear tell there is a video for teaching your own kids to swim....it would be right up my have-to-be-frugal-do-it-myself mentality.

 

I have, many times, been envious of people who can pay for lessons like that, or do online classes (like Latin or logic), or get private tutors for difficult-for-Mom skill subjects. I've desperately wanted them to be able to have piano lessons. We just cannot afford it on a regular basis. So, dh, who is a guitar player, took up the thrift-store-bought Bastien music books and is plodding along in those with our kids and our wonderful, donated piano. It's probably not as efficient as a tutor would be (because dh is learning alongside the kids), but I figure it's a start that the kids can build on later if they want to.

 

And so that's how we do things here - if I want them to learn a skill, one of us learns it first and teaches the kids (most of it falls to me). I think the can't-afford-lessons/tutor/classes aspect is the most maddening/the biggest blessing to us. Maddening because I have to learn it if I want to teach it (and there are so many skills I want them to learn), and a blessing because it forces me to learn something I didn't learn in my earlier education and we as a family have a lot of time together without a lot of outside interruption. It's just that the pressure I put on myself to learn skills to teach is what also contributes to my doubts about my ability. I juggle a lot of learning plates right now.

 

Wyndie, I have a degree in elementary education and believe me, I am not better equipped or prepared than any other homeschool mom.

 

This is what my professional teacher mother with 40-something years of experience keeps telling me - that a degree doesn't always equip a person to teach what a kid needs. She's very supportive of homeschooling. Maybe I should go give her a call and get a pep talk.....except she can't hear very well on the phone anymore.

 

Thanks for pep-talking with me. Carry on, if more have more to add! This is very therapeutic for me. I'll check back tomorrow.

[Laura Corin]

I've been thinking about this quite a bit lately. Not a day goes by that I don't wonder if this is the right choice. In Florida, I was more confident. The schools were worse, the hs choices were plentiful.

 

When we moved to China, home educating was the only option really, plus Calvin had been struggling with dyspraxia in school. Now, five years later, there is an excellent school down the road and Calvin's fine motor skills have improved enormously.

 

We had always planned for the children to go to school at some point before university - our current plan (entry in September '11) is sooner than we previously thought. I'm sure that this is partly driven by the feelings that the OP is struggling with, as well as considerations like science labs and sports facilities.

 

Laura

[Peela]

Interesting question. I don't think it comes up so much for me any more. But I don't lack confidence in myself so much anymore (I think its something about getting older)...I didn't go to university but I could have. I did well at school. I am bright. I guess I know I could give my kids as well as I received.....but with all the help out there with WTM and other resources, I can give them better.

I can't be what I am not, I can't share the education I didn't get, but I don't really feel the need to any more. I felt inadequate for a while there- it was all so overwhelming. But I dont see myself as having to "teach" everything any more. My kids are old enough to "teach" themselves in many areas, for example maths. If they get stuck, I try and help. Sometimes I can't...then I bring in the neighbour, or we just sit there till we work it out. I dont relaly feel inadequate. Its just what is. We work through things together. Its just reality, if I dont know it, I will help them work it out with them. I dont see a problem with that.

I think some personalities are more prone to self doubt and self criticism than others. I am not immune to that, but I dont really live from there much.

But I also am not really trying to live up to TWTM standards. It is an inspiration and a guide for me, but not a rigid one by any means. There is plenty we will not get to because the effort required doesnt seem worth it for the outcome- given that we have limited time- we dont work 8 or 10 hours a day. For example, we plod through Latin but have no end goal- we will get as far as we get and call it good. We probably won't get to formal logic, but may play with Fallacies for several years.

I dont mean to sound arrogant at all...but I find I just trust myself and what we are doing, and I notice some others rely on the external authority of people who write books, a lot. Here on the boards you will see people who will follow TWTM recommendations closely... or LCC closely, or whatever....but there are others who take the ideas and suggestions and fly with them in different directions (e.g. Nan in Mass). Neither is better, but I suspect the people who take the ball and run in their own direction have more fun :)

Homeschooling does feel like a huge responsibility, but its a fairly well trodden path nowadays. I have confidence that I can provide for my kids a better than average education- but its not the only reason I homeschool, and I feel very confident that just being home with one on one guidance is the best thing for my son, as in school he would really flounder with his LDs.

The academic rigour is kind of fun, but no way do I think I am going to be able to provide it in all subjects right through highschool. But I can outsource, and I do. And more and more, I am facilitating my kids' education, while they teach themselves, and I am there as back up, and to keep them moving on, to share their difficulties and help them find a way through. I don't "teach" much any more.

I look at all the other mums on these boards and IRL, and I see some more capable and better educated, and some less capable, less confident, some almost frantic....all of us at different stages, with different personalities, different backgrounds...but all of us with a passion and love for educating our kids well. The community shows me where I may be slacking off, where I may be ignorant and need to read more, where I maybe stressing unecessarily, where I am strong and others are weak, and vice versa....and I feel confident that I can do this, that I am not perfect and no way are my kids going to get a perfect education, it will have gaps and strengths and weaknesses....but overall, it is a real education, a useful one, a deep one, a better one than I got myself, and amongst it all we have shared a deep bonding and love and hopefully, they haven't had the love of learning burned out of them.

[always cookin']

I feel so inadequate to teach, especially writing. I really want to hs all the way through. I just can't figure out how I am going to teach my dc to write well. How can I evaluate something that I can't do myself? Maybe I'll have to look into online courses or something. I don't know. Luckily, my dh can help with math and science.

 

And unlike you, I am not organized and don't seem to take the time to read through all the teacher's manuals and plan, etc. I have been flying by the seat of my pants. Hopefully now that I am done having babies, I can force myself to spend more time and energy in that area.

[MamaT]

It does help your confidence to go through it all the way with the first one! I have graduated two and I have to say I feel confident to teach high school math, science, writing, etc. The only thing the kiddos can get ahead of me in now is Latin. My older boys zoomed past me at a speed I couldn't keep up with. I am learning ahead of my third son now.

 

Homeschooling has made me a life-long learner. I don't know that I would have continued to educate myself if I had not absolutely had to. Once you have the first one go all the way through high school (poor guinea pig), you realize that you really CAN do this. It's much easier to teach the rest of them. They all present their own set of difficulties, of course. The only thing we outsourced was music lessons.

 

I treasure the years of learning together with my children. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

[Colleen in NS]

I think some personalities are more prone to self doubt and self criticism than others.

 

I notice some others rely on the external authority of people who write books, a lot. Here on the boards you will see people who will follow TWTM recommendations closely... or LCC closely, or whatever....but there are others who take the ideas and suggestions and fly with them in different directions (e.g. Nan in Mass).

 

I am definitely prone to self-doubt and self-criticism. I have appreciated reading your posts over the years about how you have relaxed - they are calming for me to read!:)

 

I am one who has relied on WTM and external books. It has become a reliance, though, on books/authorities who can show me how to teach skills. I don't care much anymore about "covering" every jot and tiddle about history, or science, or the most important Great Books - but I do care about systematically equipping my kids with as many math skills, as many writing skills, as many grammar skills, and as many other thinking skills (Latin, logic, rhetoric, even art/music if possible - they are thinking exercises, too) as I can possibly do, without spending hours each day (and we don't - I spend a lot of time thinking about this stuff - but between my teaching and the kids doing independent work, it's probably 4 to 5 hours total a day.). But the thing I take away from WTM is that skills are more necessary than covering all the content areas in depth (I think depth can come later, as skills are mastered - although content is definitely enjoyed here), and because I didn't get these skills and yet I think they are really important for my kids' future learning, I plow through.

 

And fight off those self doubts periodically, with help here!:D

[Colleen in NS]

I feel so inadequate to teach' date=' especially writing. I really want to hs all the way through. I just can't figure out how I am going to teach my dc to write well. How can I evaluate something that I can't do myself? Maybe I'll have to look into online courses or something. I don't know. Luckily, my dh can help with math and science.

 

And unlike you, I am not organized and don't seem to take the time to read through all the teacher's manuals and plan, etc. I have been flying by the seat of my pants. Hopefully now that I am done having babies, I can force myself to spend more time and energy in that area.[/quote']

 

Oh, don't get me wrong, I DON'T read through all my TMs way ahead of time - I've tried that before and got bogged down! I try to stay a few lessons ahead, and occasionally spring ahead a bit further if it's something that doesn't require a ton of thinking (like I worked through the Mind Benders books last year, and right now I'm working through the VfCR series just to get the flashcards ready and making my own answer key - it's math/grammar/Latin/writing that require so much energy of me). But the things that require a lot of my mental energy, I pretty much stay right with my son and learn with him. Flying by the seat of my pants here, too.

[ciyates]

I feel horrible when he fails a Latin quiz and very confident when he repairs the neighbor's electric fence and explains to them in great detail about the necessity of a closed circuit. :bigear:

[Colleen in NS]

It does help your confidence to go through it all the way with the first one! I have graduated two and I have to say I feel confident to teach high school math, science, writing, etc. The only thing the kiddos can get ahead of me in now is Latin. My older boys zoomed past me at a speed I couldn't keep up with. I am learning ahead of my third son now.

 

Homeschooling has made me a life-long learner. I don't know that I would have continued to educate myself if I had not absolutely had to. Once you have the first one go all the way through high school (poor guinea pig), you realize that you really CAN do this. It's much easier to teach the rest of them. They all present their own set of difficulties, of course. The only thing we outsourced was music lessons.

 

I treasure the years of learning together with my children. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

 

Ah, the voice of long experience here, thank you for chiming in!!!!!!!!!

 

Since you said the only thing you outsourced was music lessons, would you mind sharing about your experience of teaching other things? Were there skills you had to learn to teach? Did you have experience in these skills before homeschooling? Did you feel inadequate? How did you get through those periods?

 

I am definitely enjoying learning with my kids (though I have to temper my enthusiasm sometimes when ds rolls his eyes at yet another discovery of an English derivative that came from Latin, or when I see some cool math pattern, or when I see similarities between English and Latin and Spanish grammar....). I love that I have so much time with them through their growing years and that I get to say, "Hey, look at all *I* taught them so far!! Who would have thought I could do this??" And that they get so much time to just read, relax, and play instead of being shuffled around.

[kalanamak]

Just about every day I feel this mild pressure to make sure I get the right balance in the lesson. I'm confident in the skills programs I use, and I see the repetition and review each year now - I'm just not confident in my ability to teach.

 

I'm betting the average brick and mortar school teacher has these thoughts, too, esp. as they begin their career.

 

I, too, feel there were huge holes in my education, especially in the foundations. The 60's brought the "new math", and my sister noted how rigorous the schools were a mere 20 years ahead of me (she was that much older). This is why I have lost my hobbies: my hobby is now reading ahead. Yesterday I started the Teaching Company's geology intro in prep for earth science next year. I've ordered English Grammar for Students of Latin (their Spanish one is fabulously concise).

http://www.amazon.com/English-Grammar-Students-Latin-Learning/dp/0934034192

 

But especially I read the level ahead. That is, for speed and the basics, I read books geared to 10-12 year olds on the topic at hand. I am hoping this strategy works when kiddo is 10, and I'm reading books aimed at 15 year olds.

[Wyndie]

I feel so inadequate to teach' date=' especially writing. I really want to hs all the way through. I just can't figure out how I am going to teach my dc to write well. How can I evaluate something that I can't do myself? Maybe I'll have to look into online courses or something. I don't know. Luckily, my dh can help with math and science. [/quote']

 

Maybe you could get a tutor or mentor for your children... or someone to mentor you to teach it. :D Do you have a teacher-friend who can help you?

 

My son long ago left me in the dust with his writing skills, so I enrolled him in a homeschool group class, taught by homeschooling moms. We will probably do this with other subjects that are just beyond my scope of teaching. I don't think there's any harm in getting outside help on subjects that you struggle with.

[ElizabethB]

I practiced on other people's children so I never had that problem!

 

I started tutoring adults in Algebra when I first got out of college. A few years after that, I started remedial reading tutoring with phonics for both children and adults. Later, I tutored a bit of trig. So, I never doubted that I could teach my children!

 

However, interestingly, basic math has required some study and experimentation. It came so easily for me and seems so simple that I never really thought there was any need to learn/stress about elementary level math. Reading Liping Ma's "Knowing and Teaching Elementary Math" and reading and posting here has helped, also trying out different math programs.

 

After 16 years of teaching remedial phonics, I could teach reading and spelling in my sleep. It's a big confidence booster to take children (and adults) who read poorly and teach them. Here's a thread I wrote about how tutoring has helped me with my homeschooling and how to tutor remedial reading as a volunteer or for pay, first a quote from it and then the link:

 

So, when my daughter comes to me and says, the neighbor girl said I should be going to school, the teachers know more than you, I can tell her truthfully, “Actually, that’s not true. I have taught many children to read that the schools were not able to teach to read."

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=76395