Popular Post Mrs Tiggywinkle Again Posted February 23 Popular Post Share Posted February 23 I’m speaking at a work related conference this weekend. In fact, I’m a keynote. I’m also—i don’t know how to say it so take it as it is—kind of very well known in my professional circles right now on a state and national basis—especially state level politics— for reasons other than speaking. It’s not as great as it sounds but I have to set up this story. In any case, at this conference, a guy came up to me just gushing about how great I am(I’m not) and handing me his card. I gathered he lives within driving distance of my college program that I’ve just doubled in size and he knows I’m hiring part time instructors. He went on and on about his credentials and what an honor it would be to work for me. What he doesn’t know is that he doesn’t recognize me. 16 years ago, I was a terrified, green, naive, fresh out of school young woman in a male dominated industry, and he was the training director at the only place that would hire me with so little experience. He told me my second day that I was too stupid for the job. And then spent months belittling and bullying me until I quit. It damaged my self esteem professionally for years. But I’m married, have a different last name, got some experience and became well known in my field. He doesn’t recognize me at all. I won’t be hiring him. But I am enjoying karma, just a little bit, tonight. 34 6 21 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 Or he might actually remember you and thinks he's so great. Be thankful that he has already shown you who he is so you won't ever make the mistake of working with him. Either way, I'm with you on karma. Savor the moment. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 If I knew people he knows, I'd let them tell him why he wasn't hired. 😝 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 3 minutes ago, Harriet Vane said: Or he might actually remember you and thinks he's so great. My dad’s brother behaves like the person. He can belittle and flatter the same person depending on his needs. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Tiggywinkle Again Posted February 23 Author Share Posted February 23 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Harriet Vane said: Or he might actually remember you and thinks he's so great. Be thankful that he has already shown you who he is so you won't ever make the mistake of working with him. Either way, I'm with you on karma. Savor the moment. I spoke with him a while and he clearly doesn’t remember me at all—like he told me he was training director at X company for X number of years, and he introduced himself to me saying he’s been looking forward to meeting me since he saw i was the keynote. He’s older and possibly has a touch of dementia, but mostly I think he was such a jerk to all women that someone who worked there 16 years ago for three months isn’t even a foggiest memory to him. Plus I married after I left there and so have a different last name. He very clearly has no idea that I know him or ever worked for that company. Edited February 23 by Mrs Tiggywinkle Again 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 Aw, sweet karma. 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 Love it! I hate that he hurt you so much though. I can relate. A belittling boss can do so much damage, and for what? 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indigo Blue Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 Maybe you could have told him he’s too stupid for the job and that would have jogged his memory? No, I don’t really mean that, but I just had to say it for my satisfaction. I love this story. You are awesome. 3 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Tiggywinkle Again Posted February 23 Author Share Posted February 23 57 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said: Maybe you could have told him he’s too stupid for the job and that would have jogged his memory? No, I don’t really mean that, but I just had to say it for my satisfaction. I love this story. You are awesome. I will take the high road but I definitely thought it lol. I guess the moral is be nice to people because you never know who they’re going to become. 15 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indigo Blue Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 2 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said: I will take the high road but I definitely thought it lol. I guess the moral is be nice to people because you never know who they’re going to become. I agree with you! But just between us….we know the truth….and that is, he is not competent enough for that job because of his past history of mistreatment and abuse to others. And you were the one who got to make that decision. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaybee Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 2 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said: I will take the high road but I definitely thought it lol. I guess the moral is be nice to people because you never know who they’re going to become. I don't know how to do it and still take the high road--for one thing, that is just being professional! But it would also be good if somehow he could find out the history there. Wouldn't want to squeeze him and watch the poison come out again, or become unprofessional and vindictive. But...it would just be so good to let him see the connections by perhaps a clear and direct statement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 26 minutes ago, Jaybee said: I don't know how to do it and still take the high road--for one thing, that is just being professional! But it would also be good if somehow he could find out the history there. Wouldn't want to squeeze him and watch the poison come out again, or become unprofessional and vindictive. But...it would just be so good to let him see the connections by perhaps a clear and direct statement. I think people who are habitually harsh and cruel to others are often incapable of making connections like this. You have to be able to genuinely understand that other people are as real as you, with as much worth as you and as much capacity to be hurt as you, to understand how you have hurt and wronged them. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 1 hour ago, Jaybee said: I don't know how to do it and still take the high road--for one thing, that is just being professional! But it would also be good if somehow he could find out the history there. Wouldn't want to squeeze him and watch the poison come out again, or become unprofessional and vindictive. But...it would just be so good to let him see the connections by perhaps a clear and direct statement. He wouldn't be humble about it though. Idiots are never wrong. He might even start spreading crap about her past. Best to just chuckle and move on IMO. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Tiggywinkle Again Posted February 23 Author Share Posted February 23 44 minutes ago, SKL said: He wouldn't be humble about it though. Idiots are never wrong. He might even start spreading crap about her past. Best to just chuckle and move on IMO. Fortunately he is no longer in any position of authority anywhere and no one listens to him. His reputation precedes him. As does mine. 9 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinball Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 13 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said: I’m speaking at a work related conference this weekend. In fact, I’m a keynote. I’m also—i don’t know how to say it so take it as it is—kind of very well known in my professional circles right now on a state and national basis—especially state level politics— for reasons other than speaking. It’s not as great as it sounds but I have to set up this story. In any case, at this conference, a guy came up to me just gushing about how great I am(I’m not) and handing me his card. I gathered he lives within driving distance of my college program that I’ve just doubled in size and he knows I’m hiring part time instructors. He went on and on about his credentials and what an honor it would be to work for me. What he doesn’t know is that he doesn’t recognize me. 16 years ago, I was a terrified, green, naive, fresh out of school young woman in a male dominated industry, and he was the training director at the only place that would hire me with so little experience. He told me my second day that I was too stupid for the job. And then spent months belittling and bullying me until I quit. It damaged my self esteem professionally for years. But I’m married, have a different last name, got some experience and became well known in my field. He doesn’t recognize me at all. I won’t be hiring him. But I am enjoying karma, just a little bit, tonight. I’m stunned you are well enough to go anywhere considering you were septic 2 weeks ago. im hoping you’re not pushing yourself too hard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Tiggywinkle Again Posted February 23 Author Share Posted February 23 4 hours ago, pinball said: I’m stunned you are well enough to go anywhere considering you were septic 2 weeks ago. im hoping you’re not pushing yourself too hard It’s a job requirement. Conferences are fairly easy though. I just sit lol. Or stand if I’m speaking. And other people make lunch and dinner. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 12 Share Posted March 12 (edited) wow. i could see the desire to mention "oh, I started my career there". - and leave it at that. maybe he'll figure it out, maybe he won't. but it could be fun to allow him to stew. Maybe he's grown up, maybe he hasn't. but I can also see the not wanting to find out what he'd do if he figured it out that he screwed himself. Probably he hasn't changed, and that's *why* he's looking for another job . . . . yeah - I saw your update. he hasn't figured out he is his problem. Edited March 12 by gardenmom5 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Tiggywinkle Again Posted March 12 Author Share Posted March 12 He hasn’t sent in his application. I mentioned the whole thing to a mutual friend who might have said something. Or he just forgot. It did make me feel good though, whether that’s the right thing to feel or not. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 12 Share Posted March 12 I recently watched "A Million Miles Away". (it's on amazon.) About the first Latino astronaut, who started life as the child of migrant farm workers. There's a scene where he starts his first job (after college) at Lawrance Livermore and one jerky engineer who is . . racist? bullies? - anyway. he's a complete jerk. - he later ends up as the guy's boss. (because he's a better engineer than the jerk.) He went on to develop his skills, incl. learning Russian, becoming a private pilot, and certified diver because they'd look good on a NASA application. (and those were the types of skills applicants had that were accepted into the program) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El... Posted March 12 Share Posted March 12 17 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said: I recently watched "A Million Miles Away". (it's on amazon.) About the first Latino astronaut, who started life as the child of migrant farm workers. There's a scene where he starts his first job (after college) at Lawrance Livermore and one jerky engineer who is . . racist? bullies? - anyway. he's a complete jerk. - he later ends up as the guy's boss. (because he's a better engineer than the jerk.) He went on to develop his skills, incl. learning Russian, becoming a private pilot, and certified diver because they'd look good on a NASA application. (and those were the types of skills applicants had that were accepted into the program) I'm going to look that up!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.