Homeschooled Kids, Schooled Kids, and Boredom

[Haiku]

I have noticed that my 14 year old, who goes to school, doesn't seem very well able to entertain herself and complains frequently of being bored. This morning, she got up and did her chores, watched a movie, and then immediately started to complain the she was bored. This is a common occurrence. She usually does ok on the weekdays, because by the time she gets home, does her chores, and finishes her homework, it's dinnertime, and after dinner she plays with the little kids or we do something as a family. But on weekends and school holidays, she gets bored almost immediately.

 

My little kids, who have always been homeschooled, rarely if ever complain of boredom (although my son will complain if he's home without his sisters that he has "no one to play with").

 

Is this a schooled thing? Is it an age thing? Is it a personality thing? Is it (as I suspect) a combination of those things? What have other people with schooled and homeschooled kids observed?

 

Tara

[Melinda in VT]

My oldest was homeschooled for one year. My twins have been in public school since pre-K. My oldest and one twin thrive with lots of unstructured time. The other twin can drive me crazy with one unscheduled half hour.

 

I vote for personality.

[Plucky]

I think it's personality, too. But I fix it by assigning chores. No boredome here or if there is I don't ever hear about it. LOL

[Haiku]

Yeah, with my daughter, I always offer her something to do ... helping out around the house. Sometimes she takes me up on it, and sometimes she doesn't, but she stops complaining of boredom after I offer the chores. ;)

 

Tara

[Kris]

Is this a schooled thing? Is it an age thing? Is it a personality thing? Is it (as I suspect) a combination of those things? What have other people with schooled and homeschooled kids observed?

 

I know I wasn't bored on the weekends -- Way Back When. I always had homework on the weekends! :lol:

 

And I don't know if my son is bored -- if he is, he's not mentioning it. I have a habit of "helping" him find things to do. :D

[Jen500]

My boys went to public school for 2 1/2 yrs. They were 'bored' several times a week. They've only been bored once in our past year of homeschooling.

[Daisy]

It may be personality but I do notice that the public schooled kids I come in contact with seem to be bored more often. And they tend to think that the activities my kids like are "dumb." My Dh notices this also. He can do something with our kids at home and think, "Yeh, this would be great in the classroom," and later discover that his first graders all think it is hokey and "dumb." Grrrr. It's like these kids' default setting is, "This is dumb," or "I'm bored," or "Do I have to?"

 

Maybe it has to do with screens? We don't use them. So all our activities are devoid of technology and maybe that appears hokey and boring to these kids. I don't know. I don't get it.

 

My kids never say they are bored. Course if they did, I'd put them to work with a mile-long chore list.

[Haiku]

And they tend to think that the activities my kids like are "dumb."

 

I have noticed this too. My son has a bunch of wooden cars that his great-grandfather made for him. The girl next door, who is also six, said to him, "What are you playing with?" and he told her it was a car. She asked where the track was, and he said he didn't have one. She asked what the car did, and he looked at her kinda-of strangely and said, "It drives." She said, "Doesn't it make noise or light uup or something?" My son said no, and the neighbor girl said, "That's boring."

 

I have noticed that it takes a lot less to excite my little kids than it seems to take to excite more "socially savvy" (which I would call "prematurely worldly" kids their age."

 

Tara

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

I have noticed that my 14 year old, who goes to school, doesn't seem very well able to entertain herself and complains frequently of being bored. This morning, she got up and did her chores, watched a movie, and then immediately started to complain the she was bored. This is a common occurrence. She usually does ok on the weekdays, because by the time she gets home, does her chores, and finishes her homework, it's dinnertime, and after dinner she plays with the little kids or we do something as a family. But on weekends and school holidays, she gets bored almost immediately.

 

My little kids, who have always been homeschooled, rarely if ever complain of boredom (although my son will complain if he's home without his sisters that he has "no one to play with").

 

Is this a schooled thing? Is it an age thing? Is it a personality thing? Is it (as I suspect) a combination of those things? What have other people with schooled and homeschooled kids observed?

 

Tara

 

Mmm, no, my kids are all schooled now, but to complain of boredom in my house nets you, um, certain "activities" that will assure you of a lack of boredom for at least two hours. Not as punishment, mind you, but if you can't figure out for yourself what to do without COMPLAINING about that fact, or if you can't just simply revel in the fact that you can goof off for awhile because there are no obligations calling your, then you clearly need guidance. And if I have to waste brainpower guiding a grown kid's leisure activities, then that expenditure of brainpower is jolly well going to benefit me.

 

And maybe next time, they will think twice about complaining about boredom and figure out their own leisure activities without me.

[kewb]

My kids may get bored but they don't tell me about it. My solution usually involves housework.

[Haiku]

And maybe next time, they will think twice about complaining about boredom and figure out their own leisure activities without me.

 

I get what you are saying, and I offer my bored kid the choice of me finding something for her to do or finding herself something to do, but my question was more about whether kids who are schooled seem to have a harder time entertaining themselves. After all, a kid can be bored without ever saying anything about it, and we have probably all seen kids whom we know are bored even though they haven't verbalized it.

 

Does that make sense?

 

Tara

[kewb]

The school vs non school question-I think it has more to do with personality

[Pamela H in Texas]

Is this a schooled thing? Is it an age thing? Is it a personality thing? Is it (as I suspect) a combination of those things? What have other people with schooled and homeschooled kids observed?

 

It's probably mostly a personality and schedule thing, I would guess.

 

The character part can be dealt with logically enough. You can work together to come up with a list of things she can do when she "can't think of anything to do." And if none of that floats her boat, she can help you with something. There is really nothing wrong with being bored, btw, it's the fussing about it that is problematic.

 

Schedule wise, many high schoolers have a pretty full load. Is she lacking in community service? Does she need a job? Is she studying what she needs to be enough? Is she following interests? Does she have extra-curricular activities? Maybe find out where holes are and fill those a little (some down time, of course, is necessary).

 

JMO :)

[WTMCassandra]

I have noticed that it takes a lot less to excite my little kids than it seems to take to excite more "socially savvy" (which I would call "prematurely worldly" kids their age."

 

 

:iagree:

 

I still see this with my children at 12 and 10. Honestly, I don't think I have ever heard them say they are bored. (Ducking and running.)

[Haiku]

Is she lacking in community service? Does she need a job? Is she studying what she needs to be enough? Is she following interests? Does she have extra-curricular activities? Maybe find out where holes are and fill those a little (some down time, of course, is necessary).

 

 

I'm not actually worried about her boredom. She has studying and extracurriculars and chores and community service. She's far too immature to get a job. My point (which perhaps I am not getting across well enough, or maybe people aren't reading far enough to see me reiterate) is that, as soon as she doesn't have one of those things filling her time, she gets "bored." She's unable to entertain herself. I wondered whether that's a schooled-kid trait, a personality trait, an age factor, or all of the above. I'm not asking for suggestions to help her, because I think being bored is a valuable opportunity. I was just wondering whether kids who are more used to being told what to do all day in school have a harder time managing their own independent time.

 

Tara

[Zelda]

I was just wondering whether kids who are more used to being told what to do all day in school have a harder time managing their own independent time.

 

Tara

 

Its an interesting idea. I think there might be something to it. My kids are all home schooled now but my older daughter went to public school for three years. I will have to try to remember if there was a difference. I do know that I complained of boredom far more than my kids ever did. I was public schooled.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

I get what you are saying, and I offer my bored kid the choice of me finding something for her to do or finding herself something to do, but my question was more about whether kids who are schooled seem to have a harder time entertaining themselves. After all, a kid can be bored without ever saying anything about it, and we have probably all seen kids whom we know are bored even though they haven't verbalized it.

 

Does that make sense?

 

Tara

 

I guess my answer is that no, I haven't seen my own institutionally-schooled children being any more bored than when they were home schooled. And their cousins, who have always been institutionally-schooled have never given any indication of boredom that I've ever seen.

[joannqn]

I was just wondering whether kids who are more used to being told what to do all day in school have a harder time managing their own independent time.Tara

 

It sounds like a reasonable possibility to me that, perhaps, some kids are better at dealing with than others.

 

I know a homeschool family a few blocks away. She's right next to the elementary school with lots of kids on the block. She regularly says she likes her kids to play with mine because they still know how to imagine and pretend. She says that the public school kids they know just want to "hang out". She sees a huge difference in the way that they play. Maybe that is part of it?

[katilac]

I do think that schooled kids, as a group, are far less likely to take initiative on activities than home schooled kids, simply because having their activities and time doled out for them is par for the course. That's certainly been my experience ((although let me point out that I'm well aware that there are hs'd kids who who don't take initiative, and schooled kids who do).

 

I first noticed it when I babysat the kids of various cousins, when they would have the odd day off of school. Boy or girl, younger or older, they just didn't know what to do with themselves without planned activities or screen time. They would settle down to a game or activity well enough if I got them started, but when it ended, I knew I would hear, "what should we do now?"

 

Personality entered into it in the way they expressed it - some just politely yet persistently asked how to fill their time, while others complained of boredom or pointed out that my house wasn't very interesting, :D. But the idea of making their own decisions and filling their own time was just very foreign to all of them.

 

Years later, my kids have a mix of friends, other home schoolers plus various neighbor kids and relatives who go to school. It still seems to hold true, although again, of course not for every single kid. Some school kids have open time and the freedom to manage it, while others go from school to aftercare to tae kwon do, with camps for every holiday and summer break. You can't learn to manage your free time if you never have any.

[Snickerdoodle]

I was just listening to a youtube of John Taylor Gatto where he was addressing this very thing.

 

[BusyMum]

My seven year old complains a lot less of being bored now than he did when he was at school. I figured its because when he was at school I often relied on the TV and his toys to entertain him. Now I have cupboards and shelves full of books and activities. Plus he is reading independently now which makes a HUGE difference.

 

His favourite activity at the moment is to read through a book called '101 TV-free activities for kids' and pick something for us to do together - sometimes a recipe, sometimes a craft or a game.

[Michelle T]

My point (which perhaps I am not getting across well enough, or maybe people aren't reading far enough to see me reiterate) is that, as soon as she doesn't have one of those things filling her time, she gets "bored." She's unable to entertain herself.

Tara

 

 

 

Some people just aren't good at finding ways to entertain themselves. Adults as well as children. I think it's just a personality trait. Some people are more creative than others, have more interests, or just are better at coming up with things to do. Some people aren't good at coming up with things on their own. My DH is a perfect example of a person who is very, very rarely bored. I'm just the opposite, I have a hard time thinking of things I want to do.

 

Our DS, who is 12.5, is bored easily. He also thinks lots of things other kids do are "dumb" or "babyish", so that is not just a public school thing.

Michelle T

[gardenschooler]

My guess is that personality has something to do with it, as well as how many things they have at hand that they can do just off on their own and loose. My only schooled kid is never bored (she probably knows there are chores awaiting if she is), but one of mine that is homeschooled actually asked for some schoolwork to do over the break! :confused: I think she also knows chores will be readily handed out if she seems to need something to do, so she might as well do what she knows is inevitable.