What social media for a 15yo who hasn't had social problems with internet in the past?

[SKL]

My girl wants expanded social media privileges for her 15th birthday.  She isn't very active on social media in general.  She doesn't overuse her current iphone capabilities.  AFAIK her worst internet offense is too much time watching Youtube videos.

Right now she has phone/facetime, text, snapchat, and a school email (with school-only restrictions).  I gave her permission to try tictoc only for watching, not posting, but I don't think she has used this.  She made a youtube channel years ago, but she never posts on it.

What would you allow?  She specifically asked for Instagram, and I told her I would consider it but it's a probable yes.  Anything else to consider?

[KSera]

Does she have any mental health challenges? If so, you might think carefully about Instagram, as it has a tendency to exacerbate mental health issues, particularly in teen girls. If disordered eating is any kind of concern, it would be a definite no for me. Or any other kind of body image issues. In any case, at that age I would have some time limits on it. I have two adult kids who have been negatively impacted by social media in different ways, but one of those didn't get into it until 18 years old and it still was a problem. I don't honestly know a healthier app to recommend though, because they all seem to pose similar problems and I don't know a way around it. I guess lots and lots of talking, but even that didn't stop the negative impact here.

[SKL]

2 hours ago, KSera said:

Does she have any mental health challenges? If so, you might think carefully about Instagram, as it has a tendency to exacerbate mental health issues, particularly in teen girls. If disordered eating is any kind of concern, it would be a definite no for me. Or any other kind of body image issues. In any case, at that age I would have some time limits on it. I have two adult kids who have been negatively impacted by social media in different ways, but one of those didn't get into it until 18 years old and it still was a problem. I don't honestly know a healthier app to recommend though, because they all seem to pose similar problems and I don't know a way around it. I guess lots and lots of talking, but even that didn't stop the negative impact here.

She has OCD and, though undiagnosed, might have general anxiety.  She is a poor eater, but I wouldn't say she has body image issues as in trying to starve herself.  It's more that she has a hard time finding things she enjoys eating.  (Oddly enough, Youtube has inspired her to try new foods.)  She correctly views herself as having a healthy slim waist.  But when it comes to hair, nails, etc., she can get pretty obsessed / perfectionistic.  That said, Youtube is probably worse than Instagram for that issue.

[Sneezyone]

My DS only watches YouTube videos from nerd-like figures. He stumbled upon some pornographic images as an extension of his anime love but didn't linger. He's a rule follower. He's eschewed/refused the option to create social media accounts. I'm not mad, lol. I would allow Facebook and Twitter for a 15yo with different handles for both. I am not a fan of Snapchat or Instagram. My DD has accounts for both but rarely posts. Everything that happens there is sus, IMO. Tik Tok is also sus but if your kiddo is disciplined and generally sane, it's probably OK. Lots of "challenges" that kids with half a lick of sense simply view and enjoy.

Edited October 8, 2021 by Sneezyone

[regentrude]

Whatever her friends are using. It makes no sense to be the only one in your circle on a particular platform because then you can't use the social aspect.

So, first I'd investigate what is common in her circle: Discord? Insta? Snapchat? (This generation is not using fb anymore).

Second, what kind of content creation and consumption is she interested in? If she wants to create highly visual content, Insta is good. If she wants to create video, youtube. Run events - fb. Static content with writing output - get her a website.

Edited October 8, 2021 by regentrude

[Sneezyone]

8 minutes ago, regentrude said:

Whatever her friends are using. It makes no sense to be the only one in your circle on a particular platform because then you can't use the social aspect.

So, first I'd investigate what is common in her circle: Discord? Insta? Snapchat? (This generation is not using fb anymore).

Second, what kind of content creation and consumption is she interested in? If she wants to create highly visual content, Insta is good. If she wants to create video, youtube. Run events - fb. Static content with writing output - get her a website.

HA! My DD just reactivated her FB to connect with her older relatives ($$$) and because it's more "grown-uppy".

[Terabith]

My kids have Instagram accounts, but they almost never post.  They occasionally use it to see what friends are up to.  Discord is what they use a lot, but I think that is largely based on their interests (role playing primarily and some video gaming).  So I would find out what social media her friends have and what she wants.   

[Lanny]

I read all of the posts very quickly. I believe that in the past few weeks there have been a number of news articles about the dangers of Instagram. Especially for teen age girls.

Discord was mentioned in one or more of the posts. That's one communications thing that my DD uses. She's in Europe now (Semester Abroad) but when she was here, one day I heard her talking for an hour or two on Discord. The quality seemed excellent, for me, hearing what I did through the wall and the open windows. She is a "Gamer" and I think Discord is primarily used by Gamers?

If your DD has a hobby or interests then whatever platform the majority of people who are into that interest are  on.

The interest one has in something is IMO more important than the communications platform.

[2squared]

I’m not seeing a difference between Instagram and Snapchat, but maybe I’m missing something? My kids post the same stuff to both platforms, but they use Snapchat constantly and Instagram about once/week. They use Snapchat like a texting platform. I think Instagram is quickly on the way out and is being replaced by visco, at least in our teen world. 

[alisoncooks]

My 15 yr old does a lot of communicating via discord with friend groups. She likes Instagram to keep up with friends from camp. She likes Pinterest and follows friends on there. 

[catz]

17 minutes ago, 2squared said:

I’m not seeing a difference between Instagram and Snapchat, but maybe I’m missing something? My kids post the same stuff to both platforms, but they use Snapchat constantly and Instagram about once/week. They use Snapchat like a texting platform. I think Instagram is quickly on the way out and is being replaced by visco, at least in our teen world. 

I think influencer culture (whatever that train wreck is) is really thick in instagram.  But if you aren't following those type of posters and just using it for keeping up with friends, etc you wouldn't see that kind of thing.  I do think it's really easy for some teen girls to get very obsessed with the images portrayed by "influencers".  

Whatever you let her use, I would keep the lines of communication open and foster discussion about it regularly.  Follow some of the same stuff she does.  I think it has definitely benefitted my kids to have a training period with learning how to unfollow and step away when it makes sense.  It can be a useful tool, but it really isn't real life.  

[hippymamato3]

19 hours ago, 2squared said:

I’m not seeing a difference between Instagram and Snapchat, but maybe I’m missing something? My kids post the same stuff to both platforms, but they use Snapchat constantly and Instagram about once/week. They use Snapchat like a texting platform. I think Instagram is quickly on the way out and is being replaced by visco, at least in our teen world. 

Interesting. VSCO is very two years ago here!