s/o: for all those who don't feel grown-up

[cathmom]

Did you enjoy being a child? A teen? Did you love high school?

 

I am just wondering because the idea is so foreign to me. I was grown-up the day I turned 18 and I never looked back! I would NEVER want to be a child again.

[Tracey in TX]

I answered "driver's license" for the question b/c of the thrill of mobility, and the freedom it offered. I loved being a teenager, high school, college, even my time in the military. Newlywed timeframe was like playing house, but not having to impress upon anyone that I was grown-up or mature. Sometimes I wonder how I got to be SO OLD?! LOL Sheesh, I only blinked and two decades flew by...

[melissel]

Yes, yes, and it was OK. I really couldn't wait to get to college--in fact, I left high school a year early (never graduated) to get there sooner. But I feel like that's where I got stuck! I do occasionally feel grown up, especially now when dealing with very mature DD6 (seriously, some days she's better at handling DD3 than I am!), but I still mostly feel like college was just last year. I was amazed recently when I did the math and realized that my best friend, whom I met in college, and I have been friends for 16 years. Honestly, it feels like just yesterday.

[Tree House Academy]

Not really, no (to all of those). I had a lot of tragedy in my childhood and highschool was just something to get me by till college. I think that sometimes I just still think of myself as being 17- especially in new or awkward situations. For instance, when the responsibility falls on ME to take care of my kids, keep my house clean, make sure things are done...sometimes I just have to remind myself..."hey, you are the grown-up here!" LOL

 

It is more of a perception thing...I don't FEEL 30 (sometimes I feel 80!), I am not sure I always ACT 30...oh, but I am!

[shell in SC]

Did you enjoy being a child? A teen? Did you love high school?

 

I am just wondering because the idea is so foreign to me. I was grown-up the day I turned 18 and I never looked back! I would NEVER want to be a child again.

 

NO

NO

and NO!!!

 

Didn't enjoy my childhood. . .maybe I'm subconciously staying child-like until I have one I enjoy!

 

Sometimes I feel like I'm "mentally" not my age. It's strange. . .I have adult/parent friends, but there's a part of me that's still stuck on the teenager level. I often find myself chatting with the teens at church and sitting with them and joking during church meals, and I sometimes have to watch that I don't get TOO drawn in to their "teeny-bopper" conversations. It's strange. . .I've often wondered if there isn't something wrong with me. One of my cousins asked me how old I was a few years ago (I'm 39 now, so I was WELL into my 30's) I quick blurted out twenty. . .as I was trying to remember how old I was and they were quick to say NO YOUR NOT 20Something.

 

Hope that makes sense.

[cathmom]

NO

NO

and NO!!!

 

Didn't enjoy my childhood. . .maybe I'm subconciously staying child-like until I have one I enjoy!

 

 

 

I can see how one might have this reaction. It seems that I just went the opposite way - didn't like being a child and want to be the adult now!

[Tabrett]

I liked all the stages you mentioned. But I still don't feel grown up because I love to giggle. I love to be with my 14 yo dd and her friends and join in the boy talk and giggle and sing with them. It is so fun to act that way. I still dance around the house like a child. I spontaneously burst into song. I guess I never quit the silly teenage girl behavior and I have NO intentions of quitting.:001_tt2: I see myself dancing around the house and pretending to be a ballerina at 90!

I suppose if I acted this way around most adults they would think I'm crazy, but thats ok, I already know I am.:D

[cathmom]

I liked all the stages you mentioned. But I still don't feel grown up because I love to giggle. I love to be with my 14 yo dd and her friends and join in the boy talk and giggle and sing with them. It is so fun to act that way. I still dance around the house like a child. I spontaneously burst into song. I guess I never quit the silly teenage girl behavior and I have NO intentions of quitting.:001_tt2: I see myself dancing around the house and pretending to be a ballerina at 90!

I suppose if I acted this way around most adults they would think I'm crazy, but thats ok, I already know I am.:D

 

 

Grownups are allowed to have fun too, you know! :D

[Jenny in Atl]

NO

NO

and NO!!!

 

Didn't enjoy my childhood. . .maybe I'm subconciously staying child-like until I have one I enjoy!

 

 

 

:iagree:

 

My mom jokes I was born "old"... very serious and all grown-up. So now that I am "grown-up" I feel young, maybe like the new Brad Pitt movie? :lol: I don't really want to run off and do teen things, but I listen to music not becoming my age, want to get my nose pierced, etc. I don't identify with any one age group (like folks who are young, middle aged, and old). I guess I don't know what the heck I am! :lol:

[elegantlion]

Did you enjoy being a child? A teen? Did you love high school?

 

I am just wondering because the idea is so foreign to me. I was grown-up the day I turned 18 and I never looked back! I would NEVER want to be a child again.

 

My childhood was average. I remember writing a report on myself and I overused the word average or medium way too many times. Even the teacher commented on it.

 

Felt restless as a teen, hated high school. I graduated early just to get out.

 

I love the freedom of early adulthood. I miss being in my 20's when choices were easier. I think I missed some of my 20's, maybe that's why I don't feel grown up.

 

at 23 I was divorced (he was cheating), and moved back home

at 25 I got married again

at 26 I had cancer (took about a full 8 months of treatment etc)

I think I had to be too grown up during some of those years.

 

I still feel like I want the joy of discovering new things, like the world is still my oyster. I don't want to ever feel stagnant. I think if start to feel grown up, I'll have to settle down and I'm not ready to do that.

[dhudson]

I answered still-don't feel grown-up because every once in awhile I look at my kids (who are 10, 7 & 7) and I think, "How did I get here?" Not in a bad way, just sort of puzzled and surprised. I remember when they handed me my first born, I thought, "They are really going to let me out of the hospital with this little baby? That seems like a bad idea." I am the oldest child of four, have been babysitting since 11, was a Nanny, Camp Counselor and have been responsible and an "old soul" since I was born says my grandmother so I don't think it's a lack of maturity maybe just a "When did this happen?"

[amyable]

I'm in the same boat as the other "I've felt old since I was a kid" people. I was mature beyond my age then, but I guess I stagnated, LOL.

 

I think a major reason I don't feel grown up is that I have NO idea what I'm doing most of the time. I have five (rambunctious!) kids and came from a small family, I don't know how to discipline my children effectively (although I've tried everything they are tougher than I am!), I'm trying to teach a dyslexic (my oldest so I don't even have experience under my belt), I don't know how to clean well - and the house is old so even when I DO clean it doesn't look any better, etc etc. I feel like I'm "playing" house and parent all the time because I'm not successful at my efforts. So I feel like a kid. But not in a good way, I suppose. My parents' reactions to my life/lifestyle don't help AT ALL. :tongue_smilie:

[swellmomma]

Did you enjoy being a child? A teen? Did you love high school?

 

I am just wondering because the idea is so foreign to me. I was grown-up the day I turned 18 and I never looked back! I would NEVER want to be a child again.

 

 

actually I hated being a child and a teen, everyone commented as I was growing up that I was like a little adult. Maybe that is why I don't feel grown up I feel the same I have all through my life even as a child. Could be partly due to always having been more of a grown up than a child and partly due to trying to recapture a last childhood through my children. Who knows?

[JennifersLost]

I don't think I'm trying to hold onto my childhood.

 

I just feel like I never got the "how to be an adult" manual. That doesn't mean I don't act adult. I think I do. I just feel like a fake.

 

I also have always lived in places where nothing changes when you reach adulthood. I don't get called "Mrs......" I get called my first name, by kids and adults alike. I'm short, so most everyone from the age of 12 up is taller than me. I don't dress like a teenager, but I don't dress "stuffy" or middle-aged, either. I don't wear my hair up and I haven't cut it off - two things that also signal "adulthood" - because both those styles are unflattering for me.

 

I also don't have "adult" habits - don't drink coffee or tea or any caffeine. Have never smoked. Barely drink alcohol.

 

And since I'm the "baby" of my family, I still get treated like one by my family.

 

I think like with many other things, it never occurred to me that you don't get "granted" adulthood by some outside person or process; you have to decide you are an adult and start acting like one. That's what makes you an adult.

[athena1277]

I'm so bummed to see that so many of you had such a terrible time growing up. I had an average childhood, and while I certainly had my ups and downs, I have lots of great memories of high school (no I was not a cheerleader or anything "popular").

I really loved college, which is also when I first felt "grown up". It was a great feeling to know that I could go to the mall between classes if I wanted to!

[Margaret in GA]

I had an OK childhood, like most people (on this board at least) I hated high school. I 'm the youngest of 7 and I always longed to be older than I was. I was raised to be independent and hard working so becoming an "adult" wasn't a big thing for me-- in fact my dh and I were engaged when I was just 19 and married less than a year later. I do think I felt a whole 'nuther level of maturity after the birth of my first, though (I was 23). BTW, we're still married ;) Thought I'd mention that as further proof of my early maturity ;)

 

Margaret:D

[elegantlion]

I don't think I'm trying to hold onto my childhood.

 

I just feel like I never got the "how to be an adult" manual. That doesn't mean I don't act adult. I think I do. I just feel like a fake.

 

I also don't have "adult" habits - don't drink coffee or tea or any caffeine. Have never smoked. Barely drink alcohol.

 

And since I'm the "baby" of my family, I still get treated like one by my family.

 

I think like with many other things, it never occurred to me that you don't get "granted" adulthood by some outside person or process; you have to decide you are an adult and start acting like one. That's what makes you an adult.

 

I seriously thought there was a manual, some great words of wisdom that my parents would pull me aside and teach me. Never happened. I don't think my parents really saw that their actions were training me to be an adult. I love my parents, but they let life happen to them, they don't go out and make it happen, KWIM?

[Desert Rat]

Well, I wouldn't want to be a child again although I had a great childhood. And I wouldn't want to be a teen either although I had many wonderful friends. But at the time I really didn't want to grow up because I understood the implications and I was terrified to be on my own. It worked out okay but the first couple years of college were very, very rough for me. It took me a long time to find my way and I still think that I took the path I did out of fear, at least somewhat.

I do tell my kids not to be in a hurry to grow up.