Suggestions on services I could use for homeschooling my kids where I am not teaching them.

[David O.]

Ok, we have 4 kids in k-12 school.  One of our kids is having a really bad time in traditional school.  She's in 8th grade.  The triggers school has now caused her to end up in a behavioral health hospital twice in 3 weeks.  A few days ago, she stayed home "sick."  She then wrote a concerning text to a schoolmate which then alerted school staff and they dispatched police and an ambulance to our house, then called me to let me know they're on the way.  There are some serious issues she's having with in person learning.  One of the other big trigger is technology.  She's addicted to social media.  I've tried to block it for years and they always find a way around the blocks.  But she has also told us that it doesn't make her feel good, but she can't help but access it... like she can't control herself.  But, if she did online school through the district, she's required to use a district provided chromebook.  Problem with that is they don't block anything unless it's very serious.  Whatever they're doing has to hit a lot of checklist items before it's flagged for a human to look at it.  The things she's writing is subtle and their system isn't picking it up.  I have no ability to monitor their school computers.  We talked to the school yesterday.  They're trying to monitor 10,000 kids.  I'm trying to monitor 1 kid.  My stakes are a lot higher than their stakes on my child.  

So, I'm wondering about just home schooling her.  I work full time and so does my wife.  I work from home.  But, I can't teach her all day.  I was wondering of an online school where she could work one on one with a teacher, work on her assignments and be able to get help as she needs.  I can keep her on track and making progress, but I can't do the teaching.

[lmrich]

Saying this very gently - just focus on her mental health for now. She can make up the academics later. Seek professional help for your sweet girl first.❤️

[Miss Tick]

I agree with pp. You will not be successful homeschooling her (particularly on an electronic platform) unless you deal with her underlying issues first. I am sorry that your family is going through this.

[David O.]

I totally get it.  I'd rather treat the source of the problem, not the result of the problem.  But, the problem is she's already been there once for a week and it didn't help.  (It did help some... but obviously not nearly enough.)  So, she's back there again for a week or two.  When she gets out, I have to have a plan.  My options are to put her back in the same situation that is causing at least some of the problems or change something.  It's illegal for me to just keep her home after the doctor says it's OK to go back to school.  We'd get reported to DCS.  

[KSera]

10 minutes ago, David O. said:

I totally get it.  I'd rather treat the source of the problem, not the result of the problem.  But, the problem is she's already been there once for a week and it didn't help.  (It did help some... but obviously not nearly enough.)  So, she's back there again for a week or two.  When she gets out, I have to have a plan.  My options are to put her back in the same situation that is causing at least some of the problems or change something.  It's illegal for me to just keep her home after the doctor says it's OK to go back to school.  We'd get reported to DCS.  

Is she having outpatient treatment as well? Inpatient is only to get them stable enough to release. Is she on medication now? There are some intensive outpatient programs for kids that even include schooling time. I do agree with you that the change of situation seems like it may need to be part of the solution as well, but it would be just one part. You can certainly withdraw her to homeschool and then initially focus on her mental health while you figure out how to address the schooling portion.

[David O.]

Yeah, so she got out of the hospital and we had her scheduled to go see a psychiatrist.  But, the psychiatrist they told us to take her to was booked out many weeks.  So, she hasn't gone yet.  I told the hospital, we don't have weeks.  A lot of bad stuff can happen in a few weeks.  So, she'll get out of the hospital in a week or two and then she'll have a lot of time being home without any support other than what she got leaving the hospital.  

[David O.]

also, i went through this process myself.  I never ended up in the hospital but I was feeling down and extremely depressed.  It runs in our family.  I went to a psych to get help.  But, the doctor explained to me that medication was like glasses for the brain.  You see foggy now but you don't know it because you've never seen any other way.  You take the right meds, and now it's clear.  But, he said there's no exact science on what meds I need to take.  He said there are two spectrums of medications.  We had to pick one or the other.  So, we did.  Then he just started trying meds and I took them a few weeks and reported back.  Some of them were really bad.  I felt suicidal.  Some made me feel high.  Some made me mad and short.  I finally found the right meds, but it took months of back and forth.  We don't have that kind of time for her.  Seeing she's my blood line, the doc did start her off on one med I'm taking.  So, hopefully it gives her a head start from the process I went through.

[maize]

Hi David,

This sounds like a really tough situation. I have a teen who struggles with mental health, and what has worked for him this year academically is one-on-one tutoring through Preply; it advertises as a language tutoring service but tutors can offer any subject--my son has tutors for math, chemistry, Chinese, and cello lessons.

[David O.]

20 minutes ago, maize said:

Hi David,

This sounds like a really tough situation. I have a teen who struggles with mental health, and what has worked for him this year academically is one-on-one tutoring through Preply; it advertises as a language tutoring service but tutors can offer any subject--my son has tutors for math, chemistry, Chinese, and cello lessons.

That looks like it might be a good resource.  Yeah, when I first clicked on it, all I could find was language learning tutors.  You really need to dig to find other types of tutors.  Amazing that they limit their initial appeal to appear they're very narrow focused.

[domestic_engineer]

This person advertises 1-on-1 tutoring for math classes. https://www.lang4life.com/math/
 

We took his Chinese class on Outschool, and he was nice and encouraging. But we were using his course for casual learning.   
 

Last I checked, Outschool also had  people offering 1-on-1 tutoring for English courses.  
 

I wonder, though, if you would have to provide the curriculum/scope/sequence or if these tutors have a whole semester’s worth of lesson plans ready to use. 
 

Varsity Tutors may also be worth investigating.

[maize]

56 minutes ago, David O. said:

That looks like it might be a good resource.  Yeah, when I first clicked on it, all I could find was language learning tutors.  You really need to dig to find other types of tutors.  Amazing that they limit their initial appeal to appear they're very narrow focused.

It is rather odd. Strangely, I think I first came across the service while looking for online music instruction due to pandemic circumstances. I'm not sure now how Preply even came up with that search. 

There are other online tutoring services out there, this is just the one I am familiar with. It has worked well for my family because many of the tutors charge fees that make for reasonable income in their home countries while being more affordable for me than I could find with US based tutors, and I needed something where I could afford to pay for multiple hours of tutoring every week for a child who currently needs a lot of handholding.

[KateBradley]

What a difficult situation!  I went through a similar but less severe situation with a younger child, and the only way we managed was to put school on the back burner while we worked on health and relationship.

It sounds like you understand that getting your daughter into a stable state could well take a long time, and that she will need supervision while trialing new medicines and waiting to see the right psychiatrist.  I would take it as easy as possible on the schooling until then; when parents first pull their kids from traditional school, it's very common to incorporate a month or more of de-stressing (some call it de-schooling) where you work on your child's mental and emotional resources.  Especially for kids who have had bad experiences in school, they need to know their parents are on their side and listening.  If you're worried about the school or DCS coming after you for not putting her right into a formal school program, you should start by looking at the actual laws of your state (https://hslda.org/legal).

It sounds like what you're looking for is a live online school, where your daughter will be supervised and held accountable by a live teacher, right? Most full curriculum schools are going to be in wrapping up a term right now.  As a short-term substitute, I'd go with Outschool, and put together a few options that include some necessary subjects and some that might appeal to her interests (for instance, my kids do both science and Dungeons & Dragons through Outschool). 

But in 8th grade, you could also homeschool by teaching her yourself in the morning or evening, and leaving her a list of independent work and reading to do throughout the day.  I have an 11yo, and we do history/literature together as a family, then he goes of and is pretty independent working from a list for the rest of his day.  There are lots of subjects that can be learned independently from a decent workbook, especially in the short term, if you want to keep her off of screens while you're deciding what your long-term schooling will look like.  We also use apps and textbooks and interactive online programs and a few live online classes - but it takes a while to put together what makes sense for your kid, and I wouldn't rush those decisions.

Wishing you the best as you walk this difficult road with your precious girl!

 

[Ting Tang]

Another option is a lot of curriculums offer DVD instruction.  And a lot of curriculum is designed to be independent at that level---you can oversee her work without "teaching."  Abeka has DVD instruction, and so does Memoria Press and Classical Academic Press.  I am new to this forum.  I am wishing you all the best.  Social media can be very unhealthy for us all, so I can only imagine for a child...  

[Lawyer&Mom]

I would consider some of the work book programs (Christian Light Education, Alpha-Omega Lifepacs) that are designed to be fairly student led.  Are they amazing?  Probably not, but they will cover the bases and keep her off the computer.

https://cathyduffyreviews.com/homeschool-reviews-core-curricula/grade-level-packages-and-courses/preschool-through-grade-8/alpha-omega-lifepacs

Good enough academics will be more than good enough.

[seemesew]

On 12/3/2021 at 1:15 PM, David O. said:

also, i went through this process myself.  I never ended up in the hospital but I was feeling down and extremely depressed.  It runs in our family.  I went to a psych to get help.  But, the doctor explained to me that medication was like glasses for the brain.  You see foggy now but you don't know it because you've never seen any other way.  You take the right meds, and now it's clear.  But, he said there's no exact science on what meds I need to take.  He said there are two spectrums of medications.  We had to pick one or the other.  So, we did.  Then he just started trying meds and I took them a few weeks and reported back.  Some of them were really bad.  I felt suicidal.  Some made me feel high.  Some made me mad and short.  I finally found the right meds, but it took months of back and forth.  We don't have that kind of time for her.  Seeing she's my blood line, the doc did start her off on one med I'm taking.  So, hopefully it gives her a head start from the process I went through.

Have you checked into saliva testing for meds? My husband and son used it to get some insight on meds and it has been life changing (trying not to sound dramatic but it truly has been) for them! It tells you what meds you likely would react badly too and which could be a good fit, for my husband he was on one that was causing some severe problems that he was taking things to cover for and once we got him off the one the test said he could react badly too things were so much better and he could go down on the others (He is bipolar btw.) My son was a similar experience. Its not 100% but it gave a us a place to start and for us has been highly accurate, The test company we used is called Genesight and our doctor gave the test and we got results telling us what meds were okay, might cause a reaction and then which could cause major interactions. Good luck I know the process can be hard to find the right ones!

[kiwik]

If she has social media and screen issues on line may not be the best bet.  Lantern English can be printed and done off line although submission needs to be typed and emailed.  Textbooks can be used in line.  

If you could get her to do something for English and maths while you deal with the mental health issues she won't be behind.  But US schools work differently than ours I suppose.

Gently though, the reality is that one of you or both do need to alter your work situation so you can supervise her and teach her.  Can you shift some of your work to when your wife is home? I do most of mine while the kids are asleep.

[Ellie]

On 12/3/2021 at 1:45 PM, David O. said:

I totally get it.  I'd rather treat the source of the problem, not the result of the problem.  But, the problem is she's already been there once for a week and it didn't help.  (It did help some... but obviously not nearly enough.)  So, she's back there again for a week or two.  When she gets out, I have to have a plan.  My options are to put her back in the same situation that is causing at least some of the problems or change something.  It's illegal for me to just keep her home after the doctor says it's OK to go back to school.  We'd get reported to DCS.  

Surely, if your state has specific requirements to homeschool, and you comply with those requirements, then that would be legal. Even if there aren't specific requirements (which is true in many states), if you decide to homeschool, then you aren't just "keeping her home," even if you haven't chosen everything she'll be doing academically. Deciding to homeschool *is* the plan, right?

[Ellie]

On 12/3/2021 at 11:42 AM, David O. said:

So, I'm wondering about just home schooling her.  I work full time and so does my wife.  I work from home.  But, I can't teach her all day.  I was wondering of an online school where she could work one on one with a teacher, work on her assignments and be able to get help as she needs.  I can keep her on track and making progress, but I can't do the teaching.

You don't need to "teach all day." You teach some, discuss some, give her the assignments, let her work on them independently while you do your work, check her work, take a break, do the next thing.

If you decide that homeschooling would work for your dd, you could formally withdraw her at Christmas and then take off a few weeks; that would be between semesters, you know, so giving y'all time to rest and regroup would be perfectly acceptable.

With your description of the issues, seems to me that keeping her off the computer completely would be best. There are so many things that are much more interesting than doing anything online.

[Janeway]

On 12/3/2021 at 11:42 AM, David O. said:

Ok, we have 4 kids in k-12 school.  One of our kids is having a really bad time in traditional school.  She's in 8th grade.  The triggers school has now caused her to end up in a behavioral health hospital twice in 3 weeks.  A few days ago, she stayed home "sick."  She then wrote a concerning text to a schoolmate which then alerted school staff and they dispatched police and an ambulance to our house, then called me to let me know they're on the way.  There are some serious issues she's having with in person learning.  One of the other big trigger is technology.  She's addicted to social media.  I've tried to block it for years and they always find a way around the blocks.  But she has also told us that it doesn't make her feel good, but she can't help but access it... like she can't control herself.  But, if she did online school through the district, she's required to use a district provided chromebook.  Problem with that is they don't block anything unless it's very serious.  Whatever they're doing has to hit a lot of checklist items before it's flagged for a human to look at it.  The things she's writing is subtle and their system isn't picking it up.  I have no ability to monitor their school computers.  We talked to the school yesterday.  They're trying to monitor 10,000 kids.  I'm trying to monitor 1 kid.  My stakes are a lot higher than their stakes on my child.  

So, I'm wondering about just home schooling her.  I work full time and so does my wife.  I work from home.  But, I can't teach her all day.  I was wondering of an online school where she could work one on one with a teacher, work on her assignments and be able to get help as she needs.  I can keep her on track and making progress, but I can't do the teaching.

Sounds like you’re talking about my child there. There is plenty of stuff that’s pretty darn independent. and I know you probably think she’s a little too old for this but maybe sometime dis schooling would help her. And by dis ing, I mean without technology. I highly recommend you do not use any curriculum that uses technology.

[Janeway]

On 12/3/2021 at 11:42 AM, David O. said:

Ok, we have 4 kids in k-12 school.  One of our kids is having a really bad time in traditional school.  She's in 8th grade.  The triggers school has now caused her to end up in a behavioral health hospital twice in 3 weeks.  A few days ago, she stayed home "sick."  She then wrote a concerning text to a schoolmate which then alerted school staff and they dispatched police and an ambulance to our house, then called me to let me know they're on the way.  There are some serious issues she's having with in person learning.  One of the other big trigger is technology.  She's addicted to social media.  I've tried to block it for years and they always find a way around the blocks.  But she has also told us that it doesn't make her feel good, but she can't help but access it... like she can't control herself.  But, if she did online school through the district, she's required to use a district provided chromebook.  Problem with that is they don't block anything unless it's very serious.  Whatever they're doing has to hit a lot of checklist items before it's flagged for a human to look at it.  The things she's writing is subtle and their system isn't picking it up.  I have no ability to monitor their school computers.  We talked to the school yesterday.  They're trying to monitor 10,000 kids.  I'm trying to monitor 1 kid.  My stakes are a lot higher than their stakes on my child.  

So, I'm wondering about just home schooling her.  I work full time and so does my wife.  I work from home.  But, I can't teach her all day.  I was wondering of an online school where she could work one on one with a teacher, work on her assignments and be able to get help as she needs.  I can keep her on track and making progress, but I can't do the teaching.

Are you still around? I can see when you wrote this, my child was actually in a residential program.