Worried, worried

[JennifersLost]

I need to be talked down or helped with this worry.

 

My kids are all small for their age and always have been. I'm 5'3", the boys' father was 5'6" or so. They're never going to be huge, but my oldest son is worrying me.

 

He eats like a bird. He is so skinny, both his younger brothers' waists are wider and I swear his 7 year old sister is nearly as big around. He is almost my height and I think still weighs under 90 pounds.

 

He's growing at his own pace - I've been to doctors and his "bone age" is two years younger. They're keeping tabs on him but not panicking yet.

 

Still, I want to.....beef him up or something! How do I get this kid to put on a little weight or muscle? I know exercise is important. I am going to work on that, but is their something he can eat? How would you approach this? He just had a stomach flu so now he's even skinnier than usual. Help!

[newlifemom]

My dh ate like a bird until college. Now he can eat 2-3x what I do. Not that I don't try to keep up. :D However, he is still so skinny that I could kill him. It is just not fair! I would only be worried about the bone age. Not sure how one goes about fixing that or should you even be worried about it. :confused:

 

Sorry couldn't be more help.

[Nicole M]

Macadamia nuts. I let my son keep some on his desk. I also drop a dollop of cashew macadamia nut butter into his daily smoothies, that I make with whole milk yogurt. (Does your son have nut or dairy allergies?) I also dump in some protein powder.

 

Laura (not) in China also has recently discovered that nuts help fatten up our skinny guys.

 

I hope others chime in. It is worrisome, these guys.

[LisaKinVA]

Unless there is some psychological reason your son isn't eating (fear of gaining weight, etc.), I would try not to worry. Provide him with dense snacks (nuts, granolas), make sure he's eating plenty of protein, drinking milk, eating cheese, etc. Most children eat what they need. If you want to sneak in some extra calories, add whey protein powder to a fruit smoothie, frozen fruit treat, or milk-based "shake." Lots of calories, and tastes pretty good too (oh, and the fruit smooties with whey protein powder are very helpful for a pregnant woman who can't seem to keep meat down).

 

I have four children. Two are naturally thin (and I mean THIN -- where their height is say 80th percentile and weight is like 15-20th), and two aren't. The two that aren't we talk a lot about healthy food choices and exercise (they also happen to be my oldest children). We have to be extremely careful with my daughter, though, because she internalizes EVERYTHING. If someone says she's chubby, it's like a flip switches and she panics about food and can't eat, becomes afraid of dying (I had an uncle who was morbidly obese and died of congestive heart failure, and she makes those associations to herself on her own -- our pediatrician is acutely aware of this also).

Edited December 6, 2008 by LisaK in VA
missed information.

[SheilaZ]

My son is about 5 feet tall and he only weighs 75 pounds. So I don't think that is underweight at all.

 

I do however have one child who is underweight for his height. We spoke to the doctor about it and she encouraged us to give him high fat foods and lots of carbohydrates. He also drinks a protein shake a couple of times a week to help with muscle building. (the kind body builders use.)

But (huge but on this advice) he is also a very active child who takes ADD meds that reduce his appetite. He's also in OT for various things including low muscle tone.

We didn't do anything without clearing it with the doctor first.

 

We don't make a big deal of this at all. We just offer him snacks all day. Nuts including peanuts and sunflower seeds, lots of bread and crackers, lots of pasta and we have meat every night.

[Tree House Academy]

My oldest son is tall and skinny - he weighs almost 70 pounds and is almost 5 feet tall.

[Rhonda in TX]

So was my 5'3" mom, which really bugged her. LOL

 

He was so, so skinny. Some people just are.

 

I'm not a doctor (obviously), and a doctor probably could put your concerns to rest, but I wouldn't worry too much.

[Mommyof4ks]

I agree with the other posters; some kids are just skinny and there is not much you can do about it. We put protein powder in everything we can for our DD who is too skinny IMO (the doc is not concerned though). We don't buy anything that says low fat or reduced fat, and we have her eat granola bars and nuts (as others have mentioned). Beyond that as long as he feels good and is not having health issues due to lower weight there may not be anything to worry about, but do call and talk to the doc if it would help ease your mind (no harm in that!).

[TraceyS/FL]

Aside from the other info you got, the Ped Endocrinologist referral "point" is supposed to be "2 deviations" off. Older than an infant that is normally 2 years. Since you are worried - i'd ask for the referral just to put your mind at ease. Our Endo was actually upset that they waited so long to refer DD - he's prefer to see kids sooner when it's obvious there is a growth issue (DD's chart was obvious).

 

But my Mom always got asked if she needed stuff wrapped in 2 boxes when she was shopping for my Dad. XL SHirts and 29" waist pants! LOL!!

[newlifemom]

but I certainly don't have issues in the skinny department.

 

 

Ain't that the truth.:glare:

 

 

 

 

 

 

:D

[abbeyej]

One easy thing to try would be zinc supplements. There've been a number of studies that show that zinc deficiencies lead to anorexia (the absence of hunger, not the psychological focus on thinness), and of course, if one isn't hungry and isn't eating, the zinc deficiency just gets worse and it's all a vicious cycle. And since you can give your kid zinc supplements easily and safely, it's worth a try for a month or two to see if it impacts his appetite.

[Peela]

What popped into my mind was the Nourishing Traditions approach- maybe your library has that book. (Sally Fallon). Meaty bone broths, raw milk, butter etc.

Also, try zinc if his appetite isn't so good.

[JennifersLost]

Zinc it is. Maybe I should practice my Jewish grandmother routine - "Eat! Eat!"

 

I've always tried not to make a fuss about the kids' eating. We enjoy our food. We eat meat some days and vegetarian other days. I make homemade bread and cookies. This kid always stops eating when he's full - he'll turn down a fabulous dessert if he's not hungry (me? never.). That's just the way he is.

 

But sometimes he seems all hunched in on himself. Maybe exercise is what I really need to focus on - that would make him hungrier, right?

[cillakat]

Still, I want to.....beef him up or something! How do I get this kid to put on a little weight or muscle? I know exercise is important. I am going to work on that, but is their something he can eat? How would you approach this?

 

make sure he's getting enough zinc (from supplements)....trader joe's high potency men's one a day multi is great as is rainbow light 'just once' men's multi. he should probably get another 15 mg zinc per day in addition.

 

sufficient vitamin d as well (2000 IU per day for now).....it will normalize muscle strength/growth when his body is ready to do that. (in addition to all of the other things d does....cancer protection, ward off autoimmune disorders, optimize immune function, protect against various other physical/mental issues)

 

All the best,

K

[Alexandra]

My skinny guy really loses his appetite when he is indoors and sedentary all day. He would love to play WoW all day and it makes him not hungry or forget to eat.

[Pamela H in Texas]

Still, I want to.....beef him up or something! How do I get this kid to put on a little weight or muscle?

 

You don't....and you don't show any concern about it in front of him. And you really don't want to. It can cause other issues you never imagined.

 

And I think it'll all work out in the end. He'll fill out eventually. IF he is interested, he can gain muscle once he's producing more testosterone and such. I told my ds (but for a different reason now), that it'll work about the time he gets hair under his arms (he had recently had a growth spurt). And then boys fill out to natural proportions in their late teens.

 

But try not to worry.

 

Oh, btw, I have a friend whose children looked like they were 7 and 8 when they were 11 and 12. I thought they'd always look babyish and be way under height and under weight. They both eventually found a major growth spurt. No big deal.

 

If the doc was worried, that would be different. And you could go have a second opinion if it'd quell your fears.

 

But I think you'll see it'll work out. It just may take several years.

[In The Great White North]

Dd(12) is 5'4" and weighs 95lb. I think lots of kids are in that range, certainly around here. She swims 4000-5000 yards a day and is certainly not unhealthy.

 

If you want to "beef him up," I tend to agree with the pp who said they eat more when they exercise. She eats way more after practice than she does at breakfast. The "beef" you want to add is muscle not fat anyway.

[mom26]

One thing my pediatrician told me to do for my underweight son was have him drink Carnation Instant breakfast at least once a day...for a while I used whole milk but now he is drinking skim like the rest of the family...anyhow, he has gained 6# in the last year which was huge for him...he is still underweight and tiny but I was grateful for that gain!!

Blessings,

kathi

[Lolly]

I have two skinnies and two not skinnies. My first dd was 5'4" and 90 lb at 13. At 16, she is 5'6" and 115. She is absolutely perfect. Second skinny was 5'5" and 85 lb at 12. At 14 she is 5'8" and 105. She is still really skinny. I know it won't be a problem when she gets older though. (I am 5'6" and was 105 when I got married.) Skinny kids are not usually capable of putting on much weight or muscle mass until after puberty (I don't know how old your ds is.) which often comes later than for more averaged sized kids.

 

What I have found is that my skinny girls tend to have excellent eating habits. When they exercise, they eat more. When they are sedentary, they eat less. When they are full they stop eating. I got really worried about my first dd when she was about 11 (thanks to a well meaning swim coach who thought she was just way too skinny) and started giving her Boost to drink every day on the advice of the coach. The result was her body automatically calculated those extra calories in and she cut back on what she ate because she was full. Result, a less balanced diet with nutritional needs being met by a vitamin based drink. I'd rather have her meet her nutritional needs through real food. Same coach and I nearly had a brawl because of her harping on second dd about her weight. She just wouldn't lay off. Making weight, heavy or light, an emphasis in a kid's life really isn't a very good idea.

 

If you really feel the need to boost his caloric intake, you can try adding in a milkshake a day. You can get the calories in a milkshake really high really fast. Use ice cream, Carnation Instant Breakfast, Boost or Ensure instead of milk, peanut butter, and a banana in it and you have one of the highest calorie drinks you can possibly imagine! (Enough for the entire day actually.) I would suggest having him drink it around 2:30pm when he may be hungry enough after lunch, but far enough away from dinner that he will still eat it. Just watch to make sure that it doesn't keep him from eating what he normally would at mealtimes.

[Danestress]

I'm surprised that I seem to be in the minority as someone who would worry. And I'm especially surprised that so many people say that they wouldn't worry because their daughters (or themselves) are that way. Boys aren't girls. I wouldn't find a whole lot of comfort in that.

 

If he is 5'3" and under 90 pounds, his body mass index is under 16 and he is underweight. Quite underweight.

 

If he is being followed by a doctor, I am not sure what else you can do. But I would be a little worried about the lack of appetite at his age since he's well into his teen years. If he were super skinny but a big eater, I wouldn't worry so much. My husband was very very very skinny in high school. But he ate very well - he just exercised all. the. time. But if he's not eating I would want to understand why, and I would especially want to make sure he doesn't have eating issues. Boys do sometimes, even though they are obviously much more common in girls.

 

I'm not sure how to "fatten him up" but maybe you should start with exercise and making sure he is getting plenty of heart healthy fats and protein.

 

I am not telling you that you should panic, at all. But I also don't think you are being silly to have concerns about this, and I would probably be doing what you are doing - starting to ask questions, read up, and find out what options there are.

[Brindee]

How old is your ds, I don't think I saw anything that said, did I?

 

My middle ds was like that. VERY skinny, but the doc checked him out and was not worried. Our family has "skinny" in it, and short in it. My dh was short and skinny and didn't eat much when he was young. He finally grew upwards, but he was still very skinny. When we got married, he was 26yo, 5'10 1/2" weighed 116, and had a 27 inch waist. He's now in his 40's, and just got to the 30's for waist size, and is close to 140 pounds.

 

Do you have a norm growth pattern for your family history? If you look back on your side and dh's side of the family, are there others that this same pattern (or close) happened to? If you don't know, maybe you can check and see, and see how they turned out as/when they got older.

 

 

I am adding this, since others talked about their dd's--My dd is 11, hasn't hit 5ft. yet, and weighs 73 pounds. We have a hard time finding her clothes that fit around the waist! But she does have a decent appetite, and, again, the doc isn't worried as she is healthy and continuing to grow, just slowly. I was the same way as well. Then between my 8th and 9th grade school years I grew 4 inches over the summer! I went from almost the shortest (there was one boy shorter than me), to the second tallest (one girl taller) in 2 months time! I ended up being 5'9" before I finally stopped growing up! When dh and I got married, though, I was 5'9", weighed 118 and had a 23 1/2 inch waist. I, ummm, weigh more than that now, and my waist, after 3 kids, is bigger also! :)

 

It's possible it's just how his body is set up to eat and grow, but it NEVER hurts to check it out. We never did protein shakes or anything like that, aside from making sure they were getting healthy food and all the vitamins they needed.

 

Best wishes, I hope all is well with him!

Edited December 7, 2008 by Brindee

[Kris]

I need to be talked down or helped with this worry.

 

My kids are all small for their age and always have been. I'm 5'3", the boys' father was 5'6" or so. They're never going to be huge, but my oldest son is worrying me.

 

He eats like a bird. He is so skinny, both his younger brothers' waists are wider and I swear his 7 year old sister is nearly as big around. He is almost my height and I think still weighs under 90 pounds.

 

He's growing at his own pace - I've been to doctors and his "bone age" is two years younger. They're keeping tabs on him but not panicking yet.

 

Still, I want to.....beef him up or something! How do I get this kid to put on a little weight or muscle? I know exercise is important. I am going to work on that, but is their something he can eat? How would you approach this? He just had a stomach flu so now he's even skinnier than usual. Help!

 

I really just wouldn't worry about it. If you look at pictures of most kids from the time they're babies to adulthood, there are a *lot* of changes.

 

Both of my kids were really skinny. I used to make my daughters clothes and had a hard time figuring out what size patterns to buy -- she was tall for her age, and skinny as a rail, which only made it look worse. When I asked the clerk at the fabric store what to do, she just looked at her and said, "Well, feeding her would be a good start." That was helpful.

 

My son looked like the next great linebacker when he was little, to the point that he wasn't even on the growth charts, he was so big. When I asked his Filipino pediatrician if he was okay, he just looked up at me (yes, he was a little, short guy) and said, "You no lightweight yourself!" :lol:

 

Now, he's over 6'6" and if he turns sideways, you can hardly tell he's even there, he's so skinny. But eating is not a problem -- keeping food in the house is a problem!

 

Really, I just wouldn't worry about it. If the doctor doesn't think intervention is required, it probably isn't.

 

I know this doesn't make you feel better, but I'd suggest finding something else to worry about. There's *got* to be something! :lol:

 

Good luck! :001_smile:

[Laura Corin]

Macadamia nuts. I let my son keep some on his desk. I also drop a dollop of cashew macadamia nut butter into his daily smoothies, that I make with whole milk yogurt. (Does your son have nut or dairy allergies?) I also dump in some protein powder.

 

Laura (not) in China also has recently discovered that nuts help fatten up our skinny guys.

 

I hope others chime in. It is worrisome, these guys.

 

Calvin is still off the bottom of the BMI chart (around 75% for height, 25% for weight) but he's put on a bit of flesh from eating nuts - I just leave them on the homeschool table for him to nibble on.

 

Laura

[JennifersLost]

Nuts are a no-no for us, unfortunately. I have a child with severe allergies.

 

But thanks, everyone, for the ideas. I think I'm going to focus on exercise.

[Laura Corin]

Nuts are a no-no for us, unfortunately. I have a child with severe allergies.

 

 

How about sunflower seeds? They are full of oils and are tasty, especially toasted with shoyu (soy sauce).

 

Laura

[JennifersLost]

I've never found sunflower seeds that arent' processed in a facility that processes nuts, too.

 

It's such a drag. I really, really miss nuts and seeds, LOL!