Trip down memory lane

[Scarlett]

Today I returned to the city where I spent 27 years of my adult life.  I rarely go there any more even though it is only 1 1/2 hours away.  I can’t explain the feelings.  I was near the house where I brought my son home from  the hospital but I did not drive by.   I went to a favorite coffee shop next to a park where I took ds to swim team 3 times a week for 3 years.  Oh the memories…..I parked at the park and drank my coffee and ate a snack. 
 

It was like I went home and no one was there.  There wasn’t a single person I really wanted to call.  A former co worker….but she was at work…..my friend’s (the one who died when our kids were 13)  young adult child….but I did not plan ahead and feel guilty about it because she has reached out to me wanting me to meet her baby. 
 

Talk about regrets.  I wish we had never left AR.  I think we will end up there but it won’t be that city.  It will be in the Hot Springs area near dh’s family.  That feels like home now.  
 

It is sad. 

[Rosie_0801]

When I go back to the city where my kids were born it is like I'm walking into a ghostly dimension or something. It's not a pleasant experience.

[Scarlett]

2 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:

When I go back to the city where my kids were born it is like I'm walking into a ghostly dimension or something. It's not a pleasant experience.

Exactly. 

[Tap]

1 minute ago, Rosie_0801 said:

When I go back to the city where my kids were born it is like I'm walking into a ghostly dimension or something. It's not a pleasant experience.

I feel the same.

I was just in my hometown last week. Driving down the roads lead to unexpected mental journeys. Odd, fractured stories flooded back. Touchpoints that used to be important but are long forgotten. Being in that town, my heart is heavy, my brain is clouded and I feel like my soul is squirming to escape to muddled remembrances of a dutiful daughter and wife, who was terrified of being anything but perfect. 

[kathyl]

The rare times I've been back to places I've lived; it just makes me feel old.  

We rode through Baton Rouge a few weeks ago.  That's where all my relatives are from.  Only most of them have moved out to Denham Springs now.  Or Texas.  It was sad because I couldn't even ride down to see the old houses I remember.  Too dangerous.  And we didn't go see anyone there.  Just passing through.

[Scarlett]

It does make me feel better that it happens to a lot of us.

[Starr]

I can go back to NYC where my kids were born but not to where I raised them. Especially with most of the special people gone. 

[saraha]

Dh planned a whole day in my old city as we passed through to somewhere else. At the last second I chickened out. He even mapped where my dads grave was back when we had to print out the map but I just couldn’t do it.

[Katy]

I feel the same every time I go back to my hometown. I still have family and friends and church there, but I can’t go home again without my dad there. 

[stephanier.1765]

I still live in the same house I raised my boys. I regularly drive by the ballfield where they spent many hours playing baseball and I spent watching. It's a pang to my heart every time. I still live in the same community where I was raised and visit my parents who still live in that same home. It's a pang to my heart as I drive by homes in the neighborhood where I spent many happy hours playing with friends or the fields where we picked blackberries. I want to say it's a longing for simpler times but my life is pretty simple now. So it's more likely I'm missing the people who were a big part of my life then and I'm definitely missing my children being small. I don't know if it would be harder to see these places only rarely or on a regular basis, but it's definitely hard either way.

[KungFuPanda]

I’m having the opposite problem. DH and I are now a couple rattling around a family home. Our house isn’t giant but it’s excessive for two people. However, my kids are in EVERY room. I don’t know how we could leave. They were 1 and 4 when we moved in. Sure, you take your memories with you, but the house triggers the memories. I can walk into any room and look at a space and a memory will present itself. I guess you can take video or do Mind Palace stuff, but the house feels like an active participant in this exercise. 
 

Granted, I’m not in the mental place to make sound decisions right now. 

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

There’s something this summer that is ticking up nostalgia.  Maybe it is my oldest turning 13, maybe it is taking a job back in a place where literally every mile is a memory, maybe it’s because we’ll probably be selling our first house there soon.  
Maybe I just want to go back to a simpler time when we may not have had much money at all but we had time together, the kids weren’t smelly and disrespectful, I was still speaking to all my siblings and we spent glorious summer evenings cruising on our boat around the lake.