Aubrey Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 Y'all remember my neighbor who came by, waved in the window, & then opened the door & just came in a few mos ago? My blinds are generally open, & when she's around, she waves in the window & comes in. Generally, she's bringing us food. There's a food line on campus on Tuesdays, & she brings us a loaf of bread or a box of cereal or whatever. We really don't need it, but I haven't been able to adequately express that to her, kwim? I've tried the, "Oh, you're so kind, you don't have to do that" thing, to no avail. Well, she hasn't brought us anything in several mos, but today she rang the bell. Before I could get to the door, she'd come in, set a loaf of bread on the sofa, & gone back out. The blinds are closed today. Almost all the lights are off. Obviously, I should keep the door locked, but dh came in at an odd time, & I hadn't relocked it. She means well. She's really sweet. But...there's a cultural difference there somewhere, & I don't know how to address it w/out hurting her feelings. Thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 Make sure the door stays locked. How rude to walk into someone's home like that. :glare: You could politely ask next time, "I'm sorry could you please knock next time. With my children around I'd like to make sure I know who is coming into my home." Then smile and teach your dh how to lock the door when he comes in! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blessedfamily Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 You could politely ask next time, "I'm sorry could you please knock next time. With my children around I'd like to make sure I know who is coming into my home." Good answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen500 Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 I'd make it a habit of keeping your door locked. We do that for general safety. I don't want my youngest going outside on his own, and occasionally daytime burglaries occur. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted December 16, 2008 Author Share Posted December 16, 2008 You could politely ask next time, "I'm sorry could you please knock next time. With my children around I'd like to make sure I know who is coming into my home." Then smile and teach your dh how to lock the door when he comes in! Well, ya know, she did ring the bell. And she always either knocks or says, "knock-knock" as she's coming in. I want to say, "Stop coming into my house. Just stop it." Dh says that would be rude, though. :glare: We both have boundary issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicole M Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 You're in campus housing, right? I think people have this idea that campus housing is different and that the rules that would apply in a normal neighborhood do not apply. Not that it is right. It's not. But then, wouldn't you always keep your door locked in a (so-called) normal neighborhood? Really, I hate to say it, but the best thing in this situation would be to always keep your door locked. It's safer for you, anyway, as it decreases the chances that your children will escape (ask me how I know about this!). That said, it would totally bug me, and you're completely justified in being miffed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 Oops...I do that to my neighbor all the time, except I don't bring bread.... She has a son a little older than my son and she's kinda slow due to medical issues...I don't want her having to walk to the door...if it's just me. I always kinda open the door...and say...Val?? and she says "Come on in..." I also always knock first...anywhere I go...instead of ring the bell. Maybe it's kinda like that...just depends on where you were brought up?? I couldn't let anyone just open my door...because of the dog. If you have animals..you could use that as an excuse.... Let me get to the door, cuz we've been trying to hold (insert pets name) collar before opening the door...so he doesn't get out.... Carrie:-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 I would act exaggeratedly surprised and freaked out each time she does this. Like, "OH!! You scared me! I didn't know *who* was coming in!!" If that fails, you could start coming out of the other room in various stages of undress, with the same expression of surprise at finding her in your home. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted December 16, 2008 Author Share Posted December 16, 2008 Maybe I should start going into her house? I mean, I've never even seen the inside of her apt, & she lives straight across from me, lol! Stages of undress, though, I couldn't do. Eek! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 Stages of undress, though, I couldn't do. Eek! Are you sure? Wet and wrapped in a big towel would probably do it! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted December 16, 2008 Author Share Posted December 16, 2008 Are you sure? Wet and wrapped in a big towel would probably do it! :D You don't know this lady.....:leaving: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 well if the caution about the kids doesn't work, you could always take to walking around the house naked. seriously, doesn't it ever occur to people that you could be "busy". :lol: That said, maybe you could use a different door for family/friends? My front door is rarely used by anyone and it's kept locked. the side door is used by friends/family and they all just walk right in and I don't care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted December 16, 2008 Author Share Posted December 16, 2008 That said, maybe you could use a different door for family/friends? My front door is rarely used by anyone and it's kept locked. the side door is used by friends/family and they all just walk right in and I don't care. LOL--we only *have* one door! It's always quite illuminating to me when there's a CLEAR problem--like w/ the a/c this summer--because it allows me to see what a yellow-belly I am. Seriously? I'm having trouble figuring out how to ask someone not to come into my house???? At least I can see that I have a problem, though. Dh is still in denial. I can see the ultimate conclusion of his end of the argument: neighbor isn't hurting anything--so what if she wants to come in & bring us bread? :lol: In fact, I think I'm going to go test that on him now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 Keep your door(s) locked. You'll get used to it and it will be safer all around. Those little ones are too precious and some have been know to slip out unattended. (Not that that ever happened to me of course:001_huh:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted December 16, 2008 Author Share Posted December 16, 2008 At least I can see that I have a problem, though. Dh is still in denial. I can see the ultimate conclusion of his end of the argument: neighbor isn't hurting anything--so what if she wants to come in & bring us bread? :lol: In fact, I think I'm going to go test that on him now. Yep. He thinks that's a good plan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 Get a bb gun that looks real and have it pointed at her next time she comes in your door. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 Get a bb gun that looks real and have it pointed at her next time she comes in your door. I see you've been reading How To Win Friends and Influence People again! :D:auto: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 I see you've been reading How To Win Friends and Influence People again! :D:auto: You know me, what can I say? I could send over one of my hell dogs, but the bb gun would be much safer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamnkats Posted December 18, 2008 Share Posted December 18, 2008 At least I can see that I have a problem, though. Dh is still in denial. I can see the ultimate conclusion of his end of the argument: neighbor isn't hurting anything--so what if she wants to come in & bring us bread? :lol: In fact, I think I'm going to go test that on him now. I'm afraid to say that I totally agree with your DH, but then again, we don't have walls, let alone doors in our palapa (house). Lock your door and you won't have a problem anymore. But you'll probably miss out on the bread. Why don't you ask her why she comes in? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted December 18, 2008 Share Posted December 18, 2008 You know me, what can I say? I could send over one of my hell dogs, but the bb gun would be much safer. Yep...all you need is a Border Collie, Ella would tackle her at the door. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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