Carrie12345 Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 I’m in week 4 of my new foray into college. It’s intense. I have a regular paced class, two accelerated 7 week classes, and then a 1 credit accelerated class that I somehow expected to be 1/3 of the work of a 3 credit class BUT IT IS NOT. Coming up, I have a 10 week course and two more 7 week courses, plus that full semester class. I love it. Even the parts I hate, I sort of love. I’m running near-perfect scores in everything. I have been planning to move to more full semester classes for the fall in order to make scheduling easier, but I’ve definitely been wanting to continue to maximize my tuition dollars AND my time. I’m turning 46 in a couple of months. At full speed, I might finish a masters by 51/52. If I slow down, I’m worried there might not be much point or financial balance to the whole thing. It isn’t as if I’m a working professional with experience taking classes to move up. I’d just be an educated novice. But the heavy school load has the rest of my life out of whack now. Yes, my family needs to step up more, but that’s not the only thing. I’m still homeschooling 2 kids, and however independent they’re working, I still need time there. I like a super clean house higher than any of my family members’ standards. I need time with my dogs. I have an entire garden plus landscaping to work on from scratch. We have multiple appointments most weeks. Errands are 20-45 minutes one way. I’m not getting my exercise (or the dogs’ exercise) in. I like real food for dinner at the least. I want time with friends. My kids want their friends over. Dh, the kids, and I all volunteer (them more than me, currently.) House projects are being ignored. There is no more sleep to cut back on; I’m at my functional minimum. Today I’m feeling defeated. By myself, not by others. How much do I really want to give up for the next 4-6 years for something I don’t technically need? And if I slow down school to “have it all”, how much am I really going to accomplish if I finish at 55 or later? (At that point, entering the workforce after more than 30 years out of low wage work.) I’m just looking for some outside input to consider before summer and fall registrations open up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 (edited) A few thoughts: 1. Something caused you to enroll at age 46. Realistically, you have at least 20 years until you contemplate retirement, when ss kicks in. If you returned to school for more money or social security credits, can you find similarly compensated work without getting a master’s? 2. It’s ok to grieve the good parts of your “old” life. No one can do everything. Rank your time commitments and sort those out. Don’t let perfect get in the way of good. 3. Four weeks in is a common crisis point in a semester. It’s when the work burden starts to really hit. Midterms and 7-10 days before finals are other common crisis points. The first semester at any school tends to be an adjustment in whole. Give it some real time before you think that your time suck is going to be this for forever. You will become more efficient as you catch the swing of things. Edited February 7, 2023 by prairiewindmomma 12 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 I don’t think you’re necessarily wrong to be questioning but it might be worth giving it a bit more time before making decisions? I’m also finding life way more busy than I like and am not feeling contented. I love the slower pace. But I’m also not sure how to achieve it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa Louise Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 So, I slowed down the pace of study because of family demands. Got my retraining diploma p/t, and then slammed into years of heavy duty parenting, while ex did a PhD, and was unable to finish my post grad training. I regret it. Fairly bitterly. Though not entirely so. You might not. No-one can tell you what is the best thing to do, because no-one knows, and there is no best anyway! Just different ways things go. But it's even harder to study when you're working F/T, in my experience. And it can get late enough in life that the cost-benefit analysis to paying for more study has more costs than not. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa Louise Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 Sorry, I feel like the above is a downer. It's not, but every choice has a cost, and it's just a matter of knowing what cost you're paying, and being willing to pay it. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted February 7, 2023 Author Share Posted February 7, 2023 7 minutes ago, Melissa Louise said: Sorry, I feel like the above is a downer. It's not, but every choice has a cost, and it's just a matter of knowing what cost you're paying, and being willing to pay it. No more of a downer than what’s going on in my own head, lol. Dh and I talked about it a bit tonight. It hasn’t really helped any decision making process, but I feel slightly better. I’m not going to make any big decisions for a few more weeks, so reminding myself of that has calmed me at least a little bit! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin M Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 (edited) I think you can do it if you only take one or two classes at at time. I went back to finish my Bachelor's degree when I was 47 and it took about 5 years taking one or two classes at a time online. I didn't want to go full time since we're homeschooling and running a business because I wouldn't have been able to manage both going full time. I really didn't technically need the degree either, but wanted to learn and wanted to finish what I had started way back when. I took classes I enjoyed - literature, oceanography, art history, etc. As long as your family supports you in your endeavors, because you are doing this for you, then that is a good thing. If you want to get a job after all is said and done, you can probably make your own opportunities. Maybe start your own business. Depends on if you want a career or just want to work. It sounds like you are enjoying school so my recommendation is take one or two classes a semester, so you can balance it out with your home life. Whatever you do, do it for you. Edited February 7, 2023 by Robin M 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scholastica Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 Getting the degree can be a goal in itself. Being well educated will serve you well whether you have a good ROI or not. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 I think it matters what field you will be entering... meaning that some jobs can easily accommodate an older citizen while others are too demanding of our bodies. My parents and in-laws continued to work part-time after they retired. It was a nice balance for them. And then they volunteered in their field of expertise for a while. Just another way to think about things. I can't imagine that if you take an extra year or two to finish the degree so you can enjoy the life you have now, will have any real impact on the quality of your career. But if you don't have time to exercise and keep up relationships, it can be determinal to your health. Just some thoughts since you are asking. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 Consider carefully what your goal is. If it is to increase your family income is this degree path the best choice for that. If it is to do a paid job you find fulfilling is the sacrifice to your family life worth it. If it is simply to get a degree, also is the cost to family life worth it. You are already quite educated and intelligent. Education doesn’t require a degree. I am not a big believer in having it all. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 I started college at 46. I took 12 credit hours a semester because that's what I could afford and handle while dealing with a sick parent, a divorce, and homeschooling ds. If you're doing this for your own knowledge, it's okay to slow down. My gauge has been that (on average) for each 3 credit course, you need to allot 6-9 hours a week outside of lecture time to do your work. So one non-accelerated course might take 9-12 hours per week. Usually you're at the low end at the beginning of the semester, but it will ramp up later. For me, I determined that 4 courses could equal a full time job. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heartstrings Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 (edited) You’re going to have to let some things go. There’s just no way around it. You get to choose the things, but you can’t have all of them. The garden, house projects and volunteering are obvious places to cut but that's going to be your choice. Maybe you can hire a housekeeper, or sign up for a meal service to help with meals to help ease the load. Your life was full before you added school. In order to add a big thing like that you’ll need to clear out some other things, for a time. Or you can decide that school doesn’t fit and you want to keep your life like it was before, or you can decide to add school in part time so you can keep more things from your normal life. Edited February 7, 2023 by Heartstrings 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 (edited) As an advisor, I always have to tell students that a full college load equals a full-time job. You can either do a full load and cut back elsewhere, or reduce your hours. We can have it all - but not at the same time. Right now may not be your season for volunteering, and you may need to lower your housekeeping standards or hire help. These two are easy fixes. Taking a bit longer won't dramatically alter your job situation. And FWIW: one of my colleagues still teaches at 86 😉 Edited February 7, 2023 by regentrude 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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