Tess in the Burbs Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 We have lived in this area for 4.5 years now. We have been in our current city for almost 2 years. We play sports in the same league, kids attend Awanas, participate in a homeschool PE class weekly and try to do playdates with friends in nearby cities at least once a month to keep contact. Our church is SMALL and not a resource for kids. (there are only 4 kids I know of and I have 2 of them, lol) My kids had tons of friends when we lived 45 min up the road. Most were from church. Now we have very few. I like the ones we have but honestly, it bothers me they don't have more friends. My son has one close friend we see at least once a week. But usually when we get together ALL the kids are there and he doesn't get that one on one time with his friend. My daughter does not many friends she's close to. We have 3 families we get together with that has daughters she plays with but not someone she talks to weekly and such. I feel like we are out there participating in things but they aren't connecting with any new kids. In fact, in our neighborhood we have met a few kids but once we talk and say let's get together again no one ever calls back. I have even gone back to the homes and left our number again!!! (feeling desperate when I do those kind of things, lol!!!) And my kids are asking why they don't have more friends and why we don't get together with anyone anymore. After 2 years here I too thought we would have a larger base of friends. Where have your children met their close friends? Church? Sports? Co-op? We haven't tried scouts, but it's next on my list even though I don't want to do it. Where else should I look and get involved in that could bring about some connecting for my kids' sake? Summer is coming and we tend to have less playdates then with people traveling. In fact, I am considering spending the summer with family and going camping a lot to not be home and distract the kids from the fact it's just us most days. I will say there are 3 houses across the street with boys my son's age. they are never outside. and when they are, they are often mean or avoid playing with us at all. Is it possible us being homeschoolers is the issue? Are the parents telling their kids to avoid us? thanks so much for any ideas of the best place to meet good people/friends!!! As a mom it's hard to see your kids so sad and wanting friendship but unable to provide it for them :-( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 We have been in this neighborhood for six years. There were 4 boys who are close in age to my sons. Two are just sort of "okay to play with when we need a football team" type friends, but two are really special and one in particular has become a very close friend to my boys. I love him - he's fun, funny, kind, affectionate and just an all around great 11 year old. All of these boys go to school, but not all to the same school because Charlotte is a place with a lot of schooling options. This past year another child their age moved in the neighborhood (all the way from Columbia) and he's just a complete precious boy who fits RIGHT in. So we feel very very fortunate. I just marvel at our good luck in this respect. Sometimes neighborhood kids can be entirely NOT worth the trouble, so I think we are just especially blessed. My kids do a lot of activities. One plays tennis almost daily, the other is on a swim team. They have done cubscouts, we have a homeschool group, and they study violin. While they have friendly relations with other kids from these activities, no true friendships have bloomed. Likewise, we have friends from church but not really deep and abiding friendships - just kids that they are content to hang out with. But your son is young. At 7, I would be pretty happy with just having kids who were okay to hang out with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 This is one thing we struggle with. We are fortunate that there are plenty of kids on the block for playing. My children attended school for a few years so most of their friends are from school. I do know what you are talking about with the connection. I am finding that my kids have a lot of acquaintances. We started an Earth Scout chapter by us and now that it has been a number of months I am finding the kids are starting to form friendships. One of the things that makes fast friends is being together a lot and sharing experiences. In school, 5 days a week you are in the same classroom with the same teacher and the same kids. You do everything together. Gym, art, music, etc. all the time with the same kids. Friendships are formed quicker. I am finding it challenging to foster that kind of environment at home. But, the friendships are coming. Seeing the same kids weekly in gym class, and swim class, and homeschool classes at museums, and outings with our homeschool group. Slowly but surely the friendships are forming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 We haven't tried scouts, but it's next on my list even though I don't want to do it. Where else should I look and get involved in that could bring about some connecting for my kids' sake? Summer is coming and we tend to have less playdates then with people traveling. In fact, I am considering spending the summer with family and going camping a lot to not be home and distract the kids from the fact it's just us most days. I will say there are 3 houses across the street with boys my son's age. they are never outside. and when they are, they are often mean or avoid playing with us at all. Is it possible us being homeschoolers is the issue? Are the parents telling their kids to avoid us? ( Well, to your second blurb above, all I can say is, quality over quantity, any day.... we have the same types of issues with neighbor kids. As far as scouts, we just signed dsnear12 up to begin April 1st. It will involve a lot of time on the part of dh, but we feel it is going to be a worthy investment of time and funds. He will also this week begin guitar lessons. We opted for group lessons over private primarily for the opportunity for him to make some new friends who share his musical interests. We have relocated pretty often, and that has been tough on friendships (mine, too, not just the kids!). At 2 years, you are at about the mark where things seem to get better, at least that's been our experience. I will say that it has taken some concerted efforts on my part as mom, and we have, for the kids' benefit, become involved in some things we might otherwise have passed on. We have been here 16 months and since friendships haven't developed well in the neighborhood (as they did in our old one), we have decided to just bite the bullet - in terms of both time and money - to get the kids involved in what interests them. DS14 is *loving* his co-op this year, and has filled his social needs with classmates and student council activities. He also has been invited to join the local Christian school's football team next season and he is very much looking forward to it. DDnear12 has become part of a theater company, that's been great. It involves a ton of volunteering on the parent's part, but again, we feel it is worth it to give dd a sense of place. DD4, well, she's just along for the ride as far as extracurriculars! But I will say that we have recently made a swap in churches based on her social needs. For us, we teach doctrine at home through the week, so in addition to corporate worship, church - for our family - really is a social thing. Give us two churches that teach Biblical truth and a worship style that we feel we can participate in, and we will choose the one that gives us the greater opportunity for social interaction. It is important to have not only friendships, but friendships with those who are spiritually like-minded. What you choose to do will vary with your interests. For us -- and we know other families are on the polar opposite of opinions -- we are prepared with designated funds, lots of vitamins, and good running shoes to keep up with this flurry of activity. If you can find ONE thing that EVERY family member can be involved in, that would be great. How about a martial arts class? That way you are all operating on the same schedule? Just a thought. HTH, and that you are feeling at home soon. I empathize with what you are feeling, it's not fun, but it doesn't have to last forever! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avila Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 I have tried a co-op, a church that was 30 minutes away, 3 different homeschool groups, 2 different PE classes and countless field trips. What really works for us is the homeschool PE class at our YMCA. Honestly, I think it works because of the sheer number of kids there, and because the YMCA is responsible for setting it up, so it is very stable as far as place and time goes. We liked the other activities, but we had trouble making real connections and then being able to see the same people often enough to really make friends. I guess my question to you is if it is you feeling that way or your kids. I know I can obsess over this, but my kids are fairly happy with things how they are. Sometimes I think we can get hung up on what we think is enough for socialization or friends, and we can lose what we really have and what is working. It also depends on the personalities involved. Many people even in a large class will only have one or two real friends. Other kids are just happy having things to do and nice people to see; the real friendships as we think about them will come later when they are more mature and ready for them. I think if you focus on a few things that your kids really like and want to do, they will find the friends they really need. They may not have large numbers of them, but the ones they have will really be friends who have the same interests and values, and not just acquaintances. At this point, I would focus on what you and they want to be doing, and only worry about seeing specific people if you kids seem to be specifically asking for that on a consistent basis or if you happen to stumble on something you just know is right. Good luck and God bless. I really think this is the hardest part of homeschooling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in TX Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 My oldest, dd14, is an introvert like me. Her best friends are her two cousins, and she is quite happy with that. (We are blessed with a lot of extended family near us.) She did not have particularly close friends when she was in school (thru 4th grade) and she hates "activities." She's a nice girl who gets along well with everyone she encounters, but is perfectly happy without a large social circle. Dd11 is an extrovert to the max--cannot get enough activities and makes friends wherever she goes. She has two good friends from her chess club, she plays frequently with the very nice boy her age next door, and she's very close to her cousin (who doesn't live near us, but they phone & write a lot). My boys are younger (8 & 5). Their best friends are one cousin and the above mentioned boy next door and his younger brother. Ds8 is also friendly with the boys in his scout troop, but doesn't really see them outside of meetings. Two thoughts. One--we are unusually fortunate to have both a large, close-knit extended family, and a great family next door. I think we'd be hurting for friends otherwise. Two--a lot depends on the child's personality type. My introvert doesn't have a lot of "friends," nor does she want them. My extrovert will find them anywhere she gets the opportunity to go, kwim? The boys are young yet, but so far family and the boys next door are enough for them. :o) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted March 23, 2009 Author Share Posted March 23, 2009 I guess my question to you is if it is you feeling that way or your kids. I felt things were ok. My kids have been asking more and more about getting together with friends. I ask who and they just stare at me and shrug their shoulders. It's like they want something new and fresh. But they also ask about old friends from 2 years ago....who live only 45 min away....but it was a different season in life. Then I get grief over why we moved out here, etc. So today it's all my issues about how to make it better, but it stemmed from their asking over and over who they can play with. I want to say that I don't think playdates should be daily. And I am not encouraging that with them at all! But once a week would be nice...and if we have a handful of friends then it would work out that way you know? But all year it's been one a month. other than one family we see often in short time periods. My dd desperately wants a sleepover. She could care less WHO, she just wants a sleepover! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazakaal Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 No real advice, but lots of sympathy. We've been here for 8 years and it's taken this long to make some good friends. And even at that my youngest doesn't have any friends. We also have a small church, and, though we've been friendly with those kids, everyone is so busy with school events that we've never been able to see them a lot outside of church. There are no kids in our neighborhood. They've not found good friends at the homeschool group. My dd has finally clicked with a couple of girls - one from church, and one that she used to go to preschool with. My ds's have finally made friends in the water surfing. They now have a little group of boys they hang out with. It is so hard to see the kids have a hard time with making friends. :grouphug: Hope you can find friends soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avila Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I wish you all lived here! My 5yo DD would love to have a sleepover with her! Is there anyone among the people you have met that you feel like you could make more of an effort with? Sometimes asking what things people you or the kids like are involved in can help you decide what else it might be worth doing, even if it is just to see the same people again more frequently. Or if you can find out exactly what your kids think they are missing, maybe you can work on that specifically. Like with the sleepover, maybe you could just ask one of the girls DD does see to sleep at your house, and then they could reciprocate? Maybe if your organized something, it would be easier to keep going after that? Or maybe the kids could try something new out? Mine look at the YMCA catalog and each get to choose an activity, and that seems to help keep things fresh with us. I just think this stuff is the most frustrating part of homeschooling for us. It helps to remember that you can be just as lonely in a room full of other kids, but I don't think that always helps at the right moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschool_mom Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Co-op and church are the two biggest places we find friends. Some friends are from networking with other homeschoolers—intentionally seeking out people who have similar interests. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Our homeschooling support group (not co op) has been their major source of friends, albeit indirectly. Through the support group, we have formed clubs around academic areas and outside interests. It is through these clubs, that they have found friends. The small size and similar interest has allowed the kids to get to know each other and develop bonds. In many cases, I had to arrange some one-on-one activities with other kids to encourage interaction. We are really struggling with my middle son because he really does not have friends other than his big brother. He doesn't like large group situations (the noise combined with his auditory processing issues.) He has always liked kids who are older than him, but they do not always reciprocate. He always found kids his age to be immature. I have started many things for him over the years, but he has not found his niche. We are still trying. I wish it was the neighborhood, but there really are not kids close in age to my kids, mostly older than mine. Although we have done sports and scouts with many of the same families, my kids just didn't click with theirs. Perhaps it was because these have been larger groups and many of these kids already had school in common, combined with the fact that my boys are on the shy side - but we did not form friendships through this. The exception to this is my daughter. She is one of those rare birds who can make friends with just about anyone instantly. She joined brownies at our church school last year and fit right in to this group of 20+ girls who all go to that school and had been together in that troop for 2 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendi Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 I know how you feel. We moved to this area six years ago. We love our church, but it's fairly small, and although there are TONS of little kids, the middle school group consists of my ds and three girls. (There were a few other boys, but they've moved.) He does have one close buddy at church, who is 10yo (my ds is 12). One friend who used to go to our church now lives 45 min. away and goes to school; we try to get them together when possible, but it only works out about every two months. The kids on our street are younger; he does play outside with them, ride bikes, etc. We have found that so far, most of the "friends" he makes in group activities don't become longterm friends. However, he still has a friend whom we met a few years ago at a historical reenactment. And he seems to be making friends with a boy in his theatre group, so I've asked the mom if they can get together. They've been emailing each other, and already have plans for a garage band in a couple of years (ds is now learning to play guitar; the other boy is learning bass, and the boy from church plays drums a little). It is hard for ds. He's VERY social, and being an only child is hard. The theatre group has been good, and he's in a youth choir at our church now with middle school and high school kids (again, though, mostly girls). Sometimes it makes me sad that our family lives across the country. I have three nephews that ds would LOVE to see often. Wendi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 All of the above. ds has one good friend from each: the neighborhood swimming coop church dd has one good friend from each: the neighborhood (lots of casual friends, but one main one) swimming sister of her brother's friend old private school friend coop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 My kids haven't been too lucky in making friends in the last two places we have lived. We just moved three months ago so I am not too surprised by that one. In the last place, where we lived for two and a half years, my younger made some friends who she still is keeping in contact by karate and by homeschooling coops and activities. The older had acquantainces she spoke with at youth group but not really friends. Here we haven't be able to join a homeschooling group with the right ages of kids yet. Co-ops near us where closed to new registrants, and I haven't found other groups. Our neighborhood may be a possibility but we will better find out once the pool opens. None of the neighborhoods that we have lived in since 1999 have had any friends for them to play with. We now have one girl near us whom they have talked to a few times but her parents both work and she isn't home much. Now that the wather may get warmer, I am a bit more hopeful though except for the one girl, children on our street seem to be boys or toddlers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica in PA Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 We have lived in this area for 4.5 years now. We have been in our current city for almost 2 years. We play sports in the same league, kids attend Awanas, participate in a homeschool PE class weekly and try to do playdates with friends in nearby cities at least once a month to keep contact. Our church is SMALL and not a resource for kids. (there are only 4 kids I know of and I have 2 of them, lol) Church has been our best place to make friends, both for us and for our friends. We are blessed to have found a church four years ago where there are many couples our age, with children our kids' ages. Our kids have so many friends there that our only concern is making time and effort to also make friends outside of church! After having this experience, finding a church with many children would be a priority for me, because it has been so wonderful. I would have a very hard time attending church where my dc had no friends. The only other place where my kids have been consistently able to make friends has been though homeschool co-ops. Even though we've participated in lots of different activities over the years (sports, music classes, library activities, art classes, AWANA, etc.), my kids haven't been able to really connect enough with the kids in those activities to form lasting relationships. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntPol Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 For me, I think my kids make friends easier if I connect with the mother. When we are out and about in the homeschool circle, I would say that about 50% of the moms I meet are very reclusive and not open to starting friendships. When I was an afterschooler, I could hardly get a homeschooling mom to talk to me at all unless we were in Scouts together. Now, I still struggle making friends with the other moms. I think homeschooling may just attract very introverted women. Back to original question. I think that it's not so much the actual activity but boils down to a) does it allow you to talk with the other moms and b) how many activities do you do with the other children. Our chances of getting a playdate are higher if we have multiple activities together. **Sports have been the worst for meeting friends for us whether we homeschooled or government schooled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 We're in the same situation only we've lived here for 10 years. There are no kids on our block except us. I don't feel our neighborhood is safe enough to allow the kids off our street; even on our street I'm nervous about letting them go outside without direct supervision. We do know, and play with, one family two blocks away. We're no currently involved in a church. We attended one for about 8 years but didn't form any relationships. We got tired of driving 30 minutes each way and feeling alone in a huge congregation so we quit going. We've been attending, off and on, a church nearby but only because our kids want to see their friends (the family 2 blocks away). DH and I don't care for the church; we sit in the mezzanine and relax because the sanctuary is too ear-shattering loud at attend the actual service. My DS has been involved in taekwondo for over a year. He likes some of the other kids but only sees them in class. DD isn't involved in anything this year. We did tons of activities last year and burned out before we met friends....so that didn't work either. It bothers me. My DD is an extrovert like I am so I understand that she needs more. DS doesn't have a single friend of his own; he plays with DD's friends (ie. that family 2 blocks away). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 (edited) We have no neighbours to speak of, as we're out on a farm. The closest farmyard is a mile and half away and there is a very sweet girl there who is ds's "#1 pal." They will bike to each other's place about once a week or so. In the nearby town, we've seen that sports isn't the best place for making friends around here. I know it's different elsewhere, but we've not found local sports to be a "friendly" place. Very competitive and non-cooperative. The parents making it even worse, IMO. 4-H on the other hand has been fantastic. There is a local Club which has kids of all ages. All the kids get along very well, and the older and younger kids all call each other friends AND treat each other like friends. It's really nice to see. In the sub-groups (like for small animals, or cooking, etc) ds has found a couple of really decent friends. I think the fact that they are doing something together -- something relatively cooperative and non-competitive -- is what helps to foster a real sense of friendship. Just our experience... Edited March 24, 2009 by Audrey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeannie in NJ Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 church is the only place that my dd has friends. We actually left our old church because she had no friends there (among other reasons that we left). The year before we left that church, dd had started going to the Sunday night youth group for jr. high at another church and was starting to get to know the kids there so when we were looking for a new church, she asked us to try the Sunday morning worship service and now we attend that church. DD, age 14, has now gone on several retreats with the youth group and this Wed. she is cooking dinner for youth group (all the teens take turns making dinner). Prior to her becoming a teen we has always attended homeschool co-ops but they were fairly far away so friendships did not really develop there. So for us, church youth group has been the answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel in KY Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 My boy is an only child and we live in the county, so this has been a particular struggle of ours. We started in Cub Scouts in first grade and have just transitioned over to Boy Scouts with four of the boys that we met all those years ago. For the last two years, we've been very active in a co-op and that has greatly expanded his friend base, with two boys in particular that he's close to, both physically (location) and emotionally. Several of the boys in Scouts are also in his church circle, so it's nice to have consistancy in his social life! Rachel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katemary63 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 (edited) I don't have time to read all the other posts so I have no idea what others have said. I will give you the thoughts that come to my mind. I think this is everyone....with few exceptions. People are just so busy now days. It takes crazy effort or a perfect match with another family to have lots of friends or get togethers. Don't take it personally most of the time. It's not you...it's just other people's busy lives. My advice...JOIN 4-H!!! 4-H is a homeschooling mom's dream! You can make ANYTHING you do in 4-H part of your school so it's not like adding more work. It's fun. You find kids with your same interests. You can do projects with other kids. You have opportunities for community service and public speaking built into the program. It is just so great I can't tell. you. I don't know why more people aren't in 4-H. They are missing a fantastic resourse for growth, leadership, learning and fellowship with great people. There are even scholarships available to 4-Hers. Here are some of the fun things my kids do in 4-H -Make art or crafts during the year and enter them in the county and state fair. -Take photographs during the year and enter them in the county and state fairs. -Enter baked goods in the county fair. -Enter garden produce in the coutny fair. -Show their animals at county and state fair. ( you get MONEY for all these things you enter, my kids earn hundreds of dollars every year!) -Help with the county chicken dinner fund raiser - delivering dinners to local businesses -Enter county, district and state O'rama ( 4-H competition) - competing in singing, dance, speech, bicycle riding, bait casting, beebee shooting, fashion show and more. ( my 8 year old will be singing a solo for the second year in a row and giving a speech on animal science) -Enter a recipe in the Dairy Foods recipe contest ( We have a big feast after the judging! fun, fun day!) - learn how to BBQ chicken on a charcoal grill ( attend a workshop where they teach you how) and enter chicken grilling contest. ( we all get to eat the chicken when the contest is over!) -volenteered to serve a meal to the entire platoon of Army reservists that were returned from a tour in Iraq. ( Our club did it as a community service project. The whole town was there. Mayor gave a speach etc. It was an amazing day we would have missed if we weren't in 4-H) - ride or hike for St. Jude Children's hospital - Participate on the 4-H hike for life team - Adopt a mile highway clean up -decorate a community christmas tree in the town square -ride horses or the 4-H float in local parades - several every year! - put on petting zoos at local festivals - volunteer to man the snack booth at Valleyfest for Boys and Girls Club - attend camps ( partially paid for by county council) of all kinds including hiking the back country in New Mexico, riding camp, leadership camps, etc. - attend workshops in any and all subject areas were the kids have interest. - study and research in thier special area of interest as part of thier project. - too much more to list it all. In addition, 4-H is NOT JUST FOR RURAL KIDS WITH ANIMALS! Our county is "podunk" and we have technology club, botball ( robot building contests, our team won state and went to HAWAII for nationals !!) and many, many subjects of interest to any kid. I know other, bigger city counties have even more available. Basically, if you are interested in a subject, it can be a 4-H project. Sorry to go on and on - but hey, maybe someone will give it a try. ALL my kids best friends are through 4-H. We just have so much in common. School ( even homeschool ) friends.....not always. Edited March 24, 2009 by katemary63 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starwarsmomma Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 SCOUTS!!! They really get close in scouts. Also, the homeschool groups locally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katemary63 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 4-H on the other hand has been fantastic. There is a local Club which has kids of all ages. All the kids get along very well, and the older and younger kids all call each other friends AND treat each other like friends. It's really nice to see. In the sub-groups (like for small animals, or cooking, etc) ds has found a couple of really decent friends. I think the fact that they are doing something together -- something relatively cooperative and non-competitive -- is what helps to foster a real sense of friendship. Just our experience... I just found this post! I'm so excited someone else mentioned 4-H! And this factor - that all the kids, no matter what age, consider each other friends - is very typical of the 4-H experience. Our council puts on a "dance" on Friday night of the county fair. All 4-Hers are invited, not just the ones who have entered something in the fair. The entrance fee to the dance is a canned good for our local food pantry. The ages of the kids are 19 to 5 plus preschool siblings ( with lots of parents too). Now, you wouldn't think that a "dance" attended by teenagers would be appropriate for preschoolers would you? But in 4-H it is! The littles ride the shoes of the bigs! EVERYBODY dances, with each other, parents too. It is some of the best, most wholesome fun I have ever had in my life. And NO ONE feels left out or uncool! It's just great family fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted March 24, 2009 Author Share Posted March 24, 2009 Thank you for sharing. We are making plans to invite some more people over, to join a co-op, and focus on making quality friends :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 I just found this post! I'm so excited someone else mentioned 4-H! And this factor - that all the kids, no matter what age, consider each other friends - is very typical of the 4-H experience. Our council puts on a "dance" on Friday night of the county fair. All 4-Hers are invited, not just the ones who have entered something in the fair. The entrance fee to the dance is a canned good for our local food pantry. The ages of the kids are 19 to 5 plus preschool siblings ( with lots of parents too). Now, you wouldn't think that a "dance" attended by teenagers would be appropriate for preschoolers would you? But in 4-H it is! The littles ride the shoes of the bigs! EVERYBODY dances, with each other, parents too. It is some of the best, most wholesome fun I have ever had in my life. And NO ONE feels left out or uncool! It's just great family fun! Yea! I really love 4-H too. Here, they have a communications component that they do as the whole club. You don't HAVE to do a speech/presentation, but they all encourage each other so well. Ds, who has a stuttering problem when he's excited or nervous, did a speech this year. He won 2nd in his category! I was so proud of him. He was proud of himself and the others in the club were such a great cheerleading squad for him. Practicing with the others has helped him come a LOOOOOOOONG way with speaking and even done away with most of the stuttering. Those kids are just great kids. I couldn't thank them enough if I tried. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary in MN Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 DH and I have had a painful time this year watching our ds 13, whose buddy suddenly no longer wants to hang out with him. We live in a small town and while ds is involved in many activities, even goes to school part time and has no trouble getting along with kids at school, sports, etc, he just really wants someone to hang out with, especially on week-ends. Meanness is a huge problem too--ds has lots of self-confidence and doesn't let mean-spirited kids get to him, but he's lonely. My younger son and daughter have more friends than they know what to do with. We're actually considering sending ds to boarding school just to get him around kids who are more like him! So no advice here...but I feel your pain. Sigh...adolescence, thankfully, does not last forever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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